Chapter Text
2009, April 6th
Anehazuru Passenger Train: Evening
I'd been travelling between trains for hours. Save for a few people, the car I got in was remarkably empty. This was the last train into a city I'd been to only once, ten years ago, and I dreaded remembering it. I liked living in Tokyo, but my fosters didn't like me enough to let me live there another two years. In the end, I just told Children Support that I wanted to live alone for the rest of highschool. 'Alone' was a relative term though. I figured living in a dorm would be alright, so long as I had enough privacy. That was a luxury I didn't have much of, given my circumstances.
The cheapskate MP3 player that blasted music into my ears every day kept me sane. It was one of the only ways I had to enjoy my own company without someone interrupting. Besides, marching to my own beat felt pretty fun. I got up from my seat and stared out the window. The lights of the city were off in the distance, but immediately I recognised it. Mostly because of the unnecessarily large suspension bridge that ran between the island and mainland. The bridge that changed my life.
I felt a gnawing feeling in my chest, and a sudden surge of pain went through my temple. As the chorus of the song played through my headphones, I closed my eyes and massaged the migraine. When it finally started to die down, my eyes opened to see… a butterfly. A bright blue butterfly, following the train. It shouldn't be, this thing must've been going 200 kilometres an hour, but it was flying in place, going the same speed I was. But the terrifying part was the voice. The childlike voice that had been stuck in my head for the longest time.
DROP YOUR MASK. LET IT BURN.
My hands started to shake, and my heart started beating like a drum. I looked down and pressed my thumb and forefinger into my eyes. When I looked back up, it was gone. There was just the city, a bit closer now. Of course it wasn't real. I just forgot to take my damn meds. My bag was full of random crap as always, so it took a minute to actually find the bottle I was rummaging around for. Psyopram, my old friend. I popped a capsule in my mouth and downed it with the last bit of water I had. The next stop was coming up in a few minutes. Iwatodai Station.
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As I stepped off the train, I checked the station's clock. The arms on its face pointed to 11:58 PM, so I managed to get there before the coffins showed up, at least. No matter what medicine my therapists and doctors prescribed to me over the years, no matter how much I got over my issues, the coffins were still there. I'd seen them thousands of times over the past ten odd years. I anticipated them every night, not necessarily because I wanted them to be there, but because they were familiar. Because wherever I went, the coffins always came with me.
I set off for the dorm. The directions were pretty simple, so I was confident I didn't need to check the map. As I started going down the steps, everything went dark, including my music player. Outside looked exactly as I expected. The moon let off a bright green glow, and what looked like blood was pooling around the feet of dozens of coffins.
This was a pretty mundane scene, despite the grisly sight. Paying no mind, I walked across the street, and took a left in front of a pretty nice looking strip mall that I noted down for later. There was a slight breeze billowing my skirt as I walked towards the dorm. It was a bit warm out, so the wind was pretty welcome. Whenever it picked up though, it carried the scent of iron over the air.
The dorm was just a few blocks away from the station. It was a convenient spot, to be sure. It looked about four stories high, and I immediately hoped I'd end up on the third or fourth floor because of the view I could get every day. Little things like that made me happy to wake up in the morning. Once I got to the door, I opened it up to see a spacious lounge area. One I probably wouldn't be using very much, but it was nice either way. I closed the door behind me and took a few steps inside. I took my headphones off.
‘Welcome.’
I heard that voice again. It wasn't in my head this time though. It was just to my left, behind the reception desk.
I looked over, and nothing was there. ‘You're late,’ he says, to my right this time.
Again, I looked over. He was there all right. A fucking phantom glaring at me with his eyes that looked too real, too detailed for the average hallucination I have. His eyes and hair looked just how mine used to look as a kid. And of course he was wearing those same stupid striped pajamas I always imagined him in.
‘Geez, I need to get stronger pills,’ I say under my breath, trying to keep calm. This happened from time to time, me not being able to tell hallucination from reality, conjuring up monsters and things to cope with my past. This kid was one of them. A therapist once described it as an ‘apparition’ that represents the childhood I used to have, or something like that. Seeing him like this, though, that definitely hasn't happened before.
He gestured towards the desk. A blue folder was lying there, not really looking like it belonged. ‘If you wish to proceed, please sign this contract.’ As he spoke, the cover fluttered open on its own, revealing text above a signature line.
I got closer and read the terms aloud. ‘I chose this fate of my own free will?’
‘Don't worry, it's just asking you to take full responsibility for your actions. Y'know, the usual stuff.’ Dismissively waving off the actual meaning of a contract was strange, but it checked out, given my doubts.
This was clearly not really happening, but the contract could very well be real. Just filtered somehow, replacing real world information with a delusion. I've had worse times deciphering these episodes, frankly. It was probably just a document to finalise my paperwork. What was the harm in writing my name down?
I decided to take the pen and print my name on the paper. I really wished that my name was different. Too boyish. That was something I'd be able to change soon enough though.
The folder disappeared in a puff of smoke right after I jotted down the last stroke. When I turned around, the boy had it in his hands. He looked at the inside intently. ‘Good,’ He stated, raising the folder to cover half of his face. ‘Time is something nobody can escape. It delivers us all to the same end. You can't plug your ears, or cover your eyes…’
With a flick of his wrist, it was gone again, straight into thin air. ‘So it begins.’
