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“Kacchan, is this really necessary?”
Katsuki heaves a heavy sigh, righting Izuku’s head once more so he could attempt a good, straight line of charcoal eyeliner on his lids. “For the last time, yes, dumbass. It’s what the people voted for.”
He gestures widely to the camera, smirking at the cute little pout adorning the freckled face. He squishes pudgy cheeks between his fingers to hold his head still, keeping mindful of the bulky headphones on his head.
Eijirou cackles in the background. “I never thought I’d see the day Bakugou agrees to give Deku an e-boy makeover!”
The camera cuts over to the redhead, where he sits safely in his little booth, far enough from the action so he couldn’t be the star of the show – but close enough to be able to provide his unfiltered comedic commentary. He lazes on black-painted fingernails, curtesy of Mina, their social media guru and PR queen.
“Hold the fuck still! You’re gonna look like racoon eyes over there if you keep fucking twitching like you’re tweaked out on crack,” Katsuki berates. Off-screen, you can hear a petulant "Hey!" coming from the pink-haired girl herself.
Izuku sits as painfully still as he can, grumbling slightly under his breath and trying not to fidget too hard with the shiny silver rings Katsuki gifted him. Oh how he wants to open his eyes and peer balefully into those beautiful garnet eyes of his “best friend”.
Best friend on camera, that is. Bed buddy and romantic partner off-camera. Let the fans speculate as much as they want. This is theirs, and no one else can have it! At least, not yet. He must remain on his best behavior until they’re ready to go public.
“There, done. Now show your pretty face to the camera, sweet cheeks.”
Cue the unnecessary zoom-in to Izuku’s face. The fans will love the crooked eyeliner, fake eyebrow and septum piercing, and mussed hair. Izuku can imagine the comments now, especially as Katsuki continues to cup his cheeks in one hand as he keeps Izuku from ducking out of the frame. He can only hide his red face for so long.
Of course, this is what they want. This bit is what’s had them trending for coming on four weeks straight now.
It started innocently enough, he guesses. He and Kacchan have always played with their chemistry on the podcast, because it was funny! They never stated anything out right, saying to the few speculating fans that they were just best friends since childhood and this was their regular dynamic.
It was only recently that they began playing it up, because the fans, new and old, ate that shit up.
On a normal Thursday-night livestream, he and Kacchan were arguing over something stupid. Izuku whined that Kacchan was being mean as the blonde had recalled an embarrassing moment from their childhood and he had hid his red face so quickly that he completely missed the adoring look on his boyfriend’s face. Their audience, of course, noticed it immediately. And the chat went wild.
K00ky_bunbun: omighosh, did you see the way Kat just looked at Izu? GOALS
Daredvl22: and they keep trying to tell us they not dating
Jeremmeee: gay gay gay
Katsuki read the chat and saw the opportunity. He smirked.
“Aw, you’re getting a little flustered, Deku? C’mere.”
Izuku, for all he knew of Katsuki to be a patronizing ass on their podcasts and streams, was a little caught off guard when he was suddenly pulled into a rough hug. “Wait, Kacchan don’t—”
He was cut off because Kacchan had reached over to pull him into his lap. He’d cradled him like a baby for the entire stream to see, smirking all the way. Izuku’s face had rivaled a tomato. Eijirou didn’t seem to know what to do as he watched the whole thing unravel from the background.
“Let me go!” he whisper-screamed, squirming in the blonde’s hold, who responded by only tightening his grip.
L0ve_dku: KATSUKI
Allmightfan100: omfg they’re so fckn cute
Chachochan: they’re so in love
“Look what you did!”
When he had finally wriggled his way out of the blonde’s grasp and back into his chair, Katsuki was completely nonchalant about the whole thing and went about the stream like nothing had happened. He pretended to be unimpressed by the comments, scrolling through them and saying “We’re best friends, you fucks. Where the hell do you keep getting these ideas?”
The next day, the clip was viral on TikTok and had over 3 million likes. The tagline #bakudeku was trending and Katsuki had decided that this was their new bit. Their podcast had raked in over four hundred thousand listeners in just those twenty-nine days alone. Thursday streams went from around twelve hundred viewers to almost two hundred thousand.
Their “not-relationship” had created the peak of their influencer career. Fans loved to see the chemistry between the excited, yappy Deku and his best friend, the smug and shameless Kacchan. Clips of their playful bickering that usually ended with shameless flirting on Katsuki’s side and a flustered Izuku were constantly going viral with thousands of comments either shipping them or straight up claiming to know they were dating.
They were, but they had never confirmed anything. Teasing it was fun as it is.
It was even more fun to pretend Izuku was promiscuous, with snide comments and innuendos thrown into their conversations. He lived for it, and the way it would catch his co-workers and friends off guard. They knew to expect it now, but never knew when.
For example, right now --
"I think you look cute, Deku!" Eijirou says, peering over his little booth to get a better look. "The piercings really suit you."
Katsuki flashes a shark-like grin, "Yeah, Deku. Wanna go get piercings after this? I bet you'd look good with a little belly-ring."
