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They are at another party and Hyunjin is losing hope. Not that he had much- if any- to begin with but Hyunjin is losing it anyway.
And Jisung- his supposedly best friend- is being of no fucking help once again. Making sense and talking like an adult.
Jisung!
That is what Hyunjin's life- well, love life- has come down to. Jisung making sense. The man-child himself who malfunctions the moment his crush comes within distance.
How is Hyunjin supposed to take anything that comes out of that quokka man's mouth seriously? Especially anything concerning their pathetic love lives and lack of interest from their crushes.
And okay, maybe Hyunjin is being ridiculous right now, complaining about how Changbin isn't paying any attention to him.
“He never gets jealous when people come up to me, Ji. He just doesn't see me that way.”
“Well, it's not like he has any right over you or anything."
Jisung- of all people- tries to reason. Who made him a sudden expert?
Seeing Hyunjin's souring expression, Jisung lets out an exasperated huff.
"Hyunjin, you are not together. Wouldn't it be weird if he got jealous openly when people approached you when you haven't shown any interest towards him either?"
"I have shown plenty of interest!” Hyunjin argues.
He has.
Probably…
“Dude, you literally run away the moment he approaches.”
"It's not like you are any different.” Hyunjin shoots back.
"Shut your fucking trap, this isn't about me.’’
Hyunjin can’t wait until it’s Jisung’s time. He will make sure to make his life a living hell.
“Look, all I am saying is that he is probably being a decent human being and respecting your stupid choices and not overstepping.”
Jisung continues, obviously exasperated and done with this conversation that they've had about a million times.
Hyunjin knows, he's counted.
"All I’m hearing is that he is not interested in me.”
"That’s cause you’re stupid.”
"Hey!"
Hyunjin takes great offense to that. He is not the stupid one. Jisung is.
“Besides,” Jisung continues like he hasn't just insulted Hyunjin, his best friend of all time. “I find it hard to believe he isn't interested with the way he has been staring at you for the past ten minutes.”
Jisung's grin is a feral thing and it makes Hyunjin shiver before the words that came out of his mouth finally register in Hyunjin's preoccupied brain.
"Wait, what? He’s here? Why didn’t you say something sooner?” Hyunjin all but screeches.
“Well, I am saying something now. Are you going to do anything about it? And if you say make him jealous, I will fucking deck you.”
Jisung's hands come up in a karate chop position and Hyunjin immediately takes a step back, knowing the pain that can inflict.
"I wouldn't do that!” Hyunjin denies instantly although he totally would. But only because he is stupid and desperate and a little in love.
Jisung gives him a disbelieving look, and okay, Hyunjin lets that slide cause Jisung has every right to react that way.
Fuck Jisung for knowing him so well.
“Okay fine. I thought about it. But-” Hyunjin says over Jisung's opening mouth. "I am getting a little tired and dejected about this so I kinda want to talk to him? Maybe?”
And it's true.
No matter how much Hyunjin protests and whines he always gets back up and pines again, but he is coming to terms that maybe Changbin is just not interested.
Which is fine.
It will break Hyunjin's fragile little heart that is so set on Changbin, but he will get over it.
Eventually.
After lots of ugly crying and ice-cream eating and cuddling with his better best friend, Felix.
Because fuck Han Jisung.
“Oh, what is this? Hyunjin behaving like an adult? Who would have thought?”
See! Fuck Han Jisung.
“Shut the fuck up. I hate you.” Hyunjin hisses out, trying to put his heart behind it. It- predictably- doesn’t work.
“You love me.” Jisung hits back immediately, a shit-eating grin on his face that both infuriates and endears Hyunjin.
“Unfortunately.” Hyunjin accepted his fate long ago.
“So, is he still looking?" Hyunjin asks, trying but failing miserably to keep the hope out of his voice.
"Yeah, about that…”
Oh no, No, no, no. Hyunjin doesn't like that one fucking bit.
“What does that m-”
Hyunjin doesn't get to finish his question before a voice comes from behind him, making his whole body freeze in place in panic, eyes wide with terror as he looks at Jisung.
"Hey.”
Okay, see, so, maybe Hyunjin just told Jisung that he is thinking of talking to Changbin. But he was thinking more like in ten years’ time? Yeah, that would be a sufficient amount of time to prepare.
His initial thought was twenty, but maybe that would have been a bit too long, even for him.
So, having Changbin, his crush and potential love of his life, approaching him and not only that, greeting him, has Hyunjin- understandably, thank you very much- pissing his pants.
Jisung, the fucking bitch, just looks at this train wreck happening, face amused.
Hyunjin narrows his eyes, projecting thoughts of violent torture and agonising death to him.
Jisung's grin remains intact, so he is probably not getting what Hyunjin is trying to communicate. Must be the Wi-Fi interjecting with Hyunjin's mind signal.
Yes, that is the only reasonable explanation why Jisung is still grinning at him and not stepping in to save his best friend: Bad signal.
A clearing of a throat has Hyunjin jumping, eyes widening again in panic.
