Chapter Text
Two sets of wide eyes are fixated on Akane, and it’s far less comforting and beautiful of a sight than it usually is. The purple of Aoi’s eyes – the rarest color, a hue so rarely found in nature that it’s impossible for one to take their eyes off it – now resembles deep vortexes threatening to suck Akane in. Teru’s eyes that always reminded Akane of the endless clear sky are now icy blue, ready to freeze a room over if they must.
All because of Akane’s confession.
Sure, it was a distinct possibility the two would be less than pleased. They’ve been in love with one version of Akane for so long – Aoi, her whole life; Teru, a substantial amount of his highschool career – that it’s understandable that they’re hesitant to part with him. That the Akane whose heart they, by some miracle, both managed to claim would be gone for good, that he’d be nothing but a memory.
But they could learn to love the new one, could they not? The new Akane will still have the same personality, same memories, same experiences as before. There will still be the same amount of love for the two in the new one’s heart, so why shouldn’t the feeling be mutual?
Maybe Aoi’s not interested in that. And perhaps Teru isn’t, either. They’d refused to date each other, and it’s no secret why. At least, Akane’s assumption of the reason seems to be a pretty sound one.
Teru almost definitely doesn’t like girls, so obviously he couldn’t date Aoi. Aoi simply doesn’t like Teru in that way; but it’s increasingly relevant that she too doesn’t like girls.
Neither of Akane’s partners (probably) like girls. That was never a problem.
At least, it was never a problem until now; now the trustworthy vice president of the student council, the ever-present childhood friend, and the dedicated and loving partner of the two most beautiful people at Kamome Gakuen stands increasingly stiffly in front of them (whose expressions couldn’t be any more cryptic), having just dropped the bomb that maybe, just maybe, Akane might be a girl.
And now Teru and Aoi are staring, and I mean staring at Akane. After he (she? they? Ugh.) just bore (insert relevant pronoun here) heart to them, all they can do is stare!
If they have an issue, they should just come right out and say it. Wouldn’t that be more fair than tugging at Akane’s heartstrings like this!? Rip off the bandaid, as they say.
They should reject Akane right now.
Spare (Akane) the heartbreak of enduring another second.
Just rip off the bandaid.
Let Akane go home and wallow in misery already, because (he/she/they, you decide) can’t handle the freezing vortex for any longer.
Without warning, there’s suddenly two distinct hands (one dainty and soft, the other lanky and calloused) on Akane’s face. Gently cradling it, rubbing… something off the skin. Something… wet? Water? Tears? Is it tears?
When had Akane started crying?
(When will Akane stop?)
“I-I’m… um…” Ah, Ao-chan. How much cuter can a person be? Even when it’s ridden with guilt and shame, her voice is still the most soothing and melodic sound that could ever grace Akane’s ears. How lucky to be able to hear it at its most vulnerable. How unlucky to know the person possessing it can’t bring herself to say the words – to tell Akane how she really feels. She’d been making great strides in that department so it’s upsetting to see a step backwards, but in fairness, anyone would struggle to bring themself to break up with someone who’s currently crying like a little child.
She looks up helplessly at Teru, silently begging him to instead rip off the bandaid. Something in her eyes says that she has something to say that Teru couldn’t possibly communicate in her stead, but it’s not quite ready to come to the surface. Maybe it never will.
Teru’s guilty look isn’t helping matters, either. His face isn’t meant to make such an expression. At least, not to Akane – not anymore. It’s a look of withheld information for the perceived good of whoever it’s aimed at. It’s a bad habit of his, one that Akane’s addressed time and time again to cut out, and one that seemed like it had gone away. But now it’s here, and it’s clear what he’s withholding.
They’re not evil; they care about Akane. At least, they care about the one that was standing in front of them ten minutes ago. They care about the one who, for now, they can pretend to see when they look at the new one. That’s why they’re hesitating. They don’t want to hurt that one’s feelings.
“Stop crying,” Teru manages to spit out, and by the way he immediately grits his teeth it’s clear he didn’t want to start the sentence that way. But it’s out. So he continues. “It’s not– You’re not–” He brushes a hand through his long bangs, slightly exposing his forehead. “Just don’t worry about it. That’s fine. Right, Aoi-san?” It’s forced. That comforting smile is not real, and the attempt at a positive lilt in his voice is less than convincing.
Aoi seems bewildered to be addressed after having just passed the metaphorical conch, but she nods. (Way too quickly to be truthful. It’s way too insistent.) “Yes, it’s fine! We… We’re um…” She’s grabbing at the fabric of her shirt nervously. “We’re proud of you,” She says quietly.
“Yes!” Teru pipes in again, wiping another tear with a bit too much force. He’s being sloppy. He’s nervous. What does he have to be nervous about? “We’re proud that you figured that out. It must have been hard,” His voice falters at the end and his gaze doesn’t quite meet Akane’s eyes.
