Work Text:
"But what if Changbin's love for you were to suddenly end?"
"I couldn't keep living."
Hyunjin's words kept ringing inside Changbin's mind as he tossed and turned his bed, trying to sleep. All he could think of was Hyunjin. Hyunjin who he had fell in love with at first sight. Hyunjin who was always hanging around him. Hyunjin who was so beautiful both inside and out that Changbin couldn't believe he was real.
They had filmed their 2 kids show episode with Lee Know as MC and had talked about their relationship in way that they had never talked in front of cameras before. They let stay know they were always together. They let stay know the differences between their relationship off camera and on camera. They let stay know about how close they were.
They even said things they never really said out loud to each other.. Like what Hyunjin said.
The thoughts of Hyunjin's words consumed Changbin's brain until he finally fell asleep sometime in the morning, only to be rudely awoken from his sleep by Han Jisung, a few hours later.
"SEO CHANGBIN WAKE UP WE'RE ALREADY LATE!" He screamed in Changbin's ears, causing him to jolt up.
Jisung giggled.
"You idiot squirrel!" Changbin cried, rubbing his eyes.
"Wakey wakey! Come on, you have 15 minutes till we leave for schedule."
"What schedule?" Changbin asked, yawning.
Jisung shook his head.
"We're filming the last episodes for 2 kids show!" Jisung reminded him.
"Oh right."
Suddenly, the thoughts that had kept him awake last night started creeping up in his mind. He shook his head and dragged himself to the bathroom.
♡
"First, we'll shoot the episode with Bang Chan and I.N, then the one with Lee Know and Han."
Changbin nodded and made his way towards the MC chair.
He started with the intro to Chan and Jeongin's episode and soon all thoughts of Hyunjin were replaced by the duo he was with. Once they were done filming, Changbin's stylist came over to fix his makeup.
"Now, remember Lee Know and Han's episode will be the last episode to broadcast." The director reminded him and he nodded, again.
His manager came over with his phone, telling him it had been blowing up with notifications. He checked his phone and saw messages from Hyunjin. Biting his lip, he opened the chat.
Hyuni 🩷 3:15 PM
Binniiiiiie
Hyung!
Where are yooooouuuuu?
Changbin Hyung!!
I wanna hang out :(
Hyuuuuuuunnnnnnnnngggggg
Stop ignoring meeeee
CHANGBIN HYUNG
Fine, I'll hang out with Sungie! 😤
Changbin smiled at his silly friend who seemed to have forgotten about his schedule. He was about to type out a message when his phone buzzed again.
Hyuni 🩷 4:10 PM
I have been informed by Channie Hyung that you are filming the 2 kids show episodes..
But we can hang out after, right?
Changbin 4:11 PM
Of course, we can.
I'm about to shoot the last one with Minho Hyung and Jisung.
You can plan our date ❤️
Hyuni 🩷 4:12 PM
Date? 🤢
Let me know when you're done.
Changbin 4:12 PM
👍
"Changbin Ssi, we're about to start."
Changbin put down his phone and started organizing his cue cards.
To say he was exhausted after the last episode filming would be an understatement. Minho and Jisung wouldn't let him catch a break with their teasing. He loved them but they were absolute menaces when they came together. He smiled as he thought of the contrast between the shy and sweet way they interacted with each other and the way they interacted with him or any of the other members.
He thought of what Jisung had said. "As I kept listening to the song, I kept being reminded of Lee Know." It was a love song, obviously written for his boyfriend. Changbin envied their relationship. They had fallen for each other and had been inseparable since day one while he had been silently pining for Hyunjin the whole time. He had tried getting over him. He had even tried giving Felix a chance. But he was too helplessly in love with Hwang Hyunjin.
Changbin's feelings had calmed down after all these years. He still loved Hyunjin. It still hurt that it was one-sided but it didn't make him feel like he couldn't breathe anymore. He was happy just to see Hyunjin smile. But Hyunjin's words yesterday had been driving Changbin crazy.
He took out his phone to text Hyunjin that he was done with the filming. He wondered if he should confess. He had tried to before but had always shied away at the last moment, too scared it would ruin what they had. He wondered if he should try, now.
Suddenly, his phone rang and he saw Hyunjin's name over it.
"Hey Hyung, where are you?" Hyunjin asked. He sounded excited.
"Heading out, now."
"Okay.. Do you want to go out? I understand if you're too tired, though, no pressure! It's just that Jisung was bragging about this new restaurant near our dorms where he went with his Minho Hyung so I thought maybe could try it.."
"Okay, we can."
"Really? You're not too tired?"
"No, Hyuni. I'll be there in 10 and then we can go."
"Alright, I'm waiting! See you!"
"See you." Changbin said and hung up, smiling at Hyunjin's cuteness.
