Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Irving. You’ve gotta tell her.”

A summer evening. Two friends on the floor of a bedroom. College left them exhausted: they flopped to the hardwood floor half an hour ago and hadn’t moved yet, twin angels with burnout wings.

Their third was missing. 

The young man being addressed groaned in acknowledgement but only threw an arm over his face, so, despite her own exhaustion, his companion kept going insistently. “I’m telling you, it’s been so long, it’s getting ridiculous. We can’t keep this from her anymore. We shouldn’t!”

“I know, Lani.” He finally deigned to give a verbal reply, though muffled it was by his arm. 

“You said you’d tell her during the summer.” The short lady tutted at the ceiling, too tired to sit up and direct the gesture his way.

 “I know,” he grumbled.

“We started classes again last week. ”

“I know!” Irving’s emotions finally began to show through the exhaustion: annoyance, yes, but also guilt, too much guilt for his frustration not to drip down his brow. “I know, okay. I feel awful about hiding it, but every time I want to tell her, I can’t help thinking…” 

He trailed off, but Lani didn’t ask him to pick up his thoughts. Lani knew exactly what he was going to say. They both loved her too much to want to risk losing her. She understood, she knew the fear intimately, but she couldn’t stand by it. Not anymore…

The summer heat hadn’t yet bothered to relent. The afternoon sun banged on their windows, merciless in its assault; it laced lead to every movement, every thought, every spoken word.

“You’re engaged , Irving. She’s going to find out you’re gay sooner rather than later.”

There was a shiny new ring on his finger. Compared to this inconspicuous little piece of jewelry, the weight of the sun suddenly felt light. There was joy, yes, so much joy, but the lies in which they had managed to embroider themselves tightened like a noose by the day. 

But what choice did they have? What if she rejected the truth? Even as a pastor’s daughter, Lani wasn’t quite comfortable with how much their mutual friend clung to religion. As Lani grew up, she slowly detached herself from it, but her friend clutched faith tight against her chest, and trying to pry her away might just break them all apart. With all that she was going through, what right did they have to shake her in the beliefs she held onto for stability?

They both loved her too much to want to risk losing her.

“You haven’t told her you’re a lesbian, either,” Irving hissed between his teeth. He wasn’t the only one keeping secrets. Lani had always been way more athletic than him, but he threw the verbal ball back at her and hit her square in the face. 

A leaden beat.

“I’m not dating anyone!” Lani spluttered in weak defense of herself. “It just hasn’t come up…”

Now the two friends were both boiling with guilt in their sweat-soaked shirts.

They’d all been part of clubs in high school. Though she only kept up with kickboxing and rock-climbing in the end, Irving was pretty sure Lani had tried all of the sports clubs at some point. By contrast and to his father’s chagrin, he had rather liked to stay put; he joined the art and cooking clubs.

Phaedra had fit right in the middle. She was a dedicated fencer for years and years, halfway between Lani’s enthusiasm for physical activity and Irving’s cultured tastes. Yes, she always fit right in the middle, she was their best friend, and they missed her so terribly.

They grew up together in all the ways that mattered, so why wasn’t she there with them now?

In perfect sync, the two friends sighed. 

Lani first met their Phae in church, when they were children. The famous Philemon family came by every week and their mothers were friends, so they grew close long before Irving came into their lives— and among the church kids Lani had known, Phaedra was the one most fascinated with the church. As little kids, while the others snuck off to play, they had been happy to huddle into each other’s sides, crack open a Bible and lean over it together. At eight years old, breathing the same air and turning wafer-thin pages was more than enough to become friends. 

Perhaps Lani had been a little in love then, too young to realize that she was enamored by a girl who smiled bright like the sun. Even though she was long over that crush, Lani still felt small in its face. The sun didn’t want to hurt anyone, but, much like an ant under the eyeglass of a scalding summer day, Lani’s lies felt like they burnt her skin and gave her a headache. Her Phae had been and still was pious, steadfast and kind, she’d never really changed. Lani was the one who hid her true feelings— she wondered whether they were doomed to grow apart from the start… and the possibility terrified her.

“She and Silas broke up almost a year ago,” Lani pointed out, eager to kick the topic back into the shine of a more positive light. “She’s got to be over him by now. That angle at least won’t make her feel worse.” 

Neither of them wanted to talk about Silas, but they couldn’t keep using the asshole as an excuse.

“I don’t know about that…” Irving groaned.

Phaedra had become more distant while dating him, less patient, more volatile… but once it was over, she was left even worse off. 

Oh, Irving and Lani tried to pick up the pieces, but the picture they put together wasn’t anything pretty. The tabloids had a field day, harassing their best friend for details at every turn, and all the while, Phaedra seemed to collapse on herself, heart too tender to touch. Like a wounded animal she kept even her best friends at an arm’s length for weeks and weeks, because their Phae was someone who loved fiercely, and she always threw herself whole into things. Silas hadn’t been a good influence, but she’d certainly been loyal, and terribly attached.

Between the realization that her boyfriend was a scumbag and the media harassment on the matter, Irving and Lani knew Phaedra needed time and space to center herself again. So bringing up the delicate matter of Irving’s thriving relationship had seemed like a bad move.

“We should’ve told her from the start ,” Irving said. Perhaps he was right. Lani was aware that her own cowardice was partly to blame for the secrecy. Phaedra was sheltered, but she was also her childhood friend. If she had been honest from the start, then perhaps meeting Irving’s boyfriend wouldn’t have been a big deal at all. The young Phaedra in her memories was a happy girl who would have embraced her without a second thought.

But… Lani never said anything anyway. She was young when she realized she was gay, and she panicked, swearing off her best friend, smothering any attraction so that their friendship could stay the same. If Lani denied anything was wrong, then nothing was wrong. It didn’t have to matter at all. Phaedra couldn’t even imagine a girl liking another girl at that age, thought nothing of holding her hand…

But she couldn’t deny reality forever. Saying nothing had been a lie, Phaedra would understand she had been lied to all this time. Now that Irving was engaged , it was far too late to be brave and broach the subject casually. No amount of positivity was going to erase the elephant in the room and bridge their relationship so easily… besides…

If breaking up with Silas had wrecked their precious Phae, losing her father the following December seemed to utterly destroy her. They knew from the start that it would be bad, they went to both of the funerals— the private one, for friends and family, and the public one that was televised— but eight months later, she still hadn’t…

Irving and Lani tried to be there for her, after. They brought her home-cooked meals since she’d started living alone for college, but she soon stopped answering the door. They sat her between them in the few classes they shared, but then she stopped coming to college at all. She didn’t answer calls or texts anymore. She was avoiding everyone, to the point that picking up a celebrity magazine was the more reliable way to see her face.

If her reluctance to answer the door could perhaps be explained by paparazzi, Phaedra’s absence from school alarmed them deeply. After a few days of frantic searching, they found out that Phaedra often wandered to the local church, seeking solace and quiet between stone walls— at least no one harassed her there. Of course, they joined her to keep her company. She protested, citing attendance records, but they knew that she needed them. They stayed… but then they grew alarmed again, as they listened to the vitriolic sermons Phaedra seemed to absorb like a sponge, and their best friend blew up at their attempts to try and coax her someplace else.

That day, Irving and Lani sat down on the church’s stairs to wait, and when Phaedra never walked back out through that door, they realized a deep chasm had cracked between them. One by one, their efforts seemed to backfire, pushing their Phae further and further away…

Then, they were all overwhelmed by finals, their second semester hardly more than a blur of chasing and studying, one fruitless, the other a necessity. 

So when they finally found themselves on summer vacation and Phaedra was still struggling, still angry, shying away from their presence… They thought that she needed more time. They gave her space, hoping that she would come back on her own. June, July ticked by with nary a strand of blond hair; by August they were knocking at the door of the apartment she’d been renting, only to find out that she’d gone back to live at home without a word.

They fucked up.

The three of them all went to the same prestigious college, but even though classes started up again a week ago, Phaedra hadn’t come back or shown up at all, and she still refused to answer their calls.

And now that Irving was engaged…

Irving summed up the situation as it was, mincing none of his words. “Even if she’s over Silas, she’s not over her dad. At all. She’s still so upset, Lani. Even on a good day, she’ll take me hiding this from her like another betrayal, and it’s going to destroy her all over again.”

“She loves us,” Lani softly said. “She’ll understand it was awkward to tell her.” 

“Yeah, and she’ll feel guilty about it, if she doesn’t freak out about the gay thing first.”

Lani winced. Unfortunately that sounded a little too much in character for her to dismiss.

The two friends groaned in unison again, from the scalding, sweat-soaked grave they dug themselves into. 

Chapter Text

“Oh! Phaedra, you washed your hair.”

The bedroom was dark with the blinds shut, but with the door open by one’s mother, letting some sun in, the golden locks shone obviously.

The curled up girl sighed against her propped up knee. “Yeah…”

“That’s good. Your hair is so much prettier when it’s clean, right?” Daphne slowly reached out and touched her daughter’s soft curls, gentle, like she might startle her by moving too quickly.

“Mhm.”

Phaedra’s eyes locked back onto her computer screen. Her laptop was balanced on her thigh so that she could stay huddled in the nest of her stuffed animals.

“Don’t you think we should open the blinds?”

“If you want.”

“I’ll air out your room while we’re at it.”

Phaedra grabbed her blanket from where it had been carelessly thrown to the floor, and wrapped herself in it. “Okay.”

Daphne’s smile never reached her eyes, these days, but she still hummed when she reached for the window on her tiptoes. “It’s almost noon, you won’t be cold. We’re still in August.” 

This time, her daughter gave no reply. Her attention didn’t stray from her laptop screen, so absorbed that she might not even have heard. Daphne’s smile fell while she was faced away. She had managed to bring her Phae home, but it didn’t even help , did it? 

Daphne couldn’t bear losing her on top of everyone else.

“Get dressed, alright? You should leave the house while the sky is clear. In a couple months it won’t be so nice out.”

No reply.

“I’ll bring you lunch soon.”

“…thanks.”

Phaedra flinched when the door slammed closed, but her mother couldn’t see. 

After a moment, she settled back into her bones. Her room being lit so suddenly made her eyes sting, but she’d been awake for a while now, long enough not to mind it too much. 

Back to the laptop. Her fingers tapped the keys with the speed of habit but the clumsiness of someone who wasn’t quite used to typing without looking at her fingers yet. All her focus was taken by the message she was replying to with narrowed eyes.

“I know who you are,” she mumbled under her breath. The username was unknown to her, but she could recognize its author by the typing style… and the provocative content. “Don’t think I’ll fall for it. This is just another of your sockpuppets.”

Contrary to popular belief, fencing and church were not necessarily the only things that Phaedra Philemon wholeheartedly threw herself into. There was a cross above her bed and trophies on her shelves… and then there were posters hidden on the walls inside her closet. Yes, she also delved in shallower waters.

When she didn’t want to deal with reality, when she didn’t want to talk to anyone, Phaedra indulged in an ankle-deep secret. An online hobby that didn’t demand of her to confront the outside world: fighting about her favorite book series on the internet.

Perhaps it was just more running away, but when every day felt like sinking in a mire, whatever floating garbage one could cling to was worth it. Right?

The crucifix in the corner of her eye watched her screen, ever-present.

As far as even her closest friends knew, Phaedra barely went on the web at all, and only had a passing interest in the books. That had almost been true up until a couple years ago, so it wasn’t lying… just something she didn’t talk about… but the cross above her bed saw every shameful little lie, every self-indulgence.

Phaedra knew it was stupid. She thought that she must be weak-willed… thoughts of piety rarely stayed her hand in the end. Her eyes always wandered back to the screen, and she always found a new post to spark some righteous anger in her drowning soul. 

