Chapter Text
She loves him instantly.
It seems mad, but she meets him in her mind. Seeing him there isn't the same as seeing him outside herself, all light and shadow, depending only on her eyes. Her mind sees him from all angles, distorted like a dream. She gets a sense of him that she trusts implicitly. Kind, shy, genuine. He will protect her.
She follows him out of the nightmares Envy creates. He is a bright spot, running ahead, calming her with soft words.
She feels Envy's darkness and malice. It drips from the walls, oozes out of every brick the demon creates. Perhaps she could have beaten it on her own, but she would have been darker for it. Colder. Steeped in the poison.
She runs after Cole and feels light.
-
He appears in the war room and she stands between him and their weapons without a thought.
She could come up with a lie, a plausible reason why he would be here--well, maybe not plausible, but something, anything--but her brain just catches on the fact that he's here.
He looks small, crouched on the table, curled in a ball. He promises to be tiny, unnoticed. He wants to help.
"Of course, Cole," she says, and it's out of her mouth without even sparing a glance at her comrades.
When he leaves, they are furious. They act like she's enchanted, like she's been corrupted. A mage and a demon-- the oldest story in the book.
Cullen keeps his hand on the hilt of his sword now, and watches her with weary eyes. He's seen how this ends.
Cassandra chokes on her disgust and disappointment. She says nothing, but looks at Evie with a furious, accusing glare. 'Your foolishness will destroy everything I have fought for,' Evie reads in her eyes.
"He's good," she says to them, but she has no idea how to make them listen.
-
She takes him out in the field. Exploring, fighting, sealing rifts - it seems a better environment for others to relax around him. Or so she hopes.
Besides, there is work to be done.
"The sky cries out, sick tears and a sad song. They're pulled through, like spinning water down a drain. Sinking, screaming. If the rift is in the sky, do they fall to the ground or swim?"
"Bloody frickin hell," Sera says, "This is a joke, right? Please say this is a joke. There is no way you're serious about bringing that... thing." She keeps her bow half-drawn and steps gingerly around Cole, afraid to turn her back to him.
"He's staying," Evie insists bluntly. Anything else she says would go over with Sera about as well as a fart in a chantry. Well, worse... because it's Sera. She'd probably enjoy that.
Cassandra scoffs. "We shall see. You may vouch for him all you like, but he is still a demon. I won't hesitate for a second if he poses a threat."
"Yes," says Cole.
"No," says Evie.
Somehow, she thought this would be easier.
-
Cole appears silently in The Iron Bull's blind spot during a fight, taking out an enemy and nearly having his head taken off by Bull's axe a moment later.
"You can't do that, kid!" Bull grunts, heart pounding.
"I fold the fade, then step through. A silent snap, a stitch sewn through sheets of shimmering silk. Two separate sides pressed together, a path made between."
"Yeah, that's great," Bull huffs. "Freakin' demons."
He continues cleaving another pair of enemies in two, then stops and frowns. "Wait, can you teleport anywhere?"
"Only where I can see," Cole answers, demonstrating by gutting a caster up on the hillside who had been placing fire mines around them with something not quite approximating stealth.
"Huh. Well, that's still pretty useful," Bull mutters. Cole reappears at his side and Bull points at him with his axe. "Just don't try it near me again. Especially not in combat. It's creepy, and I won't be held responsible for any accidental decapitations or maimings that follow."
Cole's puzzled frown is visible under his hat. "Yes. That would be bad. I don't want to lose my head. ...Or my arms. Or my legs."
"Yeah..." says Bull. "Glad we got that out of the way." He hefts his axe and stalks off to clear the rest of the camp with the air of someone shaking off a cold chill.
-
When they take a rest break near a waterfall, Solas approaches Evie with an intrigued expression.
"You are truly comfortable fighting alongside a spirit? I must confess, I am surprised. You did not seem particularly open to the idea of spirits loose in the world when we discussed it before."
"Not spirits in general, just Cole," she says. "I trust him."
"Heavy words. He made that strong of an impression?"
"Yes. He's kind and wants to help. And... it's hard to explain." She hesitates, unsure. "He was in my head, so I know him. I don't know how else to say it. He's good."
Solas frowns, but it's not the blank, confused frown she's expecting. "Hm. Not many would ...experience such insight."
"Meaning?" she asks cautiously.
"Nothing. I merely wish to express my praise that you are choosing your own path. It is a rarer thing than one would believe. You may, in fact, be worth watching."
"Thank you, I think," she says.
Backhanded or not, she thinks that may be the nicest thing Solas has ever said to her.
-
As tense as things are, Cole settles into their rhythm better than she would have expected.
If Cole were anyone else, the amount of animosity directed towards him would have resulted in constant eruptions. But Cole is Cole, and he never snipes back. He stays kind and helpful and everyone's anger eventually just... deflates.
By the third day, the main source of tension is less the fact that he isn't human and more the fact that he keeps appearing randomly and giving everyone heart palpitations. Especially when he tries to be helpful.
