Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It had been ten years. Ten long years on the dirtball known as planet Earth. Zim had been sitting in the lab, tinkering with his new machine to destroy Dib once and for all. That was until he got an alert that the Tallest were giving him a call. 

Him? A call? From his Tallest? He raised an invisible brow and commanded the computer to answer the call. The Almighty Tallest Red and Purple appeared on the screen, looking serious. 

“My Tallest! I see you called the amazing Zim! Don’t worry about my progress in my mission, I’m making this laser panda to destroy that stupid URTHHHH BOY! Then he’ll finally be out of my way-”

“Look, Zim, I’ve had enough of lying to you-”

“Yeah! It’s stupid and dumb to keep it from you any longer,” spat out Purple as he bit into a doughnut.

“Keep what from me, My Tallest?” he asked with worry in his eyes.

Red groaned, “Your mission! It was all a lie! We thought you would’ve gotten it by the first week you were there! Irk, you’re more dumb than we thought!”

“And stupid! Very stupid, Zim!” said Purple.

The small Irken just stood there, staring desperately at the two taller, hoping it was all a cruel joke, “You must be mistaken, My Tallest! I-I will prove to you I can be a good Invader-”

“Okay, I’m done trying!  YOU’RE NO LONGER AN INVADER, ZIM. YOU NEVER WERE."

“I-I don’t understand, My Tallest, I’ve been doing the best I can in trying to conquer this planet!”

Red snarled, “Do you not remember the last time you were on Irk? For your EXISTENCE EVALUATION. You are a DEFECTIVE. A Defective can’t be an Invader!”

Zim trembled, “D-Defective? My Tallest I’ll have you know Zim is no Defect.”

“You know what, Zim? We’re done. You’re prohibited from ever coming to Irk again.”

“Bye, ZIM.”   said both of the Tallest before they closed the transmission.

He continued to stand there, staring at the screen for days. He hadn't bothered Dib in days, which was probably making the human suspicious.

Dib, that ratchet stink-boy, Zim thought. He was so annoying, yet not. He seemed to be the most intelligent of his kind (which was surprising; it seemed like no one in the human race was smart).

Dib also was not the most… ugly creature ever. He doesn’t have gross bumps of grease fluids on his face or rotting teeth. His smile was a nice extra, too, since it was rare that he smiled in actual happiness.

“No! Stop thinking of that DISGUSTING creature!” The alien gritted his teeth and went into a deeper part of his lab. 

Sitting on his chair, he looked down and thought about the previous events. His eyes watered and he growled in anger.

“ZIM IS NOT WEAK! I will not cry… I won’t-” he got cut off by a tear falling down his face. Tired, he slowly closed his eyes and went into resting mode, something he’d never done before.

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“Zim?” said a familiar voice. He looked over to see Dib, sitting on the couch beside Zim.

Too close, the alien thought. He looked over to the human, taking in every feature: his brown eyes, black greasy hair with that infamous pointed psyche. He must’ve noticed Zim’s staring because the human turned and smirked, “Like something you see, space boy?”

Blushing profusely, he stuttered quickly, “N-NO! I was just seeing how ugly you are!”

As those words spilled out, Dib’s smirk grew, “I don’t know about that, Zim…” The human was closer now, and Zim could feel his breath ghost on his lips. 

“D-Dib, what are you-” the alien was cut off as a pair of lips met his. His eyes widened. What was the Earth boy doing?! And why did it feel… right? The Irken found himself melting into the kiss, controlled mostly by his pheromones.

Zim could feel the human’s tongue prodding at his lips, salvia burning his flesh-

.

.

.

The Irken jolted out of resting mode, panting heavily. He stared at the big screen ahead of him, scared and confused about what he had just envisioned. 

“Computer! Explain to me what had just happened!” Zim commanded.

Groaning, the Computer did as it was told, “What you have just experienced is called a “dream”. Dreams are vivid imaginations, sometimes reflecting on past events and feelings, or just random.”

“I-Irkens don’t dream! YOU LIE!” Zim shouted frantically. This was all so weird and not normal!

With a cough, the Computer continued, “Well actually, it’s well-known that Defective Irkens are the only ones capable of dreaming.”

Blinking rapidly, the alien bit back, “ZIM IS NO DEFECTIVE! But, eh, why do Defects, WHICH ARE NOT ZIM, dream?”

“Well, this is because, in Ancient Irk times, sleeping would be seen as a weakness, which is one of the many reasons the PAK was invented. Dreaming is one of the many signs one can be Defective,” explained the Computer.

He was no Defective. He was going to fix this.

Chapter Text

After hours of Zim running a dozen scans on his PAK (only for it to find nothing wrong with him), he decided to check in on Gir.

I can never trust that robot, Zim thought as he stepped into the elevator. Arriving on the main floor, he saw Gir watching some show on the television. 