No yelling online felt like it had any substance, just what she needed to vent off her grief. There were always more terrible, terrible takes to criticize acidly, and if the argument went nowhere, they could always just block each other. Phaedra found solace in sinking her fingers into petty conflict… like ripping clay.

No one’s gaze would follow her with pity nor greed, no one knew her as that girl who was crying at her father’s funeral on national TV. No one could link her username with that horrible spray of red. Every fight was shallow, without consequences.

So, just barely, Phaedra kept her head above the horizon line.

Unfortunately, her frequent clashes with the series’ most vocal critics eventually caught the attention of a peculiar troll, which was what she was dealing with now, caught up between her four narrow walls.

Whoever they were, they really, really hated her favorite character. How could you dislike such an angel? All she wanted to do was help people! That alone would have summoned Phaedra’s wrath, but they went further, circumventing her blocking attempts to keep arguing long after it became clear that neither of them would budge from their positions.

That meant war!

(Of course, she could have chosen to simply not interact with the troll, which was what everyone else in the community did, but that felt like losing, and having someone to get angry with so regularly was oddly therapeutic.)

There was a pattern. After countless verbal battles, Phaedra had gathered a little tactical information about her enemy. They were a few years older than her. They were normally eloquent, but got sloppy when they replied while drunk, which happened frequently. They could create a seemingly infinite number of elaborate sockpuppets in all impunity, taking great joy in giving them ridiculously complex blogs and backstories and randomizing pronouns, but they never bothered to hide their own infuriating personality.

Oh, and although every other account acted innocent and invented a whole new identity, she was ninety percent certain they really were a furry. Just her luck, in this game of cat and mouse.

Biting her lip, Phaedra hit send , watching the icon next to the timestamp like a hawk. Following her mysterious enemy’s habits…

After only a few seconds, the read icon lit up, and three dots began to jump up and down. 

RuddyWater (11:37)

Aww, busted already?

A rare, smug grin splashed onto Phaedra’s face. She typed in a blur, her reply nearly instant as well.

FayeFiletMignon (11:38)

You know what comes next. 

RuddyWater (11:39)

Oh, no, no, let me do the honors, Faye.

A crude pencil drawing of a dinosaur materialized, flipper elegantly propping a sharp-toothed grin.

[You have been blocked by RuddyWater]

Phaedra huffed at her screen, a little bummed out, but she did win this round, so the grin didn’t fade. This was one of those occasions where, for lack of material to fight over, her enemy simply intended to trick and provoke her with petty words, but all it took to shred their disguise was a single message.

Smiling, she closed the laptop and set it aside, glancing outside to the sky. Blue, without a single cloud in sight. Her mother was right. It was nice out.

As fast as it had come, the elation faded, and she sighed, flopping down on her mattress. The perspective of stepping outside was not appealing in the slightest… unless… maybe she could go to that cafe she liked? They had good lemon honey tea, but it was across the street from… 

What day was today? Saturday? That store would be open… which meant… one of those twins would be there… Urgghh… 

Phaedra slapped her warming cheeks. Her hands were clammy and gross. Because of the blanket. It was thanks to August, and absolutely nothing else , that she was overheating. Nothing. Else.

Staring at her ceiling fan, the girl beat back her roiling emotions, picturing herself smacking a toothy monster. She felt like her mood swung back at her with an uppercut— how dare she feel any happiness at all, fleeting that it was, for such petty reasons? Shame and guilt crept up on her, familiar like pet snakes, tangling up with grief and helplessness until she was suffocating. 

Phaedra hurled her blanket to the floor, sending several of her plushies flying. Even with the window open, the air was too stale. Her mother was right, she needed to step out of the house.

Well now look at what you’ve done. Innocent little friends all over the place.

“Sorry…” Phaedra spoke to no one in particular. She bent down to pick up her stuffed animals one by one— Daphne found her that way, still in pajamas, kneeling with an armful of fluff. She said nothing. Her expression spoke loud enough for words to be smothered: she set down her daughter’s plate and picked up a stuffed manta, nesting it back onto the pillow, its rightful place. 

Phaedra followed, setting her larger burden down with a little oof. She took a moment to arrange her horde on the bed, and then she wandered to her desk, where her food was already cooling.

“Phaedra?”

“Ah. Sorry. Thanks.”

Daphne huffed, smiling an actress’s sincere smile. “The legion downstairs misses you, so… Will you come down with your plate when you’re done?”

As if in agreement, a distant bark slobbered guilt all over Phaedra’s face. “Sure. Yeah. I’ll get dressed.”

Slow, slow summer day at work. A blessing or a curse?

As the only employee present, Cheth wasn’t quite sure which it should be, but had all the authority required to decide and no one to tell her she couldn’t. So, long done with organizing the stock, she wandered to the edge of her realm, besides the door, to breathe in a little breeze on this hot August day. 

She could call it a curse because it was incredibly boring . Con season was over, but folks hadn’t come back from vacation yet. With the next high in October, there was no need for two to work the late summer shifts, especially during the day. No one was in the mood for pentacles at three in the afternoon, seeing how slow activity got.

Go figure, clients mostly wandered into a store called “Dark Dark Abyss” in the evening. 

On the other hand, she was basically being paid to dick around on her phone, and that wasn’t exactly the worst. She’d certainly worked harder, worse paying retail jobs. Boredom was a symptom of her freedom here. Hmm…

Cheth tried to find another argument in favor, but came up short. The scales seemed titled towards this being a curse. Ah well. Back to being bored. Or was she? Cheth grabbed the doorframe, peering outside.

This narrow street wasn’t exactly busy, but the store on the opposite side was a semi-famous cafe, so there were always at least a couple clients milling about, nursing drinks or pastries. Good pastries. As such, it was a nice spot for people-watching, and today there were quite a few folks enjoying a Saturday afternoon snack.

Oh?

A young woman was staring. Teenager, or early twenties. Blonde. Her phone was set down on the table next to her. She was dressed nice and neat; Cheth spied a sparkly little thing that she guessed was a cross pendant on her necklace. One of the local rich church girls, probably. There were a lot of those in this town.

Most importantly, however, the stranger was staring directly at Cheth, eyes wide, perhaps even blushing, as if starstruck by the sight of her. So very flattering to be someone’s gay awakening! A giddy sort of joy had the tall, dark and pretty lady wave at the poor thing, grinning with all of her teeth. 

Hahahahaha. The poor girl choked on her tea. 

Cackling like some sort of hyena, Cheth wandered back inside. Oh dear. All in a day’s work. She sat back down behind the counter and took out her phone, humming a happy song.

Cheth had to spend a lot of time idling behind this counter. There were busy days, else the store would close down altogether… but most of her shifts weren’t busy.

So, she needed a hobby, see. An activity to do from her phone at idle times. Some people might call it “cyberbullying”, but Cheth didn’t see her sockpuppet shows that way… it was more of a jousting game! She never sought out to do actual damage, wouldn’t debase herself with violent threats or doxxing, it was all just a ploy to be really annoying. Jousting, yes.

Her favorite victim was a naive little bigot she met a few months ago. “Faye” was abrasive, not exactly open-minded, and staunchly passionate, which led some of their little debates to last for hours until one of them blocked the other. Like talking to a wall, hoping it’ll move aside. Perfect entertainment to fill those sluggish hours.

Cheth was worked up into a frustrated rage every so often, but Faye was entertaining to mess with, and never actually took steps to permanently stop their exchanges. Perhaps she enjoyed taking Cheth on, too. Cheth could almost respect that. Would have, if not for her naive, rancid opinions on their mutually favorite novels… and with new books coming out every few months, they never did quite run out of material.

Cheth opened an app and scrolled through her accounts, looking for one that hadn’t been blocked yet. She’d been busted earlier that day, but she was in a good enough mood to try and mess with Faye again. What would be a good angle this time..? She was too obvious last time.

LadyFeesh (15:56)

Hi cutie!

Saw you’re also a fan of volume 5

Got time to talk? :3

Aaaand sent. That sounded innocent enough. Now to wait… Faye was only very rarely busy (another reason she was one of Cheth’s favorite to bother) so Cheth should be getting her daily dose of attention any minute now. 

Any minute now. 

LadyFeesh (15:58)

OwO; 

I thought I saw you online

My bad

Are you there

Hewwo?

Any… minute…

LadyFeesh (15:59)

I saw you type

You’re totally there

Cmon

I don’t bite

Unless you’re into that 

FayeFiletMignon (16:00)

duck off

Cheth’s eyebrows shot up to her hairline. Since when did this proper little princess swear? Even her autocorrect seemed to find the concept disturbing.

LadyFeesh (16:00)

Something happened?

FayeFiletMignon is typing…

Cheth waited, chewing on her lip, but the three dots stopped hopping after a handful of seconds. 

LadyFeesh (16:01)

Faye?

You win it’s just me again

You good?

Just say something

I’ll listen

FayeFiletMignon is typing…

Again, the frustrating creature seemed to type up a response and neglect to send it. Did she suddenly hate Cheth more than usual? Was this intended to be psychological torture?

LadyFeesh (16:03)

Look

If whatever is happening is the worst thing that ever happened to you talking will help you survive it 

And if it’s not then guess what

Talking will help you realize it’s not so bad

Take it from a pro at Going Through It

This time, perhaps the sincerity came through, as Faye actually sent something back.

FayeFiletMignon (16:04)

It’s not the worst 

Okay.

FayeFiletMignon (16:05)

The worst was my father’s death  

Okay, goddamn .

FayeFiletMignon (16:05)

I’m so stupid 

I should just be able to ignore her

I just

Can’t

Had Cheth been drinking tea, much like the cute stranger earlier, she would have choked on it. As it was, her airways were clear, and there was nothing to distract her from immediately texting back, locking onto the gossip like a shark smelling blood in the water.

She just very barely held back from sending “spill the tea”, though that was absolutely her vibe. 

LadyFeesh (16:06)

Someone bullying you?

FayeFiletMignon (16:06)

No! No she didn’t do anything wrong

it’s me

I don’t even know her name

she’s just a pretty lady

I shouldn’t be looking at her like that

she SMILED and WAVED at me and I just

i’m a pervert

Cheth blinked. She stared at her phone for a few seconds, waiting for Faye to elaborate, but nothing came.

LadyFeesh (16:08)

So you’ve been harping on about how your fictional little miss perfect can’t possibly be dating her best friend because you’re repressing a crush on a girl irl?

FayeFiletMignon (16:08)

shut up

i’m in public i

i cant

Yeesh. 

LadyFeesh (16:09)

Sorry. Do go on

FayeFiletMignon (16:09)

this is fun for you isnt it

Cheth couldn’t exactly deny that she was enjoying the gossip very much. 

FayeFiletMignon (16:09)

maybe i just 

she looks a lot like her twin brother 

could just be that

Twin brother..? Interesting. Details were trickling into place, slowly coming to form a coherent picture, but she didn’t have enough colors yet.

LadyFeesh (16:10)

Maybe! I wouldn’t bet on it though~

Face it tiger

Brother or no brother

This sounds pretty damn gay to me

FayeFiletMignon (16:10)

why am i even talking to YOU about this

LadyFeesh (16:10)

I figured because you don’t care enough about my terrible, queer, rancid opinions to angst about what I think of you

FayeFiletMignon (16:11)

you’re infuriating

LadyFeesh (16:11)

Only saying the truth, princess 

Not like I would know who you like irl

Your secret is safe with this complete stranger

Cheth pressed send and waited, but no reply came. Maybe she’d pissed off Faye enough to leave her phone aside? That didn’t last long. 

LadyFeesh (16:13)

Still there?

Three dots began to bounce. So she was still around.

