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Rain is a fascinating thing.
Whenever it rains, people complain. People get upset, uncomfortable, even inexplicably irritable. Yet at the same time, it could be refreshing, liberating, even fun for others.
Rain is a lot like tears. They can be uncomfortable or something people don't like to see, don't like to feel, but they can also be freeing in a way that no warm sunshine could ever match. Like tears, rain is uncontrollable and indiscriminate. When the emotions are felt, the tears come forth.
I like to think that when it rains, the sky is crying. For itself, for someone on earth, maybe for all of humanity, the sky opens its heart and cries its sorrowful, liberating tears.
Perhaps, today, those tears are for me.
“Did you even graduate high school, girl?! I ordered these eggs to be moderately cooked, and you brought me this overcooked mess!”
The unhappy customer is an older woman who comes to the Breakfast Brothers restaurant often. Usually, my coworker Levy handles her, but Levy was out sick today. The rain seemed to be doing a number on everyone today. Levy was the second employee to call in sick, and every customer so far had been in a sour mood.
“I'm so sorry, Ma'am, I can ask that your eggs be redone-”
“ Redone?! These eggs are too done! I've lost my appetite!” The woman gets up, grabbing her bag to leave.
I panic. She hasn't paid for the food and coffee she's already eaten. “Ma'am, I'm very sorry about the eggs, but you at least need to pay for the things you've eaten-”
“How dare you! Levy would never demand anything of me. She's a professional of customer service, unlike you. You messed up my eggs, and ruined my mood. You don't deserve any of my money.”
“But Ma'am-”
“Is something the matter, Miss Wentworth?”
Both I and the lady turn to face my manager, Felix, one of the two brothers who owned the restaurant. Felix is kind, but strict. Unfortunately, I’m not his greatest employee, as customers never seemed to like me.
My stomach sinks when he appears.
“This incompetent brat took down my order incorrectly and then demanded I pay for my food when I rightfully was upset when it came to me!” Miss Wentworth exclaimed, sticking her nose up haughtily.
“I'm so sorry to hear that. Levy is usually the waitress who helps you, but she's out sick today. April is unfamiliar with your specific tastes, so she got it wrong. Can we make it up to you by replacing the dish on the house?” Felix remains calm and polite despite the woman's behavior.
Miss Wentworth seems a little pleased by Felix’s explanation. “Hmm.. I suppose so. But I never wish to see this incompetent excuse for a waitress again. Just the sight of her irritates me,” she said, waving her hand in a shooing motion towards me.
“Of course,” Felix replies with a smile. I stare at him incredulously, but he shoots me a warning look that tells me all I need to know.
As Felix guides Miss Wentworth back to her seat, I dejectedly make my way to the break room.
“God damn, you're back here again?” An irritating voice sneers when I open the break room door. Hugo, another employee of the restaurant, is changing into his uniform to start his shift. “This is the fourth time this week, and it's only Thursday. That's like, fuckin’ once a day. If you're not fired today, I'm gonna-”
“Quit it, Hugo,” I snap. I'm usually not so direct, but I don't want the inevitable to be rubbed in my face. “No one asked.”
“No wonder no one likes you,” he scoffs. “You're single as fuck, too, aren't you? No love, no family, no job-”
“Hugo, your shift started two minutes ago,” Felix says coolly when he enters the room, but his voice alone is enough to make Hugo shut up.
“Sorry, Felix,” Hugo mumbles, shooting me a glare before hurrying out to the floor.
Now it's just me and Felix.
Felix sighs heavily. “This is getting old, April. I'm not sure what it is, but you can’t seem to be able to handle customers properly.”
“It's not that, it's-” I try to explain, but Felix silences me with a look.
“It doesn't matter the reason. What matters is that it's hurting the restaurant's ability to serve customers properly. This is the fourth time this week you've had an incident with a customer, not to mention last week's. We even stopped giving you rush hours to avoid problems.” Felix uses a hand to wipe his brow. I can tell this isn't easy for him, which only makes it hurt more. “I'm sorry, April, but Logan and I don't think we can keep you as an employee anymore. We'll pay you your final full paycheck on schedule, with pay for the rest of your usual hours for next week, but that's it.”
I stare at Felix blankly. “You're… you're firing me?” I knew this was coming, I've known it for a while. I still couldn't process it was happening.
Felix tries to not look too guilty, shrugging. “I'm sorry, April. We really tried our best. You can leave the uniform in your locker, and we'll bring the final paycheck to your apartment, alright?”
I smile thinly, biting back everything I want to say. “Okay.”
Felix smiles shallowly at me, then leaves the room without so much as an ‘it was a pleasure having you on the team.’
I guess I was just that bad.
I change into my own clothing: a white button down, a pair of jeans, and a gray sweatshirt with a yellow smiley face patch on the breast which I thrifted recently. It's all the cover I have to stay dry, because my umbrella broke on the way to work. I grab my bag, and leave my uniform in the locker like Felix instructed.
From the break room, I exit out the back door of the restaurant into the alley. I don't want to be seen by anyone inside, because they'll know what happened. I walk around to the building to the street, a busy intersection with noise only magnified by the echoing sound of rain. I keep my head down, focusing on the sidewalk as I head back to my apartment.