Jisung takes pity on him, maybe, or just wants to see him suffer, because he physically turns Hyunjin around to face Changbin.
Hyunjin’s thoughts – hell, his whole brain- stops working at the sight of Changbin's amused, if a little apprehensive, smile and exposed arms.
Hyunjin must visibly gulp because Changbin’s eyes widen a fraction, and his smile turns into a small grin.
“Hello, Hyunjin.”
Changbin greets again and Hyunjin's eyes snap from his deliciously buff arms to his mouth.
And God, what a mouth that is. Hyunjin just wants to lick and taste it every day for-
A push from behind has Hyunjin's thoughts coming to a halt, reminding him that he has to speak.
"Oh-uhm-hello-hey-uhm... yeah, hi?"
Jisung's strangled laugh reaches Hyunjin's ears, but he chooses to ignore him.
Hyunjin did pretty good as far as greetings go, if he says so himself. Included every one of them and did not leave any out because he is considerate like that.
Changbin must think so too, because his smile widens.
It does make Hyunjin's heart stop just a little, how beautiful Changbin looks when he smiles but his attention gets pulled to his lips again because they are moving and Hyunjin will never forgive himself if he misses anything out of that mouth, those plush lips-
No.
Focus, Hyunjin!
"You look very pretty tonight.”
Hyunjin physically hears his brain stop, everything going silent up there.
His mouth opens but nothing comes out.
Is this real life or is this just fantasy?
Did the love of his life just compliment him?
Before Hyunjin can freak out, Changbin is opening that gorgeous mouth of his again.
"Oh, uhm, I didn't mean to- You look pretty every day, not just tonight.”
His words are so unsure that Hyunjin's heart breaks a little. Words are not coming easily but he can't let Changbin think he has done wrong.
"No, no, no. You didn't- I... Thank you, for the, uhm, compliment. Compliments. Uhm, yes, thank you. You too.”
"Me too?"
Changbin asks, head tilting to the side a little, eyes narrowing like he is trying very hard to understand the meaning behind Hyunjin’s words.
“You look pretty too? Tonight, and uhm, every day?”
“I look pretty?”
Hyunjin can't assess Changbin's tone. Doesn't know if he doesn't like being called pretty or just hasn't been told that before.
Hyunjin really hopes it's the second one. Even if a little sad, Hyunjin will make sure to rectify it and tell him every day until he gets bored of hearing it.
Because it's true. So, so true.
"Yes?" Hyunjin settles with, not knowing whether he needs to retract the compliment in case he insulted Changbin.
"Oh."
Hyunjin is one second away from crying at the thought of making Changbin uncomfortable but then…then Changbin- gorgeous, gorgeous Changbin- mumbles a ‘thank you’, cheeks flushed, smile bashful and Hyunjin's whole being ascends.
Oh, he is so, so fucked.
He returns the smile, so happy and pleased to have made Changbin blush that it must show on his face. He should be embarrassed, and he will probably curse his entire existence later when he is alone but now, with Changbin so close and so receptive, all Hyunjin feels is blessed.
And happy.
And maybe a little- lot - horny, but that is beside the point.
The point being, that Hyunjin feels hope that this can go somewhere, that he was wrong in believing Changbin was not interested.
The thought that he is only interested in one night invades Hyunjin's brain out of nowhere and he has to push it aside hard lest he starts crying in front of Changbin.
God, would that suck.
Hyunjin fiercely hopes that is not the case.
Plus, he is sure he can woo Changbin into falling for him. If he ever gets the courage to talk to Changbin again after tonight, that is.
Improbable but not impossible.
Probably…
"I'm gonna go grab a drink.” Jisung announces, drawing their attention. “You guys want anything?"
When Hyunjin shakes his head and Changbin politely declines, Jisung leaves with an ‘I'll be around’ and a meaningful look at Hyunjin.
The look screams don't fuck this up and Hyunjin scoffs inside his head because of course he won't fuck this up.
But then it dawns on him that he is left alone with Changbin and fuck, Hyunjin is so fucking this up.
"So... how is it hanging?"
The moment the words are out of his mouth, Hyunjin wants the earth to split open and swallow him whole.
How is it hanging? Who even says that?
It brings a chuckle out of Changbin so maybe it's not so bad.
"It's hanging...”
Silence follows and Hyunjin wants so desperately to fill it, has so many things he wants to say to Changbin, so many things he wants to ask him, but the words get tangled up in his mouth, a ball he can't untangle without making a fool of himself.
It makes him want to cry and also disappear because how is he supposed to woo Changbin if he can't even talk to him?
It doesn't help that Changbin is looking at him with a calculating look in his eyes, making the mess in Hyunjin’s mind and mouth even more intense.
"Okay. Okay.”
Changbin looks away for a second before his eyes return to Hyunjin with determination. He sounds like he is psyching himself up and Hyunjin doesn't know whether to be excited or terrified.
“I'm just going to come out and say it before I lose my nerve.”