FayeFiletMignon (16:14)

can a bad ex turn you off men

LadyFeesh (16:14)

I’d say yes but that’s not going to turn you on women if you catch my drift

What’d he do?

FayeFiletMignon (16:15)

literally none of your business

LadyFeesh (16:15)

Neither is your little breakdown! Though amusing that it is to watch 

I don’t mind making it my business if it’s funny

Tell me the whole story 

FayeFiletMignon (16:16)

there’s nothing to say.

LadyFeesh (16:16)

Cmon there’s got to be some juicy details. You said your pretty lady has a twin brother?

FayeFiletMignon (16:17)

they look like twins, i don’t know

never seen them together

That was kind of funny, in a half-familiar way. Cheth fiddled with her name tag, an amused smirk on her face— one side said Beth, and the other said Chester , neither the truth, neither a complete lie. Just about half and half, no twin necessary.

FayeFiletMignon (16:17)

we haven’t even talked

they both work at this satanic store across from a cafe

i just see them around

Cheth’s smirk froze solid on her face.

FayeFiletMignon (16:18)

why am I even looking twice at a store like that

its like the devil just wants to drown me himself

Cheth waited. Her interlocutor left it off there, which was maddening— she sent a couple more messages, but no reply showed up as the seconds ticked by.

This had to be a coincidence.

The cute girl Cheth had smiled at and the stubborn kitten in her private messages couldn’t possibly be the same person, right? How many cafes had anything resembling a “satanic” store across from them? There had to be more than one.

…the pit in her stomach didn’t abate. Uneasy, she rose from the counter, walking to the door like one may walk to their doom in the gallows.

Maybe the blonde girl had already left.

Maybe Cheth was reading too much into it…

Against all expectations, however, rather than an empty table, there was a commotion on the other side of the street. A small crowd had gathered where Cheth left the blonde before, and its yapping was jarring, too enthusiastic and overly loud.  

“Miss Philemon, an update?”

“We would like a comment on—”

“You’ve been missing from the public eye—”

(Philemon? That name was familiar.)

Before she could think, Cheth had stepped out of the store and shoved her way through the mob. A quick scan of the situation up close did not make her feel more charitable. Faye or not, the blonde from before was stubbornly ignoring the newcomers, looking like she was about to explode. Or maybe cry. Both?

So Cheth did the only thing that was rational for her to do: she grabbed the girl’s wrist and yanked her out of her chair, shoving her behind her to shield her somewhat. 

Then, she smiled. “Alright. That’s enough from all of you.”

A comically large camera flashed in her face.

Cheth had a generally positive view of journalism. Clearly, these people were the bottom of the barrel, if they were in the barrel at all. “I do not remember consenting for pictures,” she commented with her sweetest grin. The kind of grin a ravenous dragon might throw at its prey. “Would you rather I shatter your lenses or do you want to delete these yourselves?”

“I-I’ll delete right away…” 

Black tattoos down her arms, a head taller than average, even in uniform, Cheth’s presence was nothing short of imposing. At times like these, it was very helpful. She only had to stare down the insects. Not quite certain that she wouldn’t act on her threat, the mob backed off and, wary and disgruntled, huddled together a few steps away.

Cheth took that respite to lean close to the blond princess she was apparently rescuing. “You already paid for your drink, right?” Maybe-Faye nodded, eyes as wide as her tea’s saucer, perhaps a little dazed. She let Cheth pull her away from the hungry gazes of the cameras, allowed herself to be pushed inside the store, stumbled forward while Cheth blocked the doorway. 

“We’re closed!”

Cheth slammed the door. 

The counter, the shelves, and the walls of the store were all painted black, matching the clothes being sold. That made the presence of the bleached human skull (marked as not for sale) all the more striking, even though it was kept under a glass case with the jewelry. 

Phaedra had never actually stepped inside this store. Nevermind that she was practically carried inside, it felt like forbidden grounds. Cursed. Printed art of various demons and other satanic signs littered the room, oppressive yet uncannily… inoffensive.

She wasn’t stupid: this was a spooky store to sell spooky things, not preach against the church. For all that it was breaching taboos and parading dark imagery, it was all a show for the benefit of those who enjoyed the aesthetic. There was no danger, no horror movie plot. She just found it… creepy, and in bad taste. 

“So.” Phaedra jumped. The beautiful woman who’d dragged her inside —Beth, if her name tag was to be believed— cleared her throat. “Does this happen often?”

Took a couple of seconds for Phaedra to understand the question. “The paparazzi? They’ve been bolder than usual.” She threw an uneasy glance towards the door. Through the glass of the storefront, she could still see the mob, clearly loitering in hopes of interrogating her further. “They… usually leave if I ignore them long enough. Or my dogs chase them.” Phaedra bit her lip. She should’ve taken one of the samoyeds with her. Hopefully those stalkers wouldn’t keep a grudge against Beth for helping her get away from them. “I’m so sorry for the bother.”

Fortunately for her, yet unfortunately for her poor little sapphic heart, Beth waved her off. “They were making a ruckus. If not me, the cafe would’ve intervened against them for disrupting their business.” Perhaps. Phaedra really hated how glad she was that it had been Beth. She found it difficult to focus, with the beauty’s attention all on her. Her chest hurt, her cheeks felt hot. “I don’t think they’re going to leave for a while though.”

Right.

Beth pouted, which was surely a mortal sin, and reached under the counter. “You know what, you can wait in the back room. Even if they come inside, they won’t be able to bother you.” She grabbed something, then gestured for Phaedra to follow her through another (black) door, which she kicked open. From the shockwave, Beth’s hair billowed behind her, silk-like.

Good lord. Please keep her strong and let her not make an utter fool of herself. This was ridiculous.

Between her dad’s prestigious career and her mother’s background as an actress, Phaedra had been raised around celebrities. Since she was little, she knew truly beautiful people who had succeeded in life relying on their pretty faces. Beauty left her largely indifferent. Surely she’d been coerced into attending galas where tickets were more expensive than this entire store combined…

…but her crush cared not about Beth’s cheap uniform, nor did it let chipped, unmanicured nails mar her image. Rather than holding her back, imperfections seemed to enhance her natural beauty. Phaedra thought herself a good girl, but even the Stygian tattoos on Beth’s arms captivated her. There was a presence to her, an intense physicality to being next to her (lord above, she was so tall) that Phaedra had simply never experienced before.

That said, if Phaedra ever saw Beth in properly tailored clothes, she might actually die on the spot.

“Sit here.”

Phaedra obediently flopped on a bench propped against a wall of the back room. Her face was burning with the flames of the Hell they would both be thrown into. Did she remember how to blink? Uh… no, no, focus!

Unlike the store itself, and though it was cramped and busy with files and boxes, this back room wasn’t heavily decorated. Just some crude pencil drawings of half-familiar dinosaurs that had been hung up on the wall. A book was shoved into her hands. 

Phaedra’s eyes flickered between the beauty and the book, uncertain on which to focus on, before recognizing the title.

H-How did Beth know about this series? Did she also like it? Was this Fate?

Perhaps her cheesy thoughts showed on her face. Beth looked like she was about to say something, but she seemed to change her mind and looked away. Neither broke the awkward silence, the seated, flustered Phaedra dwarfed even more than usual. 

Eventually, Beth simply said “You can read this if you’re bored. Stay as long as you want.” Then, she left, but she closed the door much more gently than she had opened it.

Phaedra was left alone in the back room.  

She sagged, tension bleeding out of her body. Reflexively, she reached for her phone, but her hand dropped halfway. Did she actually want to resume her conversation with that prick…

Now that she was no longer in close proximity to her crush, her brain’s gears were starting to work again. Ahhh… they talked, they only talked, but her mind completely shut down back there… Although it felt like pulling teeth, Phaedra had to admit her most annoying enemy had a point: her crush was genuine, and intense at that. Now what?

Unfortunately, she didn’t know what to do about it. Asking that woman out was unthinkable. Especially at work! Beth had been so kind, but they were strangers. Was Beth even interested in women? No, more importantly, how did Phaedra feel about that? She did like guys too, she’d be lying if she claimed her eyes didn’t also linger on Beth’s brother, did she just like both? Was she just a pervert? How would her mother feel? Her grandmother? The dogs wouldn’t care, at least.

Oh dear.

Nope, nope, nope. Phaedra flipped the novel open, once again fleeing reality for the comfort of imaginary adventures. This wasn’t her copy, but it would distract her just the same. Actually, now that she thought about it, she’d never dared to speak with another fan in real life before. Maybe she could get over her crush by being regular friends. Yeah. Right.

The first thing she noticed about the book was that it was quite well-loved. Phaedra’s own copy was a nice hardcover; this was a cheap pocket edition with the spine cracked, the cover scratched, and some page corners had been folded.

Phaedra treated her books almost religiously, so she would never damage the pages like this. She kept everything she owned in pristine condition if she could help it. Perhaps it was impossible to tell that she owned her own copy, or that it had been opened at all. She had taken pride in how good her care was before, but now, faced with the complete opposite of her own behavior, she felt a tinge of sadness.

So, unlike her, Beth didn’t shy away from leaving her mark. Which pages had been bookmarked? Rather than starting from the first chapter, she thumbed the pages until she reached the first cornered page, somewhere in chapter three. 

Ah, she recognized the scene right away. Her nebulous enemy liked to bring it up often, as evidence that Phaedra’s favorite character was secretly in love with her patron. Obviously, it was a stretch. Wasn’t it natural for someone to be obedient to their god? The Mother Goddess was framed more as a parental figure to her subjects, why would she intentionally seduce a follower? That’d be weird!

Phaedra kept going. The next cornered page was in chapter six, another one that Phaedra heard about often. This one was about a minion of the main villainess being manipulated through her feminine wiles. That was another one they liked to bring up, to compare it with the previous scene… 

The young woman was now pouring over the pages, eyebrows furrowed with something not quite like fear. One is chance. Two is a coincidence. Three… three is a pattern. Four… five…

Fourteen was evidence. Probably. Could it still be a coincidence? There were some scribbled pencil notes on the pages, too, underlined keywords and handwriting just legible enough for her to read, but all too familiar for one who had spent months receiving photographed excerpts of this very same book.

Was Beth… no way. No way, no way, no way…

Phaedra crept to the door, opening it silently. Just a crack. Just enough to fracture her paranoia. The woman was seated at the counter, back to her, phone set to the side… deep in thoughts.

Eyes fixed onto the scene, Phaedra typed a simple message. 

FayeFiletMignon (16:28)

Still around?

Not a second after she sent it, Beth’s phone let out a light ping. Heart suddenly beating too hard, Phaedra hastily closed the back room’s door again. No way. No way, no way, no way…

Moments later, Phaedra received a reply.

LadyFeesh (16:28)

Yeah. You okay?

No.

FayeFiletMignon (16:28)

I will be.

Are you Beth? Are you behind the door? Did I tell all that to the very person I have this horrible crush on?!

Phaedra couldn’t bear to ask, be it in person or through text. Oh lord almighty had Beth realized the truth yet? No… she would have said something, surely. Right? 

She set down her phone. On wobbly legs, she wandered back to the bench, collapsing onto it without a sound. She tried to think back to everything she knew about her enemy, what little came back often. She’d never been able to pin down a single name nor a gender for them, but there was a pattern.

A few years older than her. That didn’t mean much. She wasn’t exactly going to see Beth drunk on the job, so that wouldn’t help. The probably-a-furry thing— upon getting busted, her enemy liked to send doodles of a dinosaur making rude or ironic gestures. 

Phaedra’s eyes finally let themselves focus onto the drawings that had been lovingly taped to the wall, unmistakable in both their content and style.

A friendly dinosaur, speech bubbles warning other employees of this or that. Distinctive markings, noodly neck, toothy smile.

