Work Text:
Dearest Lady Primm,
You may think it strange to leave a letter behind when we have already bid farewell. In truth, I could not bear to wait until after I arrived at my brother’s home to write you, and yet if I tried in vain to say all that I feel before departing, I should never leave at all. Such is your effect on me:
I had long thought my heart to be of stone... no, rather of glass, for it was both hard and fragile. Long ago, a piece was broken off, and lost for good, and so I have kept what remained wrapped in cloth in a locked box, until the inevitable day that it would finally be shattered, and Aramis would be no more. Yet when I met you--indeed when first I beheld you--I felt that heart soften. In the months that followed, you have unwrapped by heart, taken it into your gentle hands, and made it soft again. And though what I have lost is lost forever, you have made new additions, and if my heart is not yet whole, I know it shall be soon. Yes, whole and more--larger and grander than ever it was, to make room for your love.
You overflow with love and warmth, Primm. One such as I would not dare demand that you save all of it for me, not when I have left you and know not when I shall return. No, I cannot ask to hold your heart, but I will ask that you continue to hold mine. Carry my heart with you always, Primm. It could not find a better caretaker.
I shall write you at every opportunity, and think of you even more often. I swear that this is not goodbye... simply, “until next we meet.”
All of my heart,
Aramis
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My Dear Heart Ser Aramis,
When I read your letter, I bawled for what must have been hours! But, now that I have composed myself, I must correct you.
You not only may ask that I keep my love for you, but you must . All of it must be for you, and only you, or I fear that I shall die! How can you ask me to hold your heart, and not carry mine? It belongs with you... even now it aches for you.
You might think this silly, but I slept terribly last night. It would seem I’ve grown too used to listening to your heartbeat and your breathing... without them I couldn’t fall asleep. To make matters worse, my bed still smells like you. It’s a wonderful smell... like fresh berries, and some wonderful musk, and... other beautiful things I lack the words to describe. But even a wonderful smell is awful, when it reminds me of how badly I wish I were holding you. Being held by you. Soon I shall have to wash my sheets and blankets, and I don’t know whether I shall sleep better for not being reminded, or worse, for missing the scent in addition to all else. I wish so badly that I could touch you, or hear your voice.
I will spend every sleepless night thinking of you, and dream of you every night that I do sleep. Please write me soon, my love.
Yours forever and ever,
Primm
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Primm, my love,
I beg your forgiveness for my thoughtlessness--I had thought it selfless to let you keep your heart, in case one more worthy of it should come calling, yet now I see that it was simply fear of pain that motivated me. I pray that you and any gods that bore witness to my weakness will forgive... if it pleases you, believe that your own heart was enclosed in your letter, and that even now I clasp it close to my chest.
It saddens me to hear that your sleep is disturbed, and yet there is a certain wicked pleasure in knowing that my absence is the cause. I would not dare admit so, except that I crave you just as desperately. I long to taste your lips, to touch your skin, to run my hands through your resplendent scarlet hair... to lay my head upon your chest, and let the soothing pulse within carry me away to the land of dreams. How I wish I were embracing you, and being enveloped by your sweet love. If your want is like mine, you know that imagination is a poor lover by comparison, nevertheless I shall continue to see only your visage when I close my eyes, and pretend I am near you when I embrace my pillow at night. Even during the day, I find that my mind meanders to your side...
Ah, but lest I forget, today I am a messenger for more than just myself. Gilbert, Leah and Virginia all send their love, and my brother in particular thanks you for allowing me this time with him. Gilbert is ready to rule; he is the only one still unsure of that. Yet there are things he still wishes he could ask our father, and in a parent’s absence, a sibling is obligated to make amends however they can. Gilbert has promised that he will not keep me long, for he knows how ardently I desire to return to you. May we reunite in our dreams in the meantime.
I miss you every day,
Aramis
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Aramis, my one and only,
Ahhh! How is it that you can make my heart race from so many miles away!? Your words are like sweet honey that I can never seem to get enough of...
Your wish that we would meet in our dreams must have come true, because you have come to me in my sleep many times since you left. Last night, I dreamed that I was sitting beside you, my head on your shoulder. Have I ever told you how soft and beautiful your hair is? In my dream, I couldn’t stop running my hands through it, drawing it like a curtain to kiss your neck. You squeezed my hand, and rubbed your thumb into it. We pressed against each other, and it was so warm... I even heard your voice. That adorable little laugh you have, and then you said, “It’s time to wake up, my flower.” And so I did. I wish the dream could have lasted a little longer, but I admit it was very kind of you to wake me! Hee hee! I wonder, have you dreamt of me, too? Have I helped you greet the day with a kiss? I hope so.
Of course you must tell everyone hello for me! It still feels strange to be so familiar with royalty, but since His Majesty is your brother I think you can safely tell him: he has already proven himself a fine king, and one that Drakenhold can always be proud of. So neither of you have any reason to hang on to guilt or uncertainty, understand?
Still, by all means give your family comfort for as long as you must. As much as I miss you--and I still miss you so dearly that it hurts--I am so proud of the kind and caring person you are, and knowing that you care so much for your brother fills me with warm feelings. But still... don’t linger longer than you must. I am impatient to have you back with me.
Yearning always,
Primm
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My Primm,
If my words are honey, then what passes to my ears and eyes from your heart must be the ambrosia of heaven itself. I have dreamt of you, though not of your voice I am bitter to admit. The feelings you inspire in my bosom are of such magnitude that plain speech cannot capture them... I have enclosed with this letter a poem I penned when the waves of emotion had threatened to knock me over. I fear it still shall not suffice, but it was the best I could muster. When I return, we shall write far better poetry upon each other in kisses and loving touches.
Gilbert is well, and Virginia has confided in me that she and Leah intend to stay with him after I have gone. She did not fully divulge her plans, but from the princess’ devilish smile I can make inferences... I think my brother shall be in good hands.
It is indeed good to be with one’s family... which is why I must see you again, and soon.
Until then, my flower,
Aramis
Atop the waterfall and cliffs of stone,
A single wildflower peeks its head
Above the craggy, ragged planes, alone,
Though leaves of grass and vines were buried, dead.
The lonely flower blossoms, casts her charms,
And bids the water of life to spring out
While I, a lowly soldier, lay down arms
To quench and quell my fear, remorse and doubt.
Atop the waterfall and cliffs of stone,
The radiant sun shone down and made me blind
To all the reasons I should fade alone.
With her, I too will bloom: to her I bind.
Life will flow forth from where that flower blooms.
Please: may I drink forever as her groom?
(Historian’s note: enclosed with the letter, and this poem, were a single pressed flower, and a ring of gold.)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Aramis, my one and only forever,
YES! Yes, yes a thousand times!
Return at once.
I need you.
Primm
(Historian’s note: according to accounts from that time, this letter was delivered to the castle at Soldraga, but Ser Aramis had already begun the journey home. The letter was returned to the couple on their wedding day.)