He wanted to go to a restaurant Minho and Jisung had gone on a date. With Changbin. Changbin's heartbeat rang in his ears as he got into the car.
"Jisung kept going on and on about how delicious their food is. He even showed me some pictures." Hyunjin explained as the waiter took them to their table.
Changbin thanked the waiter as they settled down.
"When did they even take out the time to go out?" Changbin asked.
Hyunjin shrugged.
"You know them. Always hanging out as soon as there's a free day. It was after the filming, yesterday."
Changbin nodded. His mind shifted back towards his and Hyunjin's 2 Kids Show episode. He contemplated asking if what he'd said was true or just for the cameras.
"Ooh they have different sorts of cuisines!" Hyunjin explained as he scanned the restaurant's menu.
"What would you like, Binnie Hyung?"
"You can order whatever you like, Hyuni." Changbin replied.
He noticed that Hyunjin was little more dressed up than usual. Maybe he had been out beforehand? Changbin kept staring at Hyunjin as he ordered their food. Soon, he was staring back at Changbin and raised his eyebrows. Changbin blinked and looked away.
"How was filming, today? Anything interesting happen?" He asked.
Changbin shrugged.
"Chan and Innie were cute. Minho Hyung and Jisung made me feel like a thirdwheel. Nothing new."
Hyunjin giggled.
"You know.. I'm kind of jealous of their relationship." Hyunjin almost whispered.
"Huh? Why?" Changbin asked.
"I don't know, they just.. They found their soulmates in each other so easily. They get each other, they're like.. perfect for each other. Meanwhile, I'm still here trying to.. I guess look for that? I mean who wouldn't want a relationship like that, right?"
Changbin felt a pang in his chest.
"R-right." He answered as the waiter arrived with their food. They finished their food silently and made their way back to the dorms.
"Hyung?" Hyunjin said, as they entered the dorm.
"Hmm?"
"Did I say something wrong?"
"Huh? No, no, I'm just really tired." Changbin replied, feeling bad for ignoring Hyunjin throughout the dinner.
Hyunjin lightly slapped his arm.
"I told you we don't have to go if you're tired!" He scolded.
Changbin smiled and poked Hyunjin's cheek.
"How could I not go when my Hyunjinnie asked so cutely, hmm?" He said, flustering Hyunjin.
"Whatever." Hyunjin huffed and pulled away from Changbin. "Rest well, Binnie!" he said as he walked to his room.
"You too!"
As he laid in his bed after washing up, all he could think about was Hyunjin. He let Hyunjin's face and words consume his thoughts as he drifted off to sleep.
♡
It was a free day. Which meant he'd either stay at the dorms or go out. He did not want to go out but he also did not want to be alone with Hyunjin so he was praying Chan would stay home because he knew Jisung and Minho would probably be on a date, again.
"Hey Bin! Good morning!" Chan Hyung said, as Changbin walked into the kitchen where his dormmates sat.
"Morning, what's up?" Changbin replied, taking a seat next to Jisung on the kitchen table, avoiding Hyunjin's questioning eyes.
"Our Channie Hyung is making us lunch!" Jisung replied, speaking cutely.
Chan rolled his eyes.
"More like these rascals pleaded with me to make breakfast and blackmailed me by saying they hadn't had good homecooked food in forever."
Changbin giggled. "Well, it is true, Hyungie."
He glanced towards Hyunjin who was blankly staring at Changbin.
Changbin looked away and bit his lip. Should he try? He cannot keep avoiding Hyunjin for so long and he cannot keep on living not knowing how Hyunjin feels about him.
"What are you all upto today?" Chan Hyung asked.
"Minho and I aee going out to watch a play. We'll probably have dinner, too." Jisung replied excitedly.
Everyone smiled at the adorable boy and Changbin ruffled his hair.
"Nothing unusual." Hyunjin teased.
Jisung stuck his tongue out.
"Well, I'm also going out with a bunch of friends. What about you, Hyunjin-ah?" Chan asked.
"Er.. I don't have any plans yet. I'll probably stay home."
Changbin frowned. He had two options. Either stay at the dorm where Hyunjin is and keep on pining for him forever. Or.. Or he could ask him out. He could give this a chance. But what if he got rejected? What if Hyunjin started despising him? How could he live if Hyunjin's love for him were to end? He-
"Bin?" His thoughts were interrupted by Chan.
He looked up. All eyes were on him. Hyunjin's face was blank, Jisung was frowning, Chan had his eyebrows raised.
"Uh.. Sorry, I got zoned out. Um. I don't know, I just woke up, Hyung. I'll make plans later."
Chan nodded and went back to silently cooking.
Changbin couldn't help but look at Hyunjin whose expression was so blank, it started to irritate him.
Soon, Chan brought the lunch to the table and they dug in.
"Channie Hyung is the best cook ever!" Jisung exclaimed, cheeks full of food.