She wanted to rip the paper to shreds.

Phaedra didn’t know if she should feel some sort of victory, or utter despair. Did Beth also realize she was Faye, or was her rescue a coincidence? Beth wasn’t stalking her like those paparazzi outside, right? This couldn’t be some weird plot to seduce information out of her. Right? That kindness… had it been genuine at all?

Three hours later, Phaedra still hadn’t moved. Her phone had long since died, but she couldn’t find the strength to even twitch. Her mind was too blank to be bored. Time seemed to pass by simultaneously very quickly and agonizingly slowly…

The door was pushed open, disturbing her whirlpool of depression. “You haven’t left?”

No. Phaedra Philemon, sometimes also known as Faye, was still curled up on a cheap bench in all her miserable glory. The well-loved novel was untouched next to her.

Since her thoughts seemed to have grinded to a halt, there was only one question on her mind, one question she couldn’t bear to ask: How much did Beth actually know?

While she was rotting on the bench, the older woman put her hands on her hips. “I’m going to close shop, so you can’t stay here.” Phaedra slumped a little, but she nodded, shuffling back to her feet like a zombie. Was Beth faking? Was she genuine in her compassion? Did it matter at all?

Beth crossed her arms, glancing between the abandoned book and her defeated aura.

“Do you want a glass of water…? You look like crap.”

Phaedra shook her head, though her mouth was terribly dry. Then, she thought she was being horribly rude, so she forced herself to speak. “No thanks… Beth.” Her voice sounded too raw, even to her own ears, but, cheesily, before she trudged back home, she wanted to say her name at least once.

“About that… it’s Cheth.”

“What?”

The raven-haired beauty she was hopelessly crushing on snapped her fingers, smiling. “My name. The tag is wrong.”

“Cheth,” Phaedra repeated numbly. 

“Me.” The christened Cheth offered a mock bow. “And your name is…” 

Her voice died, the tension thickening all of a sudden.

How much did B… Cheth know?

The raven-haired beauty looked away, the very picture of fake innocence. “Those shit journalists mentioned it. You’re Phaedra Philemon… right?” Cheth hesitated on the last syllable, uncertain.

So you admit that you do know that much.

Cheth had a few hours to do some research. This, in itself, wasn’t suspicious, but the dodginess sparked her suspicion, her wrath. 

What did Phaedra even want? The disgusting truth? A comforting lie? Wouldn’t it be better for her crush to be killed by a betrayal?

“I know what you are.”

Taken off guard, Cheth, who was pale, enjoyed slightly sharper-than-average canines, and was dressed all in the red and black uniform of a goth store, raised both eyebrows with something like measured shock. Unfortunately, it was not Phaedra’s intention to make a humorous reference. She was nearly trembling with rage, all her bottled-up negative emotions rising, steaming and frothing to the surface, ready to blow up.

The young woman gestured sharply to the book, the doodles on the walls. “Do you think I’m stupid ?” 

Cheth winced. “Goodness, no. Wouldn’t be any fun to debate you if you were.” 

“Have you been stalking me? This whole time? You— You told me we were strangers !” Phaedra was way too short to do it comfortably, but she grabbed Cheth’s collar and yanked . “It’s been months— I— You tricked me—” The more she spoke, the redder she became; the more flustered she got, the harder she found it to speak.

“Woah, woah, woah, no. Don’t go and accuse me without basis, I had no clue until today.” Of course, Cheth would deny everything. That was what anyone with an agenda would do in that situation. Cheth had graciously bent in two for Phaedra’s fist on her collar, but, up close, close enough to see that thought on Phaedra’s face, she tensed and scowled like a ticked off beast. “Yeah, I stepped outside because I realized the cute girl I saw might be you, but I had no idea you were famous, I wasn’t even sure that was you.”

The angry woman shoved Phaedra off her, who, surprisingly, didn’t fight back. Rightful doubt had been cast on her initial assumption, but most importantly, an offhand phrase had kicked the air out of her lungs. All Phaedra could respond with was a stunned whisper: “YouthinkI’mcute?!” 

Her steaming and hissing anger was derailed, but the tide of Cheth’s had to run its course now. The imposing woman loomed over her impudent guest, teeth bared in what should have been a smile, but really was just a threat display.

“This is what always infuriates me about you. Online and offline, you’re the same, aren’t you? You would rather twist everything to fit your worldview, take the worst for the truth without hesitation, than listen to anyone . You never even ask, you assume. You never put yourself back into question, even when it’s glaring at you.” Phaedra bristled all over again, but Cheth wasn’t done, grinning condescendingly. “I should have known you were a rich little girl. You’re too used to the entire planet revolving around you.”

Now— Now that wasn’t fair. Phaedra nearly growled. “You’ve seen what that looks like. What else am I supposed to think? Leeches are out to get me!”

“ No wonder , if yelling is how you respond to kindness. I’m sure they’d be having a field day out there. Phaedra Philemon, self-sabotaging at every turn, what a headline.” Cheth sneered, eyes narrowed. “But of course, it’s not your fault. You have such a hard life. You’re allowed to scream and cry, you’ve got the resources to throw a tantrum. Even if you piss off the rest of the country with your behavior, daddy’ll make it all better—”

Phaedra flinched like she’d been slapped. Startled by her reaction, Cheth’s words abruptly dried out, but it was too far, too late.

The worst was my father’s death. Phaedra had told her already, how could Cheth say that?

A wave of broken-hearted grief crashed into Phaedra. Cheth had put her through so much doubt and shame already, simply by existing as a distant figure, and again as the infuriatingly clever rival to her vitriol. Now this?

Crushed by a weight like the ocean, Phaedra’s knees gave out. She’d reached her limit. She crumpled to the floor, sobbing her eyes out.

Cheth left.

Cheth left her on the floor of the back room, weeping alone, comfortless—

Phaedra’s life was like a downwards spiral, where every upturn was just one more warning that she could still sink deeper. Betrayed. Left behind. Tying her heart to the wrong people. What was next? Would Cheth just sell off the information she had on her? Phaedra had been so careful, but that woman knew so much, now that she had put everything together. Everything Phaedra said online, every argument she’d regretted, every pettiness could get back to the media to ridicule her further, make her smaller…

Cold.

Cold against her cheek.

Uh?

“Water.”

Cheth was kneeling next to her, wearing a complicated expression. Holding out a glass which was, indeed, full of water.

“I’ve been tempted but I don’t actually keep booze at work anymore so that’s all I got right now.”

Oh.

Water.

Phaedra took it. Hiccupped a sob, and wondered whether she’d choke. Drank anyway. Cold, down her throat. She sniffed. Drank the rest of the glass. Cheth took it back and handed her a tissue.

Okay. 

Cheth grimaced, exaggerating her expression of reluctance and disgust for a few seconds (trying to make Phaedra laugh?), before dropping her fateful words.

“Sorry. That was uncalled for.”

Phaedra sniffed in agreement. Another tissue materialized in her field of vision, this one not handed to her, just dabbing at her face where it was tear-stained. Against her own will, her heartrate picked up. 

Phaedra blew her nose. 

“I’m sorry for the trouble,” she mumbled back, because despite everything she really was sorry.

“We should’ve seen it coming. That we’d fight on our first real meeting.” Cheth wrapped an arm around Phaedra’s shoulders and pulled them both back to their feet. “I do need to close shop though. Wait for me outside?”

Phaedra nodded.

Loitering in front of the store, she found herself wondering what she was still doing here. Cheth asked her to wait, but… shouldn’t she go home? She didn’t want to go home. Her mom would ask why she looked like she’d cried. The dogs would sense her mood, whine and weep with her. Going home sounded far, far beyond her strength at the moment. Becoming a mop was just about all she felt capable of.

Keys twisted in a lock. The pretty lady’s anger seemed to have completely vanished behind her cheerful demeanor. She had changed out of her uniform, now wearing a black skirt and a leather jacket.

“Alright!” Cheth clapped her hands. “How about this: You’re depressed, I’m depressed, we can drink ourselves silly about it.”

Phaedra raised an eyebrow.

“You are old enough to drink, yes?” Well… she was. “Got your ID on you?” She took it everywhere. “Then it’s a perfect plan! I’ll take you to my favorite bar. Or we can hop. Whichever you want.” 

Phaedra was still baffled by the concept, but she fell into step alongside her animated companion. “I got off work late, I’m sure it’s already open. If you don’t like wine, they’ve got cocktails, too, just about everything. Used to bartend there—”

So they were just going to pretend nothing happened? 

Phaedra considered the alternative. Exhaustion reminded her that was a terrible idea. Cheth grabbed her wrist, pulling her through a shady-looking threshold, and Phaedra’s heart began to beg for some form of relief, nearly too sore to beat.

Luckily, a bar was exactly the right place for that.

Chapter Text

They didn’t bar hop. Both Phaedra and Cheth agreed they were too tired. Instead, the princess and the dragon huddled on the same side of a booth, content to pile glasses in front of them, higher and higher with refills and the occasional bottle. There was food, too, snacks to soak up the alcohol, but Phaedra honestly couldn’t remember what she ordered or what her frugal dinner tasted like.

“So… if you’re a goth…” Unable to keep it upright, Phaedra had long dropped her head on the table, but, ever one to at least try to act proper, she did her best to articulate. “Why do… why don’t you paint your nails black?”

Cheth blinked, owlish.

Cheth carefully set her empty glass back down on the table, concentrating on her task if only because she had much experience in breaking them.

Cheth stared long and hard at the very drunk, very annoying blonde next to her, and tears welled up in her eyes.

“Goodness, why don’t I paint my nails black?” In a matter of seconds, her sniffling turned into full-on bawling. Phaedra clumsily patted her shoulder, too sloshed to lift her head, but not too sloshed to miss a pretty girl when she saw one.

Chapter Text

Cheth’s skull was absolutely trying to kill him. His bones were rebelling against his soul, intent on beating his spirit to a pulp to make him pay for his sins. Or perhaps he’d overdone it last night and should try consuming some non-alcoholic liquid to hydrate. 

You know. Try to drown, or at least dissolve the pain. 

Mhm. 

Didn’t want to move though. Moving made the pain worse, and he was so comfy, huddled under the covers. Soft fabric swaddled him, and a warm presence clutched at his clothes, weighing down on him almost like a hug. 

Goodness, when was the last time he’d been hugged? Had it been his mom?

Cheth continued to bask for a few minutes, as relaxed and content as he could get with a hummingbird jackhammering his brain.

Alright.

Fine.

Water.

He had a bottle somewhere next to the bed…

Bravely, an arm stretched out of the soft and safe space into the uncomfortably warm, cruel morning, blindly reaching for noisy plastic. Pat. Pat. Pat. Crunch. There!

The arm rapidly retreated to the comfort of the covers. August was too hot for a heavy blanket, but there was a sense of safety under the thin sheets. Wincing at the crinkling cacophony, Cheth uncapped the bottle and gulped down some water. That was a little better… his mouth no longer tasted gross, and it cleared his head somewhat. 

Enough to realize he wasn’t alone, at least.

Cheth nearly jumped out of bed, sitting up so suddenly that his poor abused brain seemed to rattle in his skull. 

He wasn’t actually in the habit of bringing strangers home, even drunk… However, it was unmistakable that a small woman was in his bed right now, blissfully unaware that she was sleeping away this Sunday morning. She didn’t look healthy nor rested: she was too pale, and dark circles persisted under her eyes, even in sleep. Her hair was tousled, a golden mess all over his pillow. Save for shoes and jackets, they’d both collapsed with all their clothes on, so those were a complete mess, too, wrinkled, permeated with the stank of alcohol. There was a bit of drool in the corner of her mouth. 

