Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Name: Lessons

Location: Poconos

Date: October 2014

x

Mark Green sat in the small room designated as the principal's office, holding There was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Shoe in front of Zander Barker. The space was definitely nothing compared to his actual office back in Connecticut, but Mark wasn't complaining. Frankly, the fact that Christine Slattery managed to get a school up and running, all based on volunteer labor, within a month of this safe zone being created was nothing short of a miracle. And while the classes were certainly not covering the standard curriculum, Mark thought that mattered far less than providing the two hundred odd children here with some stability. After all, the vast majority of them were related, in some way, to the crew of the Nathan James — meaning that most of these children had only a single parent here at the camp. Even more difficult, while a number of the families had come from Norfolk and had met previously, there were many children — like his son Chris — who arrived without knowing anyone else. Even without any academics, Mark agreed with Christine that school was the best way to provide these children with both stability and a social outlet.

"There was an," Mark stopped, finger under the word.

"Old lady!" Zander shrieked, before giggling.

"Who swallowed a..." again Mark paused.

"Shoe," Zander said.

"I don't know why she swallowed the shoe," Mark continued, reciting the book almost from memory at this point. Still, the change in Zander over the past six weeks was a point of pride for Mark. Zander, along with his mother and two sisters, was here because his father was an officer on the Nathan James. Upon learning that Zander's mother, Vicky, was qualified to teach middle and high school math and science, Mark had been determined to get her into the classroom. The catch was that Zander required constant supervision. So Mark struck a deal. He now spent ninety minutes a day working on academic and speech goals with Zander, before passing Zander off to Robin Carson for the remainder of the school day. Although Vicky had been hesitant at first — Mark learned that Zander had been kicked out of a half dozen schools and programs before the Barkers decided to homeschool — the arrangement worked well. Zander took to Robin immediately and Robin was already talking about how much she would miss the boy once everyone was allowed to go home.

For his part, Mark was simply thankful for whatever strings Danny pulled to get Robin and Rebecca Carson moved to this Navy safe zone. Without Robin's support, Mark wasn't sure what he would have done in the five months since his wife Joanne died. And despite what his son Chris seemed to think, based on several snide comments, there was nothing of a romantic nature going on. Shattered by the sudden loss of his wife of almost forty years, Mark had needed something to hold onto, and Robin had been his rock.

Mark and Zander had just begun the next page of the book when the door to his office opened unexpectedly. He looked up to see Robin standing there, her face pale. Conscious of the fact that Zander reacted badly to unexpected schedule changes, Mark turned to Zander first. "Zander, would you like to play with your pop-its or look at the book while I talk to Miss Robin?"

"Pop-its! Pop-its!" Zander cheered, moving to the cabinet where Mark kept the toys.

Mark turned to Robin, dropping his voice. "What's wrong? Did something happen?"

"I don't know," Robin said, her voice worried. When Mark went to speak, she shook her head. "I don't. Christine just called to say that Captain Anders needs to see you immediately. Christine didn't know why, just that she had a list of people to call. Christine said to come to her office." Robin paused, both of them considering the only reason why Captain Anders — who Mark had seen only in passing since his arrival here — would want to see Mark.

Danny.

Robin set a hand on Mark's shoulder, squeezing gently. "Just go. I'll stay with Zander."

Not wasting any more time, Mark nodded. Rising, he walked briskly down the hallway that had been created by combining the portable housing units, wishing he had thought to ask who else was on Christine's list. The fact that he wasn't the only person being called to the Captain's office was a good thing, Mark rationalized. Unless, of course, there had been a major disaster with multiple casualties. Mark picked up the pace, wishing that Christine's designated office wasn't on the other side of the complex from the school.

Mark had spoken to his daughter Caroline last night and she hadn't mentioned any problems. Well, any more problems than usual, given that she was part of the far-too-small team assigned to vaccinate the entire New Orleans metropolitan area. If anything, Caroline sounded as though they were pushing back the tide, mentioning that they might be moving again in a day or two. Although now that Mark was thinking about it, Caroline had been distracted. It hadn't struck Mark as odd at the time but, in retrospect, something that Mark couldn't quite put his finger on just felt ... off. Unlike Danny, Caroline could usually be counted on to fill Mark in on anything of importance in her life and, since the Nathan James and Solace were traveling together, Mark assumed that she would also fill him in on anything involving Danny. That Caroline would serve as a bridge connecting Mark and Danny, the way Joanne used to do.

A bridge.

Mark suddenly felt sick, jarred by how distant he had grown from his oldest child. He recalled Danny as a tow-headed toddler, throwing himself off the back of the couch into Mark's arms, confident that his father would catch him. For years, Mark had made a point of spending one evening a week with his son, just the two of them, listening as Danny talked about baseball or raved about a random television show that Mark had no interest in watching. At the time, he assured himself that he was doing the right thing. All the research showed that establishing a strong connection with your children when they were young meant the connection would remain as they got older. Yet, somehow, that connection had faded to the point where Danny sometimes felt more like a stranger than the child that Mark raised.

Forcing his feet to continue moving, Mark recalled the last time he talked to Danny. There had been an email or two exchanged after the Nathan James returned to the United States, as well as one voicemail, but the last time they actually talked was when Danny called over the summer to announce that he was married to a woman Mark didn't know Danny was dating, and they were expecting a baby. The news was shocking, and not just for Mark. In fact, there had been a bit of a flap among the military folks about regulations against that sort of thing, most of which disappeared after Christine let it slip that the two got an advance waiver. But while that last fact seemed to stop the muttering, it rankled Mark. Danny was serious enough about Kara to make sure he informed the Navy, not wanting to break any regulations, but didn't bother to mention Kara in his last phone call home.

Which meant Joanne died without even knowing that Kara existed.

