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A chill sent a shiver through Henri's body, stirring the raven-haired male from his sleep. The smell of the sea breeze billowing in from the open window reminded him that he wasn't at home - he was in the hotel room he had booked with June during their excursion outside of the center.
Despite his drowsiness, one thought entered his mind: 'I better close that window before June catches a cold…'
Henri shifted to reach for his glasses from the nightstand and put them on, only for his heart to momentarily stop when he looked over at the bed beside him and noticed the very apparent absence of June.
It took all of two seconds for the previously half-asleep doctor to jolt out of bed, moving aside the strewn-about sheets in the other before darting his eyes around the dimly lit room.
The only sign of June being there was his phone, which was still charging on the nightstand with a charger that Henri had bought after the other expressed concern over his lover getting worried if his phone lost battery overnight.
While the moonlight filtering in through the open window appeared serene, the atmosphere in the room was anything but.
Henri hurried over to the bathroom, turning the light on. However, he was greeted by empty space.
"June?" He questioned before cautiously reaching his hand out to the drawn shower curtain, "I'm just checking if you're alright…" he warned before pulling the curtain to the side. Unfortunately, all it revealed was the clothes they had hung up to dry after their fun time in the ocean.
Fun was the last thing on Henri's mind now. With nervous thoughts swirling through his head, the ravenette hurried over to the balcony window. He hoped the other hadn't thought it was a good idea to try climbing buildings on his own or that someone hadn't managed to abduct him out from under his nose. However, that anxiety soon quelled when he noticed a familiar figure standing out on the attached balcony.
Holding back a sigh, Henri opened the balcony door. "You're going to catch a cold out there, June…" the young doctor chided the blond from where he stood.
June glanced back at him for a moment before looking back out at the ocean view. "The air feels nice, though…"
A sigh did escape Henri this time as he reached for a blanket before joining the other male out on the balcony. Once behind him, he draped the blanket over the blond's shoulders. "This is the only way I'm allowing you to stay out here."
That comment earned an incredulous look back from the other. "...You aren't going to make me go back inside?" June asked, moving a hand up to hold the blanket more securely against himself as if he didn't want to admit that he actually was feeling a bit chilly.
"If the ocean is your equivalent to my time up on the roof, I understand," Henri replied as he stood beside the blond on the balcony. "One cough and you are going back to bed, though." He added his typical nag, which prompted a soft laugh from the other.
Silence fell between the two after that, the waves out on the water adding a sense of tranquility to the moment. Henri watched the waves recede from the shore before shifting his attention up to the nearly full moon above the water.
This adventure had not only been an escape for June but one for Henri, as well. If he hadn't accepted the other's request for this little overnight trip, he no doubt would have been back home gazing at the same moon from his parent's rooftop. It felt a lot nicer having someone beside him when doing so, though.
"Is the bed here not comfortable enough for you?" Henri eventually spoke, breaking the silence between them.
June shook his head. "It's similar to the center. I just…" the blond started answering before hesitating, "...I want to enjoy this while it lasts."
Henri brought his attention back over to June, noting the melancholy expression on his face. It seemed the thought of leaving in the morning was what made it difficult for June to sleep. A small part of Henri was relieved it wasn't because he felt uncomfortable around him.
Henri hated to admit it, but he felt the same way. This excursion had been a breath of fresh air for him – one that allowed him the rare chance to escape his mother's incessant pestering. Yes, he had given her an excuse that this was a trip to inspire June to prepare him for his debut, but it had worked. He had no intention of actually convincing June to do such a thing, anyway. It would be better if he avoided a public debut completely. However, Henri knew that the only way he could appease his mother was by pretending to go along with her and Carolyn's scheme.
"Henri…"
June's voice startled the ravenette from his thoughts, looking over at the other while masking his surprise well.
"...Yes?"
June rested his elbows on the balcony railing for support as he continued watching the waves on the distant shore, holding the blanket closer to himself. At that moment, Henri couldn't help wishing that it wouldn't be too obvious for him to snap a photo.
"...Thank you. For doing this."
The warmth Henri felt in his face easily combated the chill of the ocean air upon hearing June's words of gratitude. The fluttering sensation in his chest was the very same he had felt the first time June thanked him for installing the sink in his room at the center.
…It was a shame he couldn't act on such a desire to hear more praise from someone who merely considered him his doctor and friend.
"How long have you been out here exactly? Getting so sentimental, all of a sudden…" Henri decided to tease June with his response - a safer bet than acknowledging the praise he internally desired.
"Yeah, don't get used to it…" June retorted, his combative attitude also being something Henri found amusing and attractive. Even if he had been wearing a mask when he first met June, he couldn't help falling for him more with every defensive reaction he received.
A soft chuckle escaped Henri, though internally he wished for something far different…If things were in his favor, he would wrap an arm around June's waist and pull him in close, proposing a compromise on how to spend more time outside - keeping close would allow them to share warmth, after all. He might even suggest a moonlit walk on the sand, with those conditions in place…however, if there was even the slightest chance that June might be interested in guys, he was already dating someone else.
