Archive of Our Own

Chan always wished to be the brightest star, but that wish never came true. 

Even so, life still goes on. Chan, whose MBTI ends with a J, relied on routines to cope with the entirety of life. Wake up early, head to dad's dance studio, teach some young aspiring dancers if it's a weekend, meet up with Soonyoung, practise their choreography together, record their dance routine, close up the dance studio, go home, sleep early, and repeat. One may call Chan's life monotonous, but as long as Chan is comfortable and can do the things he loves, Chan is content.

At this point of the day, Chan will meet up with Soonyoung to practise their dance routine. However, instead of Soonyoung doing warm-ups in front of the mirror with the familiar irritatingly annoying song in the background, the only sound in the dance studio was Soonyoung's voice speaking through the phone. As he waited for the call to finish, Chan did his warmups while glancing at Soonyoung occasionally. Honestly, Chan was not paying attention to what Soonyoung was saying. The reason behind this was all because of Soonyoung. Whenever Chan did his warmups, the only voice he could hear in his head was, "Ring ding dong ring ding dong~"

“We've gotten a dance commission!” Soonyoung's ecstatic voice overpowered the noise in Chan's brain. 

Chan blinked twice at Soonyoung, standing up as he asked, “And you look excited about it because?”

“It's HYBE that contacted us!”

“HYBE?” Confusion rocked Chan, the capitalised letters unfamiliar on his tongue. After mouthing the letters, his mouth formed an o as he commented, “Oh... That HYBE.”

“Exactly! THE HYBE! They're contacting us to help choreograph for one of their artists!” 

Chan raised an eyebrow, asking with a deadpan look, “You mean the big shot, the capitalist, the richest company in K-pop? The same company whose artists' merchandise are overpriced and underwhelming?”

“Yeah, that HYBE,” Soonyoung replied neutrally with a smile. “Just make sure you don't say that in front of our commissioners.”

“Why not? It's not like they're trying to hide that fact. Besides, constructive criticism is what leads to improvement.”

“We're just going there to work as outsiders, so it's still not a good idea to talk bad about someone's business practices.” Soonyoung eyed Chan from top to bottom with a visible frown on his face. “You don't look excited about this.”

“Oh yes, I'm certainly excited to work in such a 'well renowned' company,” Chan replied sarcastically while airing quotation marks. 

“Come on, Channie. Think of the positives, we get to work with the biggest artists in the industry! I don’t know the group we're working with though, I think they're called Tomorrow by... Something.”

From the first word, Chan could immediately confirm that it was a group he had never heard of. “That's because you only know SHINee, who's like, maybe 10 years ago?”

Soonyoung gasped loudly with both hands covering his mouth. “Ten years? Ten years?! It's been 13 years since SHINee debuted. And could you blame me? Their discography is still amazing even after 13 years! You should speak for yourself, at least my idol isn't some dead man whose last song is somewhere in the 90s.”

At the simple words of "dead man", Chan glared at Soonyoung. “He's not just some dead man! He's Michael Jackson! The king of pop! The one who reinvented the wheel! Also, his last song is Best of Joy from 2009, so technically, it's not in the 90s. And also—”

“Anyways!” Soonyoung quickly cut in with his signature loud voice which was no match against Chan's. “That's not the main point. It's not the company, not the artists, but the sum they offered was what made me consider this commission.”

“Sounds like you already accepted the offer. How much did they tell you, exactly?”

Soonyoung took out his phone and tapped some buttons on his screen, brows furrowing in concentration. After about ten seconds, he showed the screen to Chan, which showed the calculator app and some calculations Chan didn't bother analysing. “If my Math hadn't failed me yet, it would be about this much.”

Chan squinted at the screen, crescent moons turning to wide saucers when he looked at the amount. “That's... A lot of zeros!”

“My point exactly! Do you think I'm going to pass up such a golden opportunity?! It's not like we earn much from our daily jobs. I don't think we're making much from HOSHI×DINO, regular commissions and your dad doesn’t even pay us much, but this is the first time someone offered this much money to our commission!” Soonyoung's loud voice reverberated through the room once more. “As much as I hate the company, we're still slaves to capitalism, so we need that money somehow.”

“Hey! My dad pays us enough, all right?” Chan came to his dad’s defence while laughing. “Still, I get your point. I'm joining you, right?”

“Are you still asking this? It'll always be HOSHI×DINO, the dynamic duo of our high school's dance team!”

Chan avoided eye contact while clearing his throat. “Anyway, what exactly do they want us to do?”

“The usual. We need to work face to face with the idols, come up with ideas for their dance for their latest track, and also help teach them the choreography. So technically, we need to be physically there for about 2 months.”

“I think I know where this is going.”

“They want us to be in Seoul, and they told us to leave as soon as possible. Preferably, we arrive within this week.”

“Yeah, obviously. So when are we leaving for Seoul?”

“Tomorrow,” Soonyoung replied in a composed manner. 

“To... Tomorrow?!” It was moments like these that Soonyoung's P started showing. “What about our transport? Accommodation? And our stuff? Our cover of Astronaut in the Ocean? Not even telling mom and dad first?!”

“One, I have a perfectly functioning car and a legit driver's license. Two, I heard Kwan got a new place. Three, we can always pack them later, I don't think it'll take that long for you to pack.”

“We'll-we'll, we'll be gone for two months!”

“And I don't think you're going to pack two months' worth of clothes, Channie. Seungkwan's place should have a washing machine. Considering the profession he's in, he should have one!”

“Or you could just text him and ask if he has one,” Chan sighed. 

“Okay, I'll ask him that, and whether we can stay over or not. Anyways, fourth, we can get the recording of Astronaut in the Ocean done by today, and we will upload it in the next few days. And fifth, your mom and dad will definitely encourage you to go.”

Chan sighed once more but with a smile on his face. “Knowing my parents, they'd scold me if I gave up on this opportunity. So yeah, Dino is joining you.”

*******

“Alright, thank you once again, miss,” Chan replied with a smile after the staff had told them where to go. Thanks to the staff's given directions and Soonyoung's better sense of direction, both choreographers headed off deeper into this huge "well-renowned" company. 

The interior of the building was a huge nuisance. See, the walls around them were in the same shade of grey, with neither numbers nor arrows to guide them to their destination. Whoever was in charge of the design should consider changing professions, because who in their right mind would think that a design like this would work?! Either that or said person in charge was smart and purposely designed it this way for security measures. If an intruder were to break in, let's say that escaping would not be easy. 

Fortunately, Soonyoung remembered the staff's words, thinking out loud, “Third room to our right.” Chan followed Soonyoung, internally grateful for the elder's presence. Otherwise, if Chan were the only person in this godforsaken building, he would be here all day. 

Once they reached the front of the supposed room, Chan knocked on the door. After hearing a "Come in" from the other end, Soonyoung opened the door and took the lead. In that room, there sat five younger attractive boys with their backs straightened, and an older man at the far end of the table. Chan and Soonyoung both politely bowed with client-friendly smiles on their faces. 

“Greetings. I'm Dino or Chan,” Chan introduced himself first, his signature work smile on full show.

Despite not giving visible cues, Soonyoung stepped in and proceeded to do the rest of the talking, “Greetings as well. I'm Hoshi, also known as Soonyoung. We're both from HOSHI×DINO. It is a pleasure to meet you.” 

These boys were attractive, the faces one would see when passing by billboards or subway advertisements. Are they all idols? But then again, having faces like that doesn't necessarily mean they’re idols. 

The boys were looking at them, most curious about the two new males who arrived. Amidst the five males, there was one male in particular who was staring at him. As Chan and this male made eye contact, Chan looked away within a split second, an unfamiliar feeling in his chest. Why does that particular male look familiar? Have they met before? 

Chan jumped when the PD clapped his hands together while standing up. The PD was shorter than him, but Chan kept the satisfaction of that discovery to himself. “Ah, if it isn't Soonyoung-ssi and Chan-ssi. I'm Jihoon, better known as Woozi, also known as the PD for this group. It's a pleasure to meet you both.” PD? Group? So these five other males are idols then... 

After shaking hands with the both of them, Woozi began guiding the two to their seats, gesturing to the idols, “Since everyone is here, why don't you boys introduce yourself first, then you can get going?”

As soon as Chan and Soonyoung sat down, the soft giant —even from sitting down, this boy towered over them— did hand signs along with the other four males. In practiced fashion, the idols bowed at Soonyoung and Chan, and greeted, “One dream! Hello, we are Tomorrow by Together!”

So their group name wasn't Tomorrow by something? Chan gave Soonyoung a glance of bewilderment. He looked back at the boys with a friendly smile and a nod. The name Tomorrow by Together... If Chan were to put the last of his sane brain cells to use, Chan would say he only heard that name once and maybe heard a few songs without knowing that they were the artists. 

The fresh black-haired male who led the greeting earlier introduced himself calmly, “I'm Soobin, leader of the group. It is a pleasure for us to work with you.”

“Likewise,” Soonyoung returned the sentiment, his polite smile never flailing. 

A male with longer darker hair and naturally handsome looks —their looks were all above average, but that's a given for this career— butted in the conversation by introducing himself cheerily with a wide grin, “Hi! I'm Beomgyu! It's nice to meet you guys!” This boy was either the token loud member of the group, or he was the mood maker. 

A blonde foreign-looking male gave a cute and shy smile as he said, “Hello, I'm Hueningkai.” Even when they were sitting down, this Hueningkai guy was way taller than Chan despite coming across as meek. Upon close observation, was Chan the second shortest person in this room? At least he's not the shortest. Despite the glaring height difference, Chan couldn't help but find the foreigner cute. 

A doe-eyed light brown-haired male, who reminded Chan of Prince Charming, also cut in once Hueningkai finished speaking, introducing himself politely, “I'm Taehyun.”

Chan got to know the boys from their introductions, smiling and nodding after each one. When it was the fifth male's turn to introduce himself, the male was staring at him. When the both of them made eye contact, Chan's heart skipped a beat. However, the intimidating feline male broke eye contact first this time, a flush of red colouring the male's face. Despite that, Chan captured his distinct features: three ear piercings on each side, prominent ears, thick eyebrows, downturned eyes with monolids, and pouty lips. These features were the same as him. Chan averted his gaze to the floor as he thought, there's no way it could be him, right?! What are the chances of running into him again after so long?! 

“Ah, sorry,” The feline boy called out, causing Chan to look up. The boy looked much more composed than before. However, from how the male fidgeted with his fingers, the intimidating facade from earlier had dissipated. The male cleared his throat, made eye contact with a small smile, and said, “I'm Choi Yeonjun, it's nice to meet y'all.”

Upon hearing that name, Chan nearly fell out of his chair. Choi Yeonjun? Chan immediately turned his head away, as the mantra "Oh my god" repeated in his head. THE CHOI YEONJUN?! 

Okay calm down, Chan's remaining sanity gave his brain a big slap. Maybe this Yeonjun he claimed to be was a different Choi Yeonjun. Maybe the characters of this Yeonjun don't share the same characters as the Yeonjun back then. Maybe they're two different people, who happen to share the same name and surname. As for their similar looks, there have been instances of strangers who look similar to each other, right? Maybe that's what's happening! Maybe this Yeonjun and the Yeonjun back then are doppelgangers, completely unrelated to each other! Maybe it's all just a coincidence that they share the same name and the same looks! 

“Lee Chan-ssi?”

Chan jumped at the mention of his name. His head swiftly turned around the room, finding that he, Soonyoung, and Woozi were the only ones left. Both were looking at Chan with concern, with Soonyoung placing a comforting hand on Chan's shoulder. Chan took a deep breath and cleared his throat. He bowed his head with a guilty look before continuing in a much calmer tone, “I apologise for zoning out. PD-nim was saying...?”

*******

“Are you feeling better now? You look like you've seen a ghost earlier, Channie,” Soonyoung commented as they were having dinner in a nearby hole-in-the-wall restaurant. 

“That's because I had just seen one, or at least I think I've seen a ghost of a ghost of my past...” Chan nodded and replied in an exaggerated shuddering breath as he hugged himself. 

“Hm...” Soonyoung looked at Chan contemplatively, a coy smile on his lips. “It's Yeonjun-ssi, isn't it?”

“How did you—”

“Why are you so surprised? You've mentioned him before in your dance school stories. Also, you aren't as good at hiding your expression as you think.”

Chan choked on his rice. A pat on his back and a few gulps of tea later, Chan asked mortifyingly, “You mean it was that obvious?”

“Clearly. I saw the other TXT members looking at the both of you with curiosity and obvious concern. If I were them, I wouldn't be surprised to think that the both of you had something going on.”

Chan nearly choked on his rice once more. Nearly. 

“In all seriousness, Channie, what was the kind of relationship the both of you had? I don't think you mentioned anything further than him being your dance partner.”

Chan's eyes were downcasted, looking contemplative for a moment, before he shoved a full chopstick of vegetables into his mouth.

“No way...” Soonyoung gasped, looking at Chan with surprise and concern. “Did you not have a good relationship with him?!”

“It's not that. It's just that, he has an attitude and can be quite difficult to deal with sometimes. He also used to say some weird things that used to hurt me and even make me uncomfortable. It's not that bad, though,” Chan replied like it was nothing, voice muffled due to the food in his mouth. 

“Please don't talk with your mouth full,” Soonyoung said as he gave Chan a side-eye. A faint line of anger in Soonyoung's brows wasn't easily noticeable from afar. “What kind of things did he say to you?” Soonyoung demanded. 

“Well... There was this one time he asked me to leave for no reason. As for the weirdest things he said, he had said stuff like 'If you were a vegetable, you'd be a cucumber', 'If you were a potato, you'd be a potato head', also there's this 'You look like trash. Let me take you out.'”

“He called you a potato head?! And he said you look like trash?!” Soonyoung raised his voice in shock, earning glances from the people around him for being the loudest person in the room. The both of them gave apologetic looks to the people around them. Fortunately, said people went back to minding their businesses. 

“But really I’m fine now, hyung,” Chan spoke first, his voice softer due to the commotion they had caused earlier. “What's in the past stays in the past. Besides, his words don't affect me at all now. Just think of it as silly things he said in the past.” To prove his point, Chan smiled reassuringly at Soonyoung. 

Soonyoung bought into Chan's smile, as he laughed, replying, “Give me more reasons to be harder on him.”

Chan laughed, taking a sip from his glass before replying, “Don't be too hard on him, he's still young.”

“When you put it this way, it sounds like the both of you aren't the same age.” 

Chan nearly spat out his tea. Fortunately, Chan swallowed the liquid down without any issue. “This Yeonjun is the same age as me?” This Yeonjun who towered over Chan making Chan dislike his height even more was the same age as him?! Still, that's another coincidence that both Yeonjuns had, the coincidence being their ages. There was no way Chan would accept that his Yeonjun in the past would tower over him now. 

“Yup. But as I was saying, the more reason to be hard on him. One, because he's supposed to be the number one legendary Bighit trainee and the very best at dancing.”

When Chan heard this, multiple emotions hit him all at once. If this Yeonjun was the same Yeonjun from back then, he made it, huh? Even when it wasn't the same Yeonjun, Chan felt proud of the male who managed to soar high into the sky and achieve great things even when they were the same age. Yet, he tasted sourness on his tongue, as a small part of Chan asked, "Why couldn't he make it there?" Although it was a rhetorical question, Chan knew the bitter answer deep down. 

Soonyoung looked shocked, about to let out a scream. However, Chan quickly stopped him and gave the older a pleading look. “Don't.” Fortunately, there were no second-time mishaps as Soonyoung asked emotionally, “Wait, this is your first time hearing of this?!”

Now, it was Chan's turn to look confused as he asked, “Yeah?”

Soonyoung gasped, “So you weren't paying attention to Seungkwan giving his crash course when he dropped us off?!”

Chan laughed sheepishly at that, yet it sounded as contagious as ever when he replied, “I... Was admiring the Seoul scenery?”

“Seungkwan is going to kill you when he finds out.” 

Chan laughed in amusement. “Bold of you to assume that he can kill me easily. Also, this is revenge for that one time he fell asleep when I had to tutor him back in high school!” He cleared his throat and spoke in his usual tone, “Anyway, you've said one. What's two?”

“Oh yeah, two. Two, no one says mean things to my dongsaeng, whether intentional or not.”

Chan unconvincingly raised his eyebrow, crossing his arms while asking, “Then what about those times you joined Seungkwan in also saying mean things to me?”

“Let me rephrase that, no one but me and Kwan says mean things to Channie, whether intentional or not.”

Chan laughed in response without looking offended. As if a light bulb had been lit up in his head, he exclaimed, “Wait, this Yeonjun may not be the same Yeonjun, though!”

Soonyoung judged Chan disapprovingly, “What do you mean not the same person?”

“Obviously what I meant! This Yeonjun isn't the same Yeonjun from my dance school! They're two different people!”

“Okay?” Soonyoung raised an eyebrow and gave an amusing smile as he continued, “What's your theory behind this?”

“Well, you see, this Yeonjun and that Yeonjun may have different characters in their names, so they may not be the same person. Two, Choi is quite a common surname, so they may not be the same person. Three, although these two Yeonjuns have the same features, there are instances of people looking similar without any birth relations! Fourth, even if both of them are good at dancing, there are many people out there who are good at dancing, so it's not uncommon! Fifth, there are a lot of people who were born in 1999! Thus, there is no way that they are the same person!”

Soonyoung stared at Chan with an unamused look as Chan ranted, before bursting into laughter once Chan was done talking. Chan mortifyingly looked at Soonyoung, signalling Soonyoung to lower his voice. Fortunately, Soonyoung quickly calmed down, as he stated between choked breaths, “I'm sorry to say this, but your theory is incredibly stupid.”

Chan looked offended, quickly retorting, “That wasn't stupid! That was a plausible theory!”

“Have you seen the way Yeonjun looked at you? He's looking at you like he knows who you are, and you only know one Choi Yeonjun in your life, right?”

“Still! Maybe he's just a really different person who shares similarities with that person and just so happens to watch our content, so that way he’s able to recognise us!”

“And that's stretching, Channie. Even if he really were a fan of us, the reaction when he saw us would’ve been a little different, no? Actually, let me correct you there, he wasn't looking at us, he was looking at you,” Soonyoung replied, emphasising the last “you”. 

Chan's mouth hung wide open before it could work properly. “Still!”

“And my dear Channie, you need to understand, that when there are too many coincidences, it's no longer a coincidence, they're the same person. This Yeonjun is, dare I say definitely, the Yeonjun you met all those years ago.”

No way... So there was never a doppelganger?! This Yeonjun was the same Yeonjun from dance school?! And like, it's Yeonjun?! The Yeonjun?! The Choi Yeonjun?! Chan covered his face as he whined, “I'm so fucked.”

“Language!”

*******

After getting lost in the building and accidentally entering the wrong dance studio multiple times—it did not help that the building’s layout was confusing on this particular floor, Soonyoung and Chan found themselves in front of another dance studio they hadn’t checked.

Muffled screams penetrated through the semi-transparent glass. Chan and Soonyoung looked at each other, concern in Chan's gaze as he asked, “This should be it, right?”

Soonyoung shrugged nonchalantly and patted Chan's head. “Only one way to find out.”

As Chan straightened his hair, Soonyoung gently knocked and opened the door. An interesting scene if Chan were to describe it, greeted the both of them. Hueningkai, whom Chan labelled shy and quiet, was now screaming “Yah!” at Beomgyu. Beomgyu, whom Chan could tell was the louder one, was screaming at Hueningkai to “Come here!!” Fortunately, Taehyun held back Hueningkai while Yeonjun held back Beomgyu. As for Soobin, he was sitting on the floor, laughing and clapping at the fight in front of him.

“Yah!” 

“Don't stop me!!” Beomgyu shouted at Yeonjun, trying to get out of Yeonjun's grip, but never succeeded in doing so. Within seconds, both Hueningkai and Beomgyu were separated effortlessly. 

Soonyoung and Chan's feet were rooted in front of the door frame, while their eyes were fixated on the scene before them. Soonyoung shared an amused look while Chan looked concerned, especially when a fight was about to break out. 

Watching this scene reminded Chan of his days back in high school. During one of their school performance rehearsals, Chan and Seungkwan were provoking and shouting at each other, while Soonyoung and Vernon held them back. It was not a serious fight, as Chan could not recall the reason behind their fighting. If this were the case, then this memory playing in Chan's head right now was one of their instances of their backstage play fighting. 

Remembering the good old days, Chan's contagious laughter escaped his mouth, causing six heads to look at him. Exaggeratedly, Taehyun and Yeonjun let go of Beomgyu and Hueningkai with wide eyes. All the members had straightened themselves up, with Hueningkai looking away sheepishly, Soobin giving his usual gummy smile, and the other members smiling awkwardly.