The thought was a knife to the gut, just as it was every time Mark thought about his wife's death. A day that started off like any other, and ended up with his entire life in tatters. Mark had been distracted that night when Joanne called, busy working on the summer school schedule and arguing with Chris about the car, not thinking much of Joanne's decision to remain at the hospital overnight. He went to sleep without even texting her good night, assuming she was busy with work and figuring that they would catch up the next day. But by the time he woke up, Joanne's patient was dead and she was quarantined. A week later, Joanne was gone, Mark forced to say goodbye to his wife of thirty-five years over the phone, the quarantine now extending to the entire hospital building.

Joanne would never meet her daughter-in-law or never hold her grandchild. She wouldn't watch Caroline get married or Chris graduate from high school. The remainder of her life was stolen from her — from both of them. Because Mark never imagined a future without Joanne, and the idea of the years ahead without her was a physical pain.

What would he do if he lost his son too?

Pushing away the unbearable thought, Mark focused again on his new daughter-in-law. Apparently, Kara was close with Vicky and her husband, coming by to watch Zander and his sisters so Vicky and her husband could go out. According to Vicky, Kara was well liked by all her crewmates and was considered to be a shoo-in for a command track promotion. Plus, Caroline said she liked Kara — and Caroline never bothered lying about such things. Unlike Danny, who lied about pretty much everything.

Lied about pretty much everything?

The thought stopped Mark cold.

Was that really how he saw his son? As a liar?

Joanne would argue that no, Danny wasn't lying. He simply couldn't tell them what he did most of the time. It was confidential, just like Mark's work at the school or Joanne's work at the hospital.

Of course, Danny took confidentiality to the extreme, never telling them where he was or when he might be home or even when he was injured. Mark found out that Danny was shot only after he saw the scar. It had been a shocking revelation, realizing that his child had been through a major medical crisis, yet didn't bother to tell them. When Joanne brought it up later, Danny shrugged it off, claiming that it was a through-and-through, and he didn't want to worry them. Of course, Joanne hadn't accepted that explanation and eventually learned the details about the collapsed lung and surgery that followed to retrieve bullet fragments. Learning how badly Danny was hurt was a shock, but Mark had been more struck by how casually Danny felt about the injury — as though major bodily trauma was nothing more than a footnote.

Kind of the way he acted when he caught the Red Flu.

Anger bubbled up, as it always did when Mark recalled the last time he found himself hurrying towards Christine's office. That time he hadn't been overly worried, since he knew upon being summoned that Danny was on the phone. But other than a cough, Danny sounded fine. Better than fine, truthfully, rambling on about Kara and the baby. Talking to Mark the way he used to as a teenager, no apparent filter or guise as he told Mark about the wedding and the baby. Danny sounded so happy that Mark got caught up in the excitement, sharing the happy news with everyone he ran into for the next week. It was only later, after the news broke on Nathan James Watch about Doctor Scott finding a cure following a tragic accident aboard the Nathan James, that Mark understood. Danny hadn't been given permission to call and share his happy news.

He had called to say goodbye.

Mark wondered how he would feel if, instead of learning — through the news, a sore point — that Danny was the first known survivor of the Red Flu, he instead found out that his son was dead. Worse, possibly learning that Danny called to say goodbye and then didn't. But, even as he asked the question, Mark suspected that he would never have known for sure what happened. He thought about the Pearsons, who learned that their son was dead only after the Nathan James made port in Savannah. No information was provided about what happened, or even when he died. Merely that their son was killed in action and buried at sea.

No, if Danny hadn't survived, Mark never would have known how he died.

His jaw clenched to the point of pain, Mark increased his speed. Because no matter how distant he might feel from his son right now, he didn't think that he could survive losing Danny as well.

Chapter Text

Mark turned a corner and saw Vicky Barker several steps ahead, hurrying in the same direction as Mark himself. "Vicky!"

She turned, face pale, and the horrible thought struck Mark that this might not be about Danny at all. Vicky's husband, Alex, had been injured on the Nathan James and transferred to Solace — where Caroline was — for treatment. Was it possible that something happened to Solace? Or possibly to both crews as they worked to vaccinate groups in New Orleans?

Vicky paused, letting Mark catch up. "Do you know why they called us?"

"No." Mark's throat felt so tight that he could barely force out the word.

He couldn't imagine losing one child, couldn't even consider the possibility of losing two, all in one fell swoop.

Two minutes later they were entering the small office that Christine Slattery occupied, and Mark looked around to find the Pearsons, Jed Chandler, Bill Garnett, Missy Berchem and Emma Smith. Mark's throat tightened as he realized that they were all family members of the Nathan James's senior officers or Danny's team. Even worse, Captain Anders stood next to Christine's desk waiting. Mark had expected her to arrive last, busy with other matters until they were all gathered. Somehow, her presence in Christine Slattery's office when Mark and Vicky appeared only increased Mark's rising panic.

Captain Anders turned from the window, her face giving away nothing. "Thank you for joining us, Mr. Green and Mrs. Barker. Please have a seat. I want to assure you that there's no reason for concern. Your loved ones are fine. This is an informational meeting only. Please meet Lieutenant Chun."

Captain Anders waved in a man dressed in starched Navy blue. The man then turned toward them with a large smile. "Thank you, Captain Anders."

Feeling abruptly twenty pounds lighter, Mark settled into the offered chair, while Lieutenant Chun began talking. "Congratulations to you all. I am here on behalf of the President of the United States to invite all of you to a private reception honoring those who went above and beyond in service to their country."

The man paused, as if expecting something, but the group simply sat, staring at him. Mark wondered if they were also feeling whiplash, going from devastating fear to relief that they were not about to be given the worst news possible to ... anger that this man terrified them for no reason. Fortunately for him, Lieutenant Chun seemed oblivious to the tension in the room.

"The award ceremony itself is private, open only to those with clearance, such as General Chandler..."