Henri felt a sting of jealousy pierce his heart as he glanced over at the blond standing beside him. From what he understood, June had only met his lover recently. Not only that, but it was a long-distance relationship. Even so, it was clear to see that June was head over heels in love.
…Lucky them.
Henri couldn't help thinking how different things might have been if June had only been admitted to the center a few weeks earlier. If he had a chance to meet a version of June who hadn't already set his eyes on someone, then maybe…
…
That exact thought had kept Henri up a few nights this week, not that he would ever admit it. Either way, there was no changing the way things were now.
"Henri? Are you okay?"
The raven-haired male had gotten caught up in his thoughts again, realizing he had been staring at June with a ruminative expression on his face.
"...Yes, just tired. It is 2:30 in the morning, after all," Henri replied, always quick to conjure a reasonable excuse.
"Is it that late already?" June replied, earning a perturbed look from the young doctor.
"How long have you been out here in just a robe??" Henri asked, much more seriously this time.
"I'm just joking around," the blond replied, only to turn to face the other as he continued leaning against the balcony railing. "You're one to talk though, with those eye bags of yours. Do you usually have trouble sleeping?"
Henri simply shrugged. "It depends. My hours change at the center, so it's difficult to keep a consistent schedule."
"Even then, you told me you're only a contract worker, so you don't work full-time, right?" June questioned, making Henri look out at the water.
"Not at the moment. It still keeps me busy, though. Especially since you became my patient," Henri pointed out. "I am technically on the clock as we speak."
"So you're blaming me? Is that it?"
"Yes. How does it feel to be the reason for my sleepless nights?" Henri questioned, his playful smirk playing this off as a joke when it was closer to the truth than June would ever expect.
Instead of the other getting all huffy though, the blond paused before looking down. "...It wouldn't be the first time I burdened someone like that."
It seemed that Henri's penchant for counseling had unintentionally reared its head. Without even trying, he managed to nudge open the door to June's psyche - an opportunity to glance into his past and the emotions that shaped June into the person he was today.
A part of Henri wanted to gently push the rest of that door open to take a peek inside and see if there was anything June hadn't yet shared with him. As Henri had said, he was still on the clock. It was the perfect opportunity to learn more about the blond male - to do what his mother wanted, prying out information about his childhood in an effort to mold him into a rising artist. Pain could be an incredible muse, after all. And yet…
"You're not a burden to me, June. In fact, you are the opposite."
The words escaped him before Henri had time to think them over. Late-night sentimentality might be getting to him, as well. However, June just let out a soft, almost forced, laugh.
"Yeah…if you manage to cure me, you'll probably win the Nobel prize…" he replied, shifting the blanket's position over his shoulders. "You could do anything you want with something like that on your resume…my life would be worth something, then."
Henri was planning to reassure June that his words had nothing to do with why he was taking care of him - but his final comment struck a chord within him in a terrifying way.
Had Henri's words triggered this self-degrading mentality in June? Or was it the time of night? June's positivity was something Henri always admired, and so discovering this darker side of him set off red flags immediately. Before he knew it, Henri had placed both hands on the other's shoulders, turning the blond male to face him so that he could look him directly in the eyes.
"Your life is worth so much already, June…" Henri spoke with conviction, his grip on the other's shoulders firm, but not quite enough to hurt him.
June gazed back at him, his gray-green hues dull. They lacked any semblance of the liveliness he had seen during their day together, which concerned him - especially since June didn't seem to believe his words.
At this point, Henri didn't care about Carolyn's request or even the fact that he was June's doctor. He needed to reach the other, to pull him out of the pit of quicksand he seemed to be slipping into before his very eyes.
"You're an incredible person. Someone who has endured more than most from a very young age. Despite that, the person you have become…" he trailed off, his grip tightening on the other's shoulders slightly, "and the strength you show whenever your illness flares up or you're faced with incredible strength…that deserves recognition - not only from others but yourself."
June held Henri's earnest gaze for a moment, as if processing his words, before looking back out at the water.
The raven-haired male kept his eyes on the other, observing his melancholic expression. He didn't want to say more, just in case that might trigger a stressful episode.
After what felt like five minutes, but was only one, June leaned back from the other's hands to turn back towards the room. "We should get back to sleep…" he murmured.
Henri held out a hand, wanting to stop the other to make sure he was okay. In a perfect world, he would pull June into a hug and share so much more - anything to reassure June that his existence held meaning…because it did, to Henri. However, it wasn't his place to say any of that.
Not when June loved someone else.
The chilly air from the ocean pricked the back of his neck, like frigid needles piercing his skin with a numbing reminder that, once again, what he yearned for was out of reach and unattainable.
Henri's hand slowly dropped to his side with that heartbreaking thought in mind, following June back into their hotel room. As he closed and locked the balcony door and window, it felt as if he was doing the same to the feelings that had developed in his heart.
He could only hope that June would feel better in the morning, otherwise this entire trip may have been a mistake - a painful reminder that Henri should never act based on his own emotional needs.
It always led to another sleepless night.