Chapter Text
"Don't be nervous," Paul said as he and Chani got out of the Uber at the dock, thanking the driver for helping them with their bags in the trunk.
"Me? Nervous?" she said with a laugh. "Spending the weekend with millionaires?" Then she got a little more thoughtful. "If they're anything like your Dad, I'm not worried."
"They're not," he said. "But you can handle it."
Chani smiled and rested her head on his shoulder.
They had been dating since the fall semester but he had hesitated to introduce her to the family. She'd met his mom and dad and Alia when they visited campus, but Vladimir's annual island birthday celebration was a different type of ordeal entirely. She would hate them. If she didn't, then he had some concerns over their long-term potential. Really, this was a test in a way. Paul thought she'd pass. "Is no one else here yet?" he wondered, checking his phone. They were supposed to meet at 3 and they'd arrived just a couple of minutes early. Just like everyone else to be late.
"Cousin!" an unfortunately familiar voice called from inside Vladimir's boat as Feyd-Rautha emerged from below deck with a bottle of liquor already in hand.
His cousin looked like the Harkonnen side of the family, nearly the opposite of Paul and his mom. He was tall and muscular with a shaved head and pale complexion. He had a hat on backward and was smoking something, and Paul doubted it was anything legal.
"Where is everyone?"
"Late as usual," Feyd said.
Paul just hoped Chani didn't notice that things were tense between him and Feyd. They'd hooked up during high school before a DNA test revealed that he was Paul's mom's first cousin; now they just tried to ignore it and hoped it never came up. "Chani, this is my cousin Feyd-Rautha Rabban," he said. "Feyd, this is Chani Kynes."
"Y'all meet at that fucking lib school?" he asked, pulling the joint from his mouth and offering it to Paul, who took it without complaint.
"Uh, yeah," Chani said, already looking offended. "Wait, aren't you that guy who makes TikToks about how women shouldn't vote and shit?" she asked, looking from Paul to Feyd.
Paul cringed, expelling smoke with a nervous cough. Maybe he should have warned her before they'd actually gotten here, but his cousins' online footprint was a source of endless shame. "Yeah, Feyd is a…what does the PR guy call it now?"
"A masculinity influencer . My brother and I have a men's wellness line --"
A creaking truck pulling up to the docks interrupted them as Gurney Halleck pulled up and his mother, father and sister hopped out, thanking him for the ride. Paul leaned over the side of the ship to wave. "See you Monday old man!"
"Behave yourself, young pup!" he joked back as he rumbled up.
His father rolled their suitcase up the ramp as Alia ran up to meet Paul, but blew past him to hug Chani.
"Hey Alia," she said, hugging the girl.
Alia had just turned twelve and every year she got more sullen. Her hair was streaked with purple and she'd added a few fake earrings along her ears, adding to the edgy look of her all-black wardrobe. He was positive she had stolen the band shirt she was wearing from his closet. "I'm so glad you're here!" she said. "It's always such a sausage fest."
" Alia !" Mother scolded before leaning in to kiss Paul on the cheek and give Chani an awkward side hug. "But really , we're glad you're here, maybe we can balance out the abnormalities with you on our side."
Chani laughed, clearly not sure if Jessica was being serious or not.
She was.
"We can just leave without Rabban, right?" Leto muttered to him as he checked his watch. The final family member to arrive was, characteristically, growing increasingly late.
"If it were up to me…" Jessica agreed with a half-restrained laugh.
A taxi pulled up, but their delayed cousin didn't appear; the lanky, suit-wearing form of Piter de Vries climbed out instead, his phone jammed against his ear.
"Who is that ?" Chani asked.
"Grandfather's lawyer. Well, I guess he's the whole family's lawyer," he said with a shrug. "Definitely corrupt. Stay on his good side, though, he sells all the drugs too."
She giggled.
"Who invited the lawyer?" Jessica scoffed as Piter hung up his phone and gave her a sarcastic little wave.