"Oh, I don't think I can handle a piercing. I'm too much of a baby when it comes to pain," Izuku replies. "But I think if I did get one, I'd do a tongue piercing."
Eijirou does a double-take and Katsuki raises his eyebrows in surprise. This is Izuku's favorite part.
Katsuki takes the bait first, though. "Why is that?"
And without a second to spare, Izuku says, "For sucking dick, of course. I'd want one of those tongue rings that vibrates."
He aims his own little smirk at the camera, the cute one that gets him into trouble with a certain blonde sometimes. He hopes Ochaco knows better than to include Katsuki's lustful eyes into the final cut of the podcast. That would probably give too much away.
"Uhm, okay thank you for that insight, Deku." Eijirou coughs, hiding a blush. "I did not know that vibrating tongue rings exist. Wait, how did you know that?"
Izuku's about to play along, when Katsuki cuts in instead with a roll of his eyes. "Okay, I don't care to learn more about the nerd's bedroom escapades any longer. Let's just bring in our guest today. Who is it anyways?"
The camera cuts briefly to Ochaco, one of their production assistants and editors. "It's Shouto. How did you not know? He's been here the entire time!"
"Fuuuuuck, do we have anyone else?"
"Kacchan, be nice!"
"No. All that fucker does is sit here and make eyes at you while you pretend to be oblivious to his flirting, but secretly like it."
It's completely a bit. Shouto is one of their closest friends, and they spend a lot of time off-screen together. One time on the podcast, Shouto made a joke about being Izuku's first kiss (and it having more tongue than he thought it would) and it set Katsuki off, which set the viewers off. The clip titled "Katsuki's Jealous" was their second most viral on TikTok.
"Welcome again, Shouto." Eijirou smiles politely as the camera pans to the man with split-dyed hair. It wasn't ugly, but it was a choice, Katsuki would say.
Shouto takes the open seat next to Izuku and slides his headphones on, adjusting the mic to his liking. He looks coolly between the blonde and freckled men, and scoots slightly closer to Izuku, which makes Katsuki scoff.
"Thanks for having me, again. And for keeping it a secret from Katsuki, so I wouldn't be kicked out as soon as I got here.
"Hi Shouto!" Izuku says, smiling bashfully, "Thanks for being here, I know you've been busy."
The rest of the podcast goes smoothly, without much interruption from their routine flirting. Shouto makes a couple of sly remarks to get a rise out of Katsuki, and for the most part succeeds. It's when they are wrapping up that Katsuki decides to be a menace again.
Shouto's talking about the newest episode of a web-series he's filming. "Yeah, and so we're finalizing the script for the new -- what are you doing?"
The shot expands to show Katsuki making a childish grabby hand motion towards Izuku and whispering something while covering the mic with his hand. Izuku's face is flushed and slightly affronted. For show, of course.
"For the listeners, Katsuki is making grabby hands towards Izuku and... patting his lap? Bro??" Eijirou narrates, smothering a laugh with his hands.
"What? No, I'm not getting in your lap."
"Why the fuck not?" Katsuki tsks, getting up from his seat to grab Izuku by the wrist. Off-camera, Eijirou looks to Shouto in question, who only offers a shrug. This had not been discussed prior to the podcast filming.
Katsuki just tugs Izuku out of his seat and back towards his own, plopping down and pulling the other boy down with him to sit atop his knee. He adjusts his mic to continue as if nothing had happened. "Alright, where were we?"
Shouto coughs into his hand and dutifully ignores the protests of Izuku, also continuing with the podcast. "Oh, right. Anyways, so we're finalizing the script by Friday and starting filming on Monday. From then on I'll be pretty buy until--"
"Wait, no, hold the fuck up!" Eijirou interrupts, "Sorry Shouto, but I can't stand this any longer. Bakubro, what the fuck are you doing?"
Katsuki barely looks up from what he's doing, "What?"
"For those of you who are listening and not watching, Katsuki still has Izuku in his lap and is whispering something quite intimately in his ear." Shouto elaborates, disinterested. "Is something out of the ordinary, Eijirou?"
"Uh, yeah. They're not like this on camera," he says, then realizes his slip up. "Wait no - Ochaco make sure you edit this part out!"
Katsuki just shrugs, propping his chin on Izuku's shoulder. "Relax, Eiji, we're doing this."
"Doing what, bro!"
Except he's too late. Shouto begins to narrate for him as the scene unfolds before their very eyes. And the camera.
"Listeners, Katsuki is now making out with Izuku live on the podcast. I've been instructed to tell you that they have been dating for over a year and that if you have questions to ask them on their livestream on Thursday. Though I can't guarantee you'll get an answer."
The camera cuts to Katsuki, who's mouth is too busy to say anything to their audience. He flips them off instead. Izuku's headphones have been knocked off so he can't hear the fact that the mic absolutely picked up the lewd noise he makes when Katsuki audibly sucks on his tongue.
Eijirou makes a disgusted face, throwing his headphones off and leaning into the mic. "Uh, I guess that's all today, guys? Hope to see you next week."
"And cut!"