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The door swung open and Ashley cautiously but swiftly stepped in.
“Jake?” She called, “what did you say you wanted me to talk to you about?”
Earlier that day Ashley had gotten a call from Jake about something he never specified, but she knew exactly what this was about. He had called her about the same thing a few months ago, about how he broke down way too hard after a nightmare about his abusive ex. He had managed to calm down from that but the damage had already been done. He called Ashley about what he did and they stayed up until morning video chatting. Jake felt horrible about it but Ashley had been fully willing to stay up all night for him. But that time she was still down in Texas, a whole other country. Today Ashley was in Canada, on a trip to spend time with Lill since they haven’t seen each other in a long time, so when Jake called her about what happened she decided to just come over there to see him. Jake told her he was just fine with talking on call since he didn’t wanna ruin her vacation but she was insistent on coming over to his house.
Ashley heard a creak to her left and saw Jake standing in the hallway, miserable expression, tear stained face, slightly swaying, almost as if he was struggling to stand up, and most notably; a small stream of blood trickling down his palm.
Just as Ashley ran up to him he felt himself lose balance and collapsed in her arms. She was willing to just sit on the rough carpet floor with him in her arms while trying to calm him down but she knew he deserved a more comfortable place to rest. She helped him over to the couch where he slumped down on it.
“How bad is it this time?” She asked.
Jake opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out, so he closed his mouth and looked away in shame. Ashley gently grabbed his hand and pulled his sleeve up, revealing eight dark red slits adorning his arm. Most of them were small but two really deep cuts in particular were the source of the blood streams seeping down his hand.
Ashley felt like she was about to throw up.
“Where do you keep your medical supplies?”
Jake felt really lightheaded but he managed to answer.
“Th… the cabinet... over the fridge…”
Ashley swiftly made her way over to the fridge to find disinfectant and bandages. Once she did she rushed back over to Jake, who was on the verge of passing out, and started tending to his wounds.
“Do you have any on your other arm?” Ashley asked.
“No, I don’t.”
Ashley believed him but wanted to check once she was done anyways.
Jake felt like he was already getting a little better as his friend tried to disinfect his wounds, at least enough to form more coherent sentences. The cold liquid on the cotton ball stung as it touched his wrist but he didn’t have it in him to do any more than just wince ever so slightly and exhale a little faster than usual.
“I’m sorry, Ash.”
“Jake, you don’t need to apologize, I’m always happy to be here for you.”
The room went quiet again and the silence was blaring.
Once Ashley had finished disinfecting his cuts, she grabbed the bandages and tried to break the stillness.
“So what happened this time?”
Jake wanted to answer but he couldn’t bring himself to.
“Is this about your abuser? I know he fucked you up, but he died in prison over a year ago, he’s not gonna come back to g-“
“It was about Tom.”
The room fell silent again.
“Oh” was all that Ashley could bring herself to say. She didn’t want the risk of another loud hush amongst the room so she asked about it.
“why were you… what… what... did he... uhhhh...?”
She didn’t know how to phrase her question but Jake got the gist.
“I found his old mask while cleaning up. I thought of our season and all the time we spent together. I thought of how he told me that I made him feel beautiful again even with his scars, how... how I lashed out at him for not telling me he’s a spy, how I betrayed him when I trusted Ellie’s word before listening to him... how I pushed him away and ruined everything we could’ve had-“
“Jake,” Ashley interrupted sternly. “It’s been three years, you need to get over him!”
“Ash, you don’t understand, I hurt him and pushed him away so far that he lied about having a boyfriend just so he wouldn’t have to talk to me or Miriam. I am over him Ash, I’m just not over what I did to him!”
His breaking voice was accompanied by more hot tears rolling down his cheeks. Ashley paused her patching her friend up and pulled him into a tight hug.
“Jake… don’t blame yourself for this, if Tom wasn’t able to talk to you once over the course of two years then he is not worth the trouble.”
She pulled away from Jake and kissed his cheek.
“You don’t need to keep blaming yourself for all of this. It’s over. We all need to move on, and it’s only gonna hurt more the more you think about it.”
Once Ashley finished wrapping his arm he leaned on her to rest his head on her shoulder.
“Thanks for everything, Ash.” He said meekly.
Ashley stroked his hair gently.
“I’m happy to help.”
For a while they just sat like that. Alshey laying down on the arm of the couch with Jake on her shoulder. For once the hush that fell upon them was comfortable and welcoming. Jake spent the time silently promising to himself and his best friend that he would never do this to himself again. Ashley, who felt like a huge weight was lifted off her chest, was thinking about what she was gonna do to make sure he doesn’t hurt himself again, then the most obvious answer hit her.
“Where’s the nearest hospital?” She asked.
Jake looked up at her. He didn’t want to respond but he knew this really was the best option. He felt much better but he was still dizzy and lightheaded.
“I’ll give you directions.” He answered.
Ashley stood up and offered to help Jake up.
“Good, I’ll still be in town when you get out!”
“Don’t stay here and miss your flight home just for me, I promise I’ll be fine…” Jake said, feeling guilty.
“No, I mean I won’t be leaving till next week, silly goose!” She said light heartedly to lighten the mood. “Now are you able to walk better?”
Jake stood up to follow Ashley and tried walking again. He got a good distance before he fell to his knees again.
“It’s alright bro, I can carry you if you want!”
The waiting room was cold. At least it felt that way. Ashley was holding the hand on Jake’s wounded arm while they waited in silence. In the car on the way they had talked about letting Jake stay in a mental institution for a few days, but he immediately declined, saying his last experience with that went horribly, so they agreed on just a few days at a regular hospital.
Ashley didn’t wanna say it but she had been panicking the whole time.
“Jake?”
He turned to face her.
“I’m aware they probably won’t let you have your phone here, so just know I’ll come to visit you whenever I can. I promise I won’t leave you alone here, so please don’t do anything stupid.”
Jake smiled weakly and laid his head on her shoulder.
“I won’t, I promise.”
A few minutes later a nurse walked in and called Jake’s name. He and Ashley stood up and embraced before he could leave.
“I love you.” He whimpered.
“I love you too.” The blonde replied.
They released each other's grasp as Jake joined the nurse.
Three days had passed since the incident and Jake had been released. Ashley had been anxiously waiting in the parking lot for an hour before she saw him walking out. She immediately started up the car and drove to the entrance. Jake ran over to the car and jumped in to hug her tightly.
“So, how’d it go?” The blonde asked.
“It went well but god it was sooooo boring!” Jake replied. “Like I got the occasional visitor, some magazines, a tv that only played game shows and Disney junior, and that was it!”
Ashley chuckled along with him.
“Well at least you’re doing better!”
“Yeah, I… I feel a lot better…”
”Are you sure…?”
”Yeah I am, just a bit tired… and hungry.”
Ashley started the car again before making her way out of the parking lot.
“So you wanna go get lunch or something?” Ashley asked.
“Please, Ash, I need to get the taste of hospital food out of my mouth!”
The two of them laughed and drove off