It took Mark a moment to understand that Lieutenant Chun was referred to Jed Chandler. How had he not known that the man was a General? Jed had made a few references to his time in the Army, but most men Jed's age served in some way. Although, now that Mark was considering the question, Jed did seem to have incredible connections. After all, he managed to get doses of the cure into the safe zone long before there were official deliveries. Still, Jed didn't act at all the way Mark imagined a general acting, all stiff and formal, barking orders all of the time.

Mark realized that Lieutenant Chun was still talking. "If you would like to attend the public reception, I will escort you to a hotel the night before where you will have an opportunity to meet up with your family. The next morning..."

But this time Lieutenant Chun was stopped by the murmur of voices, more excited by the idea of seeing their family than a trip to the White House. Mark heard Emma ask something about her children, and then Vicky turned towards Mark, her eyes filled with tears. "Will you give Alex a message for me? I won't be able to go, not with Zander. I just want to know that Alex is okay. He keeps telling me that he's fine but he doesn't like to worry me."

"Why don't I stay here with Zander so you can go," Mark offered, the words spoken without thought.

Vicky stared at him, clearly confused. "But don't you want to see Danny?"

No.

Stunned to silence by his reaction, Mark blinked at Vicky. What was wrong with him? He loved his son — was incredibly proud of all he had done during this terrible pandemic. Vicky was right — why wouldn't he want to see Danny?

Because he was angry.

He was angrier than he had ever been that his son continued to put his life at risk, over and over again. Forget about Mark's feelings for a minute, Danny had a wife and baby on the way. Didn't Danny understand that they had to take priority over his job? That family had to come first? Danny was just like his mother, always putting other people before them and...

Mark stopped, the thought repeating itself over and over again.

Danny was just like his mother.

Because Mark wasn't angry at Danny, was he?

He was angry at Joanne.

Talk about absurd. Mark was angry at his dead wife. Because Joanne left and never came back, dying in a pointless effort to try to save doomed patients. And, possibly worse, he was taking that anger out on his son. Because Danny was just like his mother, risking his own life to find a way to make sure nothing like that ever again, without any regard to how that impacted those around him.

Except...

Mark knew that wasn't true.

Danny had thought about his family. If it wasn't for Danny, Mark and Chris would still be home in Connecticut, scared to do so much as go to the grocery store for fear of catching this thing. That had happened to one of Mark's teachers, a young woman with two small children. Last Mark heard, she had died, although the cure had reached the States in time to save the children. And not only had Danny gotten Mark here with Chris, he had apparently pulled strings to have Robin and Rebecca join them here as well.

Mark's discomfort grew as he recalled that telephone call with Danny — the one where Mark refused to leave Connecticut without Robin and Rebecca. Of course, at the time Mark had no idea how bad things would get, and he certainly didn't know what Rebecca had done to try to ruin things between Danny and Kara. Frankly, Mark was still reeling over that information, provided not by Danny, of course, but by Robin, who apparently got the entire story out of Rebecca after Missy Berchem gave Rebecca the cold shoulder. Robin was mortified to learn that Rebecca followed Danny to the Bahamas while he was there with Kara, but Mark had been more sympathetic. It wasn't like Danny told anyone that he had a new girlfriend. It was hardly Rebecca's fault that she stumbled into an awkward situation. Just like Mark did when he asked Danny to get Rebecca and Robin put on the evacuation list, not realizing everything that went down between them.

Who was the selfish one again?

"Mark?" Vicky asked, her voice concerned. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, sorry." Finally, he forced a smile. "Of course I want to see Danny. But Alex was injured. And I know what you mean about them hiding information. Danny's the same. It's more important for you to see Alex and make sure that he's really okay."

Just then Christine appeared. "Actually, Vicky, I think there's a way for everyone to go. We could bring Robin and ..."

Mark nodded along, pretending to listen as the women discussed logistics, waiting only for the first break in the conversation before excusing himself. Once outside, however, Mark didn't head back to the makeshift school. Instead he headed towards the small housing unit where he and Chris were living, thankful to find himself alone. That happened so rarely these days. There was simply so much to do at the school during the day and by the time he got home and ate dinner, it was time for curfew. The positive of having such an early curfew was that he had time to talk to Chris. Drawing the teenager out could be a chore. Mark smiled as he recalled how it took three nights of chatter to which Chris responded only with grunts before it came out that Chris had a serious crush on one of the Slattery girls. From there, he was able to learn that the girl — Whitney — also liked soccer and that they two had met up at least three times, alone, to practice. But Chris wasn't sure whether she actually liked him or if she just liked soccer. Mark wasn't fooled. Teenager girls went nowhere alone. Not, that was, unless they were hoping to be more than friends. Mark smiled as he thought about how much Chris admitted without even realizing that he was telling Mark anything at all. Sometimes you just needed to keep pushing in order to reach a kid...

Mark stopped, caught by his own thoughts.

Sometimes you just had to keep pushing.

When had he stopped pushing Danny for information about his life?

Here he was, angry at his son for keeping secrets, yet when was the last time that Mark really asked? Realizing that he was standing still in the middle of the lane when two kids on bikes zipped by, Mark forced himself to start walking again. When was the last time he spent time alone with Danny? Danny was home for a few days a year ago, but Mark was busy with preparations for the holiday show at school. While Danny came by to say hello during the rehearsal, the conversation was light, focused mostly on the play and things at the school. There had been nothing personal about it. No, Danny hadn't offered, but Mark also hadn't asked. And how was it fair to expect Danny to tell Mark things, when Mark showed so little interest in his life? Not even finding the time for the two of them to go out to breakfast together the way they used to do when Danny was younger?

