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“Today I encountered… myself”.
Written in a messy handwriting, those words stared directly at Tatsuya. He didn’t mean to snoop around Maya’s belongings, that’s for sure, but after seeing it layed out in the open like that, he couldn’t help himself. After all, is there anything in Maya’s apartment that is where it’s supposed to be?
Having spent so much time battling their shadow selves inside the temples, everyone was in need of a break. Not wanting to see his brother, and much less talk to him, Tatsuya decided to tag along with his big sis and spend some time in her apartment. However, he regretted it as soon as he was reminded of how much of a mess it was.
With her usual smile, and not noticing the frown in Tatsuya’s face, Maya told him to wait for her while she showered and to “make himself home”. Thinking that it was much easier said than done, the boy started looking for a place where he could at least lay down (the bed was full of Maya’s dirty laundry, for some reason). And that’s how he ended up in that situation.
Honestly, he didn’t take Maya for the kind of person who kept a diary. He doesn’t mean it in a bad way, it’s just… it’s Maya nee-san, the girl who would lose her own head if it weren’t attached to her shoulders. Moreover, someone so cheery and happy doesn’t seem like she would spend time reflecting on her actions, you know? That just helped to spark Tatsuya’s curiosity even more. What would his big sis have to say that no one, not even her closest friends like Mayuzumi-san or Serizawa-san, were allowed to know?
Maybe it was because he was too tired to think rationally. Or maybe his curiosity was too big for him to control himself. But, careful so he didn’t get caught red-handed, Tatsuya started reading what was written in front of him.
“Today I encountered… myself.
I didn’t want to believe it. It was so sudden, seeing her… seeing me like that. It seems like she sneaked into the group when we broke apart to avoid rumors. I guess we were too late, huh? It’s funny. Just my luck.”
Something felt off. Was this really cheery, positive Maya nee-san? The big sis he knows wouldn’t say this, never. Oh, but… maybe she would write and think about it.
“When I noticed, I ran as soon as possible to where everyone said they were. I was lucky, this city’s obsession with rumors was finally of some use. I had to run, I just had to. What did she tell them? What did she say? I can’t stand thinking about it. They mustn’t know. Even now, I’m afraid to ask.”
Tatsuya was confused. Didn’t Maya say that everything her shadow said was just a bunch of lies? Not wanting to doubt her, he instantly took the real Maya’s side. However, he did meet his own shadow recently and, as much as he hates to admit it, nothing it said was foreign to him. They were his innermost thoughts and feelings, which he tried to hide as much as possible. Was this also true for Maya nee-san?
“They were in the depths of Mt. Iwato when I met them. Crap, it was too late. They remembered. And I confirmed my deepest fears. They really were them, all of them. The ones who forgot me, the ones I resented so much for keeping me locked inside their memories… I should be happy, or at least relieved. But I wasn’t. I’m not. And she knew that.”
“.....” Tatsuya was speechless. So, all this time, Maya nee-san…
“I threw her off, I just kept insisting. Denying it. She was not me. She cannot be me. I need to be stronger, I need to be a much better person. These kids need me, for goodness’ sake! I must be more mature. I must. Someone needs to be the better person, I can’t keep being this selfish little girl. I…”
Some water stains made the blurry handwriting even blurrier. They were likely tears, Tatsuya knew that.
“I just don’t want to be forgotten. Please.”
The door to the bathroom made some noises. Quickly, Tatsuya threw the book to the ground, hoping that its owner was too distracted to notice it. With a towel wrapping her head, Maya stepped out with her usual smile, happily sighing to herself.
“Finally! Man, I really needed that shower! All good on your side, Tatsuya? I know it’s a little messy in here, but you get used to it!”
The woman sat on her bed, looking directly at Tatsuya, who wasn’t quite sure what to say. Should he say something at all? Once again, he looked at Maya’s big, radiant smile.
“C’mon! Aren’t you gonna shower? I swear everything is cleaner there! Ulala gets really mad if I don’t make sure the bathroom is all tidy, since we have to share it and all.”
“.... Yeah. I’ll shower.”, said Tatsuya. If Maya nee-san didn’t want anyone to know it, then he shouldn’t pry her into telling him. At least, that’s what he decided was the best option. Without saying anything else, the boy stood up and entered the bathroom, ready to try and relax before their next battle. There was no doubt that it was gonna be a hard one, but he had faith in himself and in his friends. They would not be defeated.
“... and I won’t forget you, Maya nee-san. I promise.”