"Oh, come on Jessica, Piter's been part of the family longer than you have," Feyd said, draping his arm over Piter's shoulders. "And he's just the man I wanted to see," he said, flashing a folded fifty-dollar bill between two fingers.
Piter laughed. "Check my bag later. Where is your brother?"
"Late. Maybe he finally decided he didn't want to --" Feyd started, but the roar of a motorcycle cut him off.
" That's Feyd's older brother," he said as Glossu Rabban got off the motorcycle, pulling the helmet off. He was massive where his brother was lean, but similarly bald and muscular, though covered in tattoos and wearing nothing but an open shirt and beach shorts. "He's the worst ."
A young blonde woman hopped off the motorcycle as well, looping her arm through Rabban's as they strode up the dock. She barely looked any older than him or Feyd, despite the fact that Rabban was at least his mom's age. Paul tried not to think about it. "And I'm guessing that's a girlfriend?"
"Don't get too attached, girlfriends don't tend to last long on that side of the family," he muttered.
"Took you long enough," Feyd said. "And who is this ?"
"Margot," Rabban said curtly. "This is my brother Feyd-Rautha," he added to her. "My cousin Jessica and her shitty kid Paul and her less shitty kid Alia." He didn't acknowledge Leto. "What are you doing here, de Vries?"
"I was invited, unlike someone else I'm looking at," he said, immediately rolling his eyes and walking away, loosening his tie.
Chani side-eyed Paul.
"Well, it's going to be a long weekend," he said with a forced smile, trying to get out of the way of Rabban and Feyd while they boasted about their muscles and their supplement business to Margot.
Feyd-Rautha watched the blonde woman drop her billowy white blouse in favor of sitting on the deck in her swimsuit top and shorts. Certainly, she was too pretty for Rabban.
He dropped down next to her. "So, Margot was it?"
"Margot Fenring," she confirmed with a smile.
"How exactly did a vision like you meet my idiot of a brother?" Then he paused, made a show of looking her over and held up a hand. "Wait… let me guess. You met at the gym." It was literally the only place Rabban could meet women because it was the only place where he seemed competent enough to be charming.
"I do aerial yoga at the studio next door," she said, leaning forward to prop her chin on her hand. "I'm studying to become a psychiatrist and it helps me blow off steam."
"Wow, a doctor," he said, raising an eyebrow. "Usually Rabban's girlfriends are more Botox than human."
Margot snorted. "I'm quite human, I swear. …He said you two live together, but you haven't been around any of the times I've visited."
Feyd shrugged. "I've been helping my uncle around the island the last few weeks. He's older, you know. Needs a bit of help." He didn't actually need help so much as he got bored and paid Feyd good money to hang around doing bullshit errands.
"That's so kind of you. I'm surprised Glossu isn't helping out," she said.
He snorted. "How long have you been dating?" She clearly didn't know Rabban's opinions on their uncle yet, and she still called him by his first name.
"About a month."
"Ah. You'll see," was all he said, because his brother dropped down on Margot's deck chair, his arm over her shoulder as he glared at Feyd.
"What are you two talking about?" he asked, a little accusatory.
"The fact that you'd leave our elderly, infirm uncle to wither and die if it were up to you," Feyd said, meeting Margot's eye with a wink. She giggled.
"I do what I have to do to stay in the will," he said with a cruel laugh. "Feyd would boil a litter of puppies if our uncle told him to," he said, lighting up a blunt as he sprawled out on the chair behind where Margot was sitting.
"I don't think that's true," she said. "Your brother seems perfectly human."
"That's how he fools people," he said. "He's one of those spiders that lures you into its web, fucks you and eats you alive," he continued.
Feyd flashed a middle finger at him and rolled his eyes. Then he smiled at Margot again and stood up. "We'll be landing in half an hour. Enjoy your sunbathing, Margot," he said as he stomped his way below deck.
"What do you think?" Piter asked him from where he was tucked in a corner delicately wielding a razor blade against a pile of peach-colored powder.