Akane can’t take this anymore.
“Come on,” Akane’s voice is watery and pathetic as (Surely Akane will know what pronoun would fit here soon, right? Surely… ) peel away from Teru and Aoi’s suffocating presence. “I’m not an idiot,” A gross sniffle. “I can see your faces.”
Aoi and Teru glance at each other, and for a moment it looks like they’re silently accusing one another of something. Like they might not actually be on the same page.
How can they not be on the same page? They both seem just as shocked by this, because when their subtle glares reach each other’s eyes they both widen their eyes in pure confusion.
“What is going on?” Akane asks in utter exhaustion. Hands find their way to grip clumps of brown hair, having to consciously avoid ripping it out.
It takes a bit less time for one of them to finally do it.
Teru’s the first one to rip off the bandaid. He sighs heavily and plunges his hands in his pockets with stiff shoulders. Pale eyes dart around the room desperately, as if in search of an exit less conspicuous than the door. Then blonde hair flops forward as he tilts his head down. As if embarrassed. As if ashamed.
“It’s not at all what you think,” He starts.
“There’s not much else it could be.”
“There is,” He says with force as he peers up at Akane, just as quickly ducking his head back down. “I didn’t expect I’d have to explain it this early. Especially not for this reason. I have to say, you caught me by surprise with this one!” He chuckles at his poor attempt at a joke, but even he clearly doesn’t find any humor in it.
Akane crosses (pronoun!?!?) arms impatiently. “Would you get on with rejecting me already?”
“It’s not…!” Teru huffs. “Maybe if you wouldn’t interrupt me, I’d get to the point faster.” He pokes Akane’s chest.
“Fine. Then get to it.”
Teru straightens his posture and looks up at the ceiling after sparing Aoi a brief, unsure glance. He blows air through his lips and pushes his weight back and forth from his heels to his toes. “I’m just surprised, really. I still… feel the same way about you as I did before. It’s just…” He inhales deeply, raising his shoulders; then exhales, dropping them like they’re bricks. “I’ve been thinking the same thing.”
Akane stares in stupor for a good moment. “You mean you knew that I’m–?”
“No,” He shoves Akane’s shoulder with a look of genuine exasperation. “I wasn’t thinking the same about you. I would’ve told you if I was.”
“I doubt it.”
“Stop.”
“Okay.”
“ Anyway, I was thinking it about–”
“I know,” Aoi suddenly pipes in, sounding even more guilty than the last time she spoke as she takes her turn to rip the bandaid. “You don’t have to say it, Teru-senpai. I know you were thinking it about me,” She twirls a strand of hair with her finger with a pensive look. “I should have guessed you of all people would see right through me, but I still thought I was being discreet enough to avoid it,” She smiles fakely, but still just as beautifully. “I guess we spend too much time together, don’t we Teru-senpai?”
But Teru looks just as gobsmacked as Akane feels right now. He sweats and tilts his head with a tiny smile. “Excuse me?”
Aoi blinks. Teru blinks. Akane would blink too, but can’t, because everything is moving so fast and confusingly that one cannot afford anything but to stare.
“You were going to say that you had a feeling that I’m… That me and Akane-kun…” She widens her eyes for a brief moment and glances at Akane, before looking back down when she doesn’t find what she’s looking for. “...That we’re the same. That’s what you were going to say, right?”
Teru’s eyes dart around the room once again, and that’s the most confused Akane thinks Teru has ever looked. “N-no? Not at all…?” He scratches his cheek. “I didn’t know that either, I was going to say that I was thinking it about myself.”
“What?”
“Yep.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah. Oh.”
“G-guys?” Akane’s heart is going to explode. “I’m not following. What are you talking about and what does it have to do with me? Are you still breaking up with me…!?”
“Nobody’s breaking up with you,” Teru lightly pinches Akane’s arm. “We’re saying that we’re the same.”
“The same as what!?”
And Teru pinches again, much harder.
“T-Teru-senpai…!”
“Ugh! Asshole! You…!” Akane all but shuts down when ( He’s definitely out. She? They? Both? Hmm…) finally makes the connection. “You… You?” Akane points rapidly between the two. “You two? Both of you? The same?”
They both nod slowly with varying degrees of self consciousness. Teru chuckles. “I’m not even completely sure, I’ve just–”
“Ao-chan! Y-you’ve been trans this whole time!? B-but you’ve been a girl since we were kids…! How early did you figure it out!?”
All eyes are on Akane again: Teru’s in annoyance and Aoi’s in pure confusion.
“N-no, that’s not it. I didn’t mean we’re exactly the same, I just meant… I’m in a slightly different situation… I was a girl, but…” Aoi fiddles with strands of purple hair. “...I think Teru-senpai was saying something?”
Akane whips around with wide eyes to face Teru looking a little peeved to be interrupted but also undeniably intrigued by the conversation.