Maybe if Mark had pushed for breakfast or even coffee, Danny would have mentioned the problems he was having with Rebecca. Perhaps then Mark wouldn't have been so surprised by the breakup, uncertain how to respond to Danny's clipped email from Afghanistan informing his parents that the two were no longer an item. And if that had gone well, perhaps Danny would have shared the fact that he had met someone new. Someone he loved enough to apparently take steps that might have hurt his career. Mark still wasn't sure he understood why Danny and Kara's relationship was a problem, but he did understand that the military folks here thought that it was. The fact that Danny got a waiver showed how serious he was about Kara, yet he didn't reach out to his parents to say anything.

Could Mark have changed that outcome?

Opening the door to his unit, Mark moved automatically towards the small coffee pot, his mind a whirlwind. As the coffee brewed, Mark attempted to organize his thoughts. The anger was still there, as was the fear. But overriding both of those emotions was the realization that he needed to do something to fix his relationship with Danny — assuming he still could. Which meant, Mark supposed, that he should start packing for an overnight trip to Washington, D.C. Because that was the only way he was likely to see Danny before he took himself off on some ridiculously dangerous mission. And if Danny died right now, while Mark was standing here feeling angry with his son and not doing a damn thing to fix the rift that had grown between them.

Mark would never forgive himself.

Chapter Text

Mark didn't expect to simply run into them. He stood, frozen, watching his son stroll down the hall with his arm looped around the waist of a petite brunette.

Kara.

Mark recognized her from the pictures that ran regularly on Nathan James Watch, yet he had imagined her as taller, with more of a physical presence. Standing next to Danny, Kara seemed tiny and Mark briefly wondered how she kept the sailors under her in line. As Mark watched, Danny bent down to brush a kiss against her temple, the two of them laughing at a joke Mark was too far away to hear. He hesitated, feeling as though he was invading a private moment, wondering whether it would be better to disappear into the stairway without either of them noticing him.

But Mark hadn't come all this way to hide in his room. He took a quick step forward, hand lifting. "Danny!"

Danny stopped abruptly, the laughter draining from his face as his head jerked upright to stare at Mark. Next to him, Kara gazed from one man to another, before her mouth opened to say something that Mark couldn't hear. Then Danny released Kara, taking one step forward and then another.

"Dad."

It was the look on Danny's face — the utter joy — that propelled Mark forward until he was stumbling down the hallway in order to pull his oldest child into his arms. Danny felt so solid, so healthy, no different than the last time Mark gave him a hug, back before his last deployment almost a year ago.

How was it possible that someone in the peak of health could have come so close to dying?

Even as the thought formed, Mark could recognize how absurd it was. Joanne had been in excellent health for her age, yet the virus took her in days. There was something about the randomness of the Red Flu, the indiscriminatory way it killed, that still felt surreal. Mark had spent the last thirty-three years worrying about Danny. That's what parents did, after all. But for the last ten, since Danny qualified as a SEAL, the worries had changed from the general middle-of-the-night-car-accident kind to ones about Danny being shot or stabbed or going down in a helicopter crash.

Things that would happen only because Danny made the insane decision to join the most dangerous profession in the world.

Apparently in an effort to drive his parents mad.

Isn't that what Mark always said, half joking, to Joanne? That Danny needed to get another job before he turned every hair in their heads white? The assumption, of course, being that the risk could be controlled, even eliminated. Yet, what killed his wife and almost killed his son had nothing to do with Danny's job. In fact, under these circumstances, a Navy ship in the Arctic might just have been the safest place in the entire world.

And didn't that just mess with everything that Mark had believed for years about when he needed to worry about his children, and when he didn't.

Clutching his son for just a moment longer, Mark took a step back, not caring about the tears he could feel running down his face, understanding how lucky he was that his son was here — alive — rather than being here to collect a flag, like Rob and Sandy Pearson. Mark stared at Danny's face, studying it for any sign of what had happened.

"You look good," he finally managed. "Healthy."

Grinning, Danny took a step back, his arm going back around Kara's waist. "Dad, this is Kara. Kara, this is my dad. Mark."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, sir," Kara said.

Mark began lifting his hand, before realizing how ridiculous it would look and dropping the hand to his side. This was his daughter-in-law, his son's wife, the mother of his grandchild. He had never imagined a world where he wouldn't be hugging her right now. "You as well."

Kara spoke again. "Danny's told me so much about you."

"He's told me almost nothing about you," Mark joked, wincing when Danny noticeably stiffened, rushing to explain. "That came out wrong. I mean, I'm looking forward to getting to know you properly, now that you and Danny are back in the States. My daughter Caroline has wonderful things to say about you."

Danny noticeably relaxed at that, and Mark tried not to feel stung by how quickly Danny jumped to the wrong conclusion. Did he really think that Mark would be flat-out rude to Kara? Although, Mark realized, given his close connection to Robin and Rebecca, Danny's concern wasn't altogether unfounded. Vaguely, Mark wondered how Caroline and Kara met. It was funny, now that Mark thought about it, how Caroline glossed over that fact.

Meaning that there was a good chance she and Kara met before the Nathan James left port.

Another instance of Danny not including Mark in his life? Or, perhaps, another time when Mark didn't ask the right questions.

"I enjoyed my time with Caroline as well," Kara said, a genuine smile on her face. Then she sobered. "And I'm so very sorry about the loss of your wife. Danny told me so many wonderful stories that I feel almost as though I knew her."

But Kara didn't know Joanne — she never would. Mark felt the now-familiar sting.

"Thank you. Also, in case Danny didn't pass this along, congratulations. I'm excited to become a grandfather," Mark added for good measure. He wondered how long they had been standing in the middle of the hallway. "I just arrived and was getting my bearings. Would you join me for dinner?"

Danny glanced at Kara, but she was the one to speak. "We actually just finished eating. But the two of you should spend some time together." She took a step away from Danny. "I'll be in our room when you're done."

