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Winter had come fairly quickly; the start of winter marked the end of the year. Truthfully, Sieun was content with what this year came to be. He, admittedly, made a new friend. His first real friend. He believed he’d graduate high school the same way he entered it, alone. He’d been alone for as long as he can remember, it was only natural he left the same way. But, fate had a funny way of presenting itself.
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January rolled by, and everyone eagerly counted down the days for the month to end to welcome in the new month. February only meant one thing to a school full of teenagers, Valentine's Day. It was a month of red and pink, love and lust, confessions and rejections. Sieun was never a fan of the holiday. He couldn’t remember a time in his life when he had a crush on anyone or anyone had a crush on him, so he never saw it as something to celebrate. This year would certainly be no different.
Sieun entered the classroom bright and early. It was empty, except for a sleeping Suho at the corner of the room. He went over to open the curtains, just a bit to let some light in, but not enough to bother Suho from his sleep. He set up his things at his desk, put in his earbuds, and got to studying. He must’ve been too concentrated on his work that he didn’t notice the person coming up to him and gently taking out the earbud.
“Hey, what didn’t you tell me you were here already!” A sleepy Suho spoke. Sieun turned in his seat to face Suho. His eyes were still adjusting to the light, his dark hair was messy, and his face was a bit puffy from his sleep. “I was waiting for you, but as you can tell, I fell asleep."
Sieun fought a smile from Suho’s confession. “I didn’t want to wake you. Why were you waiting?”
At the question, Suho seemed to fully wake up. He didn’t answer the question, instead, he went back to his desk where his backpack was. He unzipped the bag and pulled something out. It was too quick for Sieun to see what he was holding. Suho turned around with the object behind his back and walked back over to Sieun. He took a seat at the desk next to Sieun’s and presented Sieun with a blue pillow similar to his own pink pillow.
“Ta-da! I got you one too!” He placed the pillow onto Sieun’s desk and continued, “You can use it at home, I noticed you were dozing off while watching your lectures, so just use this and you’ll be comfortable there! Of course, I’d prefer it if you slept in your bed, but you study too much to care. Or you could use this in bed too, it really is comfortable.”
Sieun stared at the pillow, did he seem that tired? He must’ve been silent for too long because he heard Suho speak up again. “Try it out, see if you like it. It’s okay if you don't. I saw it in the store the other day and thought it’d be nice.”
Sieun looked at Suho’s expecting expression and finally moved. He slid his arm through the slot in the pillow and slowly brought his head down to rest on the pillow. It was comfortable, he thought. His expression gave away his thoughts because a moment later he heard Suho laugh.
“See! I told you. I knew you’d like it.” Suho said happily.
Sieun rose back up from the pillow and said. “Thanks. I do like it.” He gave Suho a small smile after he spoke. Suho responded with his own smile. “I’m glad.”
They stayed like that for a moment until they heard students starting to pile into the classroom. Sieun turned his head to look at the clock at the front of the classroom; it read 7:30. It was almost time for class to begin. He turned back to Suho, and with a last smile, Suho got up and went back to his seat.
Sieun took the pillow and put it into his backpack. He decided he’d keep it at home. He didn’t want to run the risk of anyone taking it at school, especially Youngbin and his minions. Suho had gotten it for him as a gift and he wanted to keep it safe.
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The following morning, Sieun didn’t expect another event like yesterday’s to occur again. But, of course, he was proven wrong. Today, however, Suho found him at the front of his apartment building.
“Sieun-ah!” There he was, dressed in his red windbreaker and a helmet in his hand. Suho was leaning against his bike waiting for him. “Come on, I’ll give you a ride to school,” Suho said with a wide smile.
It was way too early to be this happy, he thought. Sieun approached Suho and let the helmet be put onto his head, however, Suho didn’t pull down the visor yet. He walked over to the box attached to the bike that he uses for his deliveries and opened it. He took out two matching water bottles. One red and one blue.
“I’ll let you choose which one you want, but I think I know which one you’re gonna choose.” Suho said with a cheeky smile. He held out the two water bottles and not so secretly pushed the blue one closer to Sieun. Sieun stared at the bottles and then up to Suho. What is this? Why is he doing this, so suddenly? Sieun was shaken out of his thoughts when Suho put the water bottle - the blue one - into the pocket of his backpack. “There you go! It’s already filled for the day too!” Suho put the red bottle back into his little box and hopped onto the bike.
“Oh, before I forget.” Suho got off his bike again, stood in front of a frozen Sieun, and finally pulled the visor down. He tapped the helmet gently and said, “Ok, let’s go to school now.”
