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It started with a question, one that halted Poe Dameron’s breath for a microsecond before he regained his cavalier composure, leaning with a careless air against the table in the Millennium Falcon’s common room.
“You’ve never done what?”
“Kissed anyone,” Finn repeated, unable to look the older man in the eye as he stood in the doorway leading back to the cockpit. He wasn’t short, but he seemed to shrink into the floor, staring pointedly down though still unable to hide the flush of his cheeks. His voice was low, a conspirator sharing a secret and terrible plan, and it was obvious he didn’t want anyone else to overhear. “Didn’t exactly have the opportunity as a Stormtrooper, you know?”
“Yeah, uh…” Poe trailed off, his own face unusually warm. Was it warm in here? Did he need to fix the environmental controls again? “That makes sense. So what?”
Somehow Finn’s face became even more red. Poe could practically see steam coming out of his ears. “So…” he trailed off, and Poe managed to put two and two together.
“You’re hanging out with Rey tonight.”
“Training,” Finn corrected, though he seemed to be speaking to himself more than to Poe, one of the little habits of his Poe found most endearing. “We’re training when we get back to base. That’s it.”
“Then what has you worried about kissing?” Poe felt the corners of his mouth turn up. Part of him wanted to relieve Finn of his embarrassment, but the rest of him was enjoying every second of how adorable the younger man looked when he was flustered. “Shouldn’t you be more worried about her kicking your ass?”
Finn scowled at him. “Why is that a foregone conclusion with everyone? Does nobody have faith in my ability to win a sparring match with Rey?”
Poe’s eyebrows cocked up.
Finn’s scowl lessened and he sat down at the table. “... Okay, it’s a foregone conclusion.”
“And obviously not too big a concern if you’re thinking about kissing,” Poe smirked.
“Look,” Finn’s blush was back again, though this time he was giving Poe a look that was somewhere between a glare and a concerned frown, and the space it was between was entirely too sweet for Poe to handle. “The last few times we’ve been sparring, after she kicks my ass a few times, we’ve been, you know, sitting and talking.”
“What about?” Poe tried to ignore a small curl of jealousy in his stomach -- not even on the topic of kissing, just at the idea of the two of them spending their free time together. The three of them played such separate roles in the resistance that any time they spent together was rarely unrelated to work. Even this brief trip in the Falcon was on the resistance’s time, and their conversation remained at a low whisper due to Rey’s presence in the cockpit.
“Oh, you know,” Finn shrugged. “Anything. Everything. The resistance, training, what she learned with Luke Skywalker, I tell her about being a stormtrooper, she tells me about being a scavenger. Anyway, the last few times we’ve talked there have been these…” he waved his hand vaguely. “Moments.”
“Moments?” The curl in Poe’s stomach grew a few sizes.
Finn looked down studiously at the table. “Moments where… you know…” he waved his hand again.
Poe felt the curling sensation in his stomach shift to something warmer. He couldn’t maintain the smallest dose of jealousy when Finn was being … well, Finn. He was so incredibly earnest about everything, and that of course was the root of his inability to express his feelings in words.
“Right,” Poe said, finally. “I think I know what you mean. So, you’ve never kissed anyone, that’s the first thing I’m getting from this extremely clear and straightforward conversation. Am I on track so far?”
Finn nodded, still looking resolutely at the table.
“The second thing,” he said, resisting the urge to put his hand over Finn’s hand, a gesture of reassurance that he couldn’t bring himself to give, not right now. “Is that you want to kiss Rey.”
Something flashed across Finn’s face that Poe didn’t recognize. It wasn’t embarrassment… could it be guilt? Fear? Poe felt his stomach twist again, that same warmth magnified with a spark of hope he barely dared to acknowledge. His expression returned to the previous state of embarrassment, and he nodded again.
“So,” Poe continued, moving a little closer to Finn on the bench -- not too close, just enough to keep their conversation covert. “What are you telling me for?”
Finn seemed to shrink again, as if he wanted the bench and table of the falcon to swallow him up. “Well, I guess, I… uh…” he glanced up at Poe and their eyes locked, gazes held for perhaps a second longer the two of them had in the past. “I was hoping you could… I don’t know…” he trailed off, breaking Poe’s gaze.
“Help?” Poe finished, doing his best to keep his tone even.
Silence separated them for what felt like an eternity before Finn finally shrugged and said. “I mean… you’ve … been around… you’ve, you know…”
It was Poe’s turn to blush. He was sure the stories some of the other pilots told made him out to be far more of an experienced conquistador and heartbreaker than he had ever been in reality. “I’ve … kissed people before, yeah, I have. Don’t believe everything you’ve heard, but, uh, yeah. I’ve kissed a reasonable and appropriate amount of people. Yeah.” He was babbling. He needed to stop. He closed his mouth.
“Yeah,” Finn echoed. “So, uh… do you have any advice?”
Poe blinked, his smile returning. “Advice? You want some tips and tricks? How about a little roleplaying? You be Rey, it’ll be hilarious.”