That drew a frown, then Danny glanced at Mark, before his attention returned to his wife. "Are you sure?"

Kara leaned up, her hand touching Danny's cheek for a brief moment before she smiled. Mark felt his breath catch as he remembered Joanne doing the same thing.

"I'll be fine. Spend some time with your dad." Kara turned back to Mark. "Maybe we can have breakfast together in the morning. I assume that you're here for the public ceremony?"

Mark forced away thoughts of Joanne. "Breakfast would be wonderful. Although I'll have to check with Robin first to make sure..."

The second that the words were out of his mouth, Mark realized that he had made a mistake. A huge, potentially life-altering mistake. Danny's face froze, before going blank, an expression that Mark knew from experience did not bode well. Clearly, the name meant nothing to Kara, who was looking back and forth between the men with growing concern. Danny forced a smile, one that didn't appear to fool Kara any more than it did Mark. "You go on. I want to talk to my Dad for a minute."

Kara looked as though she might say something, before she nodded and disappeared down the hall. Mark wanted to check what room she went into, but he didn't dare look away from Danny, who was standing with arms over his chest, watching Kara move down the hall until a door closed. Then Danny's gaze shifted back to Mark.

Clearly furious.

"Why exactly is Robin here?"

For the first time, Mark understood how Danny handled his team. He hadn't raised his voice or said anything inappropriate, yet Mark knew — without a doubt — that his son was furious. He considered the best approach. "Since you've already eaten, why don't we go downstairs to the bar?"

For a moment, he was afraid that Danny was going to refuse. Then Danny nodded shortly, turning on his heel and striding down the hall. When he was forced to wait for Mark at the elevator, Mark spoke again. "You know Commander Barker, I assume?"

There was a slight hesitation. "Yup."

"His oldest son has autism," Mark continued. He glanced at Danny, who again nodded. Good, at least he wouldn't think that Mark was making it up. Vicky mentioned that the Barkers were close with Kara, but Mark hadn't known whether Danny was familiar with their situation. "The only way for Vicky Barker to come see her husband was to have someone come along to watch Zander during the ceremony tomorrow. Robin volunteered."

Danny waited until they were inside the elevator to speak, his voice softer. "That's nice of her. Alex didn't think his wife would make it."

There was a pause while they stepped into the lobby. One, Mark immediately realized, that was filled with Navy personnel when person after person greeted Danny by name while giving Mark curious, if mostly friendly, glances. Not stopping to introduce his father to anyone, Danny made a beeline for the hotel bar, even bypassing Sasha Cooper — who was one of the few people here Mark had actually met in the past. She was standing with Captain Chandler, his children and father, as well as a blonde woman Mark didn't recognize. Catching sight of Sasha reminded Mark of something he wanted to ask. "Are the guys here?"

"Yes," Danny replied. "Although Steve and Jay decided to drive to Quantico tonight and see how it looks." He paused, forehead wrinkling. "Did Missy come? If she's here I need to call Steve and..."

"She wasn't on the bus," Mark interrupted. He paused, before adding. "She seemed a little nervous about seeing Steve."

Danny sighed, but said nothing, continuing weaving his way towards the tables. A minute later they were seated at a hightop, a frazzled server coming over to take their order. Mark was amused when his distraction turned to instant awe upon seeing Danny.

"Strange having a celebrity for a son," Mark joked after the man finally left. Danny shifted in his seat, appearing uncomfortable. Before he could say more, their beers arrived, the server having apparently run to the bar and back without pause. "But apparently there are benefits. I've never had a drink arrive so quickly." Mark held his glass up. "Congratulations on becoming a dad. Cheers."

That brought a smile to Danny's face as he lifted his own glass, clicking it against Mark's glass and then draining half the glass. He set down his glass, and when he looked up he looked so young that Mark was transported twenty years in the past. "I'm thrilled but...I'm also terrified."

Mark chuckled, taking a more moderate sip of his own drink. "That, my boy, is how you know that you'll be a great dad. You're already worrying about the kid. And, in case you're wondering, that doesn't go away."

Danny's eyes snapped to Mark, narrowing slightly. "I'm fine Dad. Doc cleared me weeks ago."

"Which I'm happy to hear, but it doesn't really change anything," Mark replied.

Another beer appeared at Danny's elbow. The server nodded over his shoulder. "Compliments of the group at the entrance."

Danny lifted the glass, tipping it at the group before taking a sip. Mark smiled. "Another benefit, I suppose."

"I'm taking a desk job." The words came out fast and jerky, as though Danny was in a rush to get them out. He didn't meet Mark's eyes. "I got a lot of time to think, when I was sick. Kara promised to let him spend time with you, and I know you would have done all the things that you did with me and Caro and Chris when we were little, but..."

Mark felt his throat tighten as he realized how sick Danny must have been to make such a request. "But?"

Danny took a deep breath. "But I want to see my little boy grow up. And I don't want him to worry every night that his father might not come home." He stopped, glancing around the room and then back at Mark. "I still can't believe that Mom's not here. I keep thinking about things that I want to ask her or talk to her about and she's just ... gone. I don't know how you're even functioning. You did everything together. Hell, you were practically attached at the hip."

Because he still had Danny, and Caroline and Chris.

His children who might just need him more now than they ever had before.

Funny, how that had never occurred to Mark. Sure, Chris still needed his father, but Chris was a teenager. And it was different with Caroline because she and Mark remained close over the years, even with her out of the house and living her own life. If asked six months ago, Mark would have laughed at the idea that Danny needed his father for anything. Now, however, Mark could see how wrong he had been.

Maybe there was a way back to his son after all.

Mark thought about the ache in his chest that hadn't gone away, not for an instant, since she hung up the phone that last time. "I think about Joanne every day. Every single day. And then I go on with life, because that's what she would have wanted."

Danny's eyes were hard. "If something happened to Kara, I'd kill everyone responsible."

