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CatNap opened his eyes, only to be met with a dark void. Completely pitch black. He looked around for any sign of light, a sign of anything, but all he could see was his black and purple shirt, black jeans, and jean chains. Oddly, he could make out everything perfectly, so his surroundings weren't dark because of a lack of light. He quickly deducted that he must be dreaming.
Before he could even further his thought, he felt a tug on his pants. He looked to his left to see a little DogDay. He looked exactly how CatNap remembered when they first met. Both were 8 years old.
He and DogDay had a little staring contest. CatNap didn't feel like speaking to him. Whether in real life or a dream. He turned to try to walk away, maybe find a way out of this black void, but little DogDay hugged his leg.
"Wait..." He said softly in his high pitched voice. "Just wait a second, I know it doesn't matter to you... you dont care..." The hurt and desperation in his voice made CatNap stop to look back at the dog. When he looked down at DogDay, the spaniel looked up at him.
"But please... listen?"
CatNap doesn't know why. He didn't want to. He didn't care what DogDay had to say. He just wanted to be left alone. Still, he let the dog continue as he unwrapped his arms from around the tallers leg, and started twiddling his fingers. It was an action that CatNap quickly realized was his way to cope when anxious while they were younger.
"Ever since I first saw you I was committed to being someone to you... guess I over did it.." He let out a sad chuckle. "I put my heart in your hands for you to watch.... and now it's broken.." His voice progressively got quieter.
CatNap, in defense, growled at the dog. "Leave me alone, DogDay." He didn't want to be around the dog. He hated the guilt tripping. The love bombing. The fake love that the dog so easily claimed was authentic.
Or, that's what CatNap thinks, anyway.
Little DogDay turned away from CatNap in shame. "You're right..." He spoke in what CatNap recognized as DogDay's current voice, while they're both adults. Next thing he knew, he blinked and current day DogDay was turning around to face him, wearing a white t-shirt with a sun on it, and blue jeans. "I guess I really should just go... I never did know... how to please you. It hurts. You look right through me like I'm nothing to you..." He stated honestly.
CatNap was taken aback. DogDay doesn't usually just oblige and leave. It's always a fight trying to get the dog to leave him alone when they see each other recently. That's why CatNap hasn't spoken to the dog in weeks.
"But you're right, I should get going." The dog's big eyes were clouded with disappointment and hurt. "I just want to know how you feel..."
CatNap started to feel guilty. He hated it. He thought he was passed this. He's not in the wrong DogDay doesn't love him like he says. It's all fake. He knows it. Loves always fake.
His parents showed him that.
He crouched down, covering his head and shutting his eyes tight. "Get out of my head!" He yelled to himself. He needed to get out of here. "Wake up CatNap, it's just a dream." He whispered to himself, hoping to slip himself out of his own mind.
He felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see DogDay smiling at him. "Genuinely". It made CatNap feel sick. His stomach turned.
"You said to treat you with care..." DogDay started. "Common sense, right? But you said it with such a desperate expression... So I tried my hardest to make you feel the care that I had for you, my complete adoration of you... only for you to leave me alone so easily.."
He's right. CatNap did say that. All the way back when he was younger. When they first met. Did he really remember that one-off desperate line? That pitiful sentence? That made CatNap feel even sicker. No, this is just a dream, right? Real life DogDay couldn't actually care less. CatNap won't let him guilt him into feeling—
"I know your not sorry...." CatNap's eyes widened. So, now dream DogDay can read his mind, too? Is his own mind out to get him? DogDay took his hand off of CatNap's shoulder. "Why should you be? It's my own fault for loving someone who's love clearly was never for me..." His voice had an unsteadiness to it. His lip wobbled as he looked down at the bottomless void below them.
"Why would you love pathetic me?" His voice cracked as the words left his mouth. Tears welled in his eyes, and they quickly fell down his cheeks and onto the invisible floor they stood on.
The hurt and betrayal in his eyes, the pain in his voice, the tears rolling down the dog's cheeks, it all made CatNap realize.
DogDay really did love him. Actually cared. And what did CatNap repay him with when he showed it?
Ignored messages.
Declined phone calls.
Hostile interactions when the words "I love you" were muttered.