“Guys, guys guys,” Chan called out first, his wide yet awkward smile showing when he felt the temperature in the room drop. “There's no need to be so tense. Come on, loosen up a little.” At Chan's relaxed body language and reassuring smile, the idols looked laid-back, with the temperature in the room rising. 

Soonyoung smiled too, as the both of them settled themselves in. “Shall we begin practice now?”

Fortunately, dance practice went by without a hitch. Soonyoung would take the lead and teach all the members the dance moves, while Chan would stay on the sidelines and help those who could not keep up. In Chan's fortunate case, he helped all the other members except Yeonjun. When it was time to dance in unison, both choreographers stood behind the mirrors and monitored their moves. As usual, Chan focused on the technical aspect of the dance, while Soonyoung elaborated on the performance aspect of the choreography and pointed out the parts where the angles of their moves were off. Even knowing Soonyoung for years, Chan could never understand how Soonyoung could tell that a dancer's leg was a degree off compared to everyone else.

As the hours went by, the night was getting late, and it was soon time to wrap things up. After a final recorded run-through, a thank you and a goodbye, the idols packed their stuff and prepared to head home. However, Soonyoung and Chan showed no intention of leaving. Both choreographers huddled up in the corner, discussing the finer details of the choreo and what they could do next. 

“Don't you think that this song gives off a really... Rock feel?” Chan asked first as he listened to the track given in their shared earbuds. 

Soonyoung nodded and replied, “Yeah, with the electric guitar, is it? And their vocals as well. That Woozi-ssi, is it? He must be a genius.”

“He really is. Anyway, with a sound like this, it could be cool if we implement the rock feel in our choreo as well.” 

“You mean they could have moves that mimic the electric guitar?”

“It would be cool if they had actual electric guitars!” Chan beamed. “Like remember we used a sofa for your final year of the school performance? It'd be quite innovative!”

There was a soft smile on Soonyoung's face, but his gaze showed that he was deep in thought. “You mean like actual electric guitars? That's going to be quite costly.”

Chan huffed in response. “I doubt that there is anything this company can't afford.”

“Besides, although I don't know much about guitars, I don't think it sounds very practical to dance while having a guitar strapped to you.”

“Hm...” Chan hummed, contemplating with a frown. Saved for the occasional squeaking of shoes and a familiar voice counting, Soonyoung and Chan's corner was completely silent. Chan took the initiative to break the silence by asking, “What about mic stands? Since the song gives a feel of someone singing their heart out, maybe at some point in the choreo they could be holding the mic and do just that.” Chan spoke quietly while avoiding eye contact and fiddling with his index fingers. 

A pat on Chan's head from Soonyoung made Chan look up. The proud smile on Soonyoung's face was enough for Chan to feel relieved. “Great idea, Channie!”

“It's nothing much,” Chan quickly denied with an awkward smile. “I'm just not too sure where we would put the mic stands if the idols supposedly need it for the choreography.”

“Hm...” It was Soonyoung's turn to hum this time, as Soonyoung drew on his notebook. Soonyoung's hand was quick, and a drawing was shoved into Chan's face in no time. “The 'x' means the mic stands, while the dots mean the idols.” Chan looked over Soonyoung’s sketch, finding two mic stands on each side, while the idols were clumped up at the back, mimicking the starting position they had created earlier. 

“Where's the fifth mic?” Chan asked after counting the number of xs multiple times. 

“I'm thinking we don't bring in the fifth mic that early. We could make one of the idols bring it in later on in the choreography.”

“Ah... Okay, I'm totally on board with the idea. Now we need to think of the dance moves. Do these idols have a distinct dance style? What's their trademark style of dancing?”

“Based on what I've seen, first of all, their dances are really synchronised, which I'm impressed.” Chan looked at Soonyoung in amazement. If someone like Soonyoung could call a dance team synchronised, it's easy to say TXT were the real deal. “Their dances tend to be really energetic and even acrobatic at times. Think of dances where you either keep jumping around or even have to do dangerous stunts and having nothing to rely on but your own members.”

“I see...” Chan glanced around the practice room, now noticing the source of the third voice in the room. The familiar long-legged idol was deeply focused, counting the beats as he slowly moved. Squeaks from the friction between his shoes and the wooden floorboard resounded throughout the room. The third male in the room was Yeonjun in the flesh. Chan and Soonyoung shared a glance, before looking back at Yeonjun. 

Yeonjun... How should Chan put this? Yeonjun had always been good at dancing. Even back then, dancing came to Yeonjun as naturally as breathing. However, this Yeonjun was much better at dancing if Chan compared him to the Yeonjun back then. There was no longer any hesitancy in his movements. If Yeonjun had been doing much better since the last time Chan saw him, then what has Chan been doing for these past eight years? 

At the eighth count, Yeonjun had finished his move. Yeonjun turned around and greeted them with a bow and a shy smile. When Chan and Yeonjun made eye contact, Chan’s gaze went to the floor, with an unfamiliar nervousness in his stomach. 

“Oh, I'm sorry for disturbing the both of you, Soonyoung-ssi and Chan-ssi.” With the newfound realisation that the Yeonjun here may have been the Yeonjun back then, hearing Yeonjun calling him Chan-ssi made Chan uncomfortable. The -ssi at the end of his name sounded so wrong. Was this a sign that Yeonjun wanted to put some distance between them? A sign that Yeonjun may have forgotten their times back then? Or maybe, Chan's so-called stupid theory was right, and this Yeonjun was not the same person? Oh yeah... His plausible theory may be true! Take that, Soonyoung! 

Soonyoung cleared his throat and smiled. It's scary how Soonyoung was a completely different person now, giving friendly smiles as if Soonyoung wasn't the one with a stern look who ran the practice room like the navy earlier. Soonyoung replied, “No worries, it's fine. I see that you're practising the choreo from earlier. Do you require any assistance?” 

“Ah, uh, would it trouble you?” Yeonjun asked hesitantly with the same sheepish smile. 

“No, not at all,” Soonyoung replied with the same smile, while Chan put on his customer-friendly smile. Was Yeonjun looking for Soonyoung only? Members of his school's dance team would come looking for Soonyoung whenever Soonyoung visited the dance team to help, while commissioners would look for Soonyoung only for his advice. Situations like these happened so often that Chan was not surprised if he was getting sidelined. Despite that, Chan still felt the familiar bitter taste in his mouth. 

To shove down his bitterness and stop himself from doing anything regretful, Chan excused himself from the room, grabbing his phone and using some flimsy excuse that first came to mind—which was getting water, out of all of the more believable excuses Chan could come up with—while rushing towards the door. 

The thud of the door only brought Chan to his senses. He was in a new environment, so it was natural for him not to know where the water dispensers were. It also didn't help that it was night, the walls were in the same shade of grey and Chan was alone. He walked down to the right, and his mind wandered. If one were to ask Chan what he was thinking about, he would say that it was just his usual thoughts, nothing to concern others about. 

Some wandering around later, Chan managed to ask a staff member for directions and found the water dispenser. Ah, so it was right out here. He grabbed three paper cups and filled up water for the other two including himself. While filling the first cup, Chan took out his phone, only to find Soonyoung’s messages. 

"Hey 

I'm heading down first"

Chan raised his brow upon reading the texts, and typed back, 

"Are you done already? Should I go down and meet you?"

As Chan took another cup to refill the water, Chan received multiple texts at once, 

"No

Go back 

Dance studio "

So much for the water, Chan thought to himself. He jumped in shock when he realised that the water was overflowing. He quickly pulled up the lever to stop the wasting water, sighing in relief when there wasn’t much water spilt. Stupid, clumsy Chan. How old was he? Yet here he was, spilling water like a child would. Before he could spiral any further, he eyed the screen of his phone and typed, 

"Any particular reason?"

He drank from the overflowed cup as he received another message,

"Yeonjun

Asked you

For help 

Meet up with me

When you're done

At the convenience store

Next door "

Chan nearly dropped his phone and spilt a little bit of water. He coughed multiple times and placed his cup on the top of the dispenser. Once he had recovered from his coughing fit, he held his phone with both hands, staring at the screen and rereading the latest message multiple times. Is this what he's thinking? Is someone requesting his help? But why? Doesn't Soonyoung give better advice? Wasn't Soonyoung a better person to go to in general? As Chan read through that message one more time, another new text appeared at the bottom, 

"You do know how to get back to that dance studio

Right? "

Chan sighed with a look of disapproval as he typed, 

"Who do you take me for? I'm not that incompetent."

After pocketing his phone, Chan grabbed the two cups, one half and one full, and walked back to the dance studio. After getting lost in the labyrinth called the company building, and pushing open multiple doors that led to dark rooms, Chan had finally entered the right dance studio. 

True to Soonyoung's words, the only person left in the dance studio was Choi Yeonjun, practising his dance in front of the mirror. When the door opened, Yeonjun turned to look at Chan after finishing his move, with a soft smile. Chan, meanwhile, was visibly struggling to hold onto two paper cups with a single hand. So when one of the cups was about to fall, Yeonjun fortunately took that paper cup. At that moment, Chan saw how close Yeonjun was. It didn't help that their fingertips brushed within the briefest seconds, triggering Chan's thunderous beating heart. Fortunately, they weren't close for long, as Yeonjun left Chan's personal space and finished the water. 

However, Yeonjun took the wrong paper cup, as the paper cup currently in Chan's hand was full. It was undeniable that Yeonjun had taken Chan's cup and drank from it. Yeonjun was unaware that he had taken Chan's cup because Chan never specified that it was his. 

Chan's thoughts took a step back. Why was he so fixated on this? Chan has shared cups or utensils with other people before. His parents, his grandparents, his little brother, Soonyoung, Seungkwan, and some girls he dated in the past; he did not mind it if they were sharing utensils. However, Chan minded when this particular person who happened to share the name Choi Yeonjun had drank from his cup. It's not because Chan wanted to hate Yeonjun for that, but it's that Chan's heart had been doing weird stunts ever since Chan came to that revelation. 

“Aren't you going to drink that?” Yeonjun's voice snapped Chan out of his thoughts. Did Yeonjun not notice that his water was less? 

Chan tried to save the situation and make sense of the loops in his head by replying, “Well, this is actually for you too.”

Yeonjun smiled at Chan, replying, “It's fine, you can have it. It's not that good to drink too much water before dancing anyway.”

Lee Chan, 22 years old, a professional choreographer, dance teacher, and dancer, forgot one of the most important things about drinking water and exercising. How could he forget about that fact?! Feeling embarrassed, Chan chugged down the water, which was an effective way to stop himself from spiralling further into his thoughts. Yeonjun approached Chan after that, reaching a hand out as he said, “Here, I'll help you throw.”

Chan blinked for a few moments once he heard that. Was this the same Yeonjun as the Yeonjun at 14? The real Yeonjun at 14 would ask Chan to throw the paper cups for him instead and throw a fit if Chan did not. 

If Chan were to talk about looks, this Yeonjun was not the same Yeonjun at 14. Sure, he still has the feline features and the ear piercings, but when the hell did Yeonjun get this tall?! Back then, they were nearly the same height. But now, Yeonjun has towered over him! Choi Yeonjun, can you please donate some of your height to the needy?! 

“Chan? Channie?” Chan snapped out of it when he heard Yeonjun's voice, blinking when a hand waved. Chan came face to face with Yeonjun's smile when Yeonjun said, “Oh, good, you finally responded.” 

Chan cleared his throat and mumbled thanks, before handing the empty cup to Yeonjun. The accidental brushing of their fingers caused electric statics to run through Chan's fingers. Why was he so bothered about Yeonjun touching him, even when it was minimal physical contact? Hell, Chan didn’t have anything against physical contact. Disregarding the physical contact, the feeling of Yeonjun calling Chan without the formal tones felt right and relieved. 

Yeonjun talked while walking towards the bin, “I'm sorry about the lack of honorifics, Chan-ssi, I just wanted to get your attention.”

To say that Chan was shocked was an understatement. Chan felt upset at the wall built between them. “No, no, it's fine. You don't have to bother with those honorifics that much.”

Yeonjun looked at Chan with surprise, and smiled with hope in his gaze, “Does that mean... I can call you Chan? Or Channie?”

When Chan first heard the implication, he could see the wall between them crumbled down into pieces. Suddenly, the distance between them wasn't as far apart as Chan thought. “Yeah.” Chan only realised that he was smiling after responding. 

Yeonjun's expression brightened. “Then that means you have to call me Yeonjun as well, okay?”

When Yeonjun made his way to the centre of the studio, Chan's smile never left his face as he replied,  “Sure, Yeonjun. What did you need help with?”

“Well...” Yeonjun avoided eye contact and bit his lip as he spoke, “The whole thing we learned today? Just to make sure I'm getting everything correct.” 

"But you were doing so well though, and Soonyoung hyung could give better feedback than me..." Chan thought to himself. From all the secret glances at Yeonjun earlier, Yeonjun was keeping up well, not needing his extra help. Hell, even Soonyoung, known for his notorious criticism and claimed that he would be harsh on Yeonjun, did not have much to criticise about Yeonjun either. 

Maybe he was overthinking this. Yeonjun may have needed help but felt bad to voice it out with everyone else. However, wouldn't Soonyoung be a better choice, since Soonyoung had more experience than Chan? Yeonjun requested for Chan, and Chan was not able to figure out why Yeonjun would do that. 

Since Chan was here now, he could only say, “Sure. Why don't you show me your dancing first?”

Chan played the song on the speaker. Upon the first beat, Yeonjun's body instantly moved according to the beat. Yeonjun still has his instant body reaction to music, huh? Chan smiled at the back of his head, as Yeonjun danced with a concentrated gaze. Despite being known as a happy-go-lucky guy, Chan was serious about dancing, these moments being one of them. Soonyoung was also like this, but Soonyoung's duality was more obvious. Although Chan would never have Soonyoung's keen eye for angles, Chan could still give feedback and tips on how to improve the dance's execution. At least Chan wasn't completely useless— Enough spiralling, Chan had to focus. Apart from a few moves that needed refinements and a few details that were missed, Yeonjun's dance was captivating, in a sense that Chan could feel awe and amazement no matter how many times he watched Yeonjun dance. 

Once Yeonjun finished dancing, he smiled at Chan. A proud and eager glint flashed in his eyes as he asked Chan, “So Channie, how was I?” 

Chan cleared his throat in response and returned to his professional self. “Well...” He began explaining the parts that could be improved, even demonstrating to Yeonjun the dance moves, which Yeonjun followed in response. Yeonjun did another run-through, following the advice Chan had given him. 

“You did well,” Chan complimented with a smile as he disconnected the phone from the speaker. 

“It's all thanks to you. Thanks for your insightful advice. They really do help.” Hearing those words from Yeonjun made Chan's heart skip a beat and made Chan's body warm. “You know, this reminds me of times back in our schooling days.” Chan stilled for a moment before turning off the switch in the speaker. 

No way... This Yeonjun is the same Yeonjun from dance school?! Getting confirmation like this was still a shock to Chan. Chan looked up, coming face to face with Yeonjun's smile, gazing deep with a gaze Chan could not discern. “You haven't changed at all, Channie.”

Goodness! Chan broke their gaze, covering the lower half of his mouth as his heart pounded. It was Yeonjun's gaze, a gaze that reminded him of a dark ocean, a gaze that contained a scary patch of darkness, a gaze that bestowed fear into Chan's heart. Coughing a few times, Chan quickly retorted before the footsteps got closer, “And you, Yeonjun have certainly changed a lot.” Chan stepped away, a part of him afraid of what Yeonjun would do if Yeonjun stepped closer. 

After ensuring a safe distance, Chan looked up at Yeonjun, noticing a frown on Yeonjun's face. Before Chan could say anything, Yeonjun asked, “Is this about what Soonyoung-ssi told me earlier?” 

“Huh?” Now, Chan was dumbfounded, because how the hell would he know what Soonyoung and Yeonjun talked about earlier?! What the hell happened when Chan wasn't around?! 

“Soonyoung-ssi said that I used to say and do hurtful things to you back in school...” To say that Chan was shocked was an understatement. Did Soonyoung just tell Yeonjun all of that?! “And he even told me to watch my back and not hurt you in the future, or he'd kick me to the sun with his black belt taekwondo championship skills.”

'Kwon Soonyoung! What the heck did you do?!' Chan internally screamed and could not hide his frantic behaviour. He waved his hands while panicking, “No, it's fine! I'm already long over it!”

Yeonjun cut in, replying with clear remorse, “Even so, if I had hurt you in the past, it's only right for me to apologise, no matter how long ago it is. So, I’m really sorry, Lee Chan.”

“Really, really, it's okay! I already forgave you a long time ago!” 

Yeonjun looked relieved when he heard those words, as a giant weight had been lifted off Yeonjun's shoulders. Yeonjun smiled with an unreadable gaze as he replied, “Thank you for your forgiveness, Channie. Then...” Yeonjun averted his gaze to the floor as he asked, “Do you think... We can... Um... Still be friends?”

Chan's franticness turned into confusion as he retorted, “Why are you asking this? I never unfriended you.”

Yeonjun's face lit up once Chan said that. “So we're still friends?” Yeonjun asked excitedly, akin to a fox who had received its favourite treat. If Yeonjun had a tail, it would be wagging ferociously. Cute, Chan commented internally, until he realised the absurdity of that one word. 

“Yeah,” Chan replied. Despite being genuine, there was no way Chan could look Yeonjun in the eye, otherwise all those unlabeled emotions would come overflowing. 

In the next moment, Chan came face to face with a chest, with long arms wrapped around him loosely, one around his back and the other on Chan's head. The electrifying touch and the scent of woody aromatic fragrance had overwhelmed Chan. Yeonjun's touch made him uncomfortable, as the electrifying statics of Yeonjun's touch made his body feel weird. However, at the same time, Chan's body did not mind the touch too much. It was an uncomfortable feeling that made Chan want more if Chan was being honest. How contradictory that statement sounded. 

“I missed you,” Yeonjun whispered in the crown of Chan's head and pulled away with the same gaze in his eyes. 

Chan returned the smile that did not reach his eyes. To conceal his conflicting emotions, he exclaimed, “I... Don't miss you!” Unfortunately, this was when Chan's voice cracked. 

Yeonjun laughed at Chan's voice crack before pouting, a furrow ceasing his face before whining, “You don't really mean that, do you?”

Cute, Chan laughed at Yeonjun's reaction, his glad face feeling much cooler now. “I'm kidding! I missed you too~”

The both of them laughed. Chan felt like they had returned to the serene times of their old days, laughing without a care in a practice room late at night. Yet, here they are, repeating this very same scenario years later. 

“Say,” Chan spoke first once the laughter had died down. “Why is it that you said those weird things to me? Just out of plain curiosity.”

A flush of red painted Yeonjun's face, as Yeonjun looked anywhere but at Chan. Was Yeonjun feeling hot? Chan did not remember Yeonjun being someone who ran on hot easily, but he shouldn’t be questioning this now. Before Chan could rush to get water, Yeonjun smiled coyly, despite the redness in his face. “Who knows? Maybe I just like messing with you.”

Chan looked at Yeonjun, unamused. There's the cheeky part of Yeonjun that hasn’t changed yet. “Anyways, we better get going now. It's getting late, and hyung is going to call me anytime soon.” As Chan said that, the phone began to ring, "I'm starting with the man in the mirror~ I'm asking him to change his ways~" “Speak of the devil,” Chan said as he dug out his phone from his pocket. Doing so, his body swayed to the music and his lips followed the mouthing of the lyrics. Chan only answered the call when it was the last second of the ringtone. 

“Hello?” Chan called out. 

“Are you guys done now?”

Jeez, not even a hello? “Yeah, yeah, hyung. We're heading down now.” 

“Do you need me to come up? To take you down in case you get lost.”

“No, no, you don't have to come up. Yeonjun is here, he can help me in case we get lost.” 

“Yup!” Yeonjun chimed in cheerily, causing Chan to laugh. 

“That Yeonjun better know his way back and not do anything to you. Also Channie, do you mind asking Yeonjun how he's heading back?”

“Hm? Hang on.” Chan asked the younger, “How are you planning to head back?”

“Well, I'll see who's available to send me back.” Chan relayed Yeonjun's message through the phone. 

“Do you want to ask Yeonjun if he wants to join us? Kwan doesn't mind dropping Yeonjun off.”

Chan hummed in response, saying, “Seungkwan hyung is offering to send you back.”

“As in Seungkwan sunbae? He's here?”

“I guess so.”

“Ah, do send my thanks to Seungkwan sunbae! I'll take up on that offer!” Yeonjun exclaimed. Chan laughed, as he continued to talk on the phone, “Hyung, heard that?”

“Yeah, yeah, I heard that. The both of you better head down now before I leave the both of you alone in this maze of a company. Bye!”

“Yeah, yeah, you wouldn't do that. Okay, bye hyung!” Chan hung up the call and pocketed his phone.

“You still love Michael Jackson?” Yeonjun asked. 

