Work Text:
Taryn is sitting on one of the benches in front of the hospital, waiting for her to have breakfast at the bakery together, as they came up with last night.
Last night, when things were good.
When they were good.
Mika watches her from a short distance. Taryn hasn't seen her just yet. For a moment, she considers walking the other way. Too pissed to go out for crispy croissants, fresh OJ and fancy coffee. To pretend that she's fine, while she actually feels hurt and betrayed. She knows better though. The only way to get rid of this anger is to face what—or who—caused it, head on.
So she walks up to her, reluctantly but with her chin up high.
"You know that I was actually falling in love with you," she says, making Taryn look up at her, right when she stops in her tracks, five feet away from the bench. "I wasn't just liking you anymore. I was actually falling—"
"Hold on," Taryn stops her mid-sentence, her face instantly clouded with confusion, "What do you mean, was? What's going on?!"
Even more agitated by Taryn's feigned ignorance, Mika sighs heavily. The calming effect of Jules' acupressure has run long off. Looking intently at the girl she thought she knew, at the girl she trusted, she crosses her arms in defiance. "What do you think?"
"I truly don't know!" Taryn exclaims, and then, somewhat quieter, "You're scaring me, though."
"Those fast track procedures," Mika answers, "Why did you give them to me?"
Taryn shrugs, still not understanding. "I dunno. Someone had to do them."
"Yes," Mika nods, "But not me. I could actually have been on Hunt and Shepherd's spinal cord case. A spinal cord severed by a freaking wooden beam, Taryn! But you stopped that. You kept me away from it."
Turning even more towards her, Taryn frowns. "I don't know why y—"
"Schmitt told me," Mika cuts her off, not in the mood for any bullshit. "He wanted to give that impalement to me, but you decided I couldn't have it - I couldn't do it. Without even asking me, without checking if I were up for it. An awesome way to find out how low you think of me, I can tell you!"
"Mika, stop!" Taryn cries out, pleading almost. "Stop, and come here, and listen to me. Please!?"
Mika stares at her, her eyes still spitting fire. Seconds go by without either of them saying another word. But then she takes another deep breath and moves closer to the bench, albeit to sit on the far end of it.
"They are watching me," Taryn breaks their heavy silence, secretly relieved that she's getting a chance to explain, as she knows very well what Mika is talking about. "Bailey, and the other attendings, too. They know we are dating, and they warned me."
This time it's Mika who narrows her eyes. "Warned you how? Half of this hospital is seeing each other!"
Taryn, ignoring Mika's last remark, sits up straight and gives her a stern look. "Do not let me catch you on showing any favoritism!" she says in Bailey's voice, doing a surprisingly good impression of their residency director. Mika can't laugh about it though.
"But I would never ask you to!"
"I know," Taryn nods, "But it's so, so easy to look that way. To be accused of any partiality. And I can't have that, Mika. After everything that happened, everything I went through. I got another chance, but I can't have another strike."
She leans forward to take Mika's hand into her own, but Mika pulls away from her, shaking her head with resolution.
"No," she tells Taryn, "No, that's not... that's not good enough. You don't get to treat me like this because you fear some consequences that don't even have to be there. I don't deserve that."
Taryn opens her mouth to respond, but Mika already goes on.
"Schmitt thought of me. Not you. You only had to agree with him. But you actively told him no. Your need to prove them all wrong ruined my shift, and will ruin my career if you keep doing so."
"You're right." Taryn casts down her eyes in shame. "I'm sorry."
Feeling exhausted all of a sudden, yet also somewhat relieved after speaking her mind, Mika lets herself collapse against the cold steel of the backrest; her gaze on the parking lot in front of her, without actually taking in the uninspiring view of tin and concrete.
"Why didn't you tell me?" she asks, without looking aside, "About the pressure you're struggling with?"
"I-I don't know." Taryn's answer comes out as a shaky gasp. "I just... I didn't want to burden you with it. You've got enough on your plate. And this isn't your problem."
Mika turns back towards her, searching for Taryn's mournful eyes. "Until now."
When Taryn nods again, she makes sure not to look away. "I'm sorry," she says once more, "I really, really am. I should have been honest with you."
Scooching a little towards her, Mika rests her hand on Taryn's shoulder. "You know we're in this together, right?"
Taryn tilts her head. "Are we still?" she asks, almost warily, "As in... present tense... and all?"
"Will you talk to me, from now on?" Mika asks in return.
"Always," Taryn promises, wrapping her arm around the other girl and pulling her close against her - at last. As she buries her nose into Mika's damp hair, she deeply inhales. "Wow, you smell good!"
"I had to take three showers," Mika grumbles, though playfully. "Which you're to blame for. So you'd better make up for it!"
Glad that they made it over their first—and hopefully last—hurdle, Taryn's lips curl into a soft smile. "Yeah? How far do I get with some pains au chocolat, or some warm fresh-from-the-oven cinnamon rolls maybe?"
"Hmm," Mika purrs, smelling the pastries already by just thinking of them, "I'd say pretty far."
However, despite their rumbling stomachs, neither of them make any move to get up. Instead, Mika snuggles even more into Taryn's arms, and Taryn can't think of any reason to let go of her.
Gently pressing a kiss on top of Mika's head, she mumbles, "Hey?"
"What is it?" Mika yawns, this close from falling asleep on a parking lot bench.
Seeing her all cute and drowsy like this only makes Taryn's smile grow wider.
"I don't think low of you. Not at all," she stresses, making sure Mika really hears and believes her. "Unbiased me thinks you're the one to watch."
Mika looks up at her through her lashes. "For real?"
"Yes, for real!" Taryn laughs, before moving her lips closer to Mika's ear. "And just so you know..." she quietly beams, "I'm falling in love with you, too."
... ...