Varric panics and drops his rabbit leg into the fire when Cole appears next to him holding the salt he was looking for. Cassandra nearly beheads him when he finds the the tent poles she needed. He tries to give Sera a piece of flint and ends up disappearing for an hour after she shrieks and throws it back at him, as well as a handful of other rocks and a nearby pinecone.
Overall, though, he fades into the background of their group so well that Evie begins to wonder how much of it is his personality and how much is, well... him?
-
When Evie was a child, she was fragile and fair-skinned. They dressed her up like a doll.
Her mother and grandmother would fuss, tying and untying ribbons in her pale hair, debating endlessly which colors suited her complexion best. They called her delicate, ethereal, angelic.
When her magic was discovered, it became strange, unsettling, fade-touched. She heard the cook as she walked past the kitchens-- I always knew there was something wrong with that child.
They packed her bag for the Tower in silence, her plain clothes folded into her suitcase and her dresses draped across her bed. When they were done, her closet was empty. They didn't look at her, but her mother and grandmother both stopped to touch their hands to her dresses as they passed, as though paying respects at a funeral.
The memory springs to mind as she runs her fingers along the gouge an arrow made across the side of her boot. Cole tilts his head.
"Ethereal, immaterial, illusory. The dresses were always false. They put you in a perfect part to play, but you made yourself more, moved on. You are real."
"It's just a boot," she agrees with a sigh.
"Yes. The arrow could have gone through your leg," Cole adds brightly.
She looks over at him and laughs. "You're a strange one," she says with affection, and the corner of his lip turns up just the slightest bit.
-
Before the end of the week, Sera's furious calm cracks. She swears, a flurry of words that Evie can't even parse. They're in the Storm Coast, soggy with rain. A rogue wave catches against the cliffs and sprays them with seafoam and Sera screams and stomps off down the coast.
"Sera, wait--!"
"Thought you were smart," she snarls, "Changing the world and all that rot, toy soldiers all lining up to follow-- But you get a demon and you think it's safe, following you 'round like some shadow and you're just cheery and sunshine like it ain't shit. Friggin daft, that's what--"
The wind whips past, howling through them and drenching them with cold mist. Evie feels salty droplets rolling down her face like tears, and she shouts over the gale, "Sera, wait! Don't leave!"
Sera turns to her and lets out one last roar of frustration. "Who says I'm leaving?" Her lip is a snarl, but the volume is softer. "This'd be easier if I didn't give a toss, but instead you gotta be actual people, 'stead of one of those lady-whatsits with breeches of spun gold using little people as footstools--"
"I...what?" By the tone, Evie feels as if she's being reprimanded, but the words aren't lining up.
Sera glares at her, clenching her jaw. "That thing," she says, her eyes flicking to Cole, "is bloody dangerous, and you're too blind to see it. So someone's gotta stick around and put an arrow through its eye when it tries something, yeah?"
"Sera, he--"
"Don't care. Done talking," she says, stomping off through the sand. "Need to shoot something. You want it to not be that, then we'd better find a sodding bear or something, and quick."
-
In the end, it's Varric who surprises her the most. He's nothing more than a gentle chuckle beside the campfire. "I like him. He's interesting," he says and shrugs.
"That's it? Even if he's a demon?" Evie was expecting far worse, somehow.
"What? You thought it'd be torches and pitchforks across the board? Sorry to disappoint, Snowflake," he says. "I... like to think I'm a decent judge of character, and I think he means well. Not much more you can ask from people."
"Oh," she falters. "Thank you, Varric."
"Where'd the kid run off to, anyway?"
"He wanted to listen to the horses," Evie explains with a soft smile. "I thought I heard him singing to one."
Varric scrubs a hand over his face. "Yep. Terrifying demon, out to kill us while we sleep."
-
Once they finally secure horses for the Inquisition, they pack their bags to leave-- but not fast enough. Evie's cornered by a farmer with sad, desperate eyes and a missing Druffalo and she can't find it in her to say no.
Cassandra huffs and rolls her eyes.
Sera complains loudly the entire hike about boredom and menial labor.
"Can I just go take a nap, and you come find me when you have something for me to hit?" whines Bull.
Solas says nothing, but he says it very loudly.
Even Varric drags his feet at the prospect of crossing a stream and getting his boots wet.
Evie is tempted to give up entirely. She knows, logically, that the Inquisition is bigger than this, that they have responsibilities that are far more important. This is beneath them.
But when she imagines looking into the farmer's hopeful face and telling him no, she failed, she stopped looking, she doesn't have time for this - it feels like a kick to the stomach.
Her companions might think she's weak for not walking away, but she wants to do this. She needs to. She needs something small, something that makes sense, that she can fix instead of this giant, looming hole in the sky.
She avoids looking anyone in the eye and swallows her urge to apologize. She does most of the work herding the mulish creature back herself, hoping to feel no more indebted for their patience than necessary.