That was the second job I'd lost this week. The first was at a fast food chain, where I defended a customer who was being harassed and then got fired after being accused of hitting the offender, who'd tried to hit me. Not to mention last week, when I accidentally set the fryer on fire. I still have a third job at a convenience store, but the pay isn't enough to cover my rent and other expenses alone.
The sky cries for me, letting its tears fall everywhere, unhindered and free. I wish I were the same, unhindered and free. I rub my arms, knowing that I never will be completely free. I'll always be a prisoner of a higher power.
Something suddenly rams into me. I snap out of my trance when a man yells at me. “Watch where you're going, asshole!” He shouts, glaring at me from under his umbrella. I feel the stares of other pedestrians’ curiosity and judgment. I want to say sorry, but my words are drowned out by exclamations of surprise when a car drives close to the curb, sending a wave of dirty water crashing onto the sidewalk. Most people dodge the water or use their umbrellas to protect themselves. I'm unable to do either.
I shiver, wind chilling my now soaked clothes. I smell like dirt and gasoline. I want to cry.
I run into the nearest alley, avoiding the eyes of onlookers. I hide behind a garbage dumpster, ignoring the sour smell of mold and decay as I crouch against the wall with my knees to my chest. Rain continues to fall, helping to drown out the sounds of my sobs.
More than just the lack of money, I felt dejected and abandoned. I felt like I wasn't worth anything to anyone, just a tool to be used and discarded. It's how my family treated me, how my employers treated me, how everyone seemed to treat me. The only one who'd ever cared was gone, died in order for me to live. My other half, my twin brother.
A part of me had died with him.
Would it be so bad if I went to find him? If I vanished from this stupid, hateful world? It's not like anyone would care, no one cared about me beyond what I offered as a benefit. Matthew died so that I could live, but I wasn't living. I was as alive as a robot. What's the point of being alive if there's nothing to live for?
“Mew.”
I lift my head up in surprise when I hear an unfamiliar noise. I look around the dark alley, seeing nothing. Did I imagine it?
“Mew,” it sounds again. From in front of me. I look down, and a black house cat is sitting, watching me intently.
It isn't just any house cat. It's a shapeshifter. I can see the magical aura around it. Why was a shapeshifter approaching me?
“Can I help you?” I ask in a raspy, nasally voice.
The cat leans down and nudges something towards me. It's a small sushi platter, unopened.
I blink, surprised. “Where did this come from?”
The cat gives me a look. ‘Thats not a nice thing to ask about a gift,’ I hear it say.
I can't help but crack a smile. “… Thank you.” I pick up the sushi and look at it. It’s the kind I like, with lots of avocado and white rice. I look at the cat, wondering how it knew what I liked. “Have you been stalking me?”
The cat looks away guiltily. ‘She’s smart.’
I can't help but smile. “I can tell you're a shifter. If you've been watching me, you'd know I'm a witch. I know my way around magic.”
The cat looks at me cautiously, before it shifts into the form of a young boy who sits cross-legged in front of me. His jet black hair and dark gray hoodie are soaked from the rain.
“Is that your real form?” I ask, and the boy doesn't answer. He just looks at me, and then turns back into a black cat.
I stare back at it, confused, and it looks at me like I'm dumb.
“... Oh, are you saying we're similar?” I finally put some guesses together. “Are you an unlucky orphan? And you're sympathizing?”
The cat nods its head.
For some reason, I feel like it's not telling the truth, but I really don't care. I'm far more occupied with the fact that someone did care about me, even if it was out of sympathy. “Do you have a home?” I ask.
The cat doesn't answer.
“... Then… Would you like to stay with me?”
“Mew!” The cat stands up, brushing its wet fur against my shins.
I smile, a real and genuine smile. I gently pet the cat's small head, and a warm glow fills my heart when I hear the cat purring with satisfaction. Finally, someone who is happy to be around me.
“Do you have a name?” I ask it, and it looks up at me blankly.
I guess it either doesn't have one or doesn't want to tell me its name. I feel a little cheated that I knew nothing about this shapeshifter and he seemed to know a lot about me. I had an urge to tease him in retaliation. “Fine, then. Don't tell me. But it's too awkward talking to you like you're a ghost.”
I rise to my feet, meeting the little cat's expectant golden eyes. “I think I'll call you…” A memory flashed through my mind, a feeling that this cat had rekindled in me. “Mew. I'll call you Mew,” I say, earning a look of disapproval. “Hey, you didn't give me an answer, so you don't get to judge my choice,” I retort playfully.
Despite the cat's oddness, he helped me remember something. I can almost hear the familiar voice speaking in the back of my mind. “Life is not about trying to weather the storm, but learning to dance in the rain.”
“Mew?” Mew looks up at me quizzically.
I said that out loud. “Ah, it's nothing,” I sheepishly shake my head. “Just something someone important said to me once.”
I ignore the way Mew looks at me with an almost suspicious look, and I step out of the shadows of the alley. I turn my face to the sky, feeling the raindrops hit my face.
As if feeling the joy in my heart, the tears of heaven cease. Puddles litter the street and sidewalk, but the rain is over, and small streams of sunlight start to sneak between cracks in the clouds.
The walls of darkness surrounding my heart were beginning to crack, and joy was finding its way inside.
When all the tears have been shed, all that remains is emptiness. Emptiness that can be filled.
I wish to fill it with this joy.
“Come on, Mew. Let's go home.”