Chan laughed in response, as he couldn't fathom a time when he hated the icon. “Since when do I not love him? Anyway, we better get going now. Hyung can get really impatient.”

Yeonjun nodded in response and helped to switch off the air conditioner and the fans. While helping Chan out, Yeonjun asked, “If you don't mind me asking, just out of curiosity, are you seeing anyone now?”

“Aren't I seeing you now?” Chan said, but it came across as more of a question, while he zipped up his bag. He only realised what Yeonjun meant when the bag was fully zipped. “Oh! You meant as in dating.” He laughed at his misunderstanding before replying, “No, I'm not seeing anyone at the moment.”

Yeonjun laughed and replied, “That's good.” Chan made his way towards the door, where Yeonjun was waiting. Yeonjun switched off the lights once Yeonjun and Chan exited the room. With that, the both headed down. Fortunately, as Yeonjun was more familiar with the building, they reached the elevators in a minute. 

They both were in the elevator when Yeonjun suddenly asked, “Do you mind if I call you jagi?”

Excuse me what? Great, now his heart is doing acrobatics again. Chan looked puzzled and baffled despite his inner turmoil as he asked, “What?”

Yeonjun's face was painted a light shade of red, his hand was behind his neck as he awkwardly laughed, before replying, “I don't mean it like that! It's just, I tend to refer to my friends as jagi, so I'm asking if you're okay with that.”

After hearing that explanation, the acrobats in Chan's heart stopped their performance. Well yeah, obviously, that was what Yeonjun meant. It'd be weird to ask for a date after a first meeting and conversation. “Yeah, sure. You can call me that.” Surprisingly, Chan found himself agreeing to this. Despite the term ‘jagi’ being a little too intimate to call a friend, as this term was typically used between lovers, Chan did not mind being called that. 

“Okay, jagi~ When I text you good night later, what phone number should I use?”

Chan looked taken aback. Is this his way of asking for his phone number? For some reason, it made Chan feel giddy and caused Chan to laugh. He took out his phone and showed his phone number, which Yeonjun quickly added to his contacts. 

“Thanks, jagi!” The elevator doors opened, revealing Soonyoung standing in front of the elevator. He crossed his arms, looking displeased at the younger males. “Took you long enough.”

“Come on, hyung, it wasn't that long,” Chan whined and they both stepped out of the elevator. 

Soonyoung's gaze softened, but his displeasure was evident as he snarkily replied, “My patience is waning thin.” Soonyoung eyed Chan up and down with a concentrated look. “Yeonjun didn't do anything to you, did he?”

“What?!” Chan exclaimed, baffled. “No! We just talked like normal people do!”

“Yeah. Sorry for keeping Soonyoung-ssi waiting,” Yeonjun apologised genuinely. 

Soonyoung laughed with a wave of his hand, replying, “No, no, I'm just teasing you guys. Get used to that from now on. Also, there's no need to be so formal, just call me hyung.”

“Alright, hyung,” Yeonjun enthusiastically replied in response. 

Soonyoung chuckled before gesturing, “Let's go.”

*******

“Seungkwan sunbaenim?” Yeonjun called out upon noticing who was in the driver's seat. The both exchanged smiles when Yeonjun sat behind the driver, as Seungkwan greeted, “Hey, Yeonjun. It's been a while.”

“The both of you know each other?!” Chan asked in shock as he sat in the passenger's seat, with Soonyoung taking the front seat. 

“Obviously,” Seungkwan replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world, and started the journey. “All TXT members are my dear hoobaes. And how do you call me the professor of K-pop if I don't even know the most popular rising boy group?” Seungkwan asked a matter of factly before his voice morphed into one that carried shock and disappointment. “Wait, Channie, you still don't know Tomorrow by Together? Even after I gave you that lecture?!” 

The hurt in Yeonjun's expression caused Chan to panic. He came to his defence with his hands and voice raised, “Wait, wait, let me explain!” Seeing Yeonjun hurt had made a part of Chan feel hurt. To put himself in Yeonjun’s perspective, if someone he considered a friend was not aware of his current stardom, Chan would feel upset too. 

“How dare you not pay attention to my lecture!” Seungkwan exclaimed in his usual dramatised tone. He unlocked the car doors, evident by the sound of a click. This caused Chan to look even more panicked while retorting, “Calm down! Calm down!” 

“Yeonjun, you can hit him,” Seungkwan encouraged with a playful look and Yeonjun responded with an awkward laugh. Yeonjun reached out, but instead of giving Chan a light playful smack, Yeonjun gently grabbed Chan's left hand, squeezing it. 

Chan, upon receiving the sudden contact, was shocked. The electrifying feeling returned once again. It's strange how this unfamiliar touch of a hand felt comforting. Years ago, Yeonjun would never initiate contact like this. “I'm sorry,” Chan whispered, staring at their hands. A gentle squeeze from Yeonjun was the reassurance Chan needed. It's strange how despite this might be their first time holding hands, their hands fit so perfectly together. Now that's a stretch, Chan thought as his brain immediately stepped back after realising the gravity of that sentence. 

The sudden click from the car startled both Yeonjun and Chan, followed by laughter from both of Chan's older friends. Chan immediately got out of Yeonjun's grip, looking towards the window with his left hand clutched close to his chest. Stealing a glance after the laughter had died down, Yeonjun’s face was pressed against the window. Chan could not see Yeonjun's face at all. 

Seungkwan was the one who spoke up first amidst the silence, “Anyways, that's enough about me. I'm more curious that you, Channie, have known Yeonjun before I knew him.”

Chan sighed, “Well, I've definitely told you before that Yeonjun was my dance partner, and we used to go to the same dance school together—” 

“Which dance school? The one that was closed down recently because the head was involved in tax evasion and potentially corruption?”

Chan flinched at the mention of a familiar person, but he successfully covered his displeasure with a snarky remark, “I'm surprised you remember that but not the fact that Yeonjun was my dance partner.”

“Well maybe if you told me the details between you and Yeonjun then I would've remembered that fact!”

“Or maybe if you didn't have a goldfish brain then maybe you would've remembered that fact!”

“You!” Seungkwan exclaimed, clearly pissed. He was glaring at Chan, and not looking at the road. 

Taking advantage of this fact, Chan teased, “Seungkwan, eyes on the road. Don't want to ruin your precious face or your car now, no?” 

“That's Seungkwan hyung to you!” Seungkwan quickly looked to the front and retorted. Even without looking at Seungkwan's face, Chan could tell that Seungkwan was annoyed. 

“Seungkwan! Seungkwan! Seungkwan! Boo Seungkwan!” Chan continued calling out teasingly, even sticking out his tongue. 

“I know what you're trying to do, and it won't work!”

“Boo Seungkwan!” Chan pressed his fingers against his ears while replying, “Lalalalala I can't hear you!”

“It sounds like— Oh, we're here.” Seungkwan's loudness dropped a few hundred decibels as he stopped in front of a building. He unlocked the doors and smiled. “See you, Yeonjun. I have a feeling that we'll be seeing each other more often.”

“Bye, Yeonjun! Make sure to get enough rest!” Soonyoung exclaimed. 

Yeonjun waved to them in response. Although Chan wasn't sure if Yeonjun could see Chan's smile in the dark, Chan's smile was heard as he said, “See you tomorrow, Yeonjun.”

Once everyone said their goodbyes, Yeonjun responded, “Bye-bye guys! I'll text you later, jagi~” After giving his goodbyes, Yeonjun quickly opened the door and headed out of the car, not forgetting to close the door behind him. Chan smiled widely at Yeonjun's words, a part of him looking forward to receiving Yeonjun's text. This was when Chan realised he forgot to ask for Yeonjun's contact. Well, if Yeonjun did not text him tonight —which would make Chan disappointed, honestly— he needed to remind himself to get Yeonjun's number tomorrow. 

Knowing Chan's friends, they would be able to notice if something was up. Sure enough, once Yeonjun safely got inside the building, Soonyoung was the one who spoke up first, looking at Chan with surprise as he asked, “Yeonjun calls you jagi now? Did anything happen when I was gone?!”

Chan was quick to retort emotionally, “No! Nothing happened! He just asked if he could call me jagi! He says he does this with his friends, so...”

“Ah, right. For once Channie and I are on the same page. Yeah, it's just Yeonjun's thing, being coy, light and flirty with everyone. He even tends to call his same-aged friends jagi.”

“For once we agree on something.” Chan sighed before continuing, “So it's just friendship. And we're the same age.”

“Nuh uh, Channie. That's when you're wrong. I have a theory that for you, it's different for Yeonjun when he calls you jagi.”

“Okay, that's it,” Chan interrupted before Seungkwan could continue. “How is THIS theory not more stupid than my Yeonjun theory?!”

Soonyoung bursted out laughing first, asking loudly, “But wasn't your theory completely wrong?!”

As Chan tried to think of a good comeback, Seungkwan's laughter pierced through the car. It was so comically loud and exaggerated, as he clutched his stomach and shook his legs. It was fortunate they had stopped at a red light. Otherwise, Chan foresaw that they might not be able to go to work tomorrow. Chan and Soonyoung both looked at Seungkwan in horror and concern. 

“What's so funny?” Chan asked Seungkwan, looking genuinely offended. 

“Nothing.” Seungkwan choked between his breaths and laughed softer, before replying, “It's just that based on what Soonyoung hyung told me—”

“Soonyoung hyung told you?!” Chan exclaimed in shock, giving Soonyoung a look that screamed "How could you?!" 

Soonyoung shrugged in response. “You never said I had to keep it a secret.” 

“As I was saying, when Soonyoung hyung relayed the story to me, I just couldn't help but find Yeonjun cute. Who knew he'd be cuter when he was 14?” 

“Cute? I don't see anything cute about what he said,” Chan said, giving them disapproving looks. 

“Tsk, tsk. See, Channie? This is why I call you Lee Pabo Chan.”

“Wait, am I missing something important?!” Chan asked frantically, looking back and forth at his older friends. “Soonyoung hyung?! Seungkwan?!”

Seungkwan only began laughing, while Soonyoung gave an amusing smile. 

“Hyungs?!”

*******

It wasn't an easy journey home, for as much as Chan pestered Soonyoung and Seungkwan, they would not answer the big question mark in his head. 

Fortunately, when everyone made it home better known as Seungkwan's house, they ran out of social energy. Chan's sanity was internally thankful for that. 

Unfortunately, there were only two bathrooms in the house. Chan, not in the mood for sharing a bathroom with any of them, resorted to chilling as he waited for his turn to shower. Checking his messages, Chan realised a few unread messages from Soonyoung. 

"I know

You're never incompetent

I just want to 

Remind you that you've done enough

So don't worry about giving bad advice 

Because knowing you

You'll always give the most helpful advice "

It's normal for Chan to receive messages like these from Soonyoung when Chan is sidelined or feels like he is sidelined. Yet, no matter how frequently Chan received that message since high school, it always put a smile on Chan's face and stopped him from spiralling. Yeonjun even said that Chan's advice was helpful, which meant that once again, Chan did not fail everyone. 

Speaking of Yeonjun, this was when he had gotten a ding from his phone. Checking the notification, he received a text from an unknown number. 

"jagiya~

this is yeonjunnie~"

Chan smiled upon receiving the text, giddy at the nickname he received, and immediately added Yeonjun's contact. 

"Hi Yeonjun, this is Chan."

He stared at the phone screen, realising that this shouldn't be a good text to send. Unfortunately, it was already sent and seen. Unfortunately, Chan could see the text bubble on the other side. There's no use deleting it now. 

"haha lol

of course youre channie

wyd"

"?"

What's lol? What's wyd again? Shit, was he supposed to know? Even though Chan and Yeonjun were the same age, Chan couldn't help but feel like there was a communication gap between them, which disappointed Chan. Truly, Chan needed to keep up with the times. 

A few texts quickly came after that. 

"its okay

lol is laugh out loud

wyd is what are you doing"

Ah, that makes sense. From the texts, Chan could infer that Yeonjun wasn’t mad about it. But then again, how was Chan supposed to know that lol stands exactly for laugh out loud?! Or wyd means what are you doing? Also, shouldn't the abbreviation to ask what you are doing be wayd? Why is the ‘a’ silent?! 

"Nothing much, just waiting on my hyungs to finish showering, then discuss with Soonyoung hyung about the choreography, and then sleep."

"ah

make sure you dont stay up too late~" 

"What about you? Shouldn't you be asleep by now?"

"i wanted to text you before going to sleep

and made sure you safely got back

cant i?" 

The string of text probably wouldn't mean much to Yeonjun, but the thought of Yeonjun texting him and checking on him did not fail to make his heart flutter. He brought a pillow to his chest, hoping to calm his beating heart. Chan's heart needed to calm down. After all, Soonyoung and Seungkwan have also done similar things like these in the past. Whenever they were out too late, they'd ask Chan to text them when Chan reached home. Yeonjun didn't have to do this, but he still did. Thus, this is most likely another friend thing to do, and Chan was happy that Yeonjun did the same thing. Once his heart had calmed down, Chan received another ding. 

"but youre right, jagi

i should head to bed now

good night jagiya~

dream of me~" 

"Good night Yeonjunnie, sleep well." 

'Jagi', 'dream of me', that word and that phrase were etched deep into Chan's head, as he stared at the screen on his phone. Yeonjun only read the text and did not respond. He must be trying to go to sleep right now. Still, Chan could not help but read back their texts with a wide smile, despite sharing short exchanges. For some reason, Chan felt blissful reading through their texts with his heart pounding. Is this what it feels like to have a new affectionate friend who's the same age? Yes, Yeonjun is an adoring friend, that's the conclusion Chan came to after rereading their texts multiple times. 

“Why are you looking like a lovestruck schoolgirl?” Seungkwan's voice snapped Chan out of his trance, with Chan dropping his phone out of shock. Fortunately, the phone did not suffer from property damage. 

Chan cleared his throat to recompose himself and picked up his phone. “Do I need to remind you that I’ve never had a same-aged friend before? I’m just happy that I finally have one!” 

*******

Ever since that day, many things have changed. 

For one thing, his living conditions changed. Chan was back in the city, surrounded by skyscrapers, heavier traffic, crowded streets, and bright lights even late into the night. Besides, he's also living in Seungkwan's place, rooming with his best friend in a cramped apartment because as Seungkwan puts it, the living conditions in Seoul are expensive. 

Next, his current job was different. Despite doing the same job of choreographing and teaching, this was Chan's first time working with idols. Even though some people have wished to work with idols, claiming that idols are some otherworldly beings —— Chan honestly couldn't blame them, Michael Jackson is some otherworldly being ——Chan realised that working with idols is practically the same as working with... Well, ordinary people. Surprisingly, Chan found himself and Soonyoung getting along well with these idols. Chan admired Soobin for Soobin's leadership despite Soobin being younger, and his unfiltered mouth never failed to make Chan laugh. Taehyun reminded Chan of his little brother who was knowledgeable, quiet, taller and could stab you with words when they opened their mouths. Hueningkai was someone who was reserved at first, but once Chan got to know him, Chan realised that Hueningkai was endearing, and also screamed sometimes. Beomgyu was talkative and loud, which brought out Soonyoung's inner chaos, causing even more loudness during off-practice times. Like Soonyoung, Beomgyu also had a quiet side during his downtime. 

As for Yeonjun... The third major change in their relationship was the relationship between both Chan and Yeonjun. Chan was expecting Yeonjun to regress to his fourteen-year-old self, to break whatever fake nice facade Yeonjun was putting on. However, that had never happened. Instead, Yeonjun only doubled down on being nicer than Chan remembered from the past. He'd text Chan without missing a day, wishing him good morning and night. Whenever Yeonjun stayed up later for extra practice, he'd ask Chan to stay over and help him out with dancing, and then ride Seungkwan's car back to the dorms. When it was Chan's turn to go for a quick trip to the convenience store, the café, or pick up takeout delivered to the company, Yeonjun would always accompany Chan, provided Yeonjun was permitted by Soonyoung. 

Today was one of those times when it was Chan's turn to pick up some food that would be delivered downstairs. As usual, Chan would go without protesting, greeting everyone with a “See you soon,” before leaving the idols to face Soonyoung's wrath. 

By leaving the idols, he meant all the idols, including Yeonjun. Considering that Soonyoung desperately needed to perfect a move that involved all five members, and Soonyoung was a perfectionist when it came to dancing, Chan agreed to leave Yeonjun there. Hell, even Yeonjun complied with Soonyoung’s demands and even offered an apologetic smile when Chan had to go alone. 

Chan never minded the trips downstairs. However, this time, a part of him minded. Out of all days, the elevators in the building decided to be out of service today. HYBE, if you are the richest company in the industry, can't you get better working elevators? Sighing, Chan had no choice but to walk down the stairs to head to the ground floor. He did not mind having to walk the many steps down. After all, he was a dancer through and through, and he wouldn't get tired easily just from going down and climbing up some stairs. 

However, Chan couldn't help but feel lonely during the trip downstairs. It was too quiet. Normally, when he made trips like these downstairs, he'd have a lanky ravenette next to him, talking about anything that came to the ravenette's mind. Whether it was something from their past days or just rambling about what Yeonjun did today, Chan would follow along with what Yeonjun had said, mainly playing the role of a listener. Now, with no one to talk to but himself, Chan couldn't help but miss the presence of the talkative speaker. 

As Chan was thinking about a certain idol, this was when he lost his step. For a moment, he stood perfectly, his feet on the uneven ground called the stairs. In the next, he felt his knees on the ground, with a sharp pain in his right ankle. Shit, Chan cursed internally. This was the worst. Being a dancer, Chan was used to injuries like these, sometimes from positioning his body parts incorrectly or even having nasty falls while practising for more dangerous moves. After all, what kind of sportsman does not get injured doing sports? 

However, an injury, the cause of it being something as stupid as falling from some stairs, caused Chan to feel humiliated and angry at himself. How clumsy is he? Losing his footing on some mere steps? Why couldn't he pay more attention? Look, now he's making things hard for himself. His injury shouldn't be too bad, right? Fortunately, Chan was on flat ground, thus he tried to position his right leg to take a good look at his injury, which earned some hisses from Chan. He gently pulled up his pants, trying his best not to touch the pained area, and noticed swelling beginning to form in his right ankle. Well shit, there was no point in denying that he was injured. Fortunately, his right ankle was his only source of pain, and he was not hurt anywhere else. 

How far down was he? Chan asked as he looked down through the stairwell, trying to determine how many flights he had to go through before making it down. From his view of how many flights of stairs there were below, his guess would be quite a number. The many flights of stairs greeted him from above. From his view, Chan could not determine which floor he came from. However, Chan was certain that he had quite a distance to go should he choose to go up or down. In other words, it would not make a difference. 

He contemplated on what his next action would be, should he go down and still take the food, or should he give a call to the people upstairs and tell them that he injured his ankle? And possibly trouble them? Knowing Soonyoung, he's probably preoccupied with the idols now, since Soonyoung always seeks absolute perfection. And if he were to call the idols, he would most likely bother them. After all, they're busy perfecting their dance, aren't they? 

Yeah, never mind, it was obvious what Chan's choice would be. He forced himself to stand up, relying on the bars on the stairwell to support his body weight. He hissed when he felt pressure on his right leg, causing even more pain to flow to his ankle. He held in the pain as he walked down the stairs, relying on his left leg and the railing of the stairwell to support him. 

This wasn't the worst injury Chan had suffered from, at least he didn't have to go to the hospital this round. Based on personal experience, this injury was minor. Yet as minor as the injury was, it still hurt Chan when he accidentally put pressure on his right ankle. Yet, he had convinced himself he was fine, remembering the times he used the stairs despite having a sprain. 

Yeah, he could use the stairs. Chan just had to do it slowly, holding onto the handrail for support, left leg supporting most of his body weight, left leg on the stair first, followed by right leg on the same stair. Repeat the whole process until he makes it down. 

This went on for countless steps until he felt his left leg slip on the next step, which caused him to let go of the handrail for a brief moment out of shock. He felt pressure go to his right ankle, which caused him to close his eyes and wince in pain. Great, he was going to fall again, and he was going to either worsen his injury, get a sprained ankle on his left, or suffer worse injuries. Congratulations, Lee Chan. You've made yourself clumsier. 

However, the impact never greeted him headfirst. Instead, he felt arms around him, holding him in place and ensuring he didn't fall. Whoever had caught him had a soft touch, a gentleness Chan hadn't felt in a while. He also heard panting, felt the rise and fall of a chest, and smelt a familiar scent of fresh citrus and ambery cedar. 

Wait, there's only one person with a scent like that! 

“Jagi, you okay?”

Chan's eyes shot open upon hearing that voice. He turned his head to the back. Yeonjun stood in the flesh, holding onto Chan with fear and concern in his eyes. No way, Yeonjun was here?! But didn't he have practice? Was it already lunch break? Shit, he hadn't delivered the food yet! 

