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He has a problem. He has a hell of a problem with expressing his feelings and it's incredibly hard to hide it. It's also hard to hide it from a society that wants to pry into your private life and criticise your every move.
"A bloke's got to!" "You have to do things differently!" and other nonsense like that he heard every day.
He'll never understand people who think you're selfish - because you don't give a girl flowers, if you're not a tactile person and just don't like kissing, if it's hard for you to express your feelings directly instead of looking for a thousand and one ways around it. If you're not like them.
He can't understand hating people who live the way they want to live, not the stereotypes they shout about on every corner.
It's just more comfortable for them to be together without talking about feelings, because that's the way who "needs" it? Einstein never said a word about being unhappy with the relationship.
If it came to words of love, he looked for an alternative every time, it was hard for him to say it directly like that. It had been a long time ago and he was well aware of it, but he didn't know what it had to do with.
* "如果我是月亮，你会是我的太阳吗?"
- Yes, of course I would be
* "Zvaigznes šodien ir tikpat skaistas kā jūs, es nekad neaizmirsīšu šo dienu, paldies jums."
- I'll never forget that day, either.
And it went on for quite a long time and would have gone on even longer, if it weren't for one thing.. Welt Joyce had been dead for two years.
He killed himself not long before he was going to give Ein something very important to both of them. Now he'll never do it. He left it all on the nightstand by the front door, along with a note. He left everything at home, took absolutely nothing with him.
.....
She'll never forget that terrible day.
It was starting to pour heavily outside when Lieserl was walking back in, trying to call Welt to say that she would like to go to the shop together, but her calls were never answered, all messages were not even delivered to the contact....
The connection seemed to be good enough, so there shouldn't have been a problem.
She wanted to go home anyway, to put on a slightly warmer jacket than she was wearing now.
The door was unlocked, which was odd, but she didn't notice it. But a neatly folded piece of paper and a small box next to it caught my eye...
"Ein. "I'm sorry you're reading this, it means I failed, it's probably too late. I'm sorry you're reading this now, but I'm really tired of all this, it's really hard to live in our society, even though I knew it from the beginning. You've been my only salvation all this time and I don't know how to thank you for that. What's in the box. Well, you know that, don't you? Not too long ago, you made
joked that we could use one of these, didn't you? * "I love you, Lieserl Albert Einstein." Tears began to fall one by one onto the sheet of paper, blurring the letters carefully written in black gel pen hours ago. Of all the English text, the phrase "Я люблю тебя, Лизерль Альберт Эйнштейн" written in Russian, stood out too much to ignore. In the box was a pair of rings, yes she remembered how during their walk she'd joked about how they'd go for some stupid pair of rings, just for fun, out of nothing, he'd thought about it seriously and bought them....
Just what would she need them for now...
....
Einstein always wore that ring, the other one left on Welt's grave, telling herself it was for the best.
.....
She remembered the newscast that said he was dead, she had watched it the last time she saw his body in the morgue.
The only thing she wanted to hear once again as she sat at his grave was: "如果我是月亮，你会是我的太阳吗?" Or any other stupid phrase he used to say to her when he said he loved her....