God, he felt like the worst person on earth now. The guilt hit him ten times harder than it did before. He couldn't just label DogDay's words as guilt trips and love bombs anymore. They were his honest feelings. He was a person with feelings and everytime he tried to convey them CatNap would just accuse him of lying.
"DogDay..."
DogDay stood up and turned away. "No, you're right. I should just...go." He sniffled, wiping the tears off of his own face. CatNap stood up as well. "Wait, no, DogDay—"
"I guess I'll never learn how to please you. Continue looking through me. I know I'm nothing to you..."
"No, wait, DogDay that's not true!"
"It is CatNap." He turned back to the purple cat, who now had his own tears pooling in his eyes, they they didn't dare to fall. "And that's okay. I'm fine with that." He gave a sweet smile to the cat. It made the situation all the more bitter. He walked closer to the cat. "I just always wonder how you feel..."
He put a hand to the cat's chest. "Do you even.... feel...?" He asked. His voice was still unsteady.
"Yes! Yes, I do, DogDay" He exclaimes as he put his hand's over DogDay's to pull it closer to his chest, to prove the existence of his heart. He didn't know why he did it.
But he was devastated when he did. Not one heartbeat. He looked down at his chest to see it wasn't even expanding. It felt like minutes went by and still, nothing. His heart wasn't beating.
He looked up at DogDay to see the dog staring back into his eyes. Into his soul.
" Anything?"
CatNap awoke roughly, immediately shooting up into a sitting position as he opened his eyes and gasped for air. He took a few deep breaths before he calmed down. He'd forgotten it was a dream.
Dream or not though, he made a realization. He can't keep pushing DogDay away because he doesn't know how to accept love.
He turned to his nightstand and grabbed his phone, quickly turning it on an going to his contacts list. He pressed the first name that was listed and put the phone on speaker.
Brrrrr...
Brrrrr....
Brr—
"Hello? CatNap?"
The voice on the other end was groggy, raspy, and clearly tired but CatNap let out a breath of relief. "DogDay, can you come over? Like, now?"
"Its.....3:48am...." It sounded like DogDay sat up in his bed, shuffling the bed sheets and blanket. "What happened? Are you okay?"
"Can you just.... get over here? Please?" CatNap pleaded. He heard a sigh from the other end. "Okay. Anything for you, CatNap." He said. "Just give me some time to actually wake up so I can drive over, I'll be there soon." He said, getting off of his bed and walking outvof his room. CatNap could imagine the dog cutely rubbing his eyes like he always did when he woke up. He could tell the dog wanted to say the thre words, but was scared to because of how horribly it's ended in the past.
So, CatNap said them.
"I love you, DogDay." He said sincerely. He could here a crash from the other end of the call, along with a long tumble, and a loud "Fuck!" being yelled from a distance.
A few seconds later DogDay was back. "What did you just say?" He sounded fully awake now, with a certain excitement that CatNap hasn't heard from him in way too long. CatNap raised an eyebrow. "Did you just...fall down the stairs?"
"Unimportant, what did you just say?" He questioned again. CatNap sighed, though a smile creeped onto his face. "I love you?"
"Say it again."
"I love you."
"Again?"
"I love you."
The dog barked in happiness as the cat heard the keys to his house and car jingle from the other side of the line. "WOOOOO I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE!" He said, before the phone clicked and the line went dead.
The cat hummed in satisfaction. Is this what it felt like to not be so anxious? He felt a weight lifted from his shoulders. The pit in his stomach that he's had for weeks faded so quickly he almost questioned if it was ever there in the first place.
He stood up to go unlock the door for the dog, but only made it a few feet away from his bed before his phone rang again. He walked back over and looked at the screen to see DogDay calling him back. He answered.
"Hello?"
"Can you say it to me again.... just one more time?" He asked. His voice was a lot quieter, as the adrenaline of finally hearing the words from the purple feline wore off. He just wanted to hear it again.
CatNap smiled. "I love you, DogDay."
*small* BONUS!!!
"So," DogDay sat down on the bed. His hair was a mess, his clothes were clearly haphazardly thrown on. He looked at the cat sitting next to him. "What made you call me over here at 4am? And why have you finally decided to accept my love?" He asked with a curious and slightly confused expression. His smile never left his face though.
"Hm...." CatNap thought back to the dream he woke up from not even half an hour ago. He smiled back at the dog.
"I.... had an epiphany. A wake-up call, if you will."