He disappeared now too, for a final time it seemed. When the smoke cleared, I let out a loud sigh. That was way too melodramatic, even for me. I was going crazy for sure.
'Who's there!?' I heard a shout come from further into the lobby. In front of me, I looked up and saw a person. A living, breathing human girl, not another coffin. And she had a gun strapped to her thigh. 'How are you here…? Don't tell me…'
My heart was racing. I'd never seen a real person at this time of night before so I was completely paralysed. The green light streaming through the windows looked eerie on her skin, not like the pale figure I was imagining just a moment ago. Her hand was slowly inching towards her pistol. Fuck, I had to defuse the situation somehow, right!? 'Woah, hold on a minute!' I tell her, raising my hands to sternum level in a hopeful attempt not to get shot.
Then I saw a figure behind the girl, partially obscured by the darkness. 'Takeba, wait.'
Power flickered back on in the dorm in just a moment, and the music player fed audio through the headphones around my neck. In front of me were two girls, one looking far calmer than the other. She was tall, quite well endowed, and had bright red wavy hair. Frankly, she could pass as a supermodel. The girl that almost tried to kill me was cute too. She had on a pink sweater that brought out the muted tones in her face, and her brown hair curled upwards below her ears.
Takeba loosened her stance and pulled away from her gun. Her attention fell completely onto the woman next to her. My hands fell to my side again.
'Who's she?'
The bombshell redhead looked at me. She scanned my whole body, from head to toe, and told her, ‘I can't say that I know.’ She stepped forward. ‘I'm Mitsuru Kirijo. Apologies for this whole misunderstanding. She must have expected the worst.’
Not a great start, I thought. They believed I was someone else, which unfortunately made perfect sense. ‘Hey, I get it. I came way too late. I should've been here an hour ago,’ I said, setting down my bag.
I could tell they were analysing me. They were expecting someone of my exact age, build and background. A boy that never should've existed. Still, even if my CS agent thought I was in a phase, why the hell didn’t he tell anybody that I had started wearing skirts and putting on makeup? Talk about an awkward thing to explain.
‘My name is Yuuki Makoto. I applied for a room here at the beginning of spring break.’
Kirijo touched her fingers to her chin and chuckled. ‘That's funny. We were expecting a boy named Makoto Yuuki tonight.’
‘You must have us mixed up with the girls’ dorm. This is a coed building,’ Takeba tried to explain to me. Of course I knew that, but they had no clue at all. I sighed and braced myself.
‘No, that's me. Makoto Yuuki. Date of birth 1992, October 30th. I specifically asked to be assigned here.’
They both looked utterly confused.
‘Did you make a mistake on your form? That applicant wasn't supposed to be female.’ Kirijo said, assuming or maybe even hoping that this was just some sort of messup.
‘I only marked the form that way because I had to.’ I’d hoped this headache would've been avoided, but I supposed it would've happened at some point. The only thing I wanted now was to not have my assignment thrown out the night before school started. ‘I applied here because the girls' dorm won't accept me, and I wouldn't fit in at the boys' dorm. I have nowhere else to stay.’
Mitsuru gave a sad glance at me. She was pretty bad at hiding her thoughts, her face gave it all away. ‘I cannot say that I fully understand your situation, but you’re welcome to stay here if you wish. You signed up for a boys’ room, so you'll be living on the second floor. It's the last door on the right.’
‘I can take you there. Follow me.’ Takeba said in a tone of voice that was meant to be reassuring, but came out sounding like pity anyways.
Only one emotion made me feel more upset than pity, and that was animosity. Those little stares and whispers behind your back were enough when people were empathetic or uncaring, but when rumours turned sour and people started hating you? It was fucking miserable. As I grabbed my bag and lugged it over my shoulder, I began to hope that it wouldn't happen here.
We went up to the second floor and to the end of the boys’ hall. ‘Here's your room. Pretty easy to remember, since it's all the way at the end here.’ She was kind of phoning it in, I could hear it in her speech. Handing me the key, she made sure to follow up.
‘Um, do you have any questions?’
I thought for a moment, and went back to that blue folder. ‘What was that contract for?’
‘Contract? What are you talking about?’ She seemed confused, which made sense. She was likely just a resident. She might not have known about every bit of paperwork in the dorm.
‘Don't worry about it,’ I said, stepping towards the door.
My hands were over the knob, ready to unlock it when she felt the need to add another question. ‘Hey, um… can I ask you something? When you were walking here from the station, did you see anything weird?’
I mean, sure, right? That nightly hallucination is pretty strange, but obviously she wasn't referring to that. There was nothing that really came to mind honestly, other than the boy showing up right in front of me. ‘What do you mean?’
‘You know what I—’ She stopped briefly. ‘Nevermind. It seems like you're doing alright.’ She almost left when she told me, ‘I'm sure we have a lot more to talk about, but we should save it for later. Good night!’ And walked off. Finally I was away from those two. I wanted to avoid them as much as possible if I could.
The lock clicked as I turned the key. On the inside was a furnished room, just as advertised. Everything was here, even a pretty big television. There were two windows too. They faced an alley, and it wasn't the third floor or anything, but I could see a bit of the street, so I was satisfied enough. I threw the contents of my duffle bag in the closet and changed into the comfort of one of my nightgowns. I climbed into bed, and waited for sleep to come. I had a big day tomorrow.