“Jagiya?” Yeonjun called out again, concerned as ever as Chan wasn't responding. As if jagiya were a magic word, it had snapped Chan out of his thoughts. 

“Y-yeah,” Chan stuttered, trying to adjust his position. He shifted, making sure he was standing properly on the stairs. “I'm...” A wince escaped his mouth before he could continue, “Fine.”

Yeonjun frowned, studying Chan with a gaze that left Chan looking away. Yeonjun was staring at a particular spot. When Chan followed Yeonjun's gaze, he saw what Yeonjun was staring at. The swelling of Chan's right ankle was on full display for Yeonjun to see. Shit, Chan had forgotten to pull down his pants. 

Yeonjun unconvincingly looked at Chan, as he stated the truth with a stern look, “You're injured.”

“Yeah,” Chan replied as he purposefully avoided Yeonjun's gaze. 

“And you're still walking down the stairs.”

“Yeah.”

Yeonjun looked angry, but Yeonjun was trying his best to hold it in. A part of Chan was convinced that this was the moment where Yeonjun would show his true colours, and come to terms that maybe Yeonjun wasn't as nice as Chan thought. It was a thought that scared Chan, because what of their daily trips downstairs? What of their late-night practices? What of their daily texts? Was it all for nothing? 

Yeonjun sighed, anger replaced by the worrisome expression Yeonjun had when he caught Chan. “Please forgive me, jagi,” Yeonjun earnestly said. 

Chan was confused when he heard Yeonjun's words. Why was he asking for forgiveness? Chan's question was immediately answered when he felt an arm beneath his knees and another on his back. Chan's feet had left the ground, and Chan's head came face to face with a chest. Chan yelped and hooked his arms around Yeonjun's neck out of fear of falling. 

“This okay, jagi?” Chan looked at Yeonjun when he heard Yeonjun ask that question, and Chan realised their proximity. From this angle, Chan could observe Yeonjun's face clearer and nearer, noticing the beauty mark under Yeonjun's right eye and a gaze that Chan could not discern. Chan could also smell the cologne so much it clouded his senses, causing him to look away with a nod, praying that he did not look too flustered. 

Yeonjun shifted Chan to a position comfortable for the both of them and began descending the stairs. 

“Isn't the position you're carrying me a little...” Chan spoke quietly but trailed off, but Yeonjun had encouraged Chan to continue with a hum. “A little too inappropriate?”

“Inappropriate? Come on, this isn't the first time I carried you like this. Besides, if I explained to everyone that you injured yourself, then everyone would understand.” 

Still, out of all the ways to carry him, Yeonjun carried him like this?! 

“If you're worried, jagi, you can hide your face in my shirt, so no one could see your face.”

Chan disgustingly looked at Yeonjun, retorting, “Didn't you just return from practice? Your shirt contains a lot of dry sweat now.”

“And you're leaning on this shirt now.” Chan could hear the devilish smirk in Yeonjun's voice, causing Chan to sigh. 

“Disgusting. You were the one hoisting me up without a proper warning in the first place.”

“I can't have you walk down the stairs with an ankle like that. Sure, it's a minor injury, or at least it looks like it, but minor injuries can worsen without proper care.”

Chan must have troubled Yeonjun now, hasn't he? Great, Chan happened to do the very thing he was trying to avoid, dragging people down. “I'm sorry,” those words escaped from Chan's mouth as his mind dove headfirst, thinking about how much Yeonjun saw him as a nuisance at that moment, thinking about how upset Chan must've made Yeonjun, thinking about whether Chan had troubled the others too, who were probably starving and could not get their food because of Chan's misstep. 

“I...” I am sorry for being a nuisance, for troubling you, for worrying you, for making you upset and mad, for not doing my job properly as the food delivery man. However, those words never came out, as Chan felt a heavy lead stuck in his throat. 

“It's fine.” Chan sucked in a breath when he heard Yeonjun say those words with a soft smile on his face and comforting squeezes from Yeonjun's arms holding him. “I'm just glad that you're okay, jagi.”

A simple sentence, constructed using the most simple language, combined with unfamiliar touches that bring a sense of familiarity, made Chan's heart feel warm and at ease. Yet, Chan felt bad and guilty for ending up in this situation. If he had not made that misstep for zoning out, none of this would have happened in the first place. He'd be in the practice room with the others, food in hand as he laughed at Beomgyu's impression of Yeonjun. 

“Remember when I had a nasty fall in school?” Yeonjun's voice pierced through Chan's loud brain, causing Chan to feel confused once he had processed Yeonjun's question. Why was Yeonjun bringing this up? 

Chan nodded in response. There was no way he could forget that accident back when they were 14. It was another day at their school's practice room, where Chan was resting after going through a heinous routine. Despite Yeonjun going through the same outrageous routine as Chan, Yeonjun was still active, doing some weird stunts and shouting at Chan to get Chan's attention. Chan only watched silently with a judgmental and concerned look, despite this moment being what Chan called, "just a Yeonjun thing."

Normalcy turned into tragedy when Yeonjun attempted to do a backflip, landing on the wrong foot, and a thud and a piercing cry were heard. Having some humanity despite his young age, Chan rushed to the younger to check on Yeonjun. Although Chan did not manage to get a good look at Yeonjun's leg or have the medical knowledge of an experienced doctor, Chan understood that Yeonjun needed medical attention immediately. 

However, instead of accepting Chan's hand to help him stand up, Yeonjun glared at Chan scarily. Despite trying to come across as intimidating, Yeonjun's red-rimmed eyes and pouty lips had lessened the effectiveness of his scary look. Chan had watched with worry when Yeonjun kept failing to stand up until Chan's body had moved on its own to forcibly help the younger one stand up while trying his best not to hurt him. 

Chan remembered Yeonjun trashing, trying to get out of Chan's grip, but possibly due to the pain Yeonjun had felt, Chan's strength had overpowered Yeonjun's at that moment. Eventually, Chan managed to help Yeonjun up and supported Yeonjun's body as they made their way to the school infirmary. If the boy had cried, evident by the wetness in Chan's shirt, Chan pretended not to notice. 

“Don't say a thing,” Present Yeonjun said as soon as Chan opened his mouth. 

Chan looked upset and gave a disapproving glare, asking, “Then why did you bring this up in the first place?”

“Can't we reminisce about the good old days for a while?”

 "You not wanting to talk about this situation shows that maybe you're not the one who wants to reminisce," Chan thought while rolling his eyes, not bringing it up as the other continued to speak, “And maybe, you just need a reminder that you're not the only one who has stupid falls.”

Chan looked at Yeonjun in shock, but Yeonjun returned Chan's shocked expression with a reassuring smile. Upon making eye contact, Chan immediately averted his gaze. “Thank you.” It was weird how Yeonjun's words had affected Chan greatly, for his chest had felt lighter and his head had gotten quieter. 

“Anytime, jagi.”

Both males were reaching the ground floor, where staff members lurked in every corner. Chan felt a little embarrassed at the thought that people would look at him being carried like this, thus he buried his face in Yeonjun's shirt to hide his face effectively. Fortunately, the shirt was already dry, and Yeonjun's cologne was doing a good job hiding the scent of sweat. Chan felt Yeonjun's laughter through the feeling of Yeonjun's chest, and Yeonjun teased him, “Didn't you say my shirt was gross?”

“It's humiliating to be seen being carried like this,” Chan replied, his voice muffled through the fabric. 

Yeonjun laughed again. “Alright, jagi.”

Chan let Yeonjun lead the way as Chan basked in the warmth and scent called Yeonjun. A comforting feeling settled in his body. If Chan was being honest, he did not want Yeonjun to let go. Fortunately, when Chan felt like Yeonjun's feet were on flat ground, nobody talked weirdly about their current position. But how was Chan supposed to know? The voices from his surroundings drowned out in the background.

Chan felt himself set on a sofa, his legs propped up on the handrest. He found himself in a small, empty lounge, surrounded by concrete walls. Yeonjun said, “Be right back, jagi~” before leaving the room. Chan took this opportunity to take out his phone, finding that there were a lot of unnotified notifications due to his phone being in do-not-disturb mode. He went through the notifications, the most notable ones included three missed calls from Soonyoung, and Soonyoung texting him, 

" Dino

Chan

Channie

Where 

Is

The 

Food

?

Hello?

Channie? " 

The door opened as Yeonjun entered the room with an ice pack and their ordered lunch. Yeonjun gently placed the ice pack on Chan's injured ankle. As gentle as Yeonjun can be, the tiniest bit of contact with the injury made Chan hiss. Naturally, Yeonjun's expression morphed into worry as he asked softly, “Are you okay, jagi? I'm sorry if I hurt you. It's supposed to help with the injury.”

“No, no, I'm fine,” Chan was slightly panicking at the fact that Yeonjun was worried. He tried his best to reassure the other by giving his best reassuring smile as he said, “It doesn't hurt that much anymore.”

“That's good,” Yeonjun replied, now convinced and relieved. Yeonjun looked at Chan's phone, and said “You should give a call to Soonyoung hyung, he has been worried when you weren't picking up his calls.”

“I was going to.” Speaking of Soonyoung, Chan looked alarmed as he exclaimed, “Wait! The food!”

“I'll take care of it,” Yeonjun replied with a gentle pat on Chan's head. “Just rest here, alright jagi? I'll be back before you know it.” Yeonjun playfully tried to wink at Chan before leaving the room. Keyword being tried, as Yeonjun’s wink consisted of his eyes closing simultaneously. In response, Chan smiled and waved Yeonjun off. It was funny and cute how Yeonjun could not properly wink. 

Taking a deep breath and sighing, Chan unmuted his phone and called Soonyoung. Within a few seconds, the call was picked up. Chan held the phone as far away as he could from his ear while Soonyoung shouted, “Lee Jung Chan!”

Once Soonyoung was done shouting, Chan only held the phone next to his ear, as he snarkily asked, “Are you done shouting? You're going to burst my eardrums and when that happens, you're paying for the medical bills.”

“Well, I'm still not done with you!” There was agitation in Soonyoung's voice, but at least Soonyoung wasn't shouting. “Where the hell have you been? I know the elevators are out of service, but it's taking too long!”

“About that... I've accidentally injured myself, a minor sprain on my right ankle, which explains how slow I am.”

“Ah... You injured yourself.” There was a pause before Soonyoung continued, shouted being a better word to describe his voice. “Wait, you injured yourself?!”

“Yup.”

“And you didn't bother giving a call or a text to ask for help?! Or at least tell us you're still alive?!”

“Well, I didn't want to interrupt you guys, I know how much you dislike phone calls in the middle of work, and it was a minor injury—”

“A minor injury?! It's still a fucking sprain, Lee Jung Chan!” From the use of Chan's full birth name, Chan could tell that Soonyoung was mad. “And yeah, I'll feel frustrated and mad when I suddenly get calls or texts during work, I won't deny that, but you know, if you were the one calling or texting, especially for something as urgent as this, do you think your well-being is less important than my personal feelings?! News flash, your well-being comes first.”

Chan could feel guilt gnawing away at him, as he replied with a frown, “I'm sorry for doing something as stupid as that and making you worry, hyung. I promise I won't do that again.”

“I'm not the only person you should apologise to. The TXT members are concerned for your well-being as well, especially Yeonjun. When he saw that you weren't picking up my calls, he rushed out of the practice room to look for you before any of us could even do anything about it. He's the one most concerned about you.”

Chan knew that. From the moment Yeonjun found him even after Yeonjun left, Chan could feel the genuine concern radiating from Yeonjun. Chan felt guilty, but the phrase "It's fine" in Yeonjun's voice pushed away Chan's guilt. A blanket of warmth replaced his gnawing guilt. Although Chan knew Yeonjun's concern, hearing it once more coming from someone else had put a smile on Chan's face. 

Even so, Chan still made the other idols worry. “I...” Chan spoke, taking a deep breath before continuing, “Can hyung put me on speaker mode? So I can talk to the TXT members.”

“Yeonjun isn't here now though.”

“It's fine. I've already talked to him.” 

“Alright then.” Chan heard shuffling on the other end before loud voices could be heard. Those voices could not be as loud as Soonyoung's earlier, though. 

“Hyung!” From how loud and drastically worried the voice sounded, Chan could tell that the person on the phone was Beomgyu. “Are you okay?”

Chan laughed, before replying, “Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry about me.”

“What happened to you, hyung?” Beomgyu asked again. 

“Just a minor sprain,” Chan replied, coming across as calm as possible. “I'll recover fast, and I'm sorry for making you guys worry.”

Chan could hear Beomgyu gasp, and a frantic reply of, “Don't apologise for something like that! We're just glad to hear that you're okay, hyung.”

“It's good that you're fine, hyung.” Chan heard Soobin's calm voice this time. “Just make sure that you rest enough.”

Chan laughed, unsure whether to feel embarrassed that the boys, who were younger than him, were telling him to take care of himself like an older sibling would, or touched for the very same reason. Nonetheless, he felt appreciative of their words. “Thank you, I'll definitely do that.”

“Has Chan hyung seen Yeonjun hyung? He rushed out of the practice room in such a hurry, even forgetting to bring his phone,” Soobin asked. Since Soonyoung wasn't the only one who said this, it seemed like the fact that Yeonjun did run out of the practice room was undeniable. When Chan heard about this a second time, he couldn't help but feel a little guilty but mostly touched. 

“Ah, yeah, I've seen Yeonjun. Well, he was the one who found me and took care of me...” Before Chan could continue, he heard loud gasps and even cheering on the other end. 

“And then?!” Beomgyu was the one who cut in with his distinctively loud voice. “What else did you guys do?!”

Chan felt embarrassed about the whole thing and confused by their extreme reactions, replied, “T-that's it. We didn't do anything else!”

“A shame,” Beomgyu replied disapprovingly, before continuing with a whisper, “Chan hyung, Yeonjun hyung really likes you, you know?” Chan could hear the teasing tone in Beomgyu's voice. Honestly, Chan could not understand why Beomgyu was teasing about this. After all, isn't it normal for friends to like each other? “Did you know that Yeonjun hyung—”

“Okay, that's enough,” It was Taehyun's voice this time, followed by a yelp from Beomgyu. “Make sure to get that ankle checked up, rest, ice your ankle for 15 to 20 minutes every few hours, compress your ankle with an elastic bandage until there's no more swelling, and place your ankle on top of some pillows when you go to sleep at night, make sure that the height of the pillows is above the level of your heart.”

Typical Taehyun, Chan thought. Although Chan already knew the recovery process for a sprained ankle, he appreciated Taehyun's care, and replied, “Thanks Tyun, I'll definitely keep those in mind.”

“Chan,” Soonyoung called out, continuing, “I've already let the higher-ups know about your condition, and they've allowed you to leave early. As for who can take you back, call Seungkwan. He's off today.” After Soonyoung said that, Chan could hear groans from the four other boys. Chan laughed, and Soonyoung was ignorant towards those groans as he asked, “So what about your stuff? Should I send someone down to give you your stuff?”

Chan hummed thoughtfully. Remembering Yeonjun, Chan replied, “Yeonjun's sending the food up. Maybe you could give my stuff to him if it doesn't trouble him and if he's planning to head down. If not, you could just ask someone else to do it.”

A loud Oh my god could be heard in the background, and Beomgyu cut in again, “Trouble him?! Nonsense! Let me tell you something, hyung, as long as it's you, Yeonjun hyung would never feel troubled.”

“Anyway,” Chan finally heard Hueningkai's voice, the cuteness in his voice as he said, “Please rest well, hyung.” Choruses of similar well-wishes echoed through the other side. 

Chan could not hold back a smile, feeling touched as he replied, “Thank you, guys. See you soon, hopefully.” With that final greeting and letting everyone else say their byes, Chan hung up the call. 

Next, to call Seungkwan. Chan was not looking forward to this. He scrolled through his contact list before tapping on a contact that read "Do no call or answer 🙅🙅🙅". 

It took a while before the call was picked up on the other end, as Seungkwan's voice spoke on the other end, “Yah, Lee Chan. What's got you calling me at this hour?”

Chan visibly rolled his eyes and replied, “Jeez, you cranky man. It's not like you're working now.”

“Still, how dare you interrupt my off time just with your voice?”

Chan sighed, before going straight to the point, “Can you pick me up from the company? Like right now?”

“Right now?” Seungkwan asked, clearly shocked. “You don't go off that early? Unless...” Seungkwan gasped, before exclaiming, “Did you and Yeonjun get into a fight?!”

“What?! Of course not!” Chan replied emotionally, feeling baffled about Seungkwan's claim. 

“Then... Are you trying to skip work?” Seungkwan teased. 

Chan sighed so loud that he made sure Seungkwan heard it, before replying, “Who the hell do you take me for, Boo Seungkwan?” 

Laughter could be heard on the other end. “I was just kidding. But to answer your question, I take you as a pabo.”

“As I was saying,” Chan switched the conversation before the conversation turned into endless bickering. “I injured myself, and they're letting me off early. So can you like, come pick me up to get my injury checked in case of anything?”

“Tsk, tsk. You're definitely a pabo.” Although Seungkwan sounded like he did not want to go, Chan could hear shuffling on the other end. “Why didn't you ask Yeonjun to send you, though?”

“Clearly, he has a job,” Chan replied matter of factly, before continuing, “And the both of us know that Soonyoung hyung would definitely not let him off the hook that easily.”

“Yeah... I'd take you for a dance instructor rather than Soonyoung hyung any other day.” As Chan could hear the shudder in Seungkwan's voice, Chan laughed. 

“Should I relay the message to Soonyoung hyung, then?” Chan asked teasingly. 

“Then I'll let the entire world know about your crush on Yeonjun!”

A crush? A crush?! How the hell did Seungkwan even come up with such an outlandish theory?! “What kind of stupid theory are you trying to prove?! I don't have a crush on Yeonjun! We're just friends! F.R.I.E.N.D.S.”

“Denial is a river in Egypt!” 

“Of course, the Nile is a river in Egypt! I taught you Geography!”

“You're missing the point!” 

“What's the point?!”

“You know what, I don't even want to explain it to you! Keep being a pabo!”

“I'm not a pabo!” The call immediately hung up after that. Chan sighed, staring at the contact name he set for Seungkwan. This phone call was one of the many reasons Chan set Seungkwan's contact name into "Do not call or answer 🙅🙅🙅". 

As soon as Chan switched off his phone, the door opened, revealing Yeonjun, panting and looking out of breath, carrying Chan's bag with a smile. Upon seeing Yeonjun, all the frustration Chan felt earlier was gone, replaced by happiness from seeing his friend. Still, he was concerned when he saw Yeonjun's state. Just as Chan was about to reach for the water nearby, Yeonjun stopped him, getting the water himself and chugging down a big gulp of it. 

“Are you... Okay?” Chan asked in concern, as Yeonjun was trying to catch his breath. Once Yeonjun's breathing had evened, he smiled at Chan reassuringly, a silent answer that he was fine. 

Yeonjun eyed the food on the table, still perfectly wrapped and untouched. “You haven't eaten yet?”

“I saw that you left your food here, so I figured that it would be best to wait for you.”

“Aww, how sweet, my jagi~” Chan's heart jumped at the nickname, avoiding eye contact when Yeonjun patted his head. “Let's eat together now, okay?” Yeonjun said in a baby voice, which caused Chan to laugh and agree, despite a gnawing thought at the back of his head that muttered, "Cute." 

As both of them were starving, the food was finished within minutes. Yeonjun, being the gentleman he was, did all the cleaning up and threw the plastic wrappers away. Soon enough, he was back, and he plopped down on the floor while leaning against the handrest of the sofa. 

“Who's picking you up?” Yeonjun asked, breaking the silence first. 

“Seungkwan.” 

“Ah.” 

“Shouldn't you head back upstairs since you're done?”

“Nah, I was specifically tasked by Soonyoung hyung to accompany you until you left.”

“Ah...” 

Knowing Soonyoung, he would accompany Chan or make someone accompany Chan when Chan was injured. Even if Chan were to get a paper cut, Soonyoung would do the same. However, why was Chan a little disappointed when he heard that? 

“But...” Yeonjun trailed off, averting his gaze with red ears. “Even without Soonyoung hyung, I'd still do the same, accompany you.”

Chan's disappointment faded, followed by shock and the question "What does he mean?!" in his head. Chan needed to take a step back. Friends would accompany each other when the other was injured, so Yeonjun was a good friend. 

Yeonjun looked into Chan's eyes, and Chan couldn't look away this time. Chan had dove into the ocean and caught a glimpse of the beautiful scenery below. Those sincere eyes, looking at him with such concern and an emotion Chan could not discern. 

