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“Sher- Sherlock!” John struggles out. He can’t breathe. He’s in the middle of a park in the middle of London in the middle of a perfectly lovely summer day and he can’t breathe.
And it’s not the air pollution.
”Watson! Watson, I’m right here. You must breathe.” Sherlock said patiently in a soft tone he only uses with John.
“It’s- I can’t breathe! I can’t- I can’t-“ John cried, curling into a ball while his bad leg still hung limply over the bench, “it’s- it’s not- it’s not clean- our- the air- the- our- our lungs-“ He tried to convince Sherlock desperately, gasping for air. He was shaking like a leaf and hot tears burned down his cheeks.
”Watson, there is nothing wrong with the air. You are in London, you are safe. We are ok, there is no war around us,” Sherlock repeated in his typical monotone but it was still oddly comforting.
John didn’t seem to be calming down, “no- it’s dirty!”
”What is dirty, Watson?” Sherlock questioned.
”M-me!” John finally broke down into sobs, “I’m dirty. My mind. My-my hands- my air!
I can’t breathe and it’s not the city’s fault.”
Sherlock didn’t quite know how to respond to this, “Watson… would you like a hug?” He asked hesitantly.
”But- y-you don’t like dirty things. Y-you can’t touch them and then some-something else,” John blubbered.
”Well I love you so, this disproves the theory in which you are ‘dirty’. You are not dirty, John. You are traumatized. But you are kind and caring and brilliant and delightful and humorous,” Sherlock said softly, hugging John in just the perfect way.
”But I’m… jiggly and I’m broken and I’m emotional and I don’t even have a proper job,” John continued to cry, now leaning on Sherlock.
”John, you are soft and disabled and emotionally vulnerable and an invaluable asset to the podcast,” Sherlock continues to soothe.
John abruptly looked up. His face was scrunched up and his braid had fly away hairs everywhere and his cheeks were tear stained, eyes and nose puffy and red.
Sherlock still thought he looked undeniably adorable.
”Sherlock… why did you…?” John started.
”Comfort you? Because I care about you deeply and your well being. I think you are a wonder of a human being and I appreciate your existence on this earth, John,” Sherlock replied simply, although sincerely.
John chuckles a bit and rubs the tears from his eyes. He’s still shaking significantly and his breathing isn’t yet evened out, he’d probably be in an odd phase of dissociation and hyper awareness for the rest of the afternoon/evening, no doubt with night terrors waiting to plague him. All the normal after an attack.
John looked at Sherlock, eyes twinkling a bit, “I mean… thank you but. Mate… I was wondering why you called me ‘John’ three times.”
Sherlock paused for a moment, “…huh. I suppose I did. Does that bother you, Watson? I can refrain from doing it again,” he offered.
John quickly shook his head, “no- no- I don’t mind mate, not at all. Whatever you like,” he said and sighed, biting his lip and looking away, “when you said you loved me… what did…?” John started.
Sherlock responded immediately, seemingly less confused by John pointing out that Sherlock said he loved him than by pointing out that Sherlock called John by his first name, “I do love you, Watson. Was I… incorrect in saying this? My sincerest apologies if I over stepped-“ he explained himself.
”No- Sherlock-“ John grumbled and pulled Sherlock into a kiss. It was soft and sweet and warm and oh so good, entirely to quick, before Watson pulled away.
Sherlock looked at John in shock, “ah… thank you, Watson. I enjoyed that. I hope we can do it again sometime.”
John laughed and nodded, “yeah mate… anytime you want.”
Sherlock thought for a moment before speaking again, “would you like to head back to the flat and engage in deep pressure physical stimulation therapy by cuddling with each other while we drink tea and watch that horrible show ‘Dr Who’ to aid you in self regulation? I would also not be opposed to the benefits of this for myself,” the detective proposed.
John smiled softly and kissed Sherlock’s nose gently (and oh my- did that make Sherlock blush-?) “yeah Sherlock. I would love too.”