However long they slept, the famous (infamous?) Phaedra Philemon had been tucked against his back, clinging to his shirt. Mhm. Wow. That didn’t sound real.

Light fingers came to brush her hair out of her face. Just so she wouldn’t chew on it. She didn’t wake up… but she tucked her face into the pillow like a little animal. Cute. 

Cheth withdrew his hand and squished his own cheeks, cool palms oh so soothing. Good thing she was asleep right now. Vulnerability? Pah! He had that insufferable prick reputation to keep.

As silently as he could muster himself to be, Cheth slipped out of bed. The shock had properly woken him up now. Might as well get started with his day, for example, with a change of clothes… 

His eyes swept the messy room, which was overrun with various (clean) (probably) articles of clothing. His closet was packed full, so full that it overflowed everywhere in his tiny apartment, and, well, guests were just not something he was used to having over at all, so he never really bothered to tidy up…   

Phaedra slumbered on.

Perhaps he’d also clean up a bit while she was passed out… just a matter of dignity.

When it was her turn to emerge, Phaedra was incredibly groggy. So much so that she groaned, protesting the existence of sunlight. Mrgh. Her mother usually didn’t open the blinds without asking… 

Unfortunately, she couldn’t fall back asleep. For one thing, she wasn’t so comfortable, too hot in whatever constricting pajamas she was wearing. For another… that was not her pillow… her pillow didn’t smell like this, and it was much softer… she was painfully squishing her nose here. 

Regretfully, Phaedra lifted her face out of the fabric.

This… was not her room at all.

She gathered the covers closer to her chest, sitting up in alarm. Where in the world was she? This was not her room. Not even a room in her house. This was a stranger’s bedroom. How did she get there? Why did her head hurt? Did she get kidnapped???

Perhaps ordered by fate, a handle chose this moment to click, and, like that of the villain of a spy flick, a deep voice Phaedra didn’t recognize sneered her name from behind the door.

“Awake yet, Philemon?”

The newcomer’s head slipped inside, and he was promptly rewarded for his theatrics by an (uncomfortably hard) pillow thrown at high velocity. He cursed colorfully, kicking the door open in a curiously familiar fashion. 

“What the??!!?!”

Phaedra narrowed her eyes. As the stranger removed the pillow from his face, she thought she’d seen him somewhere before… she gasped. “Cheth’s brother? I’m… you startled me. Sorry.”

“The thanks I get for letting you sleep over…” She was answered by an unamused groan. He rolled his eyes and strode into the room without a hint of shame. Phaedra was still wearing last night’s clothes, she wasn’t naked or anything, but his casual attitude felt like a breach of decency somehow. They’d never spoken before, had they? Even if she was staying at his house, weren’t there some rules of modesty being breached? 

(Or was she just that sheltered? This wasn’t her house, after all.)

He dropped beside her on the bed, causing a disagreeable noise that made her head pound. Too close. Too far. He didn’t break her brain as badly as his sister did, because at least she was allowed to like him — yet Cheth and him looked so similar. While his sister preferred to let it flow, he tied his hair in a low ponytail to get it out of the way, but the way they grinned as exasperation just barely brushed the surface was identical.

“So. Funny story.” He leaned towards her, forcing her to back off with a light blush. “My twin sister doesn’t look like me at all.”

What?

“Getting this out of the way. No matter what I wear, or what I sound like, my name is Cheth.”

Uh?

Cheth must have been a hundred percent aware that he’d only achieved filling Phaedra’s head with question marks, but he offered no useful input whatsoever. Siblings… with the same name? No. That made no sense, even for twins. He just said his sister didn’t look like him; but the girl Cheth looked exactly like him. Uh?

Perhaps it just wasn’t the best time. Her skull was pounding something fierce. She had to push a hand against her forehead to formulate some kind of coherent thought. “What?”

An exasperated sigh. Cheth(?) was so, so frustrating, refusing to explain anything and letting her scramble, yet losing patience as if she should have had some sort of divine intuition to figure it out. 

The man on the bed cleared his throat, and out of his mouth flowed Cheth’s voice. “Would the princess like breakfast? In bed perhaps?” That… That was the voice she knew and remembered from last night.

Phaedra blinked owlishly, but without missing a beat, Cheth resumed talking with a deeper voice. “You are not getting breakfast in bed but I did make batter for pancakes.”

Uh????

Phaedra Augusta Philemon woke up not five minutes ago, with a hangover so bad that she was struggling to make sense of this conversation at all. Thus, she was not in the best state to think, and instead of responding to his speech, her next words were completely unfiltered: “Which is your real voice?”

Cheth… pouted. “They’re both real. Do you see me using a voice changer?”

Fair enough… she supposed… “So… Uh…” This was the same pretty lady that she’d spent the evening with… but she was a guy now? Was that the real reason why her online rival always pulled out different identities? He changed it in real life too? Why? Phaedra took it back, this man was breaking her brain as well, just in an unexpected way. “…what do I call you?”

“Cheth.” Cheeky bastard!

“I’m trying . You’re awful.”

Cheth was staring at her with curious wide eyes. “Honestly, I expected you to freak out about this. Thought you wouldn’t believe me. That I might need to show some proof, know what I mean?” He said this while grabbing his shirt at the chest, winking. That summoned some forbidden mental imagery to her brain (no no NO don’t imagine him shirtless—). 

She was sure he’d done it on purpose, so she scowled and didn’t dignify his sass with an answer.

She had no idea whether both of her crushes being the same person helped the matter at all. Instead of trying to peer at the truth of the universe, she changed the subject. “You mentioned pancakes…” Phaedra pressed her fingers into her forehead like she was hoping to dig the headache out of her skull. “Do you have a kettle? For tea?”

Cheth raised an eyebrow. “You want to make some hot tea? Not even iced tea? In this weather?”

“Yes. Please.” He was one to talk, wearing a leather jacket in August… inside the house? Phaedra was sweating even with the light clothing she’d worn the previous day.

Speaking of which… between last night’s bar and the rising temperature making her sweat, she felt really gross. “Would you mind if I took a shower?”

“Yes. I’d mind. I prefer stinky guests so I can smell them coming and they can’t sneak up on me and stab me in the back.” Gross. He said this with such a perfectly straight face that it almost ripped a smile off her lips. Then, he scrunched his nose. “How about you borrow some of my clothes, too.”

“…excuse me?”

“No point in being clean if you’re going to wear dirty clothes.”

Not wrong… but a quick once over had her doubting the pragmatism of that plan. Cheth was much taller than her, for a start, taking up almost too much space in the cramped bedroom. “I… don’t think anything you own will fit me?” 

Her host smirked. 

For all explanation, he said “I thrift a lot. I definitely have something that fits you somewhere.”

Mhm. She sensed an ulterior motive. Phaedra wasn’t in a state to try and decipher it, but she could smell the stink of bullshit from a mile away, especially when her longtime rival was the one speaking. “What are you planning?”

The smirk grew wider, almost too wide. “Phaedra, you have such a doll face, I have got to dress you up. Oh, I could do your makeup, too.” He tapped his fingers together like an evil mad scientist. “Do you know how common blondes are in fiction? Very common. I’m sure you could pull off many, many effortless cosplays. Let me just think of something.”

So Phaedra did need to put her foot down. “I am not cosplaying for you.” She grimaced for good measure.

Cheth shrugged. “Fine. Then you can look in the closet yourself.” Rolling her eyes, Phaedra rose from the bed and trudged over, planting herself in front of the massive cupboard that took up half of the tiny room for some darn reason.

Behind her, Cheth suddenly remembered something. “Wait.” Unfortunately… he remembered it too late.

“AAAAH!”

Phaedra had barely touched the closet before it burst, vomiting such a tsunami of clothes that for a hot second she believed herself the unwilling victim of an assassination attempt. Half buried in a pile of fabric nearly taller than her, eyes very very wide, heart beating much too fast, Phaedra could only ask. 

“W-Why?”

(Just clothes. Just clothes. Just clothes.)

Cheth had the decency to look put off. “As I said, I thrift.” As if it explained anything about the explosion! He scooted over and began to pick at the pile, soon extracting a black and red button-up shirt and a pair of white pants. Phaedra told herself to move, but she was making slow progress. “Eyeballing it, these should fit you. Check the size.”

She glanced at the worn tag. “Thank you.” Phaedra clutched the bundle against her chest and quickly made her way to the door, legs a little wobbly from the fright. “Where’s the bathroom?”

“The door that doesn’t have a chain,” Cheth drawled. Uh? Oh.

Peering out of it told her the bedroom wasn’t the only room that was small. The rest of the apartment was just one more kitchen/living room/entrance, and what had to be the bathroom. Phaedra lived in a similarly small apartment while attending college, too… her question did sound silly now.

“My bag!”

Right besides the door that did have a chain, she spotted something that she owned. Cheth found her kneeling next to it, digging through her belongings with frantic energy.

“Lost something?”

She fished out her phone. Relief. “No. Just making sure I haven’t… right, it’s out of battery.”

“Gimme, I’ll charge it.” Cheth monkeyed an expression of disgust. “Now go take that shower already.”

Would the bastard quit implying she was gross for a minute? Phaedra handed the phone over, together with a charger. “Don’t even try to look through it,” she warned.

He rolled his eyes and plugged her phone in the kitchen area while she disappeared in the bathroom. “Don’t take too long or I’m making you pay my water bill!”

Cheth had no kettle, so he poured some water in a pan and set it to high heat. 

First pancake turned out alright, quite fluffy. Jam was okay. Sweet. Too bad he didn’t have blueberries. He didn’t buy fresh fruit anymore, he never had the energy to actually eat them before they went bad. 

Cheth chewed on, idly listening to the shower run. That was so weird, wasn’t it. He was used to living alone, and his place didn’t feel that small when he did, but having even just one person over made him feel crowded.

For all his teasing and prodding, though… Phaedra might, but he didn’t hate company. 

Vrrrr, vrrrr…

Cheth’s whipped towards the phone on the table. Who would be calling him a Sunday morning? No one ever called him full stop. His sister? No fucking way, or if she did, it would only spell trouble. Then…

No. Wait. That wasn’t his phone. The call was Phaedra’s business. He peeked at the screen without touching, curious but unwilling to breach her privacy just yet.

The caller ID decided for him. His heart dropped and he hurriedly grabbed the phone. This was an urgent call.

“Hello?”

Silence on the other side. Of course. That wasn’t quite the voice the caller had expected. Maybe he should’ve tried a falsetto.

“Who are you and what have you done with my daughter?“

Oh dear. “Phaedra is fine, ma’am. She’s just taking a shower. Her phone was dead until now.” 

Cheth didn’t have a plan. 

This had to be the world-renowned actress Daphne Philemon, if only because her daughter’s phone had the contact saved as Mom , but he was more nervous about her being a mother than her claim to fame. Of course a good mother would be worried about her daughter dropping off the face of the Earth overnight. That was his fault. He hadn’t thought for one second that Phaedra might have people to return to, people who would be worried if she got piss drunk and passed out in a stranger’s home until morning. He didn’t have anyone. Why would he think of it? But she wasn’t just a temperamental princess, she was also someone’s daughter and oh he fucked up so bad.

“Who are you ?” Daphne Philemon’s tone frankly scared him. 

“I’m… Phaedra’s friend.”

“A friend I’ve never met?” 

Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck

“Online. Friend. We met in real life by chance yesterday.”

Daphne Philemon sighed. Did she not believe him? Cheth was scrambling for something reassuring to say, but until Phaedra returned, it wasn’t like he could prove to her that she was okay.

“Please.” That woman had driven millions to tears on the silver screen, and in that instant, that single word addressed to him alone, Cheth knew exactly how. “If you are who you say you are, don’t play games with me. I’ve been trying to call her since yesterday. I thought… I thought something happened to her, too.”