When she returns it to the enclosure, she shakes the farmer's hand roughly, embarrassed, wanting to be on her way as quickly as possible. As she walks away though, Cole says. "I'm glad we did that," with such earnestness she can't help but turn and stop to look at him.
"...Me, too," she replies softly, and she could hug him for the simple contentment on his face. She feels a weight lift as she returns his dopey grin.
"Yeah, yeah, we're nice people. Three cheers. Very touching," says Sera.
"He will no doubt spread a good word about the Inquisition at least," Cassandra agrees magnanimously.
"If he knows what's good for him, he'll fix his fence after this," grumbles Varric.
Evie keeps her eyes on Cole. His face is turned up for once, eyes obscured only by his fringe and not his hat. His soft smile shines like sunshine. His opinion is the one that matters, she thinks, and feels the weight of something bigger lurking just around the corner of her mind.
"...Is anyone else craving steaks?" Bull asks, and the moment passes with a collective groan.
-
They meet Blackwall in the forest, training farmers. He's respectful and grizzly and wants to save the fuckin' world, but she can't ignore the feeling that there's something off about him.
Why is he the only Warden who hasn't disappeared? Why hasn't he heard anything about where they all went? And why is he here in the woods, playing swords with farmers, when innocent people are dying to demons just a day's march away?
She watches him across the campsite that evening, tearing the grass around her absently. Funny, Bull comes right out and says he's a Ben-Hassrath spy and she trusts him, but Blackwall is a Grey Warden, a selfless warrior who will give his life to save others from darkspawn, and hearing him joke about his heroic exploits by the fire gives her a cold chill.
Cole appears from the shadows to her right and she relaxes. Cole would know, she thinks.
Before she can even ask, Cole says, "He made mistakes in the past. Did bad things. He's trying to do better. He can't undo what he's done, but he can try, can help. He wants to be better."
"Is he a danger to us?" she asks.
"If he was, I would kill him," he says simply.
She doesn't how to respond. She hesitates, and Cole is gone.
-
They return to Haven after a week away and she runs into Cullen next to the requisition officer while she's trying to get Cole some tougher armor (as well as a new pair of boots for herself).
She expects it to be awkward, but Cullen just claps him on the shoulder and asks, "Who's the new recruit?"
She falters, then looks to Cole, who is suddenly very interested in a loose thread on his sleeve.
"I... I'll explain in the war room. It would be easier to give my report to everyone at the same time," she says, trailing off blankly.
Cullen looks skeptical, but shrugs and heads into the keep.
"Cole, why didn't Cullen remember you?" she asks cautiously.
"Right, sorry," he says. "I won't do that with the ones you talk to. It would get confusing." He looks away and fidgets a moment longer before disappearing awkwardly.
She has a sinking feeling that has nothing to do with her impending conversation with Cullen.
Before she leaves, she turns back to the requisition officer and asks her to order a vial of Antivan ink. It's a stupid idea, she knows, but it's better than doing nothing.
-
Cullen isn't thrilled, and becomes progressively less so as she explains it all to him. Cassandra is furious, having never forgotten in the first place. Josephine is flustered, frightened. "Are you saying... a demon altered my mind?" she asks.
Leliana says nothing, her face a blank mask. Evie wonders if she ever forgot in the first place.
She has no idea of what to say to make this better, but she tries anyway. "It wasn't malicious, he wasn't trying to hurt you. He's just... shy."
"Do you even hear what you are saying?!" Cassandra asks, slashing out with her arm like a sword.
"I think it would be best if you left," Cullen says calmly. "We need to discuss this."
So with dread in her stomach, she does.
-
She rushes to find Cole, searching everywhere before he appears behind her.
"Yes?" he asks.
"You're safe," she says, turning, breathless. "Promise me you'll stay safe. You won't let anyone hurt you."
"...Yes," he says, but looks confused. "Did you want me to make them forget after all?"
"No, no-- that won't help, not really. Not for long. I--" she flounders, not sure what she's trying to say. "I want you to be safe here. I want you to stay, I want them to know you and trust you like I do-- I think they will, if they just get to know you. But right now--"
"You think they might hurt me," he says calmly, and her heart clenches.
"Yes. No. I don't know," she mutters. "This is crazy." Could she keep him a secret? No-- that would never work long term. Leliana had to have written things down already. If he hid, they would hunt him. They knew too much about him already, he could only face them honestly or leave.
She doesn't want him to be alone. She doesn't want him to leave.
"You're upset. Your thoughts are fast and loud," he says, and raises his hand jerkily, like he might reach for her, but he pulls away and tugs on his glove instead.
She lets out a long breath. "Let's leave. Just for a bit. You, me, Varric... Bull, maybe. Let's just get away for a while," she says.
"Would that help?"
"For now," she hedges. She knows she's running away, but...
She won't let him get hurt. He's there because of her. She has to protect him. She makes a promise to herself.
No matter what.