“S-sorry…” But… “ Wait! So you’re a trans girl, Teru? Or are you…? A trans guy? Like… Ao-chan…!? Or!? Not!? Like Ao-chan? Ao- kun? If she’s even named Aoi anymore? Or…!? He? She? He? They?” Akane sits down on the floor with an unceremonious thud. “Nothing makes any sense.”
“You can keep calling me anything you’ve always called me,” Aoi says kindly, crouching down to meet Akane’s eye. “B-but,” Her gaze drifts to the side with a shy smile. “If you want, you can throw in those kinds of terms. Or pronouns. Only if you want.”
“I-I do!” Akane exclaims. “I’ll–!”
Teru kicks Akane’s side less than gently before kneeling on the floor. “You’re not being a very attentive girlfriend, Akane.”
…
Whoa.
Girlfriend… Teru just called (...her? her.) (...or them, Akane supposes it doesn’t really matter.) “girlfriend.”
That feels right. That feels perfect. That feels…
Oh.
Teru giggles as Akane’s face falls when she finally realizes there was an insult attached. “You should’ve seen the look on your face. So funny~”
“Shut up.”
“May I speak now?”
“No, I said to shut up.”
A hand raises threatening to pinch Akane again, and she frantically scoots away. “Okay, okay! I’m sorry!”
Teru smiles contently. “As I was saying, I’m probably more similar to you, but I’m not completely sure. It was hard enough for me to even accept that I liked a–” Teru pauses, “–someone I thought was a man… so something like this seems out of the question. It’s definitely harder to conceal, that’s for certain, haha…”
Akane frowns sympathetically. “Is that the only reason you say you’re not sure?”
Teru blinks in shock, then giggles. “It frustrates me when you read me like that, you know.”
Aoi hums with a hand pressed to her cheek. “I plan on concealing it for some time, too,” He says thoughtfully, “I don’t think I could ever be out to the rest of the school… That doesn’t mean it’s not there, though,” She tilts her head with a small smile. “Maybe you and I can test things out when it’s just the three of us.”
Teru’s eyebrows raise. “Yeah?”
“Yeah!” Akane smacks her hands to the floor with newfound energy. “You don’t have to do anything, as long as you tell us what you are, we’ll see you as that. Right, Ao-chan?”
Aoi nods happily. “Of course!”
Teru blushes. “Then… I suppose I wouldn’t mind if you started seeing me as a girl…” She says, failing to hide her grin as she pulls her knees to her chest, “But only when it’s us. I can’t afford for anyone else to know about this. Definitely don’t bring it up to my brother.”
“For sure,” Akane nods intently, making mental notes. “I don’t mind if people know about me,” She rubs her arm and looks up at the ceiling. “I only really cared about what you two thought. If anyone else has a problem I kind of don’t care… I’ll keep the secret for you two, though…” She can’t help but feel a goofy smile creep onto her face. “I-I still can’t believe this. There’s no way all three of us could be… Are you two joking? You’d better not be joking.”
“Of course not!” Aoi makes a serious face. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while… I probably wouldn’t have brought it up until after graduation had you not said anything.”
“Graduation?”
“When I can actually do something about it.”
“Ah.”
“You can still wear those… What are they called? The ones that… You know?” Teru makes a motion towards her chest that, in Akane’s opinion, is far more illustrative than it needs to be.
But Aoi finds it funny and stifles his giggle with a hand. “You mean a binder? I suppose I can… It’d be hard to get one without making my parents suspicious, though.”
“Deliver it to my house!” Akane exclaims, leaning into Aoi’s space. “In fact, both of you can deliver stuff to my place! Whatever you need!” She grins excitedly and retracts from Aoi’s bubble when she starts squirming uncomfortably. “My parents won’t care. They never even come near my room! That’s where you two can ‘test things out!”
Aoi and Teru share a look, before turning to Akane with looks of assent.
“Be careful what you offer, Akane. You’re going to get a lot of my packages from now on.”
They shrug. “That’s fine.”
“I probably won’t get too much,” Aoi says, fiddling with his sleeve.
But Teru shakes her head. “Nonsense,” She lightly pushes her shoulder with a grin, “I’ll give you my card information. Get whatever you need.”
“T-Teru-senpai,” Aoi looks up at her with stars in her eyes, then looks at the floor. “I couldn’t take advantage of you like that. You work hard for your money, you should spend it how you like.”
Teru just waves a dismissive hand. “You say that as if I’m not offering; this is me spending it how I like.”
Something swells in Akane’s chest as she watches the two bicker in the most polite manner humanly possible. The two’s eyes are back to normal, once again just as beautiful as Akane had grown accustomed to. Their love, just as strong as before. Of course they wouldn’t suddenly worry about some version of Akane disappearing. No one’s gone, and she feels kind of silly for ever thinking such a thing. She’s right here, and the two loves of her life are here.
Nothing’s changed. Everything’s changed.