"She's smarter than he is, for sure. Not sure what the appeal is," he said. "What is that?"
"Alia traded me some of her Adderall for some black fingernail polish and a flash drive full of R-rated horror movies."
"Kids are stupid," Feyd said as Piter separated out a couple of neat lines. "...Together for a month. That's practically serious for him."
Piter scowled. "She's serious about his money, you mean," he said before he leaned over and snorted the powder. "Take one if you need it."
Who was Feyd to turn down a bit of stimulation?
At least the island was big enough to avoid each other, Jessica thought as Leto handed their bags to the man waiting at the dock. Alia was jabbering with Chani about some book they had both read, and she was glad to see the girl enjoying herself. The closer she got to 13, the surlier she became. It was a Harkonnen affliction. Paul had only just come out of it.
The house, a huge ultra-modern all-glass structure at the top of a hill, overlooking most of the tiny private island, seemed oddly quiet as they approached it. Leto seemed to have caught onto her suspicion, sliding up and taking her hand. "Staff's gone?" he asked.
"Seems like it." Jessica had no strong positive feelings about her father, who she'd only found out she was related to 6 years ago, but a billionaire real estate developer was never a bad person to have a connection to, and Leto's construction business had thrived as a result. Growing up an orphan and suddenly having a father and two volatile cousins had certainly been an adjustment.
"Maybe you should stay back," he said as they crested the top of the stairs. They both noticed the doors to the house wide open and scuffed up, one of the glass panes shattered. "Feyd, Paul, come here," he called.
The boys were arguing a few paces behind them but managed to shut up long enough to come when called.
"I definitely locked the door when I left," Feyd said, immediately walking over and inspecting the broken glass.
"What's up?"
"Did Vladimir's house get…broken into?" Paul asked.
"It's on a private island, Atreides, who would break in ?" he snapped back skeptically as he stepped over the broken glass into the house. "Uncle?" he called. "Vladimir?"
"Where is everyone?" Jessica wondered out loud.
"He dismissed the staff for the weekend," Feyd called back. "Said it was going to be family only. But…" He frowned and continued through the house, the open floorplan keeping everyone basically in the same room anyway. "No one's here."
The rest of them walked inside slowly.
"What's happening?" Alia asked.
"Not sure," Chani said, holding the girl by the shoulder. "But be careful, alright?"
Jessica walked into the kitchen, where a few chairs were overturned. Nothing immediately jumped out as missing, but it did look like there had been some kind of a struggle. Then she saw the note stuck to the glossy steel refrigerator.
" YOU OWE ME " it read in bold, sloppy letters.
"I think I found something," she called, and the whole family was suddenly crowded in the kitchen behind her as she opened the note. "It's…a ransom note?" she said. Cut out letters like it was in a movie and everything. " 'Let's see how you all do without your cash cow. No police, no leaving the island, await further instruction.' "
"Someone kidnapped your father?" Leto asked, skeptical.
"I guess?" she said, returning the note to the fridge with a shark-shaped magnet. "Piter, we still have a ransom fund right?"
"Yeah…I suppose I'll call the bank," he said, looking unconcerned as she stepped outside with his phone already at his ear.
"So what do we do?" Rabban asked.
"I mean it says await further instruction…maybe we should just clean up the glass and make some dinner," Jessica mused. "Hopefully they don't call in the middle of the night. I'm exhausted."
"They'll get sick of him and give him back before too long, I bet," Rabban said, utterly unconcerned that his uncle had apparently been abducted, reaching into the fridge for a beer as Paul went off to find a broom. "Want a beer, babe?"
"Wine?" the girl, Margot, asked.
Rabban pulled a bottle of white wine out, victorious.
"Would you like a tour of the island after dinner?" Feyd asked Margot with a cocky little glare at Rabban.
"Oh, that would be so fun!" she said, looking from Rabban to Feyd with a grin. "Let's do it."
Rabban rolled his eyes. "Maybe we shouldn't be going off when there are apparently kidnappers on the loose," he pointed out.
