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Everyone knew that Porco, your best friend, was in love with you.
Everyone except you.
It was obvious to anyone who observed how he behaved around you. Porco isn’t exactly the warmest and most welcoming person, but with you, he’s different. It’s as if the rough edges disappear to show a softer and more tender side of him.
He wished he could tell you. He’s been waiting for the right moment but it never seemed to happen. Pieck scolded him, telling him that there’s no such thing as the right moment, but he was too afraid. It didn’t help that you’ve been dating Eren for a few months.
However, when you asked him if you could come over that night to talk about something important, he thought that maybe it was a sign.
Unfortunately for him, you were heartbroken because Eren decided to end things with you to work things out with his ex-girlfriend, Mikasa.
So, there he was, letting you cry into his white t-shirt as he wrapped an arm around you. You came to his place that night with tears running down your cheeks, and he quickly pulled you into a hug that made you feel safe and loved for the first time that day. He then ordered your favourite pizza and took out an ice bucket with a few cans of beer in it.
After that, he listened. Of course, he was jealous listening to you talk about a man you loved, but he listened anyway. He always put your wants and needs above his—whether you were aware of it or not.
“What’s wrong with me?” you asked after finishing another can of beer. You’ve lost count of how many cans you’ve consumed.
Porco chewed on his slice of pizza, his brows furrowed in confusion. “What are you talking about?”
“Pock, is there something wrong with me? Why do I always fall for guys like Eren? Guys who are not over their exes, or guys who dump me and then end up marrying their next significant other. Am I a test trial or something?”
He scoffed at your choice of words as he finished his pizza. “You’re not a test trial. You’re not some kind of app.”
“Then why did Eren say he loved me, only to leave me to try again with his ex?”
“I did warn you about him.”
“You warn me about every guy I date.”
“That’s because I’ve seen too many guys like Eren who broke your heart. It’s like we’re repeating the same scene over and over again—only with different names. You’ve said it yourself about falling for guys like that. Why do you keep doing that to yourself?”
You didn’t answer, knowing that there was some truth in Porco’s words. How many times has this scene played itself out?
You looked down at your fingers, your face heating up. “Because,” you said in a soft voice, taking a gulp before continuing. “I thought that maybe if I loved them hard enough, they’d see that I’m enough. I tried so hard with Eren. I tried to show him, even though I could tell he still had feelings for Mikasa. Maybe I’m not enough.”
A sob left your lips, and Porco immediately moved to kneel in front of you, holding your hand in his. His hazel eyes had a soft gaze, and you felt yourself getting lost in it.
“You are enough. You are more than enough. You didn’t do anything wrong. Eren was the one who couldn’t figure out what he wanted.”
You sniffled softly and wiped your tears away with the back of your hand. “I loved him, Pock.”
“He clearly didn’t love you the way you thought he did. He doesn’t deserve your love.”
“Then who?”
It took everything in him to stop himself from yelling, “ME!” and how his heart ached for you—to show you that he could love you the way you deserved to be loved. He wanted to show you that you were enough for him and how he was better than Eren and all the others.
Instead, he kept quiet. He couldn’t risk ruining his friendship with you. He did not know what he could do to make you see him as more than a friend, and he knew that he couldn’t force you.
But what he could do was be there for you. So, he held you close as you sobbed. He whispered words of comfort in an attempt to calm you down. You always get emotional when you drink, so he knew he had to be the level-headed one, which was ironic considering you were always the one who had to calm him down.
Porco could sense that you were getting tired. He glanced at the clock and realised that it was too late for you to drive home.
“Here, go to the bathroom in my room and get yourself cleaned up. There’s a spare toothbrush—don’t worry it’s new—and a clean towel there. You’re staying the night.”
“But Pock—”
He shook his head. “No buts, except your butt going to the bathroom. Now go, I’ll find something for you to wear.”
Knowing that you were in no condition to argue with him, you accepted his offer and entered the bathroom, closing the door behind you. Porco heard the shower running as he searched his closet for a t-shirt and a pair of pyjama shorts, which he laid down on his bed for you to see. After about 20 minutes, you emerged from his bedroom wearing his clothes, and he tried hard not to stare.
“C’mon, let’s get you to bed,” he said, leading you back into his bedroom.
“I can sleep on the couch.”
“Absolutely not. You take my bed, and I can sleep on the couch.”
“Pock—”
“We can argue about this all night, or you can just let me tuck you in.”
A yawn confirmed your answer, and he chuckled softly. “I thought so. C’mon.”
You crashed on top of his bed, your eyes fluttering shut as Porco pulled the blanket over you. He looked at you and smiled, gently stroking your cheek, when you started to mumble his name.
“Pock?”
“Yeah?”
“Maybe…” you yawned, shifting slightly into a more comfortable position.
“Mhm?”
“Maybe… you belong with me.”
Porco felt his face heat up, his eyes growing wide at your words. He was about to ask you what you meant, but your soft snores stopped him. You were totally out.
Could it be the alcohol talking? He tried to figure out what just happened. Did this mean you’ve had feelings for him all along? He wished he could just wake you up to get his answer. But as he watched you sleep, he decided that he’d just wait.
Careful not to make too much noise, he grabbed a towel, shirt, and a pair of shorts, left the room, and made his way to the guest bathroom down the hall. As he was brushing his teeth, he replayed your words over and over again in his head.
Maybe you’ll tell him one day. Hell, maybe you won’t tell him at all. But just hearing those words from you was enough to soothe his heart for now.