“Heya, MASTER! This is my favorite show! You should watch it with me!” said Gir, smiling.

Walking over to the crumb-filled couch, he sat beside Gir and stared at the screen. How does he sit through such a horrendous show?

The Irken sat and blankly bored his eyes onto the television screen, barely paying attention. His mind wandered off to his previous night's vision.

Then he thought, Dib… NO! How many times did he have to avoid these awful thoughts before his PAK finally got the memo?!

But… It felt… nice for him to think of the Dib. Also wrong! So horribly wrong. What was going to happen if he saw Dib? Would he act all mushy around him? What would he say? Do? What goes on from here? What if things get worse? What if he feels like this for eternity?

Millions of thoughts raced inside the green alien’s head when he realized he’d been breathing heavily, his chest tight. He’d never felt like this before. What was happening to him? 

It took enough time before Gir looked over at him, “Mastah? Are you okay?”

When the robot got no answer, Gir hopped off the couch and his eyes turned red, “I’ll get someone to help you!” And with that, the robot ran off, leaving Zim tightly holding onto his tunic for dear life.

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Dib stood up, yawned, shut his laptop, and turned around to lie in bed before he heard a rumbling sound.

“What the…?” he said before a familiar robot came crashing down through his ceiling. “What the fuck?! Gir, it’s three in the morning-”

Gir looked at him with worry in his eyes, “MARY! Mastah needs help! He’s breathin’ real hard and won’t say anything! You gotta help him!”

Dib stared at the robot minion before sighing and throwing on his shoes, “I always have to help that alien, don’t I?”

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“ZIM! I don’t know what’s going on with you, but you better explain yourself… fast?” Dib stopped in the front of the living room before staring at the Irken. He looked terrible.

Dib rushed over and kneeled beside the alien, “Zim, I’m here. Calm down, it’ll be okay, all right?” Dib was so bad at feelings. Was he fucking up? 

Zim made no eye contact but he somehow felt himself gaining control over his body again. They stayed like that for a while before Zim’s heart (or squeedily spooch?) slowed down. 

“Zim, are you going to explain what the hell just happened?! I-I’m worried about you, okay?! Make fun of me all you want, but I-I’ve never seen you like… that before!” Dib said frantically.

The green alien finally glanced at the human before tears started to stream down his face, “I-I don’t know what just happened… I-I just started thinking about you and I started f-freaking out and,” … Why am I even telling him this? And why am I this PATHETIC in front of him?

“Z-Zim, don’t cry, o-okay? I, uh, wait… Thinking of me? Why?” the human looked at the Irken, puzzled.

Zim sat up more and looked right into his eyes, the expression disheveled, “A f-few days ago, I got a call from my Tallest, well, not mine anymore… They said that I was no longer an Invader because I’m a DEFECTIVE. Do you know how horrible that is?! And to make it even worse, they told me I was never an Invader to begin with! T-Then I had a dream of YOU and you put your DISGUSTING HUMAN MOUTH on mine and IT FELT SO RIGHT BUT I HATE IT… but I don’t and I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME!”

Dib stared at Zim like he had two heads, “So… Okay, this is a lot. You never saw that your, I mean, your used-to-be Tallest never really liked you? Like seriously?”

“NO. Dib, you are atrocious at this!” Zim shouted at him, crossing his arms.

Dib sighed, stood up, and approached the smaller, “And you had a dream of me… kissing you?”

Zim looked almost ashamed and looked away from the taller, “Y-yes, I did. I couldn’t control it-”

“Yes, I know you can’t control dreams. No one can. But I just have one question.” He paused and looked at Zim for permission to continue, “Do you… Like me? Like, uh, romantically?” 

The Irken sighed, “I don’t know what I’m feeling. I’ve never felt anything this foreign before. It feels so… disgraceful.”

Dib smiled awkwardly, “You know I like you, uh, that way, too?”

Zim stared, "Y-you do? Is this what ‘lurve’ is? Because if so, I hate it.”

“I can’t really answer that, I’ve never loved anyone before. Or more likely, no one’s ever loved me before. But…” the human paused before he cautiously wrapped his arms around the alien, “I-I’m glad I can bring joy to at least someone, even if it is the world’s most ugliest alien.”

Dib smirked as Zim gasped, “You DARE call me UGLY?! I’ll show you ugly!”

The human laughed as the alien dug his sharp nails into his back, “I’m guessing you’re feeling better?”

At this, Zim froze. He had completely forgotten about his previous breakdown, “Y-yeah, I think I’m feeling fine.”

Breaking the hug, Dib smiled softly and placed his hand on top of Zim’s gloved hand, “Hey, we’ll figure this out together.”

Zim looked up at Dib and for once, gave a genuine smile to Dib, “Yeah. Together.”