There was something chilling about the statement, something that made Mark suspect that Danny meant every word. Mark thought about how angry he had been for the last few months — at the world, at Danny, at Joanne. Perhaps he had more in common with his son than he realized. "She dedicated her life to helping others. She died doing what she loved. I have to accept that."

"I know. But that doesn't..."

Another beer appeared, interrupting whatever Danny was about to say. "Compliments of the man by the piano."

Again Danny lifted the glass, tipping it in the man's direction and taking a sip before turning back to Mark. But Mark could tell that the moment had passed, Danny clearly back in control of himself. "I'm sorry I overreacted about Robin. I know you wouldn't do that to Mom."

Mark nodded, considering what to say as he finished his beer. "I was in shock, Danny, after Joanne died. I didn't have a clue what to do. The hospital was in chaos. The school was shut down. Everyone was quarantined. I couldn't ... function. Robin understood because she'd been through it. She took charge, for lack of a better description. That's all there is."

Danny laughed suddenly, but the sound was wry. "I was angry at you for not going to the safe zone until I added Robin and Rebecca to the list. I was stuck in the Arctic pulling twenty-hour days trying to find a cure for this thing and you didn't seem to care whether you lived or died."

His throat suddenly dry, Mark reached across the table to take the second drink Danny was given, which was still half full. He debated for half a second before admitting, "I was angry too. I wanted you to come home. I wanted all three of you home. I kept thinking that if you were just there, I could keep you all safe. Robin was the one who told me that I was an idiot for not jumping at the chance to get to a safe zone with Chris."

"Dad." Danny seemed taken aback by the admission. Finally he added, "There was no way I could have gone home."

"I know," Mark cut him off, offering a quick smile. "I knew that even before we got off the phone. I was going to call someone and tell them that I changed my mind and we did want to go to the safe zone, but then you actually got Robin and Rebecca on the list."

Before Danny could answer, another beer arrived. Danny's face tightened as the server explained. "Compliments of the couple two tables over."

Once again, Danny lifted his glass and made eye contact, before turning back to Mark, his exasperation clear. Mark chuckled. "Maybe the bar wasn't the best place for this conversation."

"I guess not," Danny agreed, draining half the glass and setting it down, before reaching into his wallet to grab some bills to put on the table. "I should get back to Kara anyway. Meet you for breakfast?"

Mark finished his own beer and stood. They were waiting at the elevator when Danny suddenly looked over, smiling the brilliant smile that Mark had loved since Danny was a toddler. "I'm really glad that you're here."

Chapter Text

Mark stood at the edge of the crowd in the Rose Garden, watching as the President pinned a medal onto Danny's jacket and shook his hand, pausing to allow for pictures. Given the presence of multiple official photographers, Mark hadn't felt the need to fight the crowd to get a seat in the front row in order to get his own pictures. Or, at least, that was what Mark told himself when he snapped this spot half hidden beneath a tree only a half dozen steps from the gate.

Danny's face remained stoic throughout the ceremony, although Mark did notice the corners of his mouth quirk when he rejoined Kara after receiving his medal. The two barely touched, no more than Danny's hand brushing her back as they moved through the crowd, but there was something about the way that Danny looked at Kara that almost pierced the numbness Mark had felt since the moment he woke up this morning. Kara was glowing — her pride in her husband obvious — and Mark couldn't help but think of the day that Joanne graduated from medical school, having learned that she was pregnant with Danny only days before. Back then, they thought that they had their lives all planned out and, for the most part, things had worked out exactly as they wanted. Joanne got her first-choice residency, Danny and Caroline arrived eighteen months apart, and Mark worked his way up from teacher to principal. Chris wasn't part of the original plan, but they had agreed that adding a third child was exactly what they needed. Their children were happy and healthy. Danny was married and Caroline was engaged. They even had a long awaited grandchild on the way! In another universe, today would have been one of the happiest moments of Mark's life. His son was being honored by the President of the United States. And yet...none of it mattered.

Because Joanne wasn't there to see it.

Worse, Mark couldn't stop thinking about all of the other events that Joanne would be missing. Chris's high school graduation, the birth of Danny and Kara's baby, Caroline's wedding to Javier.

Would he ever be able to enjoy anything again?

Or would each event be just another reminder of all that had been stolen from Joanne?

And from him.

Mark blinked as the crowd around him began to shift, realizing that the ceremony must have ended. Scanning the crowd, he located Danny and Kara speaking with the Barkers. Although Mark had never officially met Alex Barker, he felt that he knew the man after spending so much time over the past few months with Zander and was pleased to see Vicky there, clinging to her husband's arm, her smile brilliant. He hoped that the family had been able to spend some time together last night. As a man Mark recognized, thanks to Nathan James Watch, as Carlton Burk joined the small group, Mark turned towards the gate to the garden. There was no need for him to stay when there were so many other people to offer their congratulations. He would find Danny later.

"Ah, young love," said a gravelly voice to Mark's left. "It reminds me of the day I met my wife over fifty years ago."

Turning back towards the crowd, Mark found himself face-to-face with Jed Chandler. Wondering how the other man crossed the crowded garden so quickly, Mark responded. "Mr. Chandler. I mean, General Chandler. Hello."

"Just Jed, please," the man interrupted. He gestured towards the crowd. "Pretty sure that your son doesn't see a single person here except for Kara. I heard a rumor that they're going to have a second wedding ceremony."