“Can I be honest with you?” After Chan nodded, Yeonjun continued to speak softly and sincerely, “When I saw you nearly fall, it made me so scared that I wasn't able to catch you. When I saw you hurt, I felt pain too, despite not being the one injured. When I saw you trying to push me away, I felt mad that you weren't accepting my help, with the possibility that you may put yourself into worse situations. I...I want to take care of you. I want to be the one who will catch you before you fall. I want to protect you from all the pain and hurt in this world, even when it's impossible. I want to be the one you turn to for help.”

Chan felt heat go up to his face, the nerves in his body feeling like jelly. Hearing Yeonjun's words gave Chan a different type of warmth that left Chan breathless. Calm down, Yeonjun probably meant all of that as a friend. Calm down, Yeonjun probably meant that as a brother. Recalling Yeonjun's nasty fall when they were 14, Chan also felt all of that upon seeing Yeonjun injured. 

“I want to do so much more. I... Want to be the person who would always stay by your side...” 

All of what Yeonjun had said referred to their reconciled friendship. Yet, why did Chan feel the room getting hot? Why were all kinds of unnamed intense feelings blossoming in his chest? 

As Chan looked at Yeonjun this time, he felt his eyes flicker between Yeonjun's eyes, and his pouty lips, back and forth. Wait, lips? 

The quiet tension in the room broke when Chan's phone rang loudly, and “Dangerous~ Dangerous~” played in the room. The both of them were startled by the sudden ringtone and immediately broke their eye contact. Chan hurriedly picked up the call while exclaiming, “What?!”

“Obviously, I'm here outside of the company building! Now hurry up before I drive away!”

“Don't you fucking dare!” Chan hung up the phone and sighed, “Seungkwan is here.”

Yeonjun snapped out of his trance, standing up and tidying his clothes. “Yeah, okay, let's go.” Yeonjun sounded off and looked disappointed, although Chan couldn't quite discern why. After opening the door, Yeonjun slung Chan's bag around both his shoulders and hooked his arms around Chan's body, lifting Chan. 

“Do you still have to carry me like this?” Chan sighed and disapprovingly looked at Yeonjun as soon as Chan's weight was on Yeonjun's arms. 

“Why not?” Yeonjun asked with a coy smile on his lips. “I find it the easiest to carry you this way. Don't want your injury to get worse.”

“I don't think an ankle sprain requires a bridal carry! You could just support my body and help me outside like a normal person? It's not like there are any more stairs anyway.”

“I am supporting your body, though.” Despite not looking at Yeonjun, Chan could hear the smirk in Yeonjun's voice. “Besides, I want to do this for you, can't I?” 

A familiar gaze with an emotion Chan could not discern greeted Chan once more. Was it just Chan, or did Yeonjun look much cuter now unlike earlier? This particular look reminded Chan of a time back then, when Yeonjun gave that very same look, tugging onto Chan's arm and forcing Chan to do another dance routine with him. Chan, who did not want to argue much back then, and could not say no whenever Yeonjun gave that particular look, always went along with Yeonjun's shenanigans. 

It was funny how eight years later when Yeonjun used that very same card, the efficiency of this trick did not get worse, but started to affect Chan more. Sighing, Chan turned his head away with his ears burning. “Do whatever you want.” Chan could hear Yeonjun beam after saying that. 

As Yeonjun walked, Chan was the one who broke the silence this time, “Yeonjun, I'll still say this though. Thank you for taking care of me.” 

“It was no problem. I'd take care of you anytime,” Yeonjun replied softly, to which Chan smiled in response, ignoring the sudden rise in his heart rate. The thought of someone else taking care of Chan makes a part of Chan feel giddy inside, despite the possibility of those words being empty promises. 

Soon enough, Chan felt himself being set down on a seat. He found himself sitting in the front seat of Seungkwan's car. Chan could hear Seungkwan's rare but earnest voice, “Thank you for taking care of Channie this whole time.”

After placing Chan's bag on the passenger's seat, Yeonjun replied, “Anytime, it was no problem for me.” He then headed to the front, looking at both Seungkwan and Chan through the side car windows, waving as he said with a grin, “Let me know how your appointment went, jagi! Bye-bye ~ Get well soon, jagi~” Seungkwan responded with a "Bye" and a wave while Chan silently nodded and waved. 

After Yeonjun entered the company building, Chan wound up the car window. All it took was one glance at Seungkwan's dramatised shock that Chan made Chan sigh, aware of what was to come. 

Seungkwan gasped so loudly that Chan was sure Seungkwan would choke on his breath. “I- You- Yeonjun carried you bridal style?!”

“I was injured!”

“And I would've dragged your body! But for someone as nice as Yeonjun he would have supported your weight or even given you a piggyback ride but nOoOoOoOo! He instead carried you like a princess all the way here!”

“He was being insistent!”

“If I didn't know any better—” Seungkwan's voice had drowned out in the background when Chan looked in the rear mirror. When a man in a guard uniform approached their car, Chan harshly patted Seungkwan's shoulder multiple times, which earned an offended look from Seungkwan. 

“Dude, we have to go, like right now,” Chan urged, beckoning Seungkwan to look at the rear mirror. 

“Right, shit. We've been here for too long.” Seungkwan immediately changed the gear and stepped on the accelerator, the huge company building getting smaller and slowly disappearing from Chan's sight. 

Seungkwan opened his mouth, but Chan's voice immediately stopped Seungkwan from whatever nonsense Seungkwan might have in his head. “Do you know any cheap but reliable clinics around here?”

*******

Fortunately, Chan's injury was not career-ending. It was indeed, just a sprain. All Chan needed to do was follow Taehyun's advice and rest at Seungkwan's place for a week. How does a minor sprain equal a week of not going to work?! Chan had protested at first, but after a good wake-up call from Seungkwan's smacking and Soonyoung's convincing, Chan reluctantly agreed to rest at home. 

Chan wasn't sitting around doing nothing, though. Every time it was the idols' break or when the practice was over, Soonyoung would always send a video of the idols' recorded dance practice, and ask Chan for feedback. Chan did his job accordingly and felt grateful for Soonyoung. Soonyoung tried to include him in their work even though Chan was not physically there. Occasionally, Soonyoung would video call Chan, showing Chan's face to the other idols as a reassurance that Chan was still alive. 

Speaking of idols, Yeonjun never failed to stop sending his daily texts to Chan. This time, though, their texts went more like this: 

"morning jagi~

feeling better? "

"Morning, I've been feeling better."

"thats good~

please come back soon

soonyoung hyung is scary 😨"

"You're talking bad about your teacher to the teacher's assistant behind his back. Aren't you worried that I'll rat you out?"

"i know you wouldnt~

i miss you jagi~

i mean it

please come back soon

or ill miss you to death 🥺"

"Haha, I miss you too."

Chan would not deny the fact that he had missed Yeonjun, and the other TXT members too. However, it was different for Yeonjun. Even through the video calls Soonyoung conducted, Chan missed Yeonjun greatly compared to the other idols. Could this be a physical yearning for Yeonjun? Regardless of how much Chan missed them, Chan couldn't wait to get back to work and see them again. 

In the blink of an eye, a week had passed, and Chan could finally leave the house with an ankle brace around his right ankle. The elevators were also working now, so Chan did not have to walk up flights of stairs with a high chance of worsening his injury. 

When it was time for dance schedules, the idols were delighted to see Chan in the flesh. They rushed over to pull Chan in a group hug while being mindful of Chan's injury. Beomgyu had dramatically cried in relief, while the others gave relieved smiles and laughed at Beomgyu's antics. Chan laughed too, glad to meet the idols face to face after a long while. After pulling away from the hug, He observed the idols closely—— Soobin, Beomgyu, Taehyun and Hueningkai. Huh? Where's Yeonjun? Chan felt disappointed at the lack of a certain friend. After all, didn't that friend claim to have missed him dearly? 

Chan must've asked that question verbally as Soobin replied, “Yeonjun hyung has some things to discuss with the higher-ups, so he'll come in later.”

As soon as Soobin finished his sentence, Yeonjun entered the practice room. Yeonjun's intimidating look had softened when Yeonjun laid his eyes on Chan. Chan smiled at Yeonjun, the disappointment from earlier replaced by happiness. Taking tentative steps, Yeonjun made his way towards Chan and pulled Chan in a tight hug. Has it been a week since Yeonjun last hugged him? It felt so long, though... Chan returned the hug, albeit not as tight as Yeonjun's vice yet soft grip. Today, Yeonjun had smelt like warm cotton. The smell and feeling of clean sheets enveloped Chan completely. Chan was aware that his surroundings were noisy, but Chan was instead basking in Yeonjun's cologne. 

It took a loud yelp from Beomgyu and someone clapping his hands——most likely Soonyoung——that Yeonjun pulled away from the hug, giving Chan a smile that did not quite reach his eyes. As Chan watched Yeonjun move away and put his things aside, Chan couldn't help but feel worried that something was off. 

Practice started. Yeonjun, for being the best dancer in the group, was making way too many mistakes. He'd either dance a beat too late, a few angles off or even cause a few slips in some parts of the choreography. Soonyoung was getting frustrated, on the verge of snapping at Yeonjun. However, Chan's pleading gaze and stepping in to guide Yeonjun eased some of Soonyoung's nerves. 

However, Soonyoung was never pleased. Thus, instead of the usual encouragement, Soonyoung only said, “Get enough rest and get yourself back together for tomorrow.” 

As soon as practice ended, the idols immediately left the practice room, Yeonjun included. When Chan looked at Soonyoung this time, he noticed that Soonyoung was trying to cool down. Chan patted Soonyoung's back, doing this whenever Soonyoung was frustrated. This was when Chan questioned if he could have done more to help the situation earlier. Should Chan have done something more? Was Chan's return making the practice worse? Was Chan's feedback from the past week not helpful enough? 

Chan felt a pat on his head. Soonyoung was patting his head, gently massaging Chan's scalp. At this action, Soonyoung smiled at Chan, looking less tense unlike before, asking, “Are you feeling better now?”

Chan nodded, responding with another question, “What about you?”

Soonyoung nodded as he smiled widely. “Better, thanks to you.” All tension seemed to leave Soonyoung's body as Soonyoung went to pack up his things, adding, “And I'll be even better when I head out later!”

“Oh yeah, right. You have plans later tonight.”

“Yup! It's perfect timing too! I need this hangout to clear my head for a moment.” 

“You didn't tell me who exactly you're hanging out with.” Chan raised an eyebrow, looking at Soonyoung noisily. 

“Someone. Anyways, Channie, I'll be heading home much later, so ask Kwan to come pick you up, okay?”

Chan sighed while crossing his arms, looking at Soonyoung in disappointment while asking, “Did you forget? Seungkwan has a late schedule today.”

“Oh...” Soonyoung looked contemplative before his eyes and mouth widened in realisation. “Shit! You're right! I'm sorry, Channie, for scheduling a hangout at a time where Seungkwan couldn't take you home immediately.”

“You know what, never mind. Why don't you invite me to your hangout, hm?” Chan raised his eyebrow once more at Soonyoung. 

This time, Soonyoung looked flustered, cheeks reddening and gaze averting. He took a deep breath before speaking, “T-truth is, Channie, it's actually a date—”

“You're going on a date?!” Chan's voice was louder than he intended, looking at Soonyoung in shock. “Who's the lucky one? Who did you score?”

Soonyoung was now standing next to the door, hand on the door handle as he stared at the clock in the studio. “Aha, would you look at the time? I'm running late for my date. It's fine, you can just hang around here. The security here is pretty tight anyway, so I doubt anything would happen to you. Why don't you take this opportunity to look around?” Soonyoung's hand pushed the door open, continuing with a nervous smile, “Anyway, bye-bye Channie, see you back at home!”

“Yah! Kwon Soonyoung! You—” Before Chan could finish his sentence, Soonyoung slammed the door shut, effectively cutting off Chan. Chan sighed as he kept his stuff and tidied up the practice room. 

********

Chan spent his dinnertime eating cup noodles in the convenience store beside the company alone. Most people claim that alone time is quality time. However, Chan believed otherwise. Now that Chan was alone, all his thoughts drifted to the fake smile from a certain idol, how that idol kept messing up today, and how dejected the idol had looked before leaving the practice room. 

This is no good, Chan thought as he stood up, throwing the trash away. With a thought to clear his head and Soonyoung's words of "looking around" ringing, Chan decided to look around the convenience store, despite not being here for the first time.

Chan's eyes landed on an aisle of tall drinks, all wrapped up with a familiar penguin mascot that everyone would know. It's the Paldo Pororo drinks, all in different colours which resemble different flavours. If one would ask most people what this drink meant, everyone would agree that this was their childhood drink. The sweet tooths would praise highly of this drink, while the realists would say that this drink was the leading cause of diabetes. As for Chan, his only opinion was that this drink was more than just a childhood drink to him.

Chan remembered when he enrolled in the prestigious dance school eight years ago, he was going through a tough time. He felt like the students around him were so much better than him. The fast-paced city life was overwhelming for him. He did not have anyone he could see as a friend. Worst of all, Chan missed his hometown and his family. Thus, all those feelings poured out in tears inside an empty practice room during late hours. 

When Chan was wallowing in his feelings, the door opened, revealing a feline boy around the same height as him who peeked into the room. Chan's teary eyes had made eye contact with the boy, whom Chan recognised as his new dance partner, who was also a jerk at their first meeting. 

As if to prove his point that he was a jerk, Yeonjun had slammed the door, and footsteps had gotten further away. Believing that Yeonjun wanted to leave Chan alone due to Chan's display of weakness, Chan continued wailing while he curled up even tighter, except Chan was quieter this round, in fear of anyone else walking by. 

Chan wasn't sure how long he was crying until he heard the door open again. In response, Chan curled in further, trying to make himself as small as possible, while holding his breath in hopes that whoever entered would not notice his crying. 

Then, he felt a nudge at his knee. He looked up, coming face to face with a pink Paldo Pororo drink and a pack of tissues outstretched towards him. Yeonjun was looking at Chan with an unreadable expression. For some reason, this small action warmed up his heart. Thus, he thanked Yeonjun shakily and drank the Pororo drink, finding that the plastic in the drink had been removed. After taking a huge sip, Chan wiped his tears with the tissues provided. 

Yeonjun never left, he only sat next to Chan while keeping a comfortable distance, the same unreadable expression never leaving Yeonjun. 

Looking at the Pororo drinks now made Chan think of the past. As he remembered Yeonjun’s attempt at comforting him, he thought of Yeonjun from earlier, worried for Yeonjun's well-being. What's up with Yeonjun? Was Yeonjun okay? Chan knew the answer to that last question, which was not. 

Thus, Chan picked up a pink Pororo drink and a small packet of tissues and paid for them at the counter. Before Chan entered the building, he tried to open the drink. After several failed attempts which resulted in the main lid not budging, he got the main lid open and tore off the plastic. He closed the main lid tight enough and headed into the company building. 

As Chan was in the elevator, he contemplated whether he was overreacting. Something was definitely up with Yeonjun, but could he be overstepping? After all, Chan was now looking for Yeonjun without considering whether or not the other needed personal space. Okay, maybe he wasn't overstepping. After all, if one of his friends were distraught, he would do the same thing, look for them first to ensure their well-being. 

When Chan exited the elevator, he was reminded that this company was a maze, built with walls in the same shade of grey. Chan sighed as he thought to himself, this is going to take a while. He opened multiple doors, some revealing empty and dark practice rooms, while some revealing other idols who were in the middle of dancing. In those situations, Chan could only sheepishly apologise and gently close the door. The more Chan looked around, the more Chan got worried and even started to question whether Yeonjun might still be in the company. 

After going through all the other rooms, Chan stood in front of a practice room at the end of the hallway. He knocked on the door, aware of the muffled music playing in the other room, and opened a small gap to take a peek. The loud music of LO$ER=LO♡ER played in the practice room. Yeonjun was curled up in a ball with his legs close to his chest and his head buried in his knees. At this moment, Chan wasn't looking at Yeonjun, but rather at his 14-year-old self, in the same position. A feeling of hurt came to his chest when he noticed Yeonjun's hurt and the familiarity of this hurt. There was an urge to do anything to make Yeonjun feel better. 

With quiet and quick steps, Chan entered the practice room and closed the door behind him. The loudness of the music covered Chan's traces, which could be Yeonjun's intention. After all, when someone heard music from this room, one would assume that an idol was doing their late-night practices, and would not want to bother them. 

Chan walked towards the curled-up figure and placed the items he got earlier next to Yeonjun, accidentally nudging Yeonjun's foot in the process. Not taking notice of this little mishap, Chan walked to the speaker to turn the music off. 

Before Chan could even press the pause button displayed on the lock screen, he jumped when he heard a visible sniffle and a “Chan-ah?” from the other man. Chan quickly paused the music and turned to look at Yeonjun, who was examining the drink and tissue pack on the floor, holding the both of them up at his eye level. 

“You remembered,” Yeonjun whispered, looking at Chan with surprise. 

Chan found himself smiling softly, and replying, “Yeah. It's the nicest thing you've done for me back then.” Chan meant those words wholeheartedly, clear in his tone. 

When both met eyes, Chan noticed that tears began to fall from Yeonjun's eyes. Panic and the familiar feeling of hurt overcame Chan, worried that he had said or done something wrong. 

What came out of Yeonjun's mouth next wasn't anything Chan was expecting. With an averted gaze and his tears opening like a dam, Yeonjun asked, “Chan-ah, can I... Can I hug you?”

Chan was baffled when he first heard that. Why was Yeonjun asking this question, as if Yeonjun did not fling himself at Chan whenever they ran into each other? “Y-you don't have to say yes. After all, you just got better from your injury, and uh... What if I hurt you even more?”

Maybe it could be the hurt feeling in Chan's chest, or the absurdity that Yeonjun was asking for permission now, or simply the desire for Yeonjun to stop crying, because the next thing Chan said was, “Yeah, you can hug me.” 

Yeonjun looked at Chan, shock and redness clear in his face. He must've cried a lot. Chan didn't know why he felt his heart get shot at that revelation. This was when Chan decided that he would do anything to make Yeonjun feel better, no matter how convoluted the method may be. 

Yeonjun stood up, and the next thing Chan knew, Yeonjun threw himself onto Chan while being careful not to hurt Chan, long limbs wrapping around him with a head buried in his shoulder. These thoughts first popped into Chan’s mind: Yeonjun's cologne hadn't worn off yet, the smell of clean sheets was as strong as ever, and Yeonjun was a pretty crier. However, these weren't the main things Chan should focus on now. He should focus on making Yeonjun feel better, which was Chan's expertise for being the oldest in his blood family. 

As soon as the both of them came into contact, Chan felt the wet patch on his shoulder and heard Yeonjun's quiet sobs next to his ear. Feeling that standing up wouldn't be the best way to comfort Yeonjun, for Yeonjun had put most of his weight on Chan, Chan tried his best to guide Yeonjun to the couch. The key phrase is that he tried his best, as someone at the ideal height of over 180cm was clinging to Chan’s short body.

When the both of them sat on the couch, Chan wrapped his arms around Yeonjun, with one hand lowering Yeonjun's head to rest on Chan's shoulder and another around Yeonjun's back. Both arms worked to gently rock Yeonjun, while Chan's mouth began to whisper, “It's okay, it's okay.” 

Most people would relate these phrases to sweet nothings, but that was not what Chan thought, because he realised that it was okay to cry. They stayed in each other's embrace until Yeonjun's sobs had died down. Yeonjun looked up from Chan's shoulder with teary red-rimmed eyes, now calmed down. Chan shuddered when he felt Yeonjun's breath in his ear. Nonetheless, Yeonjun's well-being came first. So, he put that feeling aside for now and asked Yeonjun, “Are you feeling better?”

Yeonjun nodded silently, still not letting go of Chan. Chan continued patting Yeonjun's back. When Yeonjun’s breathing fully evened out, Chan gently pulled away from the embrace. Chan was about to get up to get the drink and the tissues for Yeonjun, but he was stopped by a hand on his wrist, grabbing him tight. He came face to face with Yeonjun, who looked at Chan with a wounded yet pleading look. “Please... Don't leave me again...”

The meaning behind those words caused another knife to go through Chan's heart. “I'm not going anywhere far, I'll just be in this room. I'm going to get the tissues and something for you to drink. Do you want the Pororo drink or just plain water?” Chan was surprised at how soft his voice sounded, but that wasn't the main point. The main point was that he needed to come back to Yeonjun quickly. Otherwise, Yeonjun would be sad again, and Chan would be more miserable. 

“The Pororo drink. Please come back quickly.” Yeonjun sounded so quiet unlike his usual self, and that scared Chan. Thus, when Yeonjun let go, Chan practically sprinted across the room, as quick as his injury would allow him, and gathered the pack of tissues and the requested drink. 

Within a few seconds, Chan returned to the couch with the items and plopped down next to Yeonjun. He handed the drink and tissues to Yeonjun, which Yeonjun quietly thanked Chan for. As Yeonjun took a sip from the opened drink and blew his nose, Chan only stared in worry. 

