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"Doctor, I request that you do not question why I am here and you do not disclose to the captain my whereabouts." Spock said as he had suddenly marched through the medbay doors at pace, sparing not a glance at the doctor. Though tidy and matter-of-fact as ever, he held a manner of urgency about him.
"What in the - Spock! What are you talking about?! I've a routine examination in 20 minutes and I don't have time to waste on-"
"Doctor." Spock fixed Bones with a look which stayed his verbal assault. He then tucked himself quite flatly behind a cupboard which protruded from the internal bulkhead.
Bones threw his hands up in the air and grumbled, "Not even an explanation, fine then!"
Not a moment later, the sliding doors opened once again to reveal an agitated James Kirk, a little out of breath but Bones thought he detected a sparkle in his eye, the kind he had when there was an idea in his head.
"Did Spock come in here?"
"In the corner." Bones pointed over his shoulder with the stylus, going back to his datapad.
Spock quickly stepped out from his hiding place and froze facing Kirk, the two stopped at a distance. Keeping his eyes on Kirk, he spoke. "Doctor McCoy, I fail to see how you could misunderstand my clear instruction not to-"
"What did you really think I was gonna do? Use your logic, Spock."
The captain remained where he was, eyeing his first officer with that glint in his eye.
"So, Spock. Thought you could rely on old Bones to get you out of this did you?"
"Old?" Bones chimed in from the other side of the room.
"I did surmise he might be of some help." Spock said, body poised and sounding unsure of his words.
"Not your best idea, huh?"
"Evidently not." Spock said with a hint of facetiousness.
"Bones, lock the door."
Bones looked up in shock, before rolling his eyes and puffing his cheeks, moving to the door and exclaiming, "Fine! Whatever you two are doing, it better be done in 10 minutes. Some of us have a job to do!"
All the while, Spock had been watching intently for any sign of movement from the captain, and Kirk's eyes were trained on him. The two stood there, like a standoff. Bones watched, curiosity piqued. Everything was still, that is until Kirk moved his foot to step.
All in a moment, the room was suddenly a bustle. Spock leaped over a bed, Jim followed round it, Spock reached the other bulkead, past Bones, skirting the outside towards the door, doubling back when Kirk crossed the room to get there first.
Bones, in the middle of it all, shouted, "What the hell are you two doing?! This isn't a damn playground, it's a hospital!"
Jim was now advancing on a more and more cornered Spock, who had succeeded only in finding himself a small space at the back of the room to retreat to.
"Captain, I would request that you cease this endeavor and that we both return to normal activities immediately."
"Why Spock? You scared you'll let a little of that human emotion slip?" Jim grinned, though it was a clear taunt to draw Spock in.
"Jim. You know there is human in me. Why do you persist to attempt at forcing me to display it?" Spock replied in a more intimate tone.
"Because it's fun." Jim lunged forward, however just as he attempted to grab the vulcan, Spock crouched and slipped underneath his outstretched arms.
Always ready, Jim spun around on the ball of his foot and threw himself after the first officer.
"Gotcha!" He cried as he landed on top of Spock, his weight pushing him prone and keeping him there, on his face.
Spock fought against the heaviness holding him down, and given vulcans' strength, Jim was well near thrown off, but held on, grasping the other's collar as you would a rodeo. Spock said nothing save for the sounds of his struggles.
"So Bones... I've got a little question for you. Have you ever seen a vulcan laugh?" Jim practically grinned in his tone alone, and was met with renewed energy from the vulcan in question.
"Once, actually."
Jim threw a look of alarming question back at Bones.
"It's a long story." Bones replied.
Jim hesitated and then continued, still riding the bull.
"Well, you're about to see it again! Can you guess which vulcan on board this vessel can laugh, and has laughed today, and has been a pain in my ass for days, and incidentally, is insanely tickl-"
"CAPTAIN!" Spock suddenly shouted.
"-ish."