Hyunjin waits with bated breath for Changbin's next words.
"Hyunjin, I really like you, I think you are beautiful and I would love to get to know you more.”
The words come out hurriedly, no pauses in between but Changbin looks a little relieved by the end of them.
The relief turns into dread and embarrassment the more Hyunjin stares at him with his mouth open.
Changbin brings a hand to rub the back of his neck, taking a small step backwards and Hyunjin reacts without thought, grabbing Changbin's arm and pulling him gently back.
Changbin's eyebrows shoot up to his hairline, eyes darting between Hyunjin's face and the grip he has on his arm.
Hyunjin belatedly realises that he can't just manhandle people without permission, so he drops his hand, embarrassed right to his core.
Thankfully, his remorse kickstarts his speaking ability.
“I'm so sorry for touching you like that. It was purely on instinct.”
"It's okay. I am a little surprised but it's all good." Changbin is quick to forgive and Hyunjin likes him so much.
If only he could communicate that.
"I..." He starts but he trails off, not knowing where to start or how to formulate his thoughts.
“You can tell me to get lost if I make you uncomfortable.”
Changbin reassures him.
"No, no! You didn't- It's not-”
Hyunjin takes a deep breath, readying himself to lay it all out on the table.
He only has one shot, one opportunity, to seize-
Fuck!
Hyunjin! Focus!
"You didn't- don't - make me uncomfortable. More like speechless, because I wasn't expecting the words that came out of your mouth."
"In a good way.” Hyunjin hurries to explain. “I've been crushing on you for so long I don't even remember what it's like not to like you.”
Okay, maybe Hyunjin should have started a little lighter, but now that he is speaking, the words that were trapped in his mouth for so long just come spilling out.
"I've been trying to get your attention for a long time and every time it didn't work I lost a little bit more hope. But mama raised no quitter. Maybe a coward but we can't all be perfect.”
"I- you- I didn't know. I never noticed, Hyunjin.”
Changbin's words are softly spoken so Hyunjin has to lean forward a little to catch them.
"I just thought you were maybe interested and if not, that would be okay as well. I just needed to try, couldn’t not.’’
"So, like, you didn't see me looking at you literally all the time?” Hyunjin questions, bewildered.
He thought he had been obvious.
"Hyunjin, every time I tried looking at you, you vanished. If not for my friends’ insistence that you were there, I would have never approached you with the way you kept running away.”
"Oh. I- I see... I always got extremely panicked and ran before I could make a fool of myself."
Okay, so, maybe Hyunjin has to re-evaluate some things.
A gasp tears from his mouth, one of utter horror.
It has Changbin looking at him alarmed.
"What happened?”
"I just realised Han Jisung- that’s my worst best friend- was right. Do you know how bad this will be for me and the world when he finds out? I don't think the universe can handle his ego.”
Changbin just laughs at him and Hyunjin has this intense need again, to kiss that laugh, taste it and keep it for himself.
"No, no, you don't understand. He will become insufferable.”
"Then don't tell him."
"Don't tell him what?"
"That he was right.”
"…I didn't think about that. You're right."
“Oh, Hyunjin. You are a true delight."
"I-I am?”
“Undeniably.”
"Oh… Thank you.”
Hyunjin can feel his cheeks heat up at the compliment and the fondness in Changbin's eyes.
“Hey, Hyunjin?”
"Hmm?”
“Do you want to go on a date with me?"
Hyunjin feels like his heart may burst out of his chest with the way it is beating.
Warmth fills him and he is sure his body won't be able to handle such intense emotions.
"I'd love to. I'd really, really love to.”
Hyunjin's smile is uncontained, he knows, but he can't help it. The love of his life just asked him out on a date, how can Hyunjin contain his happiness?
"How would you feel about going now?”
"Going where?”
Hyunjin is a little confused and a lot distracted because Changbin is staring into his very soul.
“On a date."
"Now?"
"Yep."
"Like, right now?"
“Uh-huh.”
“Yes! Please, yes!’’
Hyunjin's exclamation has a few people turning around to see what the commotion is all about. Hyunjin completely ignores them. More focused on the full smile Changbin gives him.
"Shall we?" Changbin asks, offering his hand for Hyunjin to take.
As Hyunjin entwines their fingers, he feels a full body shiver, an excitement right down to his bones.
Changbin's hand is warm and soft and everything Hyunjin has ever wanted.
As they make their way out of the house, Hyunjin casts his eyes around, looking for a sight of Jisung.
He finds his worst best friend in the kitchen, eyes wide as he tries- and fails miserably- to deal with the fact that his crush is right in front of him, apparently talking to him.
Hyunjin's eyes widen but a smirk pulls at his lips when Jisung’s almost terrified eyes lock with his.
His look is screaming save me but Hyunjin does not forget easily.
So, with his free hand, he first flips him the bird and then throws him a thumbs up and leaves him to his fate.
Revenge tastes so, so sweet but what taste even sweeter are Changbin's lips when he kisses Hyunjin at the end of their first of many dates.