The words felt like a stab. Danny hadn't mentioned anything to Mark, either during their conversation last night or at breakfast this morning. Although Mark could admit that breakfast had been a bit strained, with Mark struggling to make conversation as what felt like half the world trooped by their table to say hello or congratulations or to thank Danhy and Kara for their service. Even worse had been when Berchem swung by and Mark accidentally referred to Missy as his wife rather than his ex in an effort to avoid mentioning Rebecca and, in attempting to correct the error, managed to also mention Danny's ex-girlfriend. While Berchem brushed off the faux pas with a laugh and quip about too many wives to keep track of all of them, Mark knew it was the kind of mistake that Joanne would never have made. The realization that Mark was now in charge of remembering every detail of his children's lives for the next forty years felt exhausting. At least Danny had taken it in stride when Robin stopped by their table, all of their attention focused on Zander — who dubbed Danny a "duplicate Daddy" before promptly dismissing him and turning his attention to Kara, demanding that she read him The Lady Who Swallowed A Fly — while Robin filled Mark in on her plans for the day.

Glancing at the gate regretfully, Mark forced a smile and deflected Jed's question, not wanting to admit that he knew nothing about a second wedding. "You must be proud of your son. He's been promoted to Admiral."

"Of course." Jed's nonchalance suggested to Mark that Jed hadn't learned about the promotion today. The man definitely had connections. "Did I ever tell you that I lost my wife when Tom was in his twenties?"

Mark's eyes narrowed, a flash of anger as he realized why Jed had sought him out. "Did Danny ask you to talk to me?"

"Nope, Danny didn't tell me a damn thing," Jed replied, before adding. "But the fact that you asked tells me all I need to know about how things are going between the two of you." Jed leaned closer, his voice dropping. "You've got a good kid, Green. Good kids, plural, from what I've heard about Caroline and seen of Chris. But if you don't figure out how to get your shit together, you're going to drive them away. Trust me, I know. Tom didn't talk to me for years after his mother died."

Mark blinked, feeling disoriented from the unexpected swing of the conversation, Jed's words making no sense. From what everyone said, Jed Chandler was incredibly close with his son and grandchildren. Hell, the man apparently was watching Sam and Ashely for the summer while their mother was at some sort of special retreat before the Red Flu hit, which is how they ended up in a safe zone together. There was no way this man could understand the tension that existed between Mark and Danny — either now or before Joanne...

Tom didn't talk to Jed for years after his mother died.

The words hit like a blow.

Was that the future Mark was looking at?

Was that what Jed was saying?

As abruptly as it arrived, Mark's anger faded away, leaving him numb. Last night, Mark had felt that he and Danny connected, maybe even repaired some of the damage done over the years of separation and strain. But this morning the tension had come rolling back, the two of them tripping around each other without Joanne or Caroline to play middleman. Besides, just because Mark wanted to bridge the gap, didn't mean that Danny did.

Or that it was even possible.

But Jed wasn't done talking. "After I lost my Sylvia, I was pissed at the world. Scratch that. I was more than pissed. I was furious that she was stolen from me."

Stolen from him.

Exactly the way that Mark felt about Joanne.

Furious at the world.

"It took me almost a year to realize that being angry wasn't going to change a damn thing," Jed continued. "But, by then, I had driven both my boys away."

Mark didn't realize that Jed had another son. As though he could read Mark's thoughts, Jed chuckled. "My older son, John, is more like his mother. Once I straightened up — and sobered up, since I'm not one for half measures — he forgave me. Tommy, though, he's like me and stubborn to a fault. He and Sasha split around that time and I said some things that I shouldn't have. I should have been there for him. Instead, I had to wait years for another opportunity to connect with my son."

Mark's head was spinning as he tried to process what Jed was saying, what he was trying to tell Mark about his relationship with Danny. Because one thing Mark was certain of, and it was that Jed wasn't a rambler. No, this was a man on a mission. Mark wryly remembered how many times he tried to "befriend" his high school students in an effort to lead them to a desired result. He suspected that he was feeling exactly the same way as they were at the moment.

"Um, Jed, I don't know..."

But the man wasn't done. He drew himself up, pinning Mark with his gaze, leaving Mark in no doubt that Jed had, in fact, been career military and damn good at his job. "Be angry if you want. I'm not going to tell you not to be angry. Hell, be angry at me for being a busybody. But when it comes to your kids, you're going to have to set that anger aside. Because Danny's moving on to a new part of his life and if you miss this chance to connect, you may not get another one."

"I know."

Apparently, those were the two words necessary to stop Jed in his tracks. "You know?"

Mark smiled wryly at Jed's bemusement. "I barely know my son anymore. I know that this is my chance to fix that and I'm screwing it up because all I can think about is how unfair it is that Joanne isn't here with me." He glanced at Danny. "But knowing doesn't make it easier."

"That's where you're wrong, son," Jed replied, and Mark felt another spark of amusement at being called "son" by a man not that much older than he was. "Knowing your enemy always gives you the advantage."

That sounded like something Danny would say, meaning that it was most likely a quote from some military leader or another. Seeing the crowd at the front breaking up and Danny glancing in his direction, Mark was about to excuse himself when something occurred to him. "You said that Admiral Chandler stopped speaking to you. How did the two of you work through that?"

For the first time, Jed's lips tightened. "I got lucky and unlucky — my grandson almost died."

Mark opened his mouth, then paused, uncertain of how to respond. "What happened?"

"Sam was a preemie, he came early," Jed explained. "Darien had a hysterectomy and was in the hospital for weeks, and Tom was running between her room and the NICU. But, for the first time since he was a kid, Tommy needed me. Hell, not me. He needed a warm body. But John was overseas and Darien's family was already taking shifts at the hospital. So I offered to take care of Ashley and Tommy was desperate enough to say yes. Once they got home, I kept helping. People like to talk a lot about doing stuff with your kids. But I don't think any of that matters. What matters is being there for your kids when they need you."

Mark thought about the night before, how easily the conversation flowed when he and Danny were talking about the baby. Mark glanced at his son, watching as Danny's hand rose to touch Kara's back before dropping down again. But this time, instead of the past, Mark imagined a future. "Maybe you're right."