When Yeonjun looked at Chan, Chan immediately broke eye contact, looking down at the floor. The first thing Yeonjun said in his raspy voice was, “Sorry about ruining your shirt.”

Surprisingly, Chan wasn't aware of the tears and snot on his shirt until Yeonjun had pointed it out, taking a glance at his left shoulder Yeonjun had just cried on. Chan could not find it in himself to care, so he only replied, “It's fine, I don't really mind it.”

A beat of silence passed, until Yeonjun spoke again after drinking more of the sugary drink, “Aren't you going to ask me about what's wrong?”

“Well, sometimes some people don't want to talk about what's wrong,” Chan replied, averting his gaze and fiddling with his index fingers. “But if you do want to talk about it, I don't mind lending you a listening ear.”

“Thank you,” Yeonjun whispered, followed by a bitter chuckle. “I'd rather still tell you, though.” 

Chan turned his full attention to Yeonjun, clasping both his hands and looking at Yeonjun, as he asked the most asked question in a therapist's office, “What's wrong?”

Yeonjun took a deep breath, looking at Chan as he adjusted his position, shifting closer to Chan. The bitter smile from earlier never left his face as he spoke, “Sometimes I feel like I'm pretending.”

The first sentence resonated with Chan. However, this was about Yeonjun, not Chan. So, he nodded, encouraging Yeonjun to continue. 

“Like, people keep calling me the fourth generation IT boy, the Bighit Legendary Trainee, where I was always ranked first in singing, rapping, and dancing, but sometimes I just feel like the people around me are wrong. I'm not that good, there are better idols out there, there are still many things that I'm lacking in, yet people still believe that I'm the best role model and even the best idol to exist.

“Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve these solo opportunities given to me. Sometimes I just feel like I'm lying to everyone around me, even you. Sometimes I feel like the person who everyone around me claims to be is different from the person of who I really am. I always have to pretend that I'm good at everything people claim I'm good at, otherwise then... What's the point then? If I'm not good at dancing, at singing, at rapping, at composing or even writing lyrics, then what else am I good at? What use is Choi Yeonjun if he can't even do all of these right? I just... I just feel like I'm not good enough to be the Choi Yeonjun everyone wants me to be.” 

Yeonjun's voice sounded broken and tired. Every word said by Yeonjun was a knife thrown straight into Chan's heart. The grip on his hands had tightened, but he tried his best to look unfazed by Yeonjun's words. Silence followed after that. Chan should have said something, but Chan was at most an older brother, not a therapist. Thus, would his words make the situation worse? 

“I just... I just want to say... You've always been working hard.” 

“Please... Please don't lie to me. You've seen how I was earlier today.”

“It's an off day for you, isn't it?” Yeonjun nodded in response. “Regardless, I can see how much effort you were putting in today. So, even if you aren't in the best state, you've tried your best to work with your current state. So, I'll still say, you've worked hard today, too.”

Seeing Yeonjun's red-rimmed eyes caused Chan to panic once again. However, Yeonjun placed his hand onto Chan's clasped hands, giving Chan a soft smile and replying, “I... Needed to hear that. Thanks, I promise I'll work harder tomorrow.”

Chan took a deep breath and faced Yeonjun, but what Chan saw instead was his reflection. “I think I should say some things as well.”

“Go on.” A gentle squeeze from Yeonjun was an encouragement for Chan to talk. 

“I'll say, you're the best performer I've ever met among all the people I've worked with, and Soonyoung hyung shares the same sentiments as me. You're just so amazing, and I'll say this again, you work so hard. The fact that you're willing to stay up late and practise your dance just shows how much you care about your dancing. You keep saying that you're pretending, but honestly, you're not. You've always been this good. You may not believe all of these now, but just know that these are my true thoughts about you, since you and I both know I could not lie.

“Even if one day people around you change their minds, you'll still be okay. You still have your group members to turn to, and from what I've observed, the bond you have between them is precious, so please treasure it. You also have Seungkwan and Soonyoung hyung, both who also admire you despite not saying it out loud. And, there's also me. Yeonjun-ah, your outstanding performing skills wasn't the only reason why I like you. I like your kindness, your big, big heart that has too much to give, your inner hyung to take care of the people around you, the way you always give words of affirmation to the people around you, and the fact that you're obsessed with mint chocolate,” Chan laughed at the last part. “Yeonjun isn't just the most popular idol now, he's also all of what I've mentioned earlier. And all these people, they see you for that.”

Chan felt his eyes sting after saying words at least two paragraphs long. Looking down at his clasped hands, he noticed that the hand on top was shaking. As Chan turned his head towards Yeonjun, tears flowed out of Yeonjun's eyes. Chan panicked, his body freezing as he was hopeless about stopping the flow of tears. 

There were arms around Chan again, with Yeonjun's face in Chan's shirt. “Thank you...” Yeonjun's muffled voice vibrated against Chan's shirt, and Yeonjun brought himself closer to Chan, hugging Chan in a comfortable position. “Just... Stay like this for a while...”

Chan couldn't find any reason to disagree, so he allowed Yeonjun to use him as a pillow. Thinking back to what was said, Chan visibly frowned. It was scary saying those words, as he felt like his tears could fall at any moment. 

*******

As the comeback date was nearing, the schedule for the idols and the choreographers was even more jam-packed than ever. Night practices dragged into later nights, and nights with fruitful sleep turned into sleepless nights. Chan even found himself camping in the company along with Soonyoung, monitoring the choreography so many times that Chan could dance to it with his eyes closed and an imaginary mic stand. 

Even after the MV for their comeback had dropped, Soonyoung, Chan and the idols were still busy, making sure that the final choreography was in tip-top shape, so that the idols could perform the same choreography in multiple music shows over and over again with the best versions of themselves. When Soonyoung the perfectionist had said a singular “Perfect!” at their final run for the day, everyone cheered in relief. 

The only times Soonyoung and Chan didn't have to work were when the idols headed for music shows. Even so, both of them effortlessly attend every music show to support the boys and discuss other idols' dancing skills among themselves. Despite it being the same choreography that Soonyoung and Chan were tired of seeing, they couldn't help but feel a sense of accomplishment when their choreography was performed on a big stage, and even more pride when said choreography nabbed some awards for the idols. Regardless of the idols' win, loud claps and screams never failed to ring through from both Soonyoung and Chan——Soonyoung was the one mainly shouting. 

For Chan though, whenever he watched the performances, his eyes couldn't help but land on Yeonjun, regardless if Yeonjun was in the centre or the sides. See, Chan knew that Yeonjun was an amazing dancer since they were younger, but no matter what Yeonjun did on the stage, Chan couldn't help but feel impressed. Yeonjun always had an aura that pulled people in, facial expressions that matched the vibe of the music, and a body that could move as naturally as breathing. Chan was staring, but how could he not when his friend was a star under the spotlight?

Staring at his friend dancing through the lenses in front of his eyes, Chan could not help but notice the distance between them. Even when he knew that this Yeonjun was the same Yeonjun who would cling to Chan at any given chance, at this moment, there was an obvious distance that Chan did not like between the both of them. There was an urge to close that distance and chase the star. However, would Chan even be able to transverse that long distance? Would the star get further away from Chan with every step Chan took? Even if Chan managed to chase that star, can Chan proudly stand next to the star when he doesn't shine brightly? 

Chan shouldn't be having thoughts like these. He should be happy that TXT won another music show, laughing at Beomgyu singing about cars. Soonyoung noticed that Chan looked off, as Chan felt a comforting hand on his shoulder. However, Chan only smiled reassuringly.

**********

“Seungkwan please, don't drink. If you were to drink, we're going to have to stay over at TXT's dorm tonight.” Chan's pleading voice transversed through the two males' ears as they strolled down the hallway. 

“Well I don't see much of a problem with that, I think secretly, you want to stay over as well.”

Chan looked startled and baffled upon hearing that. “Boo Seungkwan! You watch your words! We're going to get in trouble with the higher-ups! Last I checked, they only allowed us to come over, not stay the night!”

“Lee Chan! You're still in the same goody two shoes as before, huh?!”

Both Seungkwan and Chan glared at each other. Soonyoung eventually got in between them, slinging his arms around their shoulders and saying, “Guys. We're in a public space.”

Chan's glare turned to look at Soonyoung this time. “Right, Soonyoung hyung as well. You aren't the driver, but you better not drink too much! Your drunk ass was really difficult to deal with last time!”

Soonyoung silently nodded with a sheepish smile, while Seungkwan glared at Chan and protested, “Why are you lecturing us like children when you clearly don't have a high tolerance as well?!”

“That's because the both of you are worse than me! And I'm a responsible drinker!”

“That's what a non-responsible drinker would say!”

“But Channie is right, Seungkwan. We won't be able to go home today if you're going to drink.”

“You—!” Seungkwan had looked offended at both of them, while Soonyoung and Chan exchanged mischievous grins. “Fine.” Seungkwan sighed. “I never liked drinking anyway.”

The trio eventually stood at a door with the numbers engraved on it. “This is the place,” Chan said after checking the text sent by Yeonjun. 

Seungkwan knocked on the door. Soon enough, the door opened, revealing Soobin, who smiled softly upon noticing their arrival. “Hey hyungs and sunbaenim,” Soobin greeted after opening the door widely. “Please come in.”

In no time, they headed towards the dining area, greeted by the other idols with smiles. Yeonjun and Beomgyu were helping to set up the table, while Taehyun and Kai were helping to serve the food. Thanks were given to the idols, and everyone immediately settled down to eat. With Soonyoung's craziness, Seungkwan's talkative attitude, and Chan's sense of humour, the dinner table was filled with chatter and laughter, along with the food on the plates getting less. 

When all the food was finished, the idols began to clear the table, but Soonyoung, Chan and Seungkwan stepped in to help. The idols were insistent, claiming that Soonyoung, Chan and Seungkwan were guests, so the idols should do the cleaning instead. Yeonjun even attempted to use the same pleading fox eyes on Chan, but Soonyoung pulled Chan away and made Chan carry the plates to the sink. Although the idols were insistent, the guests' stubbornness was completely unmatched. Thus, the idols finally gave in and allowed the guests to help. 

Thanks to teamwork, the cleanup was handled in less than no time. While Soobin and Beomgyu went to look for items to prepare for the games later, the rest made themselves comfortable in the living area. Kai, Taehyun, Yeonjun and Chan sat on the couch——Yeonjun pulled Chan to sit next to him——while Soonyoung and Seungkwan sat on the floor. As Yeonjun's arms were wrapped around Chan, Chan felt warm and unwanted thoughts flooded his head. Yeonjun smelt like musky wood and the sea today. Chan didn't remember the sea smelling this good. 

“You're cute,” Yeonjun spoke softly, while everyone else was preoccupied with Seungkwan's story. 

Despite Yeonjun's soft voice, it caught the attention of Chan as Chan looked at the other, responding with a “Huh?”

Yeonjun smiled softly and adjusted Chan's glasses. “The glasses. You should wear them more often, jagi~”

Heat flooded Chan's face and he turned to look at the front. He softly cleared his throat, replying, “They're prescription glasses.”

“Prescription glasses or not, you still look cute in them.” How is Chan hearing Yeonjun when Soonyoung was laughing loudly? 

Fortunately, Chan did not need to think of a comeback, as Beomgyu and Soobin returned with five bottles of soju and eight empty cups. Chan glanced at Seungkwan first, as Beomgyu exclaimed, “Let's play some games!”

This action garnered the shock of the oldest of the idol group. “Drinking games?! Really?!”

“Why not?” Beomgyu asked, feigning innocence, but the glint in his eyes implied otherwise. 

“We have underaged kids here!” Yeonjun gestured to Kai and Taehyun next to him in an exaggerated motion. However, both Taehyun and Kai laughed in response. 

“Come on, hyung. It's not like I've never drunk alcohol before,” Kai spoke first, his cute tone giving off a mischievous vibe. 

“Me too,” Taehyun had responded this time in English, before continuing in Korean, “Besides, we can legally drink in some countries.”

“We're in Korea now,” Yeonjun retorted disapprovingly. 

“And? We're drinking at home, under adult supervision,” Taehyun fired back, gesturing at both Soobin and Beomgyu in the same exaggerated motion. 

Yeonjun sighed, Soobin smiled innocently, while Beomgyu grinned in victory. As Beomgyu began pouring the soju, Chan spoke up first, “Actually, Seungkwan isn't drinking. He has to drive us back.”

“Ah,” Beomgyu looked at Chan in understanding, then smiled at both Chan and Seungkwan. “It's fine, Seungkwan hyung doesn't have to drink.”

“Aish, don't listen to this brat,” Seungkwan replied and smacked Chan's foot, which earned a yelp from Chan. As Yeonjun rubbed Chan's back, Seungkwan continued, “If I don't drink, it would be unfair to everyone else.”

“Don't worry, it's fine!”

“Then I'll drink for Seungkwan!”

Both Beomgyu and Chan spoke at the same time, but Chan's words were what caught the most attention. Soonyoung and Seungkwan looked shocked, while the idols looked concerned, especially Yeonjun. “Are you sure about this?” Yeonjun asked Chan softly, to which Chan nodded in response. 

“Don't worry, my alcohol tolerance isn't that bad. At least, it's better than both Soonyoung hyung and Seungkwan combined.”

“Yah!” Soonyoung and Seungkwan shouted simultaneously, while the idols laughed at their antics. 

“You're going to get it later, Lee Chan!”

“If you want to drink, just say so!” Seungkwan exclaimed emotionally with a glare, which garnered Chan's contagious laughter. 

“No, this has nothing to do with my personal drinking preferences—”

“Look at how much he's lying!” Seungkwan exclaimed with a wide mouth. 

“But the fact that I don't want us to end up in an accident and on the news!”

Laughter could be heard from everyone around them, most notably Seungkwan’s and Chan’s laughter. Once everyone had calmed down, Beomgyu began handing out cups filled with minimal alcohol. “Okay, we're playing never have I ever. Everyone knows the rules of the game?”

Everyone nodded in response. Beomgyu clapped his hands together and exclaimed, “Perfect! Okay, we'll start from the oldest, which for the first time, isn't you, Yeonjun hyung.” Yeonjun glared at Beomgyu in response as Beomgyu gestured to Soonyoung. 

Soonyoung looked over at Chan, the coy smile on his lips and teasing glint in his eyes as he said, “Never have I ever enrolled in a prestigious dance academy.”

Fuck. Chan took a shot from his cup. Yeonjun took a shot too. In no time, both cups were filled with the same amount by Beomgyu. “You know, I would ask you guys to elaborate, but everyone here already knows the gist of it, so...” Beomgyu gestured to Seungkwan before exclaiming, “Seungkwan hyung! Your turn!”

“Never have I ever needed prescription glasses or contact lenses.” 

“Fuck,” Beomgyu cursed out loud and took a shot. Beomgyu's words described Chan's current thought perfectly, as Chan took another shot. Drinking twice in a row was a coincidence, but the fact that it came from both Soonyoung and Seungkwan, Chan couldn't help but feel like they were targeting him. It seemed like more people had to drink this round, as Soonyoung's and Seungkwan's cups remained untouched. 

Oh, these two are going to get it, especially Seungkwan. “Never have I ever thought that Chan was not so good.”

No one lifted their cups after Chan said that. Chan aggressively patted Seungkwan's back and said, “Yah. Lift your cup up.”

“Why should I? You're so good,” Seungkwan replied with a rare genuineness, which surprised Chan. 

However, Chan was not going to admit defeat like this. “Yah! He's always like this only during drinking games!” Chan exclaimed with a laugh and pointed at Seungkwan. 

“But you are good, though.”

“Come on, Seungkwan,” Soonyoung urged as he lifted his cup. “I'm going to drink from mine!”

Chan looked at Soonyoung in shock as he asked, “Wait, you're really going to drink?”

Soonyoung laughed and waved his hand, putting the cup down. Chan contagiously laughed, which spread like a virus, prompting everyone to laugh. When Chan felt the arms around him tighten, he looked up, finding Yeonjun not joining in the laughter and instead looking to the front with an unreadable expression. 

When the laughter died down, Chan gently patted Yeonjun, reminding Yeonjun of his turn. Yeonjun lifted his cup and said, “Never have I ever thought that Chan was good.” Wait, aren't you supposed to say things you haven't done?! If that were the case, Yeonjun... Chan felt hurt at the conclusion his thoughts had come to. 

Before Chan could spiral further, he was shocked to see Yeonjun chugging down the drink, with everyone else following suit. Seungkwan, on the other hand, lifted his cup for Chan to take. Chan laughed and drank from Seungkwan's cup, but his cup remained untouched. 

“You can do that?!” Kai asked in shock as Beomgyu began refilling the cups again. 

“People don't normally do that though, because you're supposed to drink as little as possible,” Taehyun explained. 

When everyone's cups were filled up, Soobin had a playful glint in his eyes as he said, “Never have I ever performed in front of other people.” Groans could be heard throughout the room as everyone lifted their cups, including Soobin laughing maniacally. 

Chan assessed the people in the room: TXT who were idols, Soonyoung who was in the school's dance team, Seungkwan who was in the school's choir, and Chan, who was also in the school's dance team. 

Chan drank from his cup, sighing. This wasn't targeted at all, this was to get everyone drunk. 

**********

Chan lost track of the amount of shots he chugged down. His surroundings blurred in and out, with a fuzzy and unfocused feeling in his head. When Chan returned to his senses, he was more aware of the shouting around him. Soobin and Beomgyu were shouting at each other, with Kai holding Soobin back and Taehyun holding Beomgyu back, trying to break apart the fight between them. Looking to his left, he saw Soonyoung passed out on the floor, with Seungkwan trying to wake Soonyoung up. 

Chan's head felt heavy, he should get some water to sober up. However, before he could get up, the arms holding him tightened, keeping Chan in place. Chan turned around, coming face to face with Yeonjun who was drunk——to be honest, everyone apart from Seungkwan was. “Don't... Don't leave me again...” Yeonjun spoke in a quiet but slurred voice with a sad expression, burying his head into Chan's shirt. 

Chan ignored the thundering heartbeat and stinging eyes as he looked to the front when Taehyun pulled Beomgyu away. “I just... Wanted to get some water—”

Yeonjun's hand reached the floor and picked up a cup filled with transparent liquid. “Here.”

Chan thanked Yeonjun and took the cup, drinking it down almost immediately. Chan's head was still fuzzy, but at least he was more aware of his surroundings now. This was the same cup Yeonjun used in their drinking game. Realising this, Chan flushed and quickly put the cup on the floor. He turned his attention to the front, watching Taehyun drag Beomgyu away from the living area, while Kai tried to hold Soobin back from chasing after Beomgyu. 

“I don't... I don't like it when you put yourself down like that...” Chan turned to face Yeonjun after hearing Yeonjun's slurred voice. Yeonjun still wore that same sad expression when he said those words. 

Chan felt a small crack in the walls form around him. “What do you mean?” When Chan's voice came out, he realised how soft and slurred his speech had become. 

“Earlier... When you said you were not so good..”

“That was just for laughs, though.” Chan laughed, but it lacked the usual contagious laughter. “I-I don't...”

“During the last encore... You... You looked off... You've also... Looked off before...”

Yeonjun noticed that? How? Chan and Soonyoung were sitting quite far back, so how did Yeonjun notice Chan's expression despite that obvious distance? 

“I just... You're... You're so good, Chan-ah....”

“Please stop...” It could be the alcohol pushing Chan's buttons, or Yeonjun's words triggering a dark part of Chan's mind because what came out of Chan's mouth next sounded hostile. “Do you... Do you know... That I'm actually not that good?!” 

Yeonjun shook his head, confusion shown in his features. Chan felt his inner wounds reopening, the walls around him crumbling, as he spoke, slurred and quick, “It's the truth! Remember the school's evaluation at the end of the year? I didn't pass!” Chan's voice cracked, and he felt his eyes getting watery. “The head... The head called me into the office and told me, point blank, that I was expelled for not reaching the passing mark, told me to pack up and go back to where I came from, and he said... He said that I wasn't good enough and said that he shouldn't have accepted me into the school! He's right though! I never became the star I always wanted to be! My dancing is still lacking compared to Soonyoung hyung! You've made it this far after so long, then what about me?! I'm nothing when I stand next to you! He's right, I'm just a waste of space, an untalented dancer, and worst of all, I'm—”

Chan's words were cut off when he felt something soft on his lips. Chan's eyes went wide when he realised that at some point, Yeonjun had turned Chan around and kissed Chan with such strength and contrasting softness that left Chan breathless. Yeonjun pulled Chan closer to him, firmly keeping Chan in place. Although someone of the same sex was kissing Chan, especially when the thought of this very scenario made him uncomfortable, Chan did not want to pull away from the kiss. Yeonjun's lips were soft, and although they tasted like peach soju, which was not the most pleasant taste, that was the least of Chan's worries. Chan's current worry mainly consisted of holy shit, he's being kissed by a hot guy who's way out of his league, but he did not want this kiss to stop, evidenced by his body that craved for Yeonjun's touch and the taste of Yeonjun's lips. 

