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Caroline carded her hands through her hair, fighting the tears that blurred her vision. It was her third wedding anniversary—or it would’ve been, if she and Stefan had been given that long together.
She was sipping her third drink of the morning ( it’s 5 o’clock somewhere , she supposed) and looking through photos from their relationship when her phone chimed. She fought a grimace, both grateful so many of her friends cared and wishing they cared a little bit less.
Ignoring whoever texted, Carolina set aside the photo album and picked up her journal. She fidgeted with her pen, the rhythmic thump of it bouncing against the page ringing in her ears.
A tear fell from her eyes, the inked date bleeding.
It’s not fair , she thought, thinking of all her failed love affairs. So many boyfriends had decided she wasn’t an enough. She knew that; she even understood it.
She wouldn’t marry herself either.
But with Stefan? She had finally found The One™. High school Caroline would’ve been overjoyed; she’d wanted Stefan Salvatore from the first moment she saw him, and it hurt her to see him pick Elena all those years ago.
High school Caroline would’ve been devastated to know she would gain him just to lose him the very day she married him, and to Damon, one of the first men who chose someone else.
How many men does she need to lose to accept she isn’t fated for love?
Stefan had loved her more than most, just not enough to choose her over his own demons. Over his own family.
Wasn’t she supposed to be Stefan’s family, though? She had been his fiancé—his wife even, if only for a day.
Her hear tears fell steadily by now; this page probably wouldn’t even be legible after today. Then again, she doesn’t tend to re-read these entries.
Part of her wonders why she never gave up. Some days she believed it made her strong to keep hoping for love, even after everything—after Damon, after Matt, after Tyler. Other days, she believed it made her crazy. The writing on the wall should be clear enough by now. It should’ve been clear enough years ago.
Her body felt dry, cracking and burning from the inside out. The grief over Stefan, over the future that only existed in her dreams anymore, it felt like desiccating, even three years later. Caroline wondered if she would have flipped her humanity switch by now if it weren’t for the girls.
At the thought of the girls, Caroline reminded herself she needed to send Ric a gift to thank him for taking Lizzie and Josie for her today. By tomorrow, she’ll be able to smile and laugh and swallow the sobs that always threatened to burst from her lips. But she couldn’t contain them on her anniversary, the day that reminded her of her doomed love life more than any other each year.
If curses and vampires and werewolves and sirens and psychics existed, it wasn’t exactly a stretch to believe prophecies existed, too. And if destinies and prophecies existed, Caroline’s past love affairs would’ve convinced almost anyone she was fated to be alone. No soulmates for her; no, Caroline Forbes was fated to only ever be someone’s paperweight, not their “epic love”.
Please , Caroline thought, just once, just once let it be me.
Her phone chimed again, and Caroline swiped at her sticky cheeks. She reached for her phone to silence it, but in the moment between when the display turned on and when she moved to activate ‘do not disturb’, another text came through, only it wasn’t Bonnie or Damon or Ric or Elena or anyone she expected. The number wasn’t even saved in her phone.
“ I’d wager you planned to spend today alone, but should you change your mind, you need only ask. No expectations or hidden intentions, I only wish to keep you company if you don’t want to be alone. ”
There was no name to identify the sender, but the message didn’t need one. Caroline knew who it was from.
Her fingers hovered over the screen, frozen. She didn’t want to be alone, not really, she just couldn’t handle any of her normal friends today. Not when they would look at her with pity; not when the pit in her stomach would tell her they were only there because they believed they had to be. She couldn’t handle that today. She wanted them to choose her company, not endure it because it was their ‘duty’. Seeing them today would only further convince her she was fated to be alone.
But she knew she couldn’t tell Klaus yes, either. He might not have expectations or a hidden agenda, but she would feel like she’d betrayed Stefan.
When the Michaelsons lived in Mystic Falls, Caroline and Klaus wouldn’t have worked, despite their mutual interest. She was too young and naïve and unforgiving then; he was too stubborn and vengeful and unwilling to grow. Not to mention all the recent wrongs they had both committed against each other.
They’d both grown since then. Life and children tend to change people: a lot of their previous obstacles had been removed.
Caroline’s soul cried out for a successful love, but anything she started today would fail; she was too emotionally raw. Even if Klaus’ goal eventually succeeded—and her heart told her it would, that she wanted it to, even—she refused to ruin a relationship before it really began by starting it with a need to feel loved rather than a desire to love .
(“ I intend to be your last love, however long it takes, ” he’d told her, years ago now. She’d thought him smug, arrogant, and full of himself at the time—which he was—but the promise had still taken her breath away, especially over the coming months, when Tyler chose vengeance over her, even though Klaus had ceded their grudge—and he’d ceded it for her sake.)
No, she would not accept his offer. Not today.
Caroline Forbes felt doomed to live without any epic love walking next to her. Closing her eyes and tilting her head to the sky, her soul pleaded with whomever controlled her fate.
Please, let it once be me. Just allow me a love that endures. Please.
She read his text again.
“ …I only wish to keep you company if you don’t want to be alone ”
She saved his number.
A seed of hope took root in Caroline Forbes’ heart. Eternity is a long time; perhaps one day Niklaus Mikaelson would prove her fate wasn’t sealed.
Perhaps one day, Caroline Forbes would be chosen first and foremost—chosen above all others.