Cheth recalled Phaedra’s admission the previous day. The worst was my father’s death.

Phaedra’s mother was a widow, and her husband’s death had been nothing short of traumatic for the whole family. He knew; everyone knew, the funeral had been televised, the news had talked about it for weeks, and if you were a morbid freak, you could dig up the grainy footage of his assassination. 

How could a family feel even remotely safe less than a year after that?

“I am so sorry we worried you.” Cheth swallowed a lump in his throat that had nothing to do with the pancake he was losing all appetite for. “I’ll pass the phone over as soon as she comes out, I promise. ”

Silence on the other side.

“If you want, I can walk Phaedra home after breakfast?” What the hell was he even saying. “Or you could send someone for her, I guess you might have a chauffeur…”

Perhaps Daphne Philemon was as bewildered as he felt.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY PHONE?!”

Oh, she was back. “Your mom called. You had…” He pushed the round button and glanced at her notifications. “Nineteen missed calls.”

His eyes landed on Phaedra just in time to see her go through multiple stages of grief in under five seconds. First there was denial, then her gaze caught the caller ID, and so there was anger, a distraught sort of bargaining, until she finally held out her hand with a defeated expression. 

Her hair was frizzy from the shower, so the puffiness added a comical bounce to her distress. Wisely, she ensured that the speaker was off before she replied. “Hi Mom. I’m okay. I… yeah, I know. I was… I’m sorry! I was distracted. Yes. No, I ran out of battery, we just plugged it in… Sh… He let me stay over. Yesterday? Long story. No, I— I don’t need Cal to pick me up, Mom!” 

Cheth let the tension bleed out of him and shoveled a cold pancake chunk in his mouth. Would Phaedra like his cheap strawberry jam? He looked through his cupboards but there was zero tea. He did find three shirts he thought he’d lost though. 

There was a bit of a hoarding situation. 

“Look, Mom, I’m not five anymore—” 

Yikes.

Phaedra had to sit close to the wall, to keep the phone plugged in, so Cheth chose to create some distance himself instead. He stood. The batter. Yes. Food. He set out to make more pancakes.

“I’ll be back before noon, okay?”

By the time he’d made enough pancakes for them both to burst, his unfortunate guest hung up.

“I’m in so much trouble,” Phaedra groaned against the table. Yep. Indeed. She made her mom worry, she should feel bad. At least the emergency was now in the past. Cheth pushed her plate forward— exactly half the pancakes, sibling habits die hard.

Reluctantly, Phaedra lifted her head to find her fork. Her expression was unpleasant, but somewhat dampened by her half-flattened, half-frizzed up hair. “This is your fault, you know.”

Cheth gasped, as theatrical as he could make it, because there was no way in hell he was going to admit to her that he felt bad about any of this. “My fault ?”

“You got me drunk!” She passed a hand through her hair, only succeeding in making more of a mess of it. “You knew I already wasn’t thinking straight!”

Cheth swallowed a mouthful. “That’s right, you were thinking pretty gay last night.”

Her face turned an amusing shade of red, and she stomped right back out of her chair— only making it three steps before remembering there was nowhere to storm off to. 

“Look, it’s true that you should’ve told your mom where you were going, but that’s not my fault.” He was feeling horrendously guilty. Just imagining what went through her poor mother’s head made him feel sick. Instead of showing it, though, he snickered. “You’re not five anymore.” 

Phaedra looked like she was about three seconds from throttling him. She crossed her arms, clutching the fabric of her sleeves. “At least you could’ve called me a taxi. You brought me back to your bedroom , you pervert.”

Alright yeah he understood why she was put off by that part. Setting the fork and knife down, he raised his palms in a surrender. “Drunk me was on autopilot to get me home. Force of habit. My bad, I don’t usually do that on the first date.”

Strike. She spluttered. Anger gurgled and choked on her embarrassment. “T-That was not a date!” She even took another step back, as if the mere mention of the idea burned her.

Rude.

Cheth didn’t let that thought show, though. Instead, the very picture of smugness, he shook his head with a grin. “Goodness, so you want to go on a proper date. So her Majesty has high standards, I see.”

The tomato princess made some unintelligible sound against the hands she pressed against her face.

Masterful. For that little scene, Cheth felt very satisfied with himself. Oh, she was as fun to mess with in real life as she was online… more, even: now he had front row seats to her expressions of despair and frustration. Excellent distraction.

Cheth shouldn’t tease her to death, though. She had places to get to. “Princess,” he commented sagely, taking pity on her, “eat your pancakes while they’re warm.”

The girl lifted a finger in the air and opened her mouth to argue, but, perhaps realizing how hungry she really was, thought better of it and sat down. Grabbed the knife. He scooted away, just in case.

Phaedra opened the pot of strawberry jam with a vengeance, smothering the fried batter with crimson deliciousness; only then did she take a fork to her carnage. 

Cheth preferred not to watch. He guessed with high confidence that she was pretending the hasty breakfast she was shredding was his smug face.

Somewhere else, a mother stared at the phone in her hand, feeling lost and alone. She let out a sigh. A relieved one, but also so, so tired.

She tapped in another number. The phone rang on the other side.

“Hallie? Oh… it’s you, Lani. Is she not home?”

She paused for a moment.

“I see… Yes, good news. She was just with a friend. She’s alright. Thank you.”

…

“I don’t know him, no. He said they’d met online…”

The pause, this time, was washed clean of relief.

“You don’t know either?”

Phaedra and Cheth ate in tense silence, up until the sound of bubbling water caught the host’s attention. He had completely forgotten the stove was on.

Would she tear his eyes out if he spoke any more? Being raised alongside his twin sister made him wary of women’s nails, but he figured he could afford one more shenanigan, if only in the name of his electricity bill.

The host cleared his throat. “Water’s boiling. Turns out I don’t have any tea, do you just want your hot water?”

—but rather than lashing out again, Phaedra rolled her eyes and stood abruptly. Her chair screeched in protest. “I have some teabags. Find me a mug or a cup,” she commanded, off to retrieve her purse. A woman on a mission.

So bossy.

Bossy, but less hostile. A glance at her plate revealed that she had devoured about half her pancakes. Less hangry, probably.

Phaedra soon came back with two teabags. Wow, she really did carry those around. Did she make a habit of it or had she bought some by coincidence? No, nobody would stash emergency tea party supplies in their purse, right?

Cheth figured they were probably expensive, good quality stuff, but he didn’t know anything about tea, so he just slid her mug onto the counter. Figure it out, princess.

He heard Phaedra drop one of her teabags into the mug, the sound of water being poured. Rich girls and their tea. At least she knew how to make it herself… His attention circled back to his food. 

Cheth chewed on his pancake morosely, having lost interest in the beverage, and so his enemy’s next move caught him completely off guard. A mumble floated over to his ears. 

“You can have some too. If you want.” His eyes snapped up. She wasn’t looking directly at him, keeping her gaze riveted to the mug like she couldn’t bear to meet his. “Maybe it’ll help the hangover.”

She held out the second teabag. A minute twitch betrayed Cheth’s poker face. Was this a peace offering? Balancing out their breakfast contributions? The thoughtless offer of a rich princess with a crush?

Cheth grabbed a second mug, and in went the bag. She poured the water for him; he watched it change color, and she told him when to take the teabag out, depending on how strong he wanted his drink.

They let his tea cool until it wasn’t scalding.

The hostilities simmered down with the tea, and, fascinated, Cheth watched a new Phaedra bloom right before his eyes. He had seen her cry, he had seen her dazed and drunk, he had seen her miserable, agitated, wrathful. Lost in her little world of leaves and steam, she smiled at nothing; rather than a grouchy stray cat, she looked more like a disheveled angel.

Cheth didn’t care much for the taste, but she was right, it did help the hangover.

Once they were done dealing with being famished, they put the dishes away together, and then came the time of grand decisions: namely, taming Phaedra’s hair.

“I can brush it for you,” Cheth offered, hands twitching slightly from the urge to grab a comb. He wasn’t actually being generous. For all that it was a mess from sleep and humidity at the moment, Phaedra’s hair reminded him of one of those little girl’s hairdresser dolls. 

(His sister had always insisted on brushing hers into spikes for some reason. He was never allowed to touch her toys.)

“I can do it myself,” Phaedra countered. 

“Of course,” Cheth acquiesced, “but this is my house and I want to do it. I fed you, please let me doll you up a bit.”

His guest grinded her teeth. “I already said no cosplay.”

“No cosplay! Just normal hairstyles? Mine’s too straight to do anything fancy with. Hair-dye doesn’t work great with black roots, either. Oh, would you like blue hair? You’d look great with blue hair.”

Arms crossed in a clear banner of rejection, Phaedra didn’t budge. “Lord help me if you touch my hair I’ll force feed you the comb.”

Urgh. Fine. Cheth pouted. “At least let me do your makeup. I’m very good.”

Since he retreated from one particular battle, the young woman’s arms and guard slacked. She at least entertained the idea. “Right. You were wearing some yesterday.”

“And I’m wearing some right now.” 

Cheth finger gunned in her direction, but Phaedra seemed curious rather than weary of his antics this time. She tiptoed up, bringing their faces as close as their height difference would permit. “You are. I didn’t even realize. No wonder I didn’t recognize you right away, you changed your face shape.”

Cheth winked. “As I said, I’m very good. Practice makes perfect, princess.” He’d always had a lot of fun with it, dating back to his theater kid days. There was something intimate about his classmates trusting him with their looks, closing their eyes while he painted their skin, allowing his touch; there was a magic at play when they let him turn them into someone else.

Phaedra sighed. “If you stop making passes at my hair I’ll let you do my makeup.”

For real? “Deal.” He clapped and, without further ado (or giving her a moment to change her mind) Cheth pushed her into the bathroom. He grabbed a chair and sat her down in front of the mirror; handed her a comb while he dug through his supplies.

(There were a lot, because he was a hoarder, and also just one person. But today he wasn’t just one person, so, maybe, rather than keep pushing her away, he was going to enjoy it.)

Phaedra waited in the hallway, contemplating the plaster wall and the letter boxes while Cheth peered out into the street. Recon, he’d said.

Neither the walls nor the letter boxes were interesting, but there was no mirror, so she couldn’t look at her “dolled up” face right now. At most, she caught glimpses in shiny locks here and there. Was she disappointed or glad? Both? This morning had been surreal from its sudden start to its sluggishly approaching finish. Hah. Weirdest sleepover ever. 

She hadn’t had a proper sleepover in a few years… Was Lani the only one she had done that with… The times she’d slept in her parents’ “borrowed” car felt similar, but she’d been alone then.

Phaedra found it quite difficult to ignore that she wasn't alone now. Cheth was such a deeply frustrating person! He was arrogant, dramatic, and had an impish streak that made him hard to trust. Even when he seemed to mean well, she couldn’t help second guessing his words, whether for a hidden prank or a snide double meaning. 

In a word, he was quite awful, but she usually spent her days trudging through mental sludge, drowning in a mire of dark thoughts. In fact, left alone in the hallway, she could feel herself slowly sinking again, mud rising to her ankles…

…but all morning, Cheth needled her and kept her attention in such a way that she had simply found no time to mope. Deep in her heart she felt just the tiniest sliver of gratefulness, so she was willing to indulge the… person. Not that she’d let him know.

Cheth came back inside and bowed, holding the door open. “All clear, princess.” Phaedra rolled her eyes. Nevermind, I hate him. 

“—but if we do see a paparazzi we can scare them with our matching purple eyeshadow.”

Against her better judgment, the ghost of a snicker cracked between her teeth like popping candy.