Yeonjun pulled away from the kiss, and they both gasped for air. Chan found himself lying on the couch with his face flushed after the kiss. Looking up at Yeonjun, Chan noticed that Yeonjun's face was red, staring at Chan with a familiar intense gaze, yet unfamiliar to Chan due to the traces of sadness in that gaze. Chan's gaze returned to Yeonjun's lips, staring at the pouty heart shape formed. Yeonjun opened his mouth, but before anything was said, Yeonjun lay on Chan with his eyes closed. Soon enough, soft snores escaped Yeonjun's mouth, which confirmed Chan's suspicions that Yeonjun had fallen asleep. 

This was when Taehyun and Kai entered the living area. When Chan looked around, he noticed that Soobin, Beomgyu, Soonyoung and Seungkwan were no longer in the room. Noticing the question mark on Chan's head, Taehyun replied, “Soobin hyung and Beomgyu hyung are sleeping in their rooms, while Seungkwan hyung has taken Soonyoung hyung downstairs.”

“Ah,” was the only response that escaped Chan's mouth. Taehyun approached the couch and effortlessly lifted Yeonjun. Fortunately, Yeonjun was still sound asleep, his soft snores heard. 

“I'll be taking Yeonjun hyung back to his room now. Sorry for troubling you, Chan hyung.” Chan only smiled and waved at Taehyun's apology, swinging his legs to touch the floor. When Chan stood up, he noticed how unstable his footing was. Kai quickly went over to support Chan, slinging Chan’s arm around Kai’s shoulder and letting Chan put most of his weight on Kai's body.

“Careful there, we don't want another ankle sprain now, no?” Taehyun was the one who spoke while adjusting Yeonjun, carrying Yeonjun like a sack of potatoes. “Kai will lead you out. See you another time, hyung.”

Chan smiled and waved in response, replying with a “Thank you,” as Kai opened the door. Kai led Chan out of the dorms with a firm grip on Chan’s body. The very frequent stumble of Chan’s footsteps slowed down their journey. Fortunately, Kai was not a conversationalist, so Chan did not have to deal with Kai’s verbal complaints. Even so, the sober part of Chan felt sorry for Kai having to deal with the drunk mess that was Chan.

With the only sound in this silent night being their footsteps, Chan was left to bask in his thoughts. For the first time in 22 years, he was kissed by a hot guy. He could still feel the familiar tingling press of lips against lips, the taste of peach soju in his mouth, and touches that made his skin tingle. Imagining the scene made him feel hot all over, despite the chilly winds contradicting his inner feelings. There was no way that the kiss happened, right? This had to be some sick fantasy that conjured in the deranged part of his mind. If it were a fantasy, why did the sensation of a certain man’s lips and the touches left all over his body feel real? Does alcohol cause people to hallucinate, now? Most importantly, why couldn’t Chan bring himself to hate this kiss?

The more Chan thought, the more the waters rose in uncharted territory. His soberness morphed into tiredness, with an urge to close his eyes and shut his mind down for a moment. The last thing he saw was a familiar white Hyundai Grandeur and a familiar figure rushing towards him before Chan was out like a light.

*******

Chan did not contact Yeonjun at all ever since that night. As the most mature of his friend group, the first thing he did when he was sober was to block Yeonjun's contacts and shut himself away from the outside world to lock himself in his thoughts. He spent most of his time alone in the bathroom or bedroom when Soonyoung was out. He made Soonyoung worry, as Soonyoung would offer reassuring squeezes and cuddle Chan whenever they went to sleep. Soonyoung would always offer Chan to talk about it, but Chan would always decline with the same reassuring smile. 

In his alone time, Chan kept replaying the kiss over and over in his head, resulting in burns on his face and weakness in his knees as he imagined the situation. He wondered what would happen if things escalated, imagining a tongue that would pry his lips open and a pair of lips that would travel lower and lower. Why was he... Reacting so much to this? It's just a kiss, a drunken kiss. Yet in that so-called drunken kiss, Chan could feel Yeonjun pour his heart out to him. Chan was also familiar with the saying that goes, people tend to be more honest when they are drunk. However, a quick search on the Internet proved to Chan that this was only sometimes the case, as some people would drunkenly kiss merely the reason of just because. He sighed and placed the phone aside, feeling disappointed at the revelation he had come to. That being, there was a possibility that Yeonjun did not like Chan in that way. 

What about Chan? Did Chan like Yeonjun in that way? I love you, a kiss on the lips, a touch, a hug. If fairy tales or TV dramas were a reliable guide, these were signs that a man and a woman love each other romantically. Take, for instance, Chan's father and mother who had met in a dance club and married each other only after a year. 

But in this case, Yeonjun is not a woman, but a man, and could it be that Chan likes, no, loves Yeonjun like that? 

Chan had nothing against gay people. Take Soonyoung, for instance, who came out to Chan about his sexuality after one debate about gay chickens. Chan had to convince Soonyoung that Chan is amazing with the way he is and that Chan doesn't mind queer people. Not only that, Seungkwan is friends with everyone, including some queer people. Whenever meeting them, Chan did not hold any stigma against queer people and was accepting of them. 

Even so, the last thing Chan expected was for himself to end up queer. He had fantasised about getting a girlfriend when he was in high school. He even tried dating girls after he graduated, which never lasted after a few dates. Even so, Chan believed that he would find someone someday, and did not mind that he did not have a girlfriend at his current age. 

However, Yeonjun stepped into his life again. Instead of someone annoying his life, he became someone who toppled Chan's entire worldview, having a constant presence that Chan welcomed, someone whom Chan wanted to be closer to. These feelings reminded Chan of his crush back in high school, which left him questioning if he could share these very same feelings for a guy. 

All of a sudden, everything clicked. The constant want to stare at the star even if his eyes would burn, the constant wish to make it to the centre of the star's core, the constant yearning for Yeonjun's touch and Yeonjun's lips on his, and the constant desire of Yeonjun's presence next to Chan... Chan loves Yeonjun. Chan loves Yeonjun? Chan loves Yeonjun...

No way... Chan loves Yeonjun... Romantically... 

Chan gasped at the revelation, at the conclusion. The answer scared Chan, because what do you mean Chan loves Yeonjun? What do you mean a random insignificant guy fell for the most popular idol in K-pop? What do you mean an unnamed dancer without much of a name wants to spend the rest of his life with the 4th generation IT boy? Chan was in uncharted territory, and the waters nearly swallowed him. 

Chan's imagination began to run wild. Chan wished he could hear Yeonjun say "I love you." Three words were easy to say and were spoken by everyone at least once in their lifetime. Yet, as common as that phrase is, Chan didn't mind if Yeonjun repeated the phrase repeatedly, followed by kisses all over his face. Chan's face burned up at the thought, a smile curling his lips. 

However, Chan felt scared. Reality hit him, the darkest part of his mind judging Chan for the thoughts Chan was currently having. Was this okay? Was it really okay for him to feel like this, after being straight for the past 22 years? Was it fine for him to love a guy romantically? Can he... Be in a romantic relationship with Yeonjun? 

This was one of the many thoughts that bothered Chan. Yeonjun was the brightest star, the most popular and sought-after idol in the industry. Unsurprisingly, Yeonjun may have many potential suitors before and after becoming an idol. Many potential suitors meant many people who were way better than Chan in any way possible. Thus, there was a huge possibility that Yeonjun may not like Chan in the way Chan expected, but would only see Chan as another suitor. However, in the near-zero possibility that Yeonjun chose Chan, what of those potential suitors? What if because of Chan, Yeonjun's career went downhill? After all, how can a speck in the darkness possibly end up with a star, when this speck could dim the star? 

Remembering what happened that night, all Chan felt was hurt. He felt like if he were to slap himself, it wouldn't be enough. Imagine he kissed someone, but that situation was never talked about between the both of them. How would he feel then?  If he were in the person's shoes, it can be safely assumed that someone did not want to mention the kiss. He would even take it further, believing that this someone did not reciprocate his feelings. Shit. Shit. Shit. 

Chan jumped when he felt movement from the door behind him. Looking up offendedly, he saw Seungkwan standing at the door, crossing his arms and glaring at Chan. “Get up.”

“What?!” Chan asked, clearly looking offended, but he still stood up nonetheless. 

“You've been cooped up in there for too long. Clearly, there's something wrong, and we need to talk it out.” Chan opened his mouth to interject, but as Seungkwan firmly said “Now,” Chan sighed and followed Seungkwan. 

When Chan reached the living room, he was surprised to see a bunny in a giant human form sitting on the couch. “Soobin?!” Chan called out in surprise, and Chan's greeting was returned by Soobin's polite smile and a wave. “What's Soobin doing here?” Chan asked Seungkwan as Seungkwan gestured for Chan to sit down. 

As Chan sat on the sofa next to Soobin, Seungkwan sat down next to Chan and responded, “To be the voice of reason in case I get too impatient with you.”

“Excuse me, what?” Soobin, the very same person who had asked Chan if he would visit a dentist or a surgeon if teeth grew in his ass, being the voice of reason? 

Seungkwan turned off the TV, plopping the remote somewhere far as he exclaimed, “Therapy for Lee Jung Chan is now in session!”

“Wait, what therapy?!” Chan immediately voiced out, but both of them ignored him. 

“And I, Professor Boo, a people's person hereby commence this session by...” Chan felt a smack on his right arm. It wasn't painful at all, but Chan looked offended. 

“Yah! What was that for?!”

“Your fucking wake-up call! You should be lucky I didn't hit your dunce face!” Seungkwan shouted at Chan, which caused Chan to rub the part he was hit with a pout on in lips. Soobin only watched them quietly but amusingly, the grin on his lips being an obvious indication. 

Seungkwan cleared his throat and continued, “Anyway, moving on, Chan, I'm sure you know the reason why I called you here today.”

Chan took a deep breath and sighed, looking dejected as he remembered the last thought in his head. “I... Fucked up.”

Seungkwan audibly gasped loudly, flipping through some random notebook as he exclaimed, “Wait, this wasn't what I was expecting!” 

“You're being awfully loud for a therapist!”

“Anyway, what exactly did you fuck up on?”

“I...” Chan paused, allowing the hurt and guilt to sink in before continuing, “After Yeonjun kissed me, I blocked him and did not contact him after that.”

“No fucking way,” Seungkwan gasped loudly again. “Is Channie finally graduating from stupidity school?”

“What?!” Chan looked offended once again. “I was never stupid, okay?!”

“Oh, but you are! These past few months, you have been the stupidest I’ve ever seen you be in your entire life, and I've seen your stupidest times during high school!”

“I'm never stupid! I graduated at the top of my class!”

“So what if you graduated at the top of your class?! Being able to score well doesn't necessarily mean you're smart!”

“Sunbae has a point,” Soobin interjected with a playful glint in his eyes. 

Seungkwan snickered and clapped in response. Chan sighed, admitting defeat. 

“So...” Seungkwan started, twirling a pen between his fingers. Where did Seungkwan even get that pen from anyway? “Why exactly did you do that?”

Chan's dejected expression returned, as he looked at the floor. “I...” He trailed off. How was he supposed to explain himself? 

“Let me rephrase this,” Soobin cut in when Chan did not respond for a good minute. “Chan hyung, do you love Yeonjun?”

Ah, that question. Does Chan love Yeonjun? But, what kind of love was Soobin talking about? “What... Love?” 

“Oh my goodness!” Seungkwan exclaimed, throwing the pen away. “You're still not getting that graduation certificate!”

Soobin, however, was patient as he replied to Chan's question, “A love with your significant other, a love where you and them share all of yourself and themself, a love where you love each other romantically.”

Chan froze at the explanation. That love... That strong feeling he was currently feeling whenever he thought of Yeonjun. Like now, how he wished Yeonjun was here with him right now, with all of his heart that missed Yeonjun. But was this romantic love, or was Chan misinterpreting something? 

“I...” Chan started again, but this time, no one had interjected. “I miss him... I...” The heat was evident on his face, and he brought himself closer, trying to hide from the world. “I want him to hug me, I want him to trail next to me, I want him to stay by my side, I want to hear him say I love you repeatedly, I want...” His voice cracked, and the next words were soft as he said, “I want him to kiss me.” 

Chan felt a weight being lifted off his shoulders, with many other weights pushing him down, after hearing Soobin say the words, “You love him.”

Chan took in a shaky breath as he felt his eyes getting teary. Fortunately, his face was still dry, and no one forced him to make his tears fall. “But...” Chan spoke once he had regained his composure, “But is this... Really okay?”

“Is this really okay?” Seungkwan mimicked the tone of the question, but his voice was softer and concerned. “Chan, that question is going to the collection of stupid things Chan has said. Of course, it's okay.”

“But... I'm straight?” Chan interjected first, but it sounded like a question. Considering his current circumstance though, is he straight? If Chan isn't straight in the first place, then... What is he? 

“Let me ask some simple questions, hyung just has to answer yes or no.” Soobin gently rested a hand on Chan's knee, then asked, “Would Chan hyung date Yeonjun hyung if Yeonjun hyung was a guy?”

But isn't Yeonjun already a guy? And from the way his body was reacting around Yeonjun, the feelings he caught when they spent time together, the answer was quite obvious. Thus, Chan nodded his head. 

“Okay, next question. Would Chan hyung date Yeonjun hyung if Yeonjun hyung was a girl?” 

Yeonjun as a girl... Isn't that just Yeonjun with the same personality, except as a girl? Picturing the scenario, imagining Yeonjun as a girl, Chan could still imagine himself falling for Yeonjun. Thus, Chan nodded his head. 

“Last question, would Chan hyung date Yeonjun hyung if Yeonjun hyung was neither a guy nor a girl?”

Yeonjun, who's not a guy or a girl... This concept was foreign to Chan, as he only heard Seungkwan mention it once. But, Yeonjun is still Yeonjun isn't it? Yeonjun, who looked scary and intimidating at first, but is someone soft and nice, a person full of love, a hardworking idol passionate about his job, a kid Chan met back when he was 14 who left a permanent mark on his life and a person who Chan wanted to give all love known in this universe to. Chan nodded without hesitation finally accepting that Lee Chan, indeed loves Choi Yeonjun.

“But... Is this really okay?” 

“What's not okay this time?” Seungkwan asked softly with concern. 

Everything. “He... He might not like me back... And...” Can Lee Chan, an ordinary guy from Iksan, be with THE Choi Yeonjun of TXT? Can they even be together, separated by at least a two-hour drive apart? Is everything okay? 

As Chan dove deeper into his thoughts, a hand rubbing his back grounded him for a while. Someone was whispering sweet nothings to him, that someone's voice being Soobin's, judging from a tone that reminded Chan of home. Is this the reason why Soobin was chosen as TXT’s leader? When Chan could finally look up at Soobin, Soobin asked something Chan wasn't expecting, “Hyung, did you know that life is filled with many risks?”

Despite Chan not answering, Soobin continued, “The paths that we choose to tread on all come with risks, forming relationships with other people come with risks, and dating, regardless of who that other person is, also comes with risks. However, when there are risks, there are also opportunities. Although the risks are always there, the opportunities will never always be there.” 

Chan looked confused, which caught Seungkwan's attention as he gently patted Soobin's shoulder and said, “Please try to use simpler terms.”

Soobin, noticing Chan's confusion after Seungkwan's gesture, cleared his throat and explained, “What I meant is, if both you and Yeonjun end up dating, which is a high possibility, there are risks there, and whether you want to bear those risks with Yeonjun hyung is up to you. But regardless of whether you end up dating or not, at least if you tell him how you feel, you would not feel like you've wasted your opportunity without regrets.”

“Basically, stop being such a baby and just tell him how you feel otherwise you'll be miserable in the future.”

Chan snorted at Seungkwan in response, giving a cracked laugh. However, this reminded Chan of graduating as a role model at the top of his high school. Instead of enrolling in any higher institute, he chose to work in his dad's dance studio and fully devote his life to dance. Was it risky? Yes. Everyone in school gave him an earful about his decision, but Seungkwan and Soonyoung were the only ones who encouraged him. Thus, Chan took this risk and did not regret it. If he hadn’t taken this risk, he wouldn't have started HOSHI×DINO with Soonyoung, wouldn't be in Seoul to meet TXT this up close, and definitely wouldn't have met Yeonjun all over again. 

Last time, Chan took this risk for his love for dance. Now, if he were to take this risk, he'd do it for his adoration for Yeonjun. Even so, even so... 

Chan asked out loud, “Is it... Is this really okay?” Is it okay to date the well-known, well-renowned, well-respected Choi Yeonjun of Tomorrow x Together? Is entering the star's orbit fine despite being a speck of darkness? 

Seungkwan audibly sighed, but Soobin replied, “This being, is it really okay to date Yeonjun hyung? Why not? It's just Yeonjun hyung.” When Soobin said those words, Chan finally understood. Chan loves Yeonjun, and that's enough. 

“Just go for it. I'm not stopping you, which is a good sign, it means you're not up to anything stupid. In case anything were to happen though, we'll be here for both you and Yeonjun, including Soonyoung hyung and the other TXT members.”

At Seungkwan's conviction and Soobin's nod, Chan never felt more grateful for this forced talk, finally realizing what he had to do. “Thank you, Soobin and Seungkwan hyung.”

“You only call me hyung at times like this!”

************

"Yeonjun, can we please talk?"

Right after sending Soobin off, Chan unblocked Yeonjun's contacts and sent a text to Yeonjun. Unfortunately, Chan did not receive any messages after that text. Yeonjun hadn't been texting him since that night, their last text the day before that drunken incident happened. If Chan were being honest, He missed Yeonjun's texts more than ever. 

On the last few days left in Seoul, Chan tried to enjoy himself, as he did not go to Seoul often. He joined Seungkwan at his radio station and wandered around the streets of Seoul with Soonyoung and Woozi in tow. Even with the distractions around such a big city, Chan was always distracted by his phone, always opening up Yeonjun's DMS to see if there were any new messages. Unfortunately, the last message will always be "Yeonjun, can we please talk?"

“You look like a wife waiting for your husband to come back from war,” Seungkwan commented once, and Chan's response was to deny that claim with a loud voice crack and a red face. 

“Why don't you go... Like, visit him? I could kindly help you out with that for once.”

“He might be busy. Also, our commission is done, we're no longer affiliated with that company.”

“Okay fine, go ruin your own chances. It's not like this is my relationship anyway.”

Truthfully, Chan was afraid of disturbing Yeonjun in his work, thus he did not consider calling him, spamming him with texts, or even paying a visit to the company. At the same time, Chan also felt like he was overstepping if he were to do all that, because what if Yeonjun didn't want to talk to him? Is all that's left really to sit here and do nothing? 

As Chan contemplated his next move, it was his final night in Seoul. Despite the moon hanging high in the air, Chan couldn’t find it in himself to sleep, glancing at Soonyoung's sleeping figure next to him. He was sitting on the bed, phone in hand, as he checked Yeonjun's DMS one last time. At this moment, a message was received, and Chan had to squint his eyes to check if it was from Yeonjun. 

The message indeed came from Yeonjun, as he sent a location to Chan and even texted, 

"text me when you reach there"

Glancing at the sleeping Soonyoung once more, Chan texted in their shared group chat that he was going out, although he doubted anyone would wake up at this hour anyway. He quickly put on something presentable, a jacket that was too thin for this weather, but Chan was rushing. Once putting it on, he pushed up his glasses, grabbed the car keys, and headed out. 

Fortunately, Chan had a legitimate driver's license and never had any incidents of crashing the car yet. Thus, he managed to reach the location with him and the car in one piece. He found himself in front of a familiar building. Upon closer inspection, isn't this building TXT's dorm? The night autumn cold seeped through his jacket, causing Chan to shiver and hug himself. He took out his phone and texted, 

"I'm here."

When the message was sent, three dots appeared at the bottom. A few seconds later, a message was sent from Yeonjun himself, 

"take the elevator up to the rooftop"

Chan did as told, entering the building and heading towards the elevators. 

As calming elevator music played in the background, Chan's mind was far from calm. This was when Chan realised he hadn't thought of what he was supposed to say to Yeonjun! Shit! Was he supposed to say I love you? What if... What if Yeonjun called Chan over to let him down gently, and say that he was drunk that night and didn't mean to kiss him?! What if Yeonjun explained that he doesn't feel the same way?! 

The ding from the elevators made Chan jump, indicating that he had arrived at his desired floor. Chan took a deep breath while stepping out of the elevator, and shakily walked towards the doors. It was the dead of the night, but Chan could only hear his thunderous loud heartbeat. 

There was a high chance that Yeonjun was behind this door, waiting for Chan. So this is it, Chan thought to himself. This was when the relationship between him and Yeonjun would either make or break. 