"Of course I'm right," Jed retorted, before grinning and slapped Mark on the back. Hard. "Now, let's go find the youngsters."

Chapter Text

Danny's chair was tipped back, his legs propped on the edge of a small table, when Mark walked into the room assigned to The Groom. Upon seeing Mark, Danny's chair crashed to the floor, the way it used to when Danny was a teenager and constantly in trouble for breaking the furniture.

Mark made a mental note to warn Kara.

"Dad." Danny's brow wrinkled. "Is everything okay?"

"As far as I know," Mark replied, hoping that his nose wasn't still red. Robin had reassured him a dozen times that he looked fine and even if people could tell that he had been crying, nobody was likely to think that it was due to anything other than his son getting married. Still, Mark didn't want to upset Danny — not today. This might be a redo for half of the people here, but for Mark, this was still Danny's wedding day. This was special. "Kara's friend Alisha seems to have everything well in hand."

That brought a smirk from Danny, as well as laughter from the others gathered in the small room. Mark glanced around, recognizing most of those present. He had been introduced to Danny's team years ago, although Mark had always taken a backseat to Joanne when it came to writing letters and putting together care packages. While Mark had been front and center when the school did supply drives for the military, he always claimed that, as school principal, he needed to make sure not to show favoritism. Abruptly, Mark wondered what kind of message that sent to Danny.

That he was no different than anyone else, even to his own father.

Funny how he had never thought about that before. Actually, there were a lot of things that he had never considered. If it wasn't for Jed, Mark never would have considered how lucky he was that Danny was still talking to him after he refused to go to the safe zone that Danny risked his life to secure and then insisted that Danny find a way to get his ex-girlfriend and her mother on the list. Seeing it through Jed's eyes, Mark understood how lucky he was, not only because his son was alive, but also seemed to want to rebuild their relationship.

"Why are you here then?" Danny asked, before adding. "Not that I don't want to see you. Do you want a drink?"

Frankie gestured towards a table filled with a variety of beer bottles and cans. "Green insists on staying sober in case he forgets his vows. As if this wasn't the third time he was saying them."

Third?

But the gesture that Danny gave Frankie in response to the comment suggested that the comment was the subject of an inside joke. Mark decided to focus on his reason for being here. Pulling a small, black bag out of his pocket, Mark walked over to Danny. "I wanted to give you this."

Danny tipped the bag over, emptying it into his hand. His head jerked up to stare at Mark. "Is this Mom's ring?"

"Yes." Mark found his eyes suddenly wet — again — and blinked the tears away. "Your mom would have wanted you to have it. Not for Kara," he rushed to add before there could be a misunderstanding. Mark had seen the bands that Danny and Kara already wore, and fully approved of them finding something that they both loved. "But so you have a piece of your mother to take with you."

Danny was silent as they both stared at the ring, and when he spoke his voice was husky. "Are you sure that you want me to give this?"

Mark had spent the morning wrestling with that question but now, at this moment the answer was clear. "Yes. I thought maybe you could put it on a chain. As a reminder of how much the world needs helpers."

"Like Mom." The words were a whisper.

"Like you," Mark corrected, his own voice soft. He glanced over at Caroline, before returning his focus to his son, hoping that Caroline would understand his decision to give Joanne's ring to Danny. "Of the three of you, you're the one that reminds me the most of Joanne. Not the way you look, but how you see the world. Your Mom would have been so happy today. Happy and proud. You've grown up to be an amazing man and you're going to be a wonderful husband and father." He paused, chuckling. "Well, I guess you're already a husband, but you know what I mean."

Danny's eyes shone, although he too was fighting the tears. "Thank you, Dad."

Mark reached out a hand, settling it on Danny's shoulder. "I'm proud of you, Danny. So proud. I hope that you know that."

"I miss her too," Danny whispered. "So much. I hate that she'll never get to meet Kara. Never get to meet her grandson."

The words caused an almost crippling ache. It was impossible to believe that Joanne would never get to see this version of their son, the one where he blossomed into a fuller version of himself, a version that included a wife and children. But even as he felt the anger forming, Mark shoved it aside. Because today wasn't about Joanne or even Mark.

It was about Danny.

Today was Danny taking the first step towards his own future.

A future that Mark wanted to be a part of.

"I know," Mark's voice was gruff. "I hate it too."

Yet Mark felt his anger fading away as Danny slid off his dog tags, carefully working Joanne's ring onto the chain and then placing it back around his neck. Because Joanne might not be here, but part of her still was.

In Danny.

And, instead of making Mark angry, he found himself smiling.

He wasn't going to waste this moment with his son wishing for something that could never be.

"Mr. Green, there you are." Mark, like everyone else, turned to see Alisha Granderson standing at the door. The woman might be small, but she definitely had a presence. "If you're ready, we're trying to get everyone seated."

Mark leaned over to squeeze Danny's shoulder. "Good luck with those vows."

Danny stood, surprising Mark when he pulled him in for a tight hug. A moment later Danny stepped back, smoothing down his jacket and tugging an index card from his sleeve. Danny grinned at Mark cheekily, the way he used to do when he was a boy. "Cheat sheet. I learned from the best."

Mark was chuckling as he left the room, following Alisha Granderson to his seat.

Knowing that he had just taken the first step towards the rest of his life.

Not, certainly, the life that Mark would have chosen, but the life that he still had. One that was filled with people he loved. Mark nodded to Javier, who was saving a seat for Cariline, before slipping into his own seat next to Chris. Mark reached over to straighten the teenager's tie. "Pay attention. This will be you before you know it."

Chris snorted. "Not likely."

Yet even as he said the words, the boy was looking in the direction of Whitney Slattery. Hiding a smile, Mark sent out a prayer that, if Joanne was out there listening, she could see her children.

Happy and healthy and loved.

It was exactly what she had always wanted.