"You're not honestly telling me-"
"Isn't that right, Spock?" Jim put his hands onto Spock's sides below the ribs, and started squeezing up and down his flanks.
Spock shivered, and then went stiff as a board. Mysteriously not a sound had emerged, but the change was definite.
"Uh, Jim? Is he ok?"
"Don't worry, he'll come out of it in a minute." Jim said with certainty and continued pressing all along the vulcan's sides.
Rightly enough, a few second later Spock was shivering again, yet constantly, and a strange humming noise was coming from the floor beneath his head. Jim kept squeezing and the humming came in more sporadic bursts. Bones could see round the side of his head, and from that small view, he saw the corners of the vulcan's mouth were turned up.
"Holy..."
"Wait for it, Bones..." Jim squeezed up and down another time, before suddenly clutching on tightly around Spock's midriff, right over his ribs with both hands and vibrating his fingers firmly over those delicate bones.
"Hah!" Spock squeaked out before burying his face into the floor.
"C'mon Spock... Don't hold out on me!" Jim teased, smiling big as he continued to torture Spock's ribs. Spock was now starting to jitter over the hard floor as if electrocuted, hopping this way and that as the captain's fingers followed his every movement.
"CaHAHptain! DeHEsist immediHAHtely!"
Though the effects of Jim's ministrations were obvious, Spock had thus far managed to contain his reactions to short bursts of movement and sound.
Jim spidered his fingers further down towards Spock's waist and hips. Spock began to wriggle more noticably as the fingers descended. As they landed in the dips of his hips he suddenly and violently curled inwards and finally, broke.
"NOHOhohoho!! Cahahaptaihahain nohohohooo!!"
"Bones - vióla".
The doctor simply looked on with his mouth hanging open.
"E-E-ENOUHOUHOUHOUGH!" Spock appeared unable to fight back, as his body responded in a solely reactive way.
"But Spock, buddy! You love this so much!"
"CAAHAHAHAPTAIHAIHAIN!!!"
"Call me Jim."
"J-JIHIHIHIIIM!!"
"Little louder..."
"JIM!!!"
"Now a little quieter."
"JI- JihihiHIM!"
"Now, touch your toes!"
Spock shook his head hopelessly and melted into laughter as Jim lead a merciless assault all over him.
"Hey Bones, check this."
Jim scratched from top to bottom along the writhing Vulcan's spine, teasing along and to either side, only for his first officer to curl upwards, laughter turning to high giggles.
"Well wouldya look at that." The doctor said, crossing his arms over his chest. "A giggling vulcan. Cute."
"Yeah well if you think that then get over here and help me, he's gonna throw me off!" Jim now battled to stay on as he attempted to squeeze the backs of Spock's thighs.
"Actually, much as I would love to wipe the smile off - or on - that guy's face, I'm going to have to break it up. Before my patient arrives."
Spock nodded his head frantically, unable to hide his smile, a greenish-yellow undeniably covering his cheeks.
"Aw." Jim whined.
His hands came to a gentle stop and over the next thirty seconds Spock's breathing slowed to a much more normal rate. He said nothing, remaining lying down with his eyes closed as if he had perhaps fallen asleep.
There was a moment of hung silence before suddenly -
Spock's hands were on the ground beneath him, pushing up, slowly yet in a way which seemed unstoppable, like a glacier following its course down a valley, and Jim, still perched on his back was brought along with it.
Jim wobbled and tried to find balance, surprise on his face, before a look of realisation hit him and he scrabbled up to his feet and back.
Spock rose, picking himself up to his feet. He stood, dusted himself off and released a controlled exhale. Jim stood wide-eyed until the vulcan turned to face him.
Though his face had been trained back to a more characteristic stoicism, there was no doubt about the cock to his eyebrow, the tightness of his lips, the set of his teeth which gave away his true feeling.
"Captain. You have exactly until I have finished speaking to make your exit- "
Jim did not wait around to hear the rest.