The ride to school was a blur, he can’t remember how he even got onto the bike, much less how he is seated at his desk currently. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t focus on his work. Each math problem he tried to solve had no solution. All he could think about was earlier that morning. His stomach felt a little funny thinking about it.
Surely, Suho had always been like this? The sudden onslaught of gifts was normal? He turned around to look at Suho on his makeshift bed; he was fast asleep. He looked at peace, despite the rough “bed” he was on.
Sieun hadn’t really noticed before, but Suho was very handsome. Of course, going by conventional standards, Suho was an attractive man. But, Sieun hadn’t really “looked” at him before, not in this way.
Watching him sleep, Sieun took a good look at the man; Suho has soft dark hair and strong eyebrows. Clear skin that is almost glass-like. He’s got a nice straight nose that leads to thick pink lips. Sieun kept staring and suddenly he felt his face heat up. He turned back around but the heat would not go away. What is going on with me? He thought.
Students had, thankfully, started walking in, he let out a breath and was able to get back to his studies.
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The day was here. It was February the fourteenth. All the boys in the school were over the moon to present their valentine to the girls at their school. God, Sieun couldn’t wait to be let out of school. For some reason, this year’s Valentine's Day was even more annoying than others. He wasn’t jealous of those who had admirers, not at all.
If the classrooms were bad, lunchtime was hell. All he saw were roses, chocolate, and teddy bears. All the cliches in the world that are related to the holiday were in the cafeteria. “No secret admirer this year for you, Sieun-ah?” Suho had asked him suddenly. They were seated across from each other at a table in the lunchroom.
“No. I’ve actually never had a Valentine before.” Sieun had admitted. He wasn’t sure why he even told Suho that. It was probably obvious anyway and he was sure Suho has had many Valentine’s before. He wouldn’t be surprised if Suho had someone to celebrate today with. However, Suho looked a bit surprised at his answer.
“What? Mr. Yeon Sieun hasn’t had a Valentine before? You’re so cute though. What a shame, people don’t know pretty things.” There it was again, that funny feeling in his stomach. Suho had swallowed another bite of food before speaking again.
“Let’s go out to eat later? My treat.” Sieun had lost the ability to speak, his sudden nerves took over. He looked at Suho and nodded. He was rewarded with a smile from Suho. “Great! I’ll pick you up around 6:00. Does that work for you?”
“Yes.” Sieun was able to let out softly. He didn’t know what Suho was up to, why would he want to eat with him instead of with another girl? Sieun didn’t let himself think too much about it, he went back to eating his food instead. Suho would scold him if he didn’t finish it.
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To be honest, Sieun was nervous to see Suho; it was so strange, he had never felt this way before with his friend before. There were fifteen minutes until Suho would be here to pick him up. Sieun was all ready to go. He took a look around his room and was horrified. There were clothes everywhere, he did not remember making such a mess trying to look for an outfit. He didn’t even know he owned that many clothes. He did his best to put them away before Suho arrived.
Suho should be here any moment now, the boy was punctual about time. A ding was heard from his desk, it was a notification from his phone. Suho had arrived. With one last look to this room, he deemed it clean enough. Sieun checked himself in the mirror for the last time and walked outside.
There he was, Ahn Suho standing in front of his bike. This time though, he looked different. It was a good different. Instead of his unstyled hair, he had it gelled and parted to the middle. It looked good, really good. His windbreaker had also been swapped for a leather jacket with a white shirt underneath, and his usual track pants were replaced with jeans. Sieun let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He suddenly felt a little self-conscious about his own attire because of Suho’s sudden change.
As he approached the bike, Sieun’s stomach was met with that funny feeling again.
“Sieun-ah! Wow, you look different. Not that it’s a bad thing!’ Suho corrected himself quickly and continued. “You look really nice. Very cute, as always.” He softly pinched Sieun’s cheek. Sieun's cheeks had warmed at the gesture.
Sieun had put effort into his outfit, his room had been evidence of it. He had dug deep into his closet and found a soft white cardigan and paired it with some black pants. It was a big change from his usual attire. And although he was never good at doing his hair, he did his best by fluffing it up and completing the “cute” look. He was relieved Suho had liked it.
There was a noticeable change between the two. It was sudden, but felt normal? Sieun definitely felt a change, was it a coincidence that Suho wanted to hang out with him on this particular day?
Suho cleared his throat and it was like deja vu. He went back into the delivery box and pulled out a couple of things. He stood in front of Sieun and presented him with none other than the cliches.