"Don't let Minho hear that." Chan teased.
"Channie Hyung is the second best cook!" Jisung corrected, making everyone else laugh.
After lunch was done, Minho came over to pick up his boyfriend and Chan also left to hang out with his friends.
Only he and Hyunjin were left at the dorms. This was it. His chance to confess his feelings.
He nervously knocked on Hyunjin's door.
Hyunjin appeared in front of him, a paintbrush on his ear, shirt stained with paint, and another paintbrush in his hand. Changbin smiled.
"Oh, Hyung? Why are you knocking, weirdo? Just come in." He said, going back inside and placing his paintbrush in a mug full of paintbrushes.
"What's up?"
"Oh um.. Well, you see.. I.."
Changbin took a deep breath.
"Hyung.. Is everything alright? I felt like.. like you've been avoiding me." Hyunjin asked in a small voice.
"I'm sorry, Hyunjin. I shouldn't have done that. I was just.. I'm confused."
"Confused?"
"You.. you said something."
"I said something? What did I say, Hyung? Did I say something that upset you?" Hyunjin asked, worriedly.
"No! I just.." Okay, I'm really doing this. Changbin thought to himself.
"When we recorded the two kid's show, you said you couldn't keep living if my love for you were to suddenly end."
Hyunjin's face reddened.
"I haven't been able to stop thinking about that. About what you meant by that. I am so confused, Hyunjin."
"Hyung, I-"
"Please let me finish, Hyunnie." Changbin interrupted, taking Hyunjin's hand in his and giving it a squeeze.
Hyunjin nodded, staring at their hands.
"It's just.. I have had these feelings. Romantic feelings. For you. Forever."
Hyunjin's eyes widened.
"But I never said anything because I never thought you would reciprocate. But.. When you said that, it gave me a bit of hope. But then you said you were still looking for someone. You confuse me, Hyunjin. So here I am. Telling you what I have been keeping inside me for six years."
Changbin paused and took a deep breath.
"I love you. I'm in love with you. I don't expect you to say it back or anything, I just.. I just wanted to tell you? Give myself a chance. So yeah, I love you."
Hyunjin's lips started wobbling and tears started rolling down his cheeks. Changbin had never felt worse in his entire life. He immediately regretted everything he said.
"I'm so sorry, Hyunjin. I didn't want to make you cry, I just thought- I'm sorry, I don't want to lose you. We can just pretend this never happened. Nothing needs to change. I'm really sor-"
Changbin's rambling was interrupted by a pair of lips on his own.
His brain short-circuited. Hyunjin was kissing him?
Hyunjin broke the kiss and wrapped his arms around Changbin, wetting his shoulders with his tears.
"You.. you idiot!" He sobbed.
Changbin wrapped his arms around Hyunjin and started rubbing his back to comfort him.
"You're confusing me even more, Hwang Hyunjin."
"Why are you so dense? I said I couldn't live without your love! You idiot! Of course, I'm in love with you!"
Changbin's hand stilled. Hyunjin loved him. He could not believe it. It felt like a fever dream.
"I have loved you for so long, Hyung! But I was too shy to make the first move. I just hoped you'd do it! But all you did was flirt and I.. I thought maybe you didn't love me like that. Maybe, it was just joke-flirting."
He pulled away from Changbin and wiped his tears.
"Then you started avoiding me after the filming! And I thought you.. I thought you figured out how stupidly in love with you I am! And you were disgusted by it."
"Hyunnie.. I would never be disgusted by you. I'm sorry I took so long to tell you how much I love you." Changbin said, grabbing Hyunjin's face in his hands.
"I love you." He repeated, wiping Hyunjin's tears.
Hyunjin giggled.
"I love you, too."
Changbin smiled and suddenly he couldn't control himself.
He leaned in and pulled Hyunjin into a kiss. It was a short and soft one, filled with love.
He broke the kiss to kiss Hyunjin's cheeks, then nose, then forehead, slowly his entire face.
Hyunjin giggled. "H-hyung!" His whole face was red.
"Ahhh, I can't believe you're mine, Hwang Hyunjin!" Changbin yelled.
"Wow, okay. Tell the entire building." Hyunjin replied, rubbing his ears.
"I would tell the entire world if I could, baby."
Hyunjin lightly slapped his arm.
"Are we.. I mean.. Do you want to be my.. um.. boyfriend?" Hyunjin asked, biting his lips.
"Of course, baby." Changbin replied, taking Hyunjin's hands in his.
"I love you." Changbin repeated, making Hyunjin blush. "I love you, I love you, I love you."
"Hyung, stop!" Hyunjin whined.
"Never! I will never stop loving you, Jinnie-yah." He said, pulling Hyunjin into another kiss.
"And Hyunjin.." Changbin said in between the kisses.
"Hmm?"
"I don't think I would be able to live either. If your love for me were to suddenly end."