“Poe!” Finn’s face twisted into embarrassed agony. “Come on, man, be serious!”
“I am serious!” Poe felt himself slide a little closer to Finn on the bench to elbow him in the side. “I bet I can do a perfect impression of you too, hang on.” He put his hands down on the table and opened his eyes wide, dropping his voice half an octave. “Oh wow, Rey, you just beat me up using nothing but a stick and your beautiful smile! Let’s talk about our feelings and look at each other all dreamy!”
“Shut UP!” Finn protested, giving Poe a shove that was not entirely an objection. “She’ll hear you!”
“Okay, fine,” Poe held up his hands. “I’m done, I’m done. Fine, what advice can I give you? I mean, what do you want, kissing lessons?”
Finn froze, and Poe took a breath while his brain caught up with him and realized what he’d said. Another gulf of silence fell between them as Poe started backpedaling. “I mean, like, a theoretical discussion kind of lesson, I can go over some of the finer points, you know what I mean?”
Finn paused for a little too long before he said. “Yeah, I… uh… I get you. Yeah.”
“Great!” Poe ignored his somersaulting stomach and rested his hands on the table again. “Okay, so, the first step in a good kiss is knowing when to go for the right moment. “
“The right moment,” Finn nodded. He was avoiding Poe’s direct gaze now, though he looked less embarrassed than before. Poe didn’t recognize the expression on Finn’s face, and he tried not to dwell on it, focusing on sounding as wise as possible. It masked his own nerves.
“You’ve got good instincts,” Poe continued, still looking at his hands. “You’ve identified the moments, now you need to know what to do to act on them.”
“Okay,” Finn nodded again. “So, uh, then what do I do?”
“Well,” Poe patted the table with one hand to hide that it was shaking. “Usually, what I do, is, I say something like…” he trailed off, looking over at Finn, who met his eyes again. “I wait for the moment, you know that moment, and I just, I lean in…” Poe felt himself lean towards Finn, didn’t try to stop himself. “And I say something like ‘I’d like to kiss you now. That all right?’ And if they say yes, then, well…” he trailed off. “So yeah, that’s what I do.”
“You ask?” Finn said, still looking at Poe, who felt his face getting hot. “That’s … pretty sweet of you.”
“I figure a kiss is better if you know the person you’re with wants it as much as you do,” Poe said. “It’s worked well for me so far.”
“Yeah,” Finn said. His face was earnest again, his eyes shining. “I think I can do that.”
“You…” Poe trailed off and swallowed. “Wanna give it a try? Asking, I mean. It helps if you give it a try.”
“Yeah,” Finn nodded again, taking a deep breath and taking his hands off the table, resting them in his lap. He swallowed, and then paused. Waiting for the moment. The air between them felt electric, like even the smallest fraction of movement would create sparks. Poe’s face was on fire, his breathing erratic, and his eyes stayed on Finn’s face.
“So…” Poe whispered. “The moment.”
“Yeah,” Finn nodded. “The moment.” He was leaning closer, Poe was sure of it. Their eyes met and the air hummed again, electric and warm and still. Poe felt Finn’s hand gently rest on his and he swallowed again, almost holding his breath.
Inches apart, Poe felt Finn’s breath against his lips, and he more felt than heard the words that Finn whispered:
“I’d like to kiss you now,” Finn breathed. “Is that alright?”
Poe let out a small breath, a gasp, and whispered the word he wanted to scream.
“Yeah.”
Finn’s other hand reached up to rest on Poe’s face, and he whispered. “So… what happens now?”
“This part…” Poe swallowed and tried to use his brain. “Mostly just takes practice.”
“Right…” Finn whispered. “Practice.”
“Practice, and…” Poe couldn’t remember how to breathe. “What feels good.”
“Yeah…” Finn trailed off, his hand warm on Poe’s cheek, and they looked at each other for a long moment.
Poe couldn’t say which one of them moved first, but by the time Finn’s lips touched his lips he didn’t care at all about first moves. He was kissing Finn, and Finn was kissing him back, and all he could do was try to remember to keep breathing.
Finn’s lips were warm, though clumsy with the newness of the experience. His mouth tasted sweet, and his uncertain movements somehow made the kiss all the more remarkable, all the sweeter. Poe felt hot and ice cold, slightly light headed until he remembered to breathe again, and he wondered when he was going to wake up, as he did whenever anything that had previously seemed impossible happened to him.
The kiss lasted an age, soft and gentle and tentative. When they finally broke apart Finn was breathless, and Poe knew their faces mirrored each other.
“So…” Finn whispered. “Like that?”
Poe nodded, his lips curving into a smile. “Yeah,” he said. “Like that.”
Finn pulled his hand away from Poe’s face, though his other hand still rested on Poe’s on the table. “Rey and I talk about you a lot, you know.” he said.
“Really?” Poe said. His head was swimming, his brain catching up with his body and informing him that no, this was not a dream. “What about me?”
Finn swallowed. “Mostly about… things like this,” He said. “Wanting… this. Together. The pilots in your squad, they say you’ve done this kind of thing before.”