“Yeon Sieun, can I be your valentine?” In his hands, Suho had a vibrant red rose, a box of chocolates, and a brown teddy bear. Sieun couldn’t believe it. He lost control of his heartbeat now, it was pounding so fast and his stomach was doing flips. He looked into Suho’s eyes and noticed the boy looked nervous, but still had a smile on his face. He also didn’t miss the fact that Suho had asked to be his valentine, rather than the traditional saying, “Will you be my valentine.” It was a small but touching gesture.
“Are you being serious Suho?” Sieun had to ask because there was no way this was real. After so many years, Sieun could not believe someone would want to be his valentine, much less someone like Suho. A man who could get anyone he wanted.
“Sieun, I am being a hundred percent serious. I even wrote a letter for you but I felt a bit embarrassed because I didn’t think it was very good, but I will show it to you if it means you’ll accept!” Sieun was suddenly a weak man, but there was only one answer that he had and nothing would change it. He had realized what that funny feeling in his stomach had meant this entire week and he was sure of his answer.
Sieun smiled and answered. “Yes, I’d like you to be my Valentine.”
Suho lunged at Sieun and knocked the wind out of him. He wrapped him in a tight hug and thanked Sieun for accepting. With their current proximity, he could smell the cologne from Suho’s skin, it was a clean yet manly scent. The hug felt nice, he wouldn’t mind staying like that for a while.
After a few moments, Suho unwrapped himself from Sieun so that he could give him his presents. “Here you go, my valentine!” Sieun took his presents and stared at them.
“Do you like them?” Sieun looked up at Suho and nodded. He looked down again to take another look at his gifts. All it took was a blink, and now he has a Valentine? He felt a warm feeling in his stomach and his heart was acting up again.
Suho picked up Sieun’s chin with his hand and looked into his eyes for a moment before he spoke. “Sieun, I like you. Not as a friend; more than a friend actually. I’ve always thought you were pretty, but as we started getting closer and becoming friends, I realized that I really like you and I hope you know that me being your valentine isn’t just for today. I want it to be every day.”
Sieun had become hyper-aware of their closeness, they were practically chest to chest, and the only thing stopping them from touching were his gifts. Unlike the hug, they were face to face now, it would be so easy for Suho to lean down or Sieun to press up to connect their lips.
Hearing Suho’s confession; Sieun started to reflect on their friendship. Suho’s appearance in his life had been completely unexpected. If you were to ask Sieun a year ago about Suho, he wouldn’t be able to answer anything about him, he didn't even know he existed until that fateful day in class; when Suho had stopped him from further beating Youngbin up. The Sieun from that day would have never been able to predict his current situation. That had only existed in a dream, until now.
With Suho’s warm eyes looking at him as if he were the only person in the world and the soft touch of his hand on his chin, Sieun nodded. “I like you too, Suho.” He said softly.
It was true. It may have taken him a while to figure it out, but he had never been so sure of anything until now.
Suho broke out into the biggest smile he had ever seen, he didn’t even smile that hard when Suho had finally beat him in a game of pool. Sieun had let him win that one time, but he would never tell Suho about that. His smile was contagious, Sieun couldn’t help but break into a toothy smile.
“My Sieunnie is so pretty when he smiles.” Sieun blushed at the comment and looked down at his feet. “No, look at me again!” Suho whined at Sieun’s action. He picked up Sieun’s chin again to look at his eyes.
“Sieun, you have no idea how long I’ve waited for this moment. I was unsure if you felt the same way. Honestly, I didn’t know if you’d agree to dinner today.” Suho admitted to Sieun. Suho had been planning for this day for some time now. The biggest obstacle was having Sieun accept.
“Sieun, can I kiss you?” Suho had suddenly asked. This would be Sieun’s first kiss, he was nervous but if he was going to have a first kiss with anyone he was glad it would be with Suho. He subconsciously wet his lips and glanced down at Suho’s. He nodded for approval and whispered a soft yes.
Suho moved his hand from Sieun’s chin and brought it up to his cheek. He wrapped his other arm around Sieun’s waist and leaned down to place his lips on Sieun’s. Suho’s lips felt so soft against his own. The kiss lasted a few seconds before Suho pulled back. Suho had the goofiest grin, Sieun couldn’t help but laugh. He was happy.
Looking at Suho, Sieun realized that somehow, along the way, his life had changed. Suho had brought color into his world; he opened his eyes to the joys that the world could offer. And for once, Sieun is excited for next Valentine’s day, because he would no longer be alone.