Chapter Text
Though Murdoc could hide it, hide his glances and small smiles, it ate him from the inside….It was hard to say why he felt like this towards him…Yes, Murdoc knew he was bisexual, he had a couple boyfriend's before, brought home many men at points in his life…that wasn't the..confusing part, it was the fact that when he looked at him…he didn't feel any kind of normal…lust, like he knew…all to well. He had never wanted to be with someone, and hear about their day, so bad. To top off this disaster, it wasn't some damn stranger, it was the drummer of his own fucking band...Russell fucking Hobbs.
He hated the fact he had this stupid crush on the man...he hated that he found himself flustered like a small child whenever Russell addressed him directly, and he struggled to form words...atleast...with his normal alcohol intake, the band just assumed he was tipsy and never questioned the breaks of silence when asked a question by Russell, good for Murdoc, he supposed. He found himself trying in his appearance before band practice, he would style his normally, super messy hair just a bit, dress a bit nicer, and actually bought cologne...all for this drummer that he barely talked to!! It was infuriating, really...he hated it. Murdoc hated having feelings for someone, it made him feel...soft.
And Murdoc Niccals, was anything BUT soft.