"Don't be a coward, big brother. No one would abduct you anyway," Feyd said. "We can go just the two of us if he's going to be a boring old man about it."
Margot giggled and gave Rabban that look that most of the women he dated gave him when they met Feyd. In the spirit of masculine competition, he didn't complain. Not out loud, at least. He had more important things to worry about. With Vladimir gone, he was the one in charge, obviously, as the oldest man left on the island.
"Do what you want," he said, throwing back his beer.
"Why do you let him do that?" Paul asked him as Feyd and Margot wandered off, Feyd pointing out "interesting" features of the compound until they were out of earshot.
Rabban didn't want to admit to his shitty little cousin that he got bored of the women he dated after about a month so he just let Feyd feel like he was stealing them so he didn't have to break up with them. "I'm not some insecure beta male who can't handle my woman talking to other men," he lied instead. "Now get out of my face before I steal your girlfriend."
"You're not my type, fascist," she called over her shoulder.
Rabban sighed, grabbing the whole bottle of whiskey as he got up from the pool chair and started wandering vaguely in the direction his brother had taken Margot.
They were looking at the flowers that marked the edge of the estate when he came up, quickly wrapping an arm around her waist and lifting her off her feet for a second. "Good to see he hasn't murdered you yet."
"Is that a concern?"
"I mean, what do you think happened to our uncle?" he joked while his brother glared.
"Our beloved uncle could be terrified and tortured by some deranged kidnapper right now and you're making jokes ?" Feyd asked, playing at being hurt.
Margot seemed to buy it, putting a hand on his shoulder sympathetically. "You don't care about your family?" she asked him with a little pout.
Rabban struggled with the urge to just say 'no.' Clearly it wasn't what she wanted him to say. "I'm so worried," he said dryly. "But I keep my concerns to myself because that's what men do," he added, finishing the bottle.
Feyd made a sad face, blatantly fake but apparently she was eating it up. "I'm so scared for him…"
"I'm going to take Feyd-Rautha back up to the house, he's clearly upset," she said, gently taking Feyd by the elbow and turning away from Rabban.
"Fine," he snapped. He didn't wait for his brother's response before walking back down to the pool, throwing the empty bottle into some bushes. He collapsed into his deck chair. This had to be the fourth girl Feyd had stolen from him in the last year. They were in business together, though, and the little shit knew they had to keep things civil, which meant he could get away with whatever he wanted.
Piter was on the phone when he caught his eye, but walked over anyway, leaning on the back of his chair and popping open a compartment on one of his tacky rings, revealing a neat pile of white powder. "Need a boost?"
Ugh. He only ever did coke when the lawyer came around. "Yeah."
Piter patted him on the shoulder and wandered off after he took the bump, filling up two glasses before he returned and pulled up a seat. "Whiskey neat," he said with a dramatic little flourish.
"You memorized my drink order?"
"Comes with the job."
Paul stumbled out of bed in the middle of the night, needing to pee, off to find the bathroom at the end of the guest wing hall. A bright light from a different room caught his eye and he saw a feminine shape slipping out of the room up the hall he knew belonged to Feyd.
Oh no.
Not again.
Margot stumbled past him with a slightly ashamed giggle and he had to go peek in on his cousin.
"You didn't."
"Oh, I did," Feyd said as he tied the lace on his sweatpants. "Don't look all judgmental, cousin, it's all in good fun. Rabban would do the same to me."
Paul couldn't say he cared all that much about Rabban's feelings, of all people, but he did enjoy being able to be superior to his cousin for a few minutes. "Our family is under attack, Feyd, maybe you should be more loyal to them and not outsiders."
"What, you think that girl kidnapped uncle? I doubt it." Feyd scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Though, I guess the timing is kind of convenient…and she did ask a lot of questions about us."
Huh. Well, that was new. "We'll just have to keep a close eye on her, then," he said before he turned to actually go to the bathroom and go back to bed.
"I plan on it."