“But regardless of whether you end up dating or not, at least if you tell him how you feel, you would not feel like you've wasted your opportunity without regrets.”

“Basically, stop being such a baby and just tell him how you feel otherwise you'll be miserable in the future.”

Soobin and Seungkwan's voices popped up in Chan's head. With their voices and the realisation that this might be his last chance, Chan took a leap of faith. 

When the door opened, Chan heard the sounds of trumpets and cymbals clearly, albeit still soft. Something about this rhythm was familiar. The first thing that came to Chan's mind was a popular pop song. However, when Chan saw Yeonjun, standing in front of the railing, holding a bouquet, everything clicked. Chan remembered that song clearly, back when they were dance partners, back when they were kids with a lot of passion and higher aspirations, back when they chose this song to dance to at the school evaluations with the excuse of wanting to "stand out", back when Chan did the heavy lifting, with Yeonjun bearing some of the weight, all in hopes this dance would be their best. As Chan gasped in realisation, Yeonjun began to sing with his raspy yet clear voice. 

“You're just too good to be true

Can't take my eyes off of you 

You'd be like heaven to touch

I wanna hold you so much” 

As Yeonjun sang, he began walking towards Chan. Chan could only gasp, shocked and amazed at Yeonjun. Those eyes filled with adoration through Yeonjun's glasses, that soft smile on those pouty lips, those facial features Chan could never forget even after eight years. This time, Chan did not look away. 

“At long last love has arrived

And thank God I'm alive

You're just too good to be true

Can't take my eyes off of you”

Soon enough, Yeonjun was standing in front of Chan. Yeonjun handed the bouquet to Chan, which Chan noticed were sunflowers and cream tulips. Chan returned the smile as he accepted the flowers graciously. He did not know what the flowers meant, but the gesture itself and the softness in Yeonjun's eyes were all Chan needed to understand. 

“Pardon the way that I stare

There's nothing else to compare

The sight of you leaves me weak

There are no words left to speak”

When the flowers were handed over, Chan was the one who stared at Yeonjun this time through the flowers. Was it just Chan, or did Yeonjun look small at this moment? From the way Yeonjun averted his gaze, hunched his back, and fidgeted with his fingers, it was undeniable that Yeonjun was flustered. Even in this state, Yeonjun continued to sing, finally looking up at Chan as he sang the next verse. 

“But if you feel like I feel

Please let me know that it's real

You're just too good to be true

Can't take my eyes off you”

The instrumental played in the background. This was when Yeonjun offered his hand to Chan, while his other hand covered the lower half of his face. Yeonjun looked even smaller in this state even though Yeonjun was so much taller than Chan. Cute, Chan thought, unable to hide his fond smile. 

However, what Yeonjun said next made Chan's heart skip a beat, especially when Yeonjun asked in such a low and husky tone, “Jagiya, may I have this dance?” Chan's face immediately turned red. A part of him wondered if he still remembered the choreography. Even so, Chan set the flowers aside and took Yeonjun's hand. When Chan's hand felt warm from the contact, Yeonjun led Chan to the centre of the rooftop. 

“I love you, baby

And if it's quite alright

I need you, baby

To warm the lonely night

I love you, baby

Trust in me when I say”

Chan did not need to think, for his body moved by itself when the chorus played. When Chan jumped up, Yeonjun immediately caught Chan with his arm under Chan's left leg, lifting Chan. It was a relief that Chan adjusted anti-slip ear hooks on his glasses, otherwise they would've fallen off immediately. Chan laughed as Yeonjun twirled with Chan in Yeonjun's arms, Yeonjun's touch spreading warmth that seeped through Chan's clothes. When Chan's feet touched the ground, the dance turned into a game of push and pull, where both would step closer, yearning for the other, only for them to step back out of fear. One moment, they were on the rooftop, and the next, Chan saw themselves back in their school's dance studio. Regardless of the distance between them, their arms were always joined together, their faces were always hot, and their gazes were filled with longing. 

At some point, Yeonjun ended their game of push and pull by pulling Chan close, both bodies stuck to each other. The music around them quieted down. All Chan could see was Yeonjun, Yeonjun's lips, Yeonjun's eyes. Once upon a time, Chan was afraid of the dark ocean. Now, as Chan dove deeper, Chan realised the beauty that lies below the sea. 

A hand under his chin made Chan gaze up into those eyes he was no longer afraid of. Chan also realised that Yeonjun had adjusted their position, pulling Chan closer by the waist. Chan continued to stare, diving deeper into the ocean, as their faces got closer and closer. When Chan could feel Yeonjun's breath, Chan's gaze flickered down to Yeonjun's heart-shaped lips, reminding Chan of his first kiss at the dorms. 

However, this round, Yeonjun whispered a simple “May I?” while tracing the bottom of Chan's lips with his thumb. This charged up something in Chan. It didn't help that Yeonjun's breath and the scent of fresh citrus and ambery cedar flooded Chan's senses. This caused Chan's knees to feel weak and for him to close his eyes. Not trusting his voice, Chan nodded in response. 

Immediately, Chan felt something soft against his lips. This time, Chan effortfully reciprocated the kiss while wrapping his arms around Yeonjun's neck, trying his best to follow Yeonjun's movements. In turn, Yeonjun pulled Chan impossibly closer. Their first sober kiss was gentle, it was soft, it was purely sweet, like the mint chocolate Chan could taste on Yeonjun's lips. Even when there was no spice in that kiss, Chan felt heat pool at the bottom of his stomach. If it weren't for Yeonjun holding him so closely and tightly, Chan's knees would've given in. 

Alas, one can only kiss for so long due to the lack of air. Eventually, they broke the kiss, panting as they looked into each other's eyes. Chan's face was heating up, but from his vision, Yeonjun looked just as affected as Chan was, looking equally flushed and even small, despite Yeonjun towering over Chan. As the both of them were catching their breath, Yeonjun looked at Chan with a soft smile filled with admiration and adoration. It made Chan feel loved, treasured, and adored. 

Yeonjun led Chan to the railings, leaning against the rails while looking at the scenery below. “I'm sorry,” Yeonjun spoke first, which prompted Chan to turn his head to Yeonjun in surprise. 

“If you meant the times you were mean to me, or the drunk kiss at night, I already forgave you.”

“I am still sorry about that, though.” Yeonjun looked guilty and moved closer to Chan, wrapping an arm around Chan's waist. “I'm sorry that... I wasn't there for you when you needed it the most. I-I had no idea that you left because...”

“It's fine.” Chan sighed, feeling the thin stitches around his wound beginning to tear open thread by thread. “Same with you being mean to me. It's all in the past, so...”

“Just because it's in the past doesn't mean it doesn't affect you.” Yeonjun's words threw a knife into Chan's wound. Chan turned his head to the front, trying to look as composed as possible. 

“You know, there’s only one thing I regret from going to that school, but it’s not you.” Chan's face fell when he heard the first part, but Yeonjun's assurance sent relief flooding Chan's heart. When Chan looked at Yeonjun after getting himself back together, Yeonjun continued, “The thing I regretted was not punching the head of the school before I left for Bighit.”

Chan gasped once he had processed Yeonjun's words. “You-you can't just say things like that! You're supposed to set an example for everyone!”

“He deserved that punch. Besides, sometimes you have to be a little mean in life. And if it's for you, then it's definitely worth it.” It's not, but the words were stuck in Chan's throat as he frowned, averting his gaze to the buildings below. 

“That's because the head is wrong, so dead wrong about you.” There was a firmness in Yeonjun's voice when he spoke. Yeonjun turned Chan around and placed a hand under Chan's chin, pulling Chan to look at him. “You are the best dancer I have ever met. I have met many dancers back in school and in the industry, but they all pale compared to you. I love how well you control your body, and how well you adapt to all different genres. You are nothing like an untalented dancer. I've seen how hard you work when teaching us, how hard you work through your choreography you posted online, and how hard you worked back in our school days too. Those who don't see your hard work and talent don't deserve you. Sometimes, I feel like I don't deserve you...”

Yeonjun, one of the biggest names in the industry, feels like he doesn't deserve some ordinary guy. Chan gasped in shock, the unfamiliar feeling of wetness in his eyes beginning to form. “Yeonjun—” Chan's voice cracked. 

“Let me finish,” Yeonjun interrupted and shushed Chan's lips. “Sometimes I feel like you're just so good, not just in what you do for a living, but everything about you. You may have a sharp tongue, but you still care for the people around you. You have a lot of patience, especially for me, although I wasn't the best person back then. You always extend both of your helping hands to the people around you, even me, despite being in an environment designed to bring each other down. Chan-ah, you keep saying that you aren't a star, but I have to fully disagree. When you danced in front of everyone in the school's audition all those years ago, you lit up a flame in my heart that continues to burn even till today. Chan, you may not be the brightest star in the universe, but to me, you shine the brightest.”

Chan's vision in front of him blurred. However, it was quickly cleared when he felt fingers gently wiping the bottom of his eyes. Chan was greeted by Yeonjun looking at him worriedly. After Chan fully processed the words Yeonjun had said, gazed at Yeonjun's expression, and felt Yeonjun's soft embrace, Chan broke. 

Chan took off his glasses and cried, his cries muffled by Yeonjun's shirt in front of him. Yeonjun hugged Chan tightly, one around Chan's waist and another on Chan's head, gently rocking Chan's while whispering “It's okay” into Chan's ear. As the dam of Chan's tears broke, Chan felt the wound inside him slowly heal. 

Eventually, Chan's sobs had turned into sniffles. The wound inside him no longer hurt, but time would make it fully recover. When Chan looked up, he was greeted by Yeonjun's same worried expression, as Yeonjun asked softly, “Are you feeling better now?”

Chan nodded and put on his glasses. “Thanks. I really needed that.” 

Yeonjun smiled in relief and pulled away from Chan. This time, he was standing right in front of Chan. A serious gaze flared in Yeonjun's eyes, but he looked less intimidating when Yeonjun looked small once again. Chan laughed, pulling his jacket closer to his body while being greeted by Yeonjun's pout. 

“I wasn't done yet, though.” Chan's laughter quickly died down when he heard Yeonjun's words. With Chan's encouraging gaze, Yeonjun took a deep breath and asked while averting his gaze, “Chan, would you let me call you mine?” 

Hearing the question, Chan felt giddy and his body became lighter, relief washing over Chan like a pleasant shower. Noticing how Yeonjun curled in on himself like a hedgehog, Chan suppressed his fond laughter. Letting his feelings take control, Chan stepped closer and pulled Yeonjun down by the shirt, planting a kiss on Yeonjun's lips. 

As Chan pulled away, he noticed the two waterfalls flowing from Yeonjun's eyes. Chan's vision blurred too, but a blink was all it took for Chan's vision to clear, despite having to repeat this process several times. Chan's fingers reached for Yeonjun's eyes, going beneath the glasses' lens and wiping Yeonjun's tears. Yeonjun copied Chan's movements, which made Chan realise that his expression must've mirrored Yeonjun's. 

“In the past, present, and future, I'll love you forever...” Yeonjun whispered with a fond smile before reconnecting their lips again. The waterfalls from Chan's eyes flew down once more, but Yeonjun's slender fingers quickly stopped the flow. What started as a mere press of the lips turned to Yeonjun leaving kitten licks on Chan's lips. This was too much! Heat rushed to Chan's face, and Chan used all his willpower to pull away from the kiss, panting. Yeonjun pulled out the familiar pleading gaze with a pout on his face, but Chan turned away from Yeonjun the second Yeonjun's expression changed to that. “Nope, nope, nope!” Chan protested, covering his red face with both hands as he rushed towards the railing. “Have some decency, Yeonjun! We're still in public!”

“Public? So you wouldn't mind doing this in private, hm?” Chan could hear the coy smile in Yeonjun's voice. 

“I-I-!” Chan's voice got stuck in his throat, stammering through his words. Despite his surroundings being cold, Chan's face was burning hot. This was going to be the death of him. However, hearing Yeonjun's fond laughter, Chan felt this wasn't too bad. 

“Also... Yeonjun? Really? That's quite a distant way to call your lover, isn't it?”

Yeonjun's smirk that could be heard made Chan's ears burn. “Well, what do you want me to call you then?” 

“Jagi would be nice.”

“Aren't you already calling me jagi?”

“Just because I've called you jagi doesn't mean you can't call me jagi too~ Besides,” Chan felt fabric draped over his shoulders as Yeonjun spoke, “I don't want to mix you up with my other jagi friends. I'm going to call you baby from now on~”

Aren't you the bigger baby here? Chan groaned at the nickname that was given. However, the fond smile on Chan's face was the green light for Yeonjun to do so. This was when Chan smelled the familiar scent of fresh citrus and ambery cedar that was stronger, noticing Yeonjun's grey coat on him. Alarmed, Chan turned to look at Yeonjun, who only wore a black sweater. 

“Yah! You're going to get cold like this!” Chan scolded as he began to take off Yeonjun's jacket. 

“No, no, no, no, no,” Yeonjun responded in alarm, waving both of his hands. “That was for you—”

“You don't have to sacrifice your health to do these things for me! Really!”

“That was your parting gift!”

Chan stilled upon hearing that, holding Yeonjun's jacket on his right arm. “You... You knew?”

“Yeah, PD-nim told me about it.” Chan would not be surprised if Woozi relayed the message to the idols. 

Chan placed Yeonjun's coat on the railing and took off his jacket. The autumn wind was urging Chan to carry out this task quickly. Once Chan's jacket was off, Chan quickly put on Yeonjun's coat and handed Yeonjun Chan's jacket. “Here, my farewell gift to you.”

Yeonjun looked displeased at Chan, taking the jacket and putting it on. “You're the one who told me not to sacrifice your health yet here you are, doing the exact same thing.”

“Well, unlike a certain someone,” Chan eyed Yeonjun displeasingly at the mention of said certain someone, then continued, “I don't catch a cold that easily.”

Yeonjun's sigh was a sign that Chan had won this round. It was a relief for Chan that Chan's jacket fit Yeonjun perfectly. “Thanks, baby.” Chan's ears burned at the nickname, realising that Yeonjun's jacket made Chan look much smaller. 

The mention of parting gifts and farewell gifts became a reality check for Chan, causing Chan to look shockingly at Yeonjun, who was picking up the bouquet. “Wait, if you already knew that I was going to leave tomorrow, then what about us?”

Yeonjun laughed and stepped closer to Chan, tucking the bouquet into Chan's arms with gentleness. Both made eye contact, and that's when Yeonjun asked, “Do you believe in long-distance relationships?”

With the love, conviction, and determination held in Yeonjun's gaze, Chan nodded without hesitation. 

Yeonjun smiled fondly with a soft gaze and connected their foreheads. “Then that's enough for me. A text from you is better than eight years of radio silence.”

Chan felt his heart swell and tried not to tear up when he heard that. 

************

“And that's how Beomgyu ended up in the pool!”

Chan laughed upon hearing Yeonjun's story. “Poor dude.”

“Nah man, he totally deserved it.”

“Still,” Chan's contagious laughter echoed through the room, which caused Yeonjun to laugh on the other line of the phone.

“Enough about me. What about you, baby? What have you been up to these days?”

“Hm... There is not much, just the usual recordings and weekly uploads, which have been well received, surprisingly. I really wasn't expecting that.”

“The one where you guys reviewed our Blue Hour choreo?”

“Yeah, that one. I'm surprised that it has more positive feedback considering that we're charting into territory like this, and we all know how fans can react sometimes.”

“To be fair, you guys made some good pointers and valid criticisms.”

“You sounded like you've watched it already.”

“Of course I watched it. There's no way I'd miss a single video from my baby~ And as usual, you're amazing, you're always amazing in my eyes~” Yeonjun's voice was laced with fondness as he spoke. 

This brat was Chan's current impression of Yeonjun. However, Chan felt giddy and warm upon hearing those words. Despite Yeonjun's busy schedule, he'd willingly watch a video about some so-called professionals critiquing their dancing skills for at least 10 minutes when Yeonjun could be using that time to do something else.

“Hm? You've gotten quiet all of a sudden, baby.” Yeonjun's voice dropped to a soft, tender whisper as he asked, “Did I perhaps make your heart flutter?”

Heat immediately rushed to Chan's face, his unoccupied hand on his racing heart. “Now that's just going too far,” He whined. 

“So I'll take that as a yes then? I'm proud of myself.” Yeonjun still spoke in a whisper. 

God damn it. Chan clutched the familiar jacket around him close to his chest. Now Chan missed Yeonjun. It had been weeks since Yeonjun last visited his and Soonyoung's shared apartment. Chan couldn't blame Yeonjun, for Yeonjun was swarmed by schedules these few weeks. Chan already knew that this was what dating an idol had to entail, with the secrecy of dating and their busy lives. Despite not voicing it out loud, Chan was appreciative of the fact that they'd still find time to call every day, or even if they were too tired to phone each other, they'd never forget to text "Good night" and "I love you" to each other. It is what it is, and Chan was aware that they would not partake in physical intimacy that often. Chan had long accepted that fact, but there were times when he would miss these physical moments.

A ring from the doorbell snapped Chan out of his thoughts. Did he zone out? Shit, what did Yeonjun say earlier? Don't worry, he'll explain himself later. “Um... Sorry to interrupt but someone's at the door, I'll go take a look real quick.” With that, Chan grabbed his phone and rushed to the door. 

The strange thing was that Yeonjun was quiet on the other line. “Jagiya?” He called out through the phone next to his ear as he opened the door. He put down the phone, not ending the call as he looked up at the visitor.

Chan nearly dropped his phone. Choi Yeonjun stood over 180 cm in height, had a phone in his right ear, was dressed in fashionable clothing, and practically glowing in Chan's eyes. 

Yeonjun, on the other hand, was looking at Chan with a fond smile and a gaze that held Chan like he was the brightest star. “As expected, my clothes fit perfectly on you,” Yeonjun whispered fondly as he ended the call. 

Chan's face flushed red with the same fondness on his smile, feeling shocked, warmth, and giddiness. They stared at each other for a long time, before Yeonjun broke the gaze by entering the house and closing the door behind them. Chan took a few steps back to give Yeonjun a little space, but once Yeonjun's shoes were off, Chan was dragged back into Yeonjun's personal space. The last thought Chan had was that Yeonjun smelt like fresh citrus and ambery cedar today, before being greeted by Yeonjun's lips on his.

As soon as Chan received skin contact, he practically fell limp, saved by the arms holding him in place. Every touch felt like tingling electricity, and Yeonjun's lips felt soft but sweet and hot as usual. Heat pooled in Chan's stomach the longer the kiss went on.

Eventually, because they couldn't hold in their breaths for too long, they pulled away, panting as they stared at each other with love in their eyes. Chan realised they were on the floor, with Yeonjun in front of him, connecting their foreheads as he whispered, “I miss you.”

Chan's hands went to hold Yeonjun's as he replied in a whisper, “I miss you too.”

Yeonjun connected their lips again, pulling Chan close to the point where Chan could feel the floor on his back. Yeonjun caged Chan with his arms as they kissed. Chan returned the favour by wrapping his arms around Yeonjun's back. Hot, yet giddy, was all Chan felt. Yeonjun bit Chan's lip, causing Chan to gasp. This allowed Yeonjun to slide his tongue in. As soon as Yeonjun's tongue was in Chan's mouth, Chan felt like he was floating. Yeonjun took this opportunity to explore Chan's mouth, even toying with his tongue. 

When Chan let out a noise, that was when the door beeped and opened. Chan and Yeonjun jumped, freezing on the spot. An audible gasp could be heard, followed by footsteps and the door slamming. 

“Oh-oh, my goodness!” Hearing Soonyoung shout in English, Chan immediately pulled away from Yeonjun, face red and embarrassed as he looked at Soonyoung. Yeonjun looked no different, but he was so much more red and embarrassed than Chan as he hid his face in Chan's shoulder. 

“You—You—You—You guys were making out on the floor?! Right in front of the door?! How scandalous!” Soonyoung scolded both of them like a parent. Yeonjun was holding onto Chan like a shield as if Chan could shield him away from the embarrassment. 

Chan gently patted Yeonjun's head while glaring at Soonyoung, despite Chan's lips being swollen. “Well, you were intruding on our private matters!”

“Private matters or not, this is still my house, Channie! And you guys better get up from that floor! My boyfriend's like... Coming over right now.”

Chan and Yeonjun stood up, but Yeonjun still hid his face and held onto Chan like a lifeline. Chan gently patted Yeonjun's head, but his expression was taken aback upon hearing the word ‘boyfriend’. “Since when did you get a boyfriend?!”

“Since now.” As soon as Soonyoung said that, the door beeped and opened. This was when Yeonjun looked up but tightened his hold around Chan. When a short but familiar man stepped into the house, Chan audibly gasped while Yeonjun choked on his saliva upon seeing the new guest.

“P-PD-nim?!”