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Ao3 comments can either be a writer’s best friend or worst enemy. While most comments will range from short encouraging messages to readers excitedly analyzing your writing, I’m sure we’ve all received a comment from someone who thinks they’re a literary critic.
I’m going to let you in on a secret, feedback is completely unavoidable.
Before you chase me with your pitchforks and torches, let me explain. Feedback is a vital part of the writing process. Without it, you’d never be able to figure out what your readers like or what you should change. You’d want to know if you accidentally misrepresented a specific gender identity or that your readers absolutely love how you write their favorite character. The comment section is the place for that!
So if you shouldn’t avoid negative comments, what can you do?
As someone who also struggles with handling negative comments, I will say that the best way to strengthen this skill is by changing your mindset around feedback and writing in general.
So welcome to my three step guide to achieving a healthy mindset about feedback:
Think of your writing as a skill to be improved upon, not something born to you
Handling feedback is a lot easier when you have something called a growth mindset. People with a growth mindset believe that their skills are learned rather than innate, and can therefore be improved.
Writers who believe their skills are stagnant will often have a worse relationship with feedback as they believe any attempts at improvement are futile, but changing your mindset will allow you to approach negative comments in a better way!
Believing your skills are unchangeable might lead you to think that critiques mean that you are a failure, but when you prioritize growth then receiving feedback can become a more positive experience focused on where you can improve! Your writing skills are not stagnant and pursuing growth rather than a perfect product is a worthy goal.
Separate yourself from your works
After spending hours writing, I understand why you might be protective of your fics. Negative comments can be really hard because they feel like an attack against you personally. But while your work might be your baby, it is not you.
These people don’t know you, they only know the pieces you have shared through your writing. When you separate yourself from your writing, you are removing their ability to hurt you. Critiques of your writing will never mean that you are somehow less as a person.
Just ignore mean comments
While negative feedback can be helpful, sometimes people just want to be mean. Whether they’re a bored teen with unrestricted internet access or a bitter adult getting off a long shift, some people just want to spew hate onto others.
It's important to recognize when something is constructive or they are just trying to hurt you. Delete that comment or even block the user. Don’t let someone else ruin what is supposed to be a fun experience!