Cheth didn’t know where she lived, but he did know the neighborhood, so he could provide some directions. Very soon, she began to recognize the street names and took the lead. Easy. “Well… you can go home, I’ll figure it out from here.”

“I promised I’d walk you there.”

She rolled her eyes. So she wouldn’t be alone to ruminate. “Fine then.”

If she was more honest, she’d thank him.

They didn’t bump into anyone weird. Perhaps even journalists had Sundays off, or they’d lost her entirely, the two of them strolled around without much fuss. There was no need to hurry. Before noon, she’d said— their pace was steady and slow. 

Their argument was not.

The two of them may have successfully bumbled into a ceasefire after sharing tea, but all dams broke loose when, ten minutes in, they circled back to the topic they had by far discussed the most.

“It’s your headcanon , you can’t force me to believe it.”

“You have eyes! It’s right there in the subtext!”

As the lunatics kept bickering, a car slowed to a stop beside them. Phaedra tensed and took a step to the side, away; by contrast, Cheth slid himself between the vehicle and her.

Their precautions were pointless, however. The car window slid down, revealing an old man with a bright, friendly smile, not a bloodsucker. “Youngsters?”

Cheth wasn’t quite as much of a youngster as Phaedra, but that didn’t matter— she recognized the man. “Cal, you came to pick me up? Did Mom make you?” 

“Ah, I thought you might appreciate a friendly ear before you make it back home… but I see you are already in good company.”

Well…

Phaedra would have expected this to be Cheth’s cue to leave, but the old man gestured towards her companion with a little flourish, leaving the car to open the door to the backseats. A true gentleman.

Cheth was staring silently, but not at Cal’s face. He accepted the invitation, distracted (fascinated?) by Cal’s hands; they were adorned with leaves and vines, tattoos paler than his tan skin, so perhaps that was why.

Phaedra was still standing on the roadside, hesitating. “Let us meet your new friend. Hasn't it been a long time since we’ve had a new face over?” Cal’s lips were half obscured by his beard, but you could always tell when he smiled. His smiles always reached his eyes. “Come on in, don’t be shy.”

And that was how two hooligans found themselves strapped on both ends of the backseats, awkwardly staring out opposite windows. Cal drove away, either oblivious or tactfully ignoring the tension.

“So, young man, what do you like to do with your time?”

Phaedra sneakily stared at the other passenger, flipped and tense as he was reflected in the glass. It suddenly occurred to her that Cheth wasn’t really a young man. Did Cheth mind being called that? He didn’t react negatively, but he was also stubbornly fixated on his window, so his expression was hard to read. 

“I work in a store.” A clipped, somewhat cautious answer. 

“So you enjoy your job?”

“I have interesting customers.”

“Those do tend to make good stories, don’t they?” 

Rather than the kind of grandparent who commanded respect through discipline, Cal had a knack for feeling non-threatening, inviting others in. Even focused on driving, his voice was low and soothing. If anyone could tame the abrasive Cheth, it was probably him, right? Phaedra had seen him with small animals on the estate numerous times… Squirrels ate nuts out of his hands, birds fearlessly landed on him. If she didn’t know any better she would conjecture that his true identity was that of a disney princess.

She stayed silent throughout most of the drive. Cheth didn’t tease like he did with her, but she couldn’t imagine it was because he respected his elders. He acted almost shy? He was reluctant to elaborate on what kind of store he worked in, and he didn’t mention his little double act, but he let Cal’s questions unravel a few anecdotes until he was comfortable enough to ask questions back.

“So… Do you drive her to town every time?” 

“Aha, no. Miss Philemon needs no chauffeurs. She used to drive herself around a little too much, perhaps.”

Cheth’s eyebrows shot up. “You parked overnight?”

Phaedra shook her head minutely. “No, I just walked to the cafe yesterday.”

Uncomprehending, Cheth gestured at the car they were currently sitting in. “Then why drive back?”

Phaedra shrugged. “Faster? We’re almost there.”

Cheth mumbled something like stupid rich people, never think of the environment .

Cal left them in front of the gate to Phaedra’s home, which was a giant manor with a giant garden hidden behind a giant fence, because of course it was. 

She… didn’t look too good, now that going home was looming over her. Perhaps the guilt was catching up to her.

“Your grandpa’s cool,” Cheth tried as a distraction.

Phaedra grimaced. “He is, but he’s not mine, he’s my ex’s grandfather.”

“Oh. Yikes. You should’ve taken him in the divorce.” 

She kicked him in the shin like he deserved, but lightly enough that he thought she didn’t hate the joke.

“Let’s go, princess,” Cheth declared. “I told her I’d walk you home, I’ll keep stalking you a while longer.” 

The fence opened by itself when they approached, (well, when Phaedra got close enough for the camera to recognize her), which felt entirely unnecessary. There was, however, no one in sight when they stepped into the garden. Cheth spotted parking spaces, but there were no cars either. The lawn was well-maintained, but he could hear no birds. Creepy.

“So.” Phaedra sighed. “My mom is… a little panicky. Don’t do anything weird.” 

He had no intention of causing further grief to a widowed mother. “O ye of so little faith.”

“I mean it.”

“No flirting with your mom, got it.”

“ Ew. Definitely none of that.” She raised a hand threateningly, but lost her momentum halfway. The closer she walked home, the less energy she had, and the lower her head hung. “Don’t mention how we know each other either. Or crossdressing. I don’t know how she’d take that.”

Rationally, he knew she meant it as advice, but that one stung a bit.

They slowed to a stop in front of the door. Phaedra took a deep breath, sighed, and rang the doorbell, and almost immediately, the door cracked open.

“Mom, I’m home.”

Daphne Philemon was an exceedingly short woman. He’d seen her on TV, but he had a hard time recognizing her. She had more energy… before, much like her daughter, and she hovered behind the door, as if afraid to open it fully. Was that his fault? He stepped back, gave them space, kept a respectful distance. He was well-aware that he was rocking the big scary goth look next to her somewhat disheveled daughter. Of course she would be nervous.

The daughter didn’t speak. Now that he was behind her, he couldn’t tell what kind of face she was making. You could slice this tension with a sword. Oh this was worse than third wheeling actually.

“Mom. Meet Cheth. He’s… err, he looks a little intimidating but he’s a decent guy. Scared off some of those journalists for me. And let me sleep over! He’s the one you had on the phone.”

Cheth waved, grinning his best smile. Daphne did not look reassured whatsoever. With a tiny, choked-out voice, the matriarch of the Philemon family asked, “Were you two safe last night?”

Phaedra nodded frantically. “Yes! Yes! Everything was good! No unsafe activities. We even had breakfast together.”

Lady Daphne made a slightly scrunched up face. “Alright… As long as it was… good. I don’t need the details. You’re home, that's all that matters.” She opened the door a crack more and greeted him. “It’s nice to meet you… Cheth. Thank you for looking after my daughter.”

Hm? Her tone was… weird. Her words were polite, but her tone was ice cold. “Nice to meet you, ma’am.” He kept staring, trying to figure her out. It took him a few seconds.

Oh. Ohhh . There was a misunderstanding.

Phaedra was oblivious, and so as soon as mother and daughter resumed their conversation, Cheth turned away and grinned like Christmas came early, all teeth on display. His shoulders shuddered. He almost couldn’t keep his laughter under control. Almost. He was a theater kid. He could endure it. Probably.

“Are you alright?”

Cheth forced his expression back to something more socially acceptable and cleared his throat. “Totally fine.”

The young woman raised a dubitative eyebrow at him, but she didn’t challenge him. Instead, she gently pushed the door, and Daphne let her in, beckoning him along. 

Now he understood why she had kept it nearly closed.

As soon as she was in sight, Phaedra was attacked. Massive white, fluffy projectiles slammed into her and Cheth jumped, startled, but unlike her rattled reaction with the closet incident, she took it with aplomb, as if she had expected this.

Bowf!

Barking. So much barking. Those were dogs. Samoyeds, if he had his breeds straight. So many of them. So many dogs. They’d been quiet before, but now that they’d spotted her, they crowded Phaedra, woofing and whining for her attention, putting their paws up on her thighs, sniffing her clothes. Cheth picked out the white balls of fluff, counting on his fingers. “You have… one, two… six dogs?”

“Seven.”

“You have SEVEN DOGS?” 

Phaedra wrapped her arms around one of the excited marshmallows. “That’s right. They’re all siblings.” When she rose, the Samoyed didn’t squirm, it only panted in her hold, tail wagging so quickly it blurred. “This is Katja, a very good girl.”

Cheth made a face. “There is no way you can tell which is which. These dogs are identical.”

Phaedra smirked. “Bet. Check the tag on her collar.”

He squinted and hesitantly reached into the fluff, having no idea where the neck actually was. It took him a moment to feel the tag, but once he’d parted the fur, he couldn’t deny the name was correct.

“Bowf!” Phaedra dropped her in his arms, and so he began to pet her. Pant pant. What a good girl. The other dogs barked louder, jealous of the attention. 

That could be a fluke. Maybe all the nametags said Katja! Cheth still refused to acknowledge Phaedra. “No way you can tell all of them apart. You got lucky.”

“Oh yeah?” Phaedra clicked her tongue. “Everyone. Sit.”

Surprisingly, the dogs obeyed immediately. Their tails thumped against the floor, but they didn’t move, identical fluffy butts sticking to the ground. Phaedra named them all, and then she confidently showed him their tags, one by one, and she was right every time.

Cheth’s mouth gaped open. He only closed it when Katja nudged at him, whining for more pets. Yes my lady. Scritches.

Reluctantly, Cheth admitted his defeat. “Useless skill, but impressive.”

Phaedra poked her tongue at him, the cheeky brat.

“Dear, could you take the dogs out to the back?” Daphne was still there. Cheth completely forgot about her! “I just came back from Mass, I haven’t had time yet.”

“Mass— Oh. Today’s Sunday. I missed it.” Phaedra’s face fell, but she shook herself and cleared her throat. “Y-Yeah. Of course. Who wants to have a run in the yard?” That was his cue to let the dog in his arms down, then. Katja joined her siblings on the floor and followed Phaedra out… leaving Cheth alone with her mother. 

That was the actress’s goal, of course. He turned towards her, sliding on his serious face. He was prepared to be threatened over the mess, or told to cut all contact, which would be quite fair all things considered. He was certain she could tell that he was not a good influence.

“I haven’t seen her this lively in… so long.”

Cheth’s thoughts blanked out. Daphne stepped closer to him, but she was short, shorter even than her daughter, and he could only see the top of her head.

“Thank you.  You… aren’t exactly… her usual kind of friend…” Daphne struggled to put we don’t usually hang out with poor people, much less goths politely, but he waved her off since he didn’t really care. “I appreciate that you kept your promise and walked her home. You’re welcome to come back anytime.”

She craned her neck to look at him properly. In any other situation, it would be funny, but her eyes were shiny with tears and Cheth felt like his guts had been turned to stone.

“Thank you, ma’am.”

“Would you… keep looking after her? Life has been… such a nightmare. I hadn’t seen her joke around in so long. I don’t know what to do anymore…” She chuckled, the broken sound of one who tries to clear grief from their throat. “You’ve been more successful than me, at least.”

Oh, oh no. He didn’t want to disappoint her, but he wasn’t a good influence, he was barely functional as an adult. Phaedra might have a silly crush on him, but it wasn’t as if she actually liked him as a person, either! They didn’t even get along! What the hell could he do that a loving mother couldn’t?

“I’ll try,” Cheth promised, bitter, bitter, bitter.

Phaedra was still in the backyard, throwing tennis balls at her dogs. They exercised more trying to snatch the ball from one another than actually running after it, but it seemed all in good fun for the puppers and their big sister.