“What,” Poe’s brain was back online enough to function with some semblance of wit. “Kissing lessons?”
“No,” Finn flushed again, looking down at his lap. “I mean… you know… having… feelings for more than one person at once.”
“Oh,” Poe’s gaze fell too, looking down at their joined hands. “I… yeah.” He was at a loss for words again. “So… you… and Rey?”
Finn gave a helpless little shrug. “I mean… I’ve seen the way you look at her when she’s helping you with repairs on your fighter.”
“Well, yeah,” Poe said, defensive. “That’s the way I look at you when I’m showing you around the base.” He flushed, knowing he wasn’t getting out of this without a shovel, so he might as well be honest. “It’s also the way you look at her when you’re sparring.”
“... And the way I look at you,” Finn added.
Poe leaned back slightly to get a better look at Finn. “Was all of this a clever ruse to get me to kiss you?” he asked.
Finn blushed deeper. “I mean… I was telling the truth,” he said. “I still haven’t kissed Rey. I really could use some lessons. But…” he shrugged again. “I could have asked anyone for advice I guess.”
“As opposed to this advice?” Poe added, his voice soft. “Where you take a more practical approach?”
Finn’s eyes met his again, and Poe was struck by how serious they were, an uncharacteristic expression for the young man. But Poe read more than that in them, seeing the young man who had saved him from certain death at the hands of Kylo Ren, the man he had named in a frantic chase to get back to Jakku, his friend… his hero…
“It made sense in my head?” Finn tried.
Poe’s smile twitched into a grin, and he twisted his hand so that he was actually holding Finn’s hand in his own. “I mean, next time we could just have a conversation about our feelings,” he suggested. “Though, I admit, I liked this a lot better.”
Finn smiled wide, and this time he knew he didn’t need to ask if Poe was alright with being kissed again.
Time passed, though he couldn’t say how much. Minutes melted away, exchanged for kisses, awkward kisses, chuckles, blushing. Finn had no idea what he was doing at all, but oh he was trying, he was very enthusiastically trying, and Poe had no intention of complaining.
Poe finally came back down to earth at the sound of a low and amused beep coming from the other side of the table. They broke apart and saw BB-8 looking quizzically at them, or as quizzically as a droid with one eye and a ball for a body could manage.
“What are you looking at?” Poe said, out of breath and back to blushing. “Beat it, buddy.”
BB-8 rolled away, chirping a cheerful tune and letting out a stream of beeps that made Poe blush even harder.
“What did BB-8 just say?” Finn asked, also out of breath.
Poe shook his head. “‘Took you long enough’.”
Finn let out a nervous laugh, clearly unable to get the smile off of his face. Poe knew how he felt.
“So, do you feel a little better about…?” Poe made a vague hand motion towards his mouth, causing Finn’s smile to widen.
“Yeah,” Finn replied. “Guess I just needed a good teacher.”
“Well,” Poe coughed, standing up and attempting to recover his calm demeanour. “Practice makes perfect, so if you want to, you know… keep practicing, you should definitely let me know. You know, when you have some free time.”
Finn smiled at him, and Poe felt his heart pounding at the sight of it. “I’ll do that,” he said.
Another series of beeps from BB-8 reminded Poe that he needed to relieve Chewie in the cockpit, and so he reluctantly left Finn with the wookie to work on some repairs.
Rey was checking some of the settings in the co-pilot’s chair, engrossed, and when Poe knocked on the side of the doorway she jumped slightly. “Oh!” she said. “Poe, I didn’t hear you come in!”
“It’s all right,” he said, stepping to the side so she could cross to the pilot seat. “Been taking stealth lessons from Finn.”
“From Finn?” Rey laughed, and the sound made the familiar warmth return to Poe’s insides. “He doesn’t strike me as the most stealthy of people.”
“You’d be surprised,” Poe replied, sitting down in the co-pilot seat. “How’s everything running up here?”
“Smooth now that we’ve repaired that issue with the hyperdrive,” Rey said, settling into the captain’s chair. “Chewie’s been helping me learn the Falcon’s quirks.” She rested a hand on the console, looking slightly wistful, and Poe knew she was thinking of Han. “I mostly just need company while I keep track of these readings.”
“No problem,” Poe said, grinning. “And she may not be an X-wing, but if you need any piloting tips, you know I’m your man.”
They smiled at each other for a moment, then fell into a comfortable silence as the stars passed them by. After a few moments of fiddling with switches and checking panels, Rey finally spoke.
“Poe, can I tell you something?”
“Anything,” Poe said, leaning back in the co-pilot seat. “What’s up?”
“Well,” Rey paused, her cheeks beginning to colour. “I’ve… never kissed anyone before.”
Poe’s eyebrows went up, and he looked over at Rey, who was now industriously studying some exposed wiring under the hyperdrive switches. He thought about Finn, and was unable to suppress a thrilled smile.
“Oh Yeah?” he said, unable to contain himself. “You want lessons? I’ve been told I’m a good teacher.”