Chapter Text
This place is a fucking mess.
The construction of the hotel was complete, but despite this, wreckage still remained around the perimeter. And apparently, Lucifer was supposed to help clean it up. He normally wouldn’t have any issue with this – after all, he used to clean up Charlie’s messes all the time, and would consider himself to be relatively helpful – but this was different.
Whose bright idea was it to partner me with Smiley here?
Were they out of their mind? Did they undergo some sort of brain damage in the fight with the Exorcists? Even just looking at the red-cloaked deer man gave Lucifer a headache. And now, having to partner with him?
“Let’s just get this over with,” Lucifer muttered to himself, refusing to make eye contact with his “cleaning buddy” when he looked over.
“Is something wrong, Your Majesty?” Alastor’s radio static hummed. Normally this would be a polite question, but Alastor’s tone was lowkey snarky.
“Are you mocking me?” Lucifer huffed, bending over to gather some remnants of the previous hotel, destroyed by Adam’s angelic powers. Maybe if he stalled long enough, Alastor would leave and he could do this on his own.
“I wouldn’t dream of it!” The red demon replied condescendingly, his face still fixed in its smiling state. That same, god-awful smiling state. The annoying bitch.
“Good to hear.” Lucifer stated gruffly, rolling his eyes. A brief moment of silence enshrouded the area, which Lucifer was more than okay with. He took this as an opportunity to scour the area. It was surprisingly clean, or, as clean as an acre in Hell could be. The Exorcist bodies were taken care of, which was one benefit of having the cannibals and cannibalettes join the fight. The only remaining wreckage in the area were a few large hunks of wall that Angel and Husk were unable to take care of while they were out the day before.
“How about you take care of that one–” Lucifer told Alastor, pointing to a pile of wreckage opposite to the one he decided to tackle on his own– “And I’ll take that one. Sounds like a plan?”
So I don’t have to be anywhere remotely near you, Lucifer’s subconscious couldn’t help but add.
“Don’t you think my pile is a bit smaller than yours? Perhaps we could divide the work more evenly and I could do the bigger one.”
“Excuse me? I thought you would want the smaller one for reasons which I figured would be self-explanatory,” Lucifer narrowed his eyes at the deer, placing one hand on his hip, “but I could state them if you wish.”
Their debockelry went on for a few more minutes before the two went their separate ways – Lucifer to the bigger pile and Alastor to the smaller one, as Lucifer had originally intended.
Serves his ass right.
…………
Alastor went to work almost immediately. In full honesty, he didn’t mind the king doing the larger pile. Though, getting on his nerves was something he could take pride in, so he does it anyways. Snapping his fingers, a construction crew of sorts began tearing down the chunks of what used to be a wall and throwing them through a portal to who knows where. He caught Lucifer staring at him from his pile, opposite to the other. Slightly annoyed, Alastor waggled his finger at the king in a purposely sassy hello. He could practically see the other roll his eyes and return to work.
“Having trouble there~?” Alastor’s radio voice echoed through the air. The even tinier form of Lucifer in the distance placed his hands on his hips.
“Absolutely not,” the king called back, his voice radiating annoyance. “Do you need my help? Is that why you ask? Do you think I can’t do this on my own?”
This man rambles too much, Alastor sighed silently, not proper etiquette for the king of Hell.
“I was just wondering~!” Alastor called back, making a point to enrage Lucifer even further by waving three black tentacles at him as though mocking the other. Lucifer returned to his work, Alastor could tell, properly annoyed, making him smile.
It wasn’t that Alastor hated the king. It was always fun to mock the other and get a proper response instead of the other shaking in fear or running away. For the first time in years, someone could hold a conversation with him instead of submitting immediately. It was fun, if anything, to banter with the king. Rosie had argued that it would be better to be on Lucifer’s good side in case anything bad happened where he needed help, but Alastor had just shrugged it off. In what scenario would he need help anyways?
In a matter of minutes, the pile of debris was gone. All that remained was a minor indent in the ground, one in which Alastor didn’t have the heart to smooth over. Besides, it was outside. It would be a different story if other sinners actually looked there.
“Thank you, my minions,” Alastor laughed, snapping his fingers as the hefty figures dissipated like smoke. “Always a pleasure.”
He thought about heading back to the hotel, but he knew Charlie or Vaggie would send him back to go and help Lucifer. Whatever good mood he had been in previously vanished, and he sighed. Better go help that fuckhead. His form turned to a black fog, vanishing into the ground and reappearing directly behind the fuckhead in question, who was too busy hauling chunks of the debris into a portal to purgatory. Alastor stood silently and watched the short man take the job with ease – something Alastor found strangely admirable. He hadn’t expected this from the same king who was fighting with him moments before, but maybe he had misjudged his character.
“Just a bit more,” Lucifer muttered to himself, to which Alastor’s sensitive ears picked up very easily. “C’mon Luci. Then you can go back to the hotel.”
“What? Is our king struggling with a task as simple as this?” Alastor decided to pipe up, taking his staff and planting its base into the ground beside him. Lucifer spun around, his expression contorted in annoyance.
“Why the hell are you here?”
“Waiting for you, of course!” Alastor maintained his grin, meeting the king’s frustrated look with amusement.
“Well, you can go back. I’d rather have you out of my hair anyways.” Lucifer turned back to the noticeably smaller pile of debris, picking up a few stray bits that had crumbled away.
“Nonsense! It seems you might need some help, hmm?” Alastor teased, finding Lucifer’s exaggerated reactions more than hilarious.
“Can you shut up?”
“As you wish, my good lord~”
Alastor proceeded to stand there, eyeing Lucifer’s every movement, until he was finished.