“You’re still here?” She turned to him, surprised.

Look after her… look after her…

Cheth leaned down to whisper into Phaedra’s ear. “Your mother thinks I’m your new boyfriend.” Oh, her scream was likely loud enough to damage his eardrums, but her blushing face was so, so worth it.

She promptly kicked him out of the estate, though.

Chapter Text

The spring of her senior year, Phaedra Philemon sprained her ankle. Because of this, she had to sit out of sports for a few weeks. 

She laughed off the inconvenient incident; while she was consigned to the bench in gym class, she continued to hobble around at the fencing club, crutches waved menacingly at whoever argued that she should be resting. She couldn’t fight, but she could advise. She knew where the supplies were. She wasn’t useless!

Her best friends had their own clubs to go to, but, luckily, her boyfriend didn’t, and so he was free to stay next to her and admonish her to sit the hell still before she sprained it worse.

“Don’t be stupid,” he’d said.

Seeing them finally seated when he walked past them, the coach thanked Silas for taming the enthusiasm of his rebellious, high-profile student. To Phaedra, the teacher gave an apologetic speech, citing health concerns he would be liable for if she hurt herself again— and then he left to supervise the warmups, and the two of them were left alone together.

Phaedra had a stiff smile on her face, but she remained seated next to Silas without further protesting.

They were both right— yes, Silas was right, even if he was blunt about it— he cared, so he wanted her healthy and happy, and she was being stupid. She was being reckless. She should just watch the warmups quietly. And she was handed time with her boyfriend on a silver platter! Sure, she couldn’t participate in her favorite club, but she could hang out with Silas instead. Wouldn’t it be nice to spend time together alone? She should be happy, especially since he wasn’t too big on going on dates.

Yuuup. She should be happy. Except she was not. Because she was going to be completely out of practice just before the competition, and this was senior year, so she’d never get to participate again, and—

Phaedra sighed, leaning against the wall.

“If you’re bored we could go home,” Silas pointed out. He’d been on his phone for the past ten minutes, looking utterly bored himself. His free hand twitched. 

For a moment Phaedra thought he was about to hold hers; she was mistaken. He raised it, all fingers folded besides the index as he brightened up with an eureka. “I could come over to your house. Weather’s nice enough to swim in the pool.”

“I can’t swim with bandages on,” Phaedra pointed out. She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. Did he already forget her injury? Come on.

“Well I can. Could still hang out. Didn’t Lani take you swimsuit shopping?” He poked her shoulder with a grin. “I wanna see.”

She immediately flushed and had to look away, heart pounding, repressing a nervous smile. God he could be forward.

The other, non-injured students were lined up, taking turns to practice at the center of the room. Two girls she didn’t know well had their turn now, juniors who’d joined at the beginning of the year. Because of the upcoming competition, Phaedra had mostly focused on her own training, but she’d still given them pointers a couple of times, and she could see they’d both improved quite a lot since the last time she’d paid attention.

Their movements were focused, no longer the wild unpredictable swings of a newbie, and so their spar was almost a dance, dodging and blocking back and forth without a clear winner. You could tell they knew each other well, they must have practiced together a lot.

“Time’s up!” The coach called out, and they froze. Phaedra would bet they’d been in the zone, their own little world. A cheeky grin found its way to her lips. “Good work,” the teacher commented. The girls removed their helmets, breathless, joyful, and sauntered off their improvised stage hand in hand. Good kids.

“Phae?” Silas called out. “You listening?”

“Yes,” the teenage girl lied, as she had been entirely too absorbed to hear a single word he said.

“No you weren’t.” Her head snapped to him. Her boyfriend was frowning, and he rolled his eyes as soon as their gazes met. He sure as heck didn’t believe her.

He really hated it when she lied to him, so she shrank on herself and admitted the truth. “…I wasn’t listening. Sorry. What did you say?”

“Nevermind, it wasn’t important.” Oh no, now he was moody— but his expression cleared up as his eyes fell on the two girls she’d been watching. Like an unpredictable weather vane. “Hey, I know those girls.”

“You do?” He was sporting a grin, but his tone was oddly condescending. It felt like more of a sneer.

He snapped his fingers. “They’re lesbians. Look. They’re still holding hands.”

Phaedra’s eyebrows shot up to her hairline. What? “You can’t say that. They’re what, fifteen?”

“Bet they’ll kiss if they think no one’s watching.”

A flush was now rushing to her cheeks. “Don’t be a pervert,” she admonished, but Silas only rolled his eyes.

“Come on, I’m not saying I want to watch their make out session. Relax a little.” He elbowed her in the ribs, not hard enough to hurt, just to jostle. “You, though. You were staring hard at them. You into it?”

“I was watching them fight !” Phaedra’s voice was growing shrill, but she kept the volume low, terrified that the other students would overhear this insane conversation. How did it spiral out of her control so quickly?

“But now you’re not watching anymore, and until their turn you were paying attention to me ,” Silas rightfully pointed out. “What’s so special about those two, uh? I’m a healthy straight guy and I wasn’t imagining anything until you made me bring it up.” He snickered and poked her nose. “ You’re the pervert here.”

Phaedra was so mortified she couldn’t even formulate a response— she hadn’t imagined anything weird , she was just—

“Makes sense that you’re into this, in hindsight,” the young man continued. What? What did she do that would make him say that? Panicking, the teenage girl tried to remember some kind of incident, but he cut her thoughts short.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. I still like you.” 

Phaedra didn’t know why, but upon hearing those kind words, her ribcage felt like it’d trapped a storm.

Chapter Text

Phaedra wandered back inside the house late in the afternoon, as the sun began to drop low in the sky. August still gave them loads of daylight, but, frankly, she was exhausted. She’d stopped exercising months ago, and barely came out of her room now… the dogs had her out of breath just from running around to throw their balls back.

She had fun, though. She’d missed doing this. They’d missed playing with her too, she thought. She stepped inside with a smile on her face, sweaty and overly warm. She found her mom smiling too.

“Are you hungry yet, Phae?”

“Oh. Yeah, I skipped lunch.”

“Then we’ll have an early dinner,” Daphne said. “What would you like? What if we ordered something?” 

Her mother must have been so stressed waiting for a runaway daughter, Phaedra had assumed she was going to be yelled at, but she was being pampered instead. Daphne ordered a pizza to share— they never ate pizza, too bad for their health, Mom said— and then they ate cake for dessert. Decadent, utterly decadent.

It was the worst, greasiest, sweetest meal their fancy modern kitchen had ever seen. It was also the best.

They cleaned up the table together, chatting about nothing while the dogs did their absolute best to trip them and break some plates. Once they were done, Phaedra glanced outside and found the sky dark and blue, the barest of golden glows lingering just above the trees. She thought to herself that it was a lovely sight.

Time went by so much faster when you had fun. All afternoon, she hadn’t felt the urge to check her phone even once. She probably had a ton of posts to go through… but she didn’t really want to see them, right now. She felt good in the present.

The family of two (or perhaps nine, counting the canine army sauntering around) sat together on the sofa. They turned the TV on, at low volume, just to have an excuse to linger in the living room. 

Phaedra couldn’t think of anything to say. Daphne didn’t speak, either. The evening was so quiet. Slowly, the glow of happiness drained from the young woman’s breath.

“Are you tired?” her mom fretted. Had she seen something unusual in her daughter’s expression? “Maybe you should sleep early.”

Right. She should. Phaedra rubbed her eye. “Yeah. Good night.” She stood abruptly and made her way to the stairs.

The dogs followed her, barking. They knew they weren’t allowed up. She petted each of them, whispering good night, but they didn’t want to let her go. They kept pawing at her, whining.

“I need to rest,” she explained. “I’m tired.”

Sad barks punctuated her words, but she climbed upstairs without looking back. In her exhaustion, she swayed and collapsed onto her bed, groaning. She just barely dodged her platoon of plushies.

Ah, she should change into pajamas…

She pulled her shirt off, and only then did she remember it wasn’t hers. She’d have to return Cheth’s outfit later… right, she should also clean off the makeup…

Against her deep-seated wishes to surrender to Morpheus’s arms, she rose again and trudged to her bathroom. The mirror informed her that Cheth’s clothes were covered in dog fur. Since she’d also rubbed her face, the purple over her eyes was but a shadow of its former self.

It had been a long time since she’d felt a little pretty, though.

Phaedra cleaned her face, threw the clothes into her dirty laundry hamper, and crawled back under her covers. Pajamas… no… that was beyond her energy right now. Her blanket was warm enough… soft, almost silky, and the mattress fit her like a nest, remembering her shape. Her head could sink into her pillow, not like Cheth’s hard clump of cotton at all. 

She stared at the ceiling.

Sleep didn’t come. Instead, memories of the day began to play back to her. Her embarrassing outburst when her host opened the bedroom door. Cheth’s confusing transformation. The filthy feeling that came with sleeping with all your clothes on. Navigating a stranger’s bathroom, feeling both clean and not, basked in an alien scent. The phone call— her mom so frantic and scared because she was so stupid — Cheth bothering her until she let him touch her face— Cal driving them home through an awkward, stilted conversation— 

The memories all swirled behind her eyeballs, nipping at her brain. 

Today was a good day. She had thought so minutes ago, but now she couldn’t even remember the silver linings anymore. Goodness, she’d even kicked Cheth out after everything he’d done for her— he watched out for her, let her hide in his shop, let her sleep over instead of ditching her on the street in the middle of the night, fed her, ensured she made it home okay the next morning— and how did she thank him?

Phaedra yelled at him and pushed him out the gate. What kind of entitled brat did she think she was? She was beyond parody!

He didn’t even like her. They’d been fighting for months, he’d only heard her out because he liked gossiping, and he’d stepped in for her, because… 

…because he was a decent person. He saw someone in trouble and couldn’t let that stand, and he treated her with compassion.

What a joke. What a joke! Certainly he was a much better person than she was. By comparison, Phaedra was pathetic. Would she have stepped in for a complete stranger? Led them to her house? Shared a room and a bed— even if she had, Phaedra had the space to spare, and he didn’t.

And yet, she’d done nothing but impose and jerk him around, and he knew she liked him too! What kind of asshole used and abused their crush like that? She was no better than Silas!

Phaedra dug her fingers in her hair, curling until a fetal position. She was such an idiot. She’d made everyone around her suffer, Mom, Cheth, even the dogs worried about her, and then she had the gall to call it a good day. She was the worst. The absolute worst.

Phaedra sobbed under her covers, hoping that her mother wouldn’t overhear the noise.

(September 1st)

??? (10:06)

Guess who

Phaedra (13:56)

Lani?

??? (13:57)

Umm

No

Guess again

Phaedra (14:34)

why

??? (14:35)

Don’t you like a little whimsy in your life

[New contact created]

Phaedra (14:35)

im tired

going back to sleep, cheth

Cheth (14:35)

You’re not even going to ask how I got your number?

Phaedra (14:36)

mom gave it to you?

Cheth (14:36)

Ok yes

Phaedra (14:38)

good night

Cheth (14:39)

How late did you stay up???

“Phae?”

Daphne knocked before entering her daughter’s bedroom, but there was nothing to see. The blinds were closed. Her daughter was rotting in bed, as was her habit— sometimes she came out on her own, but today was not one of those days. She’d thought, after yesterday, that perhaps she was feeling better…

“Are you planning to get out of bed today?”

“…no.”

“Don’t you want to play with the dogs again? You were having so much fun yesterday…”

“Tired.”

“Oh.”

Silence.

“Then… I’ll bring you something to eat, okay? You rest up.”

(September 3rd)

Cheth (09:45)

Good morning!!!

There is literally nothing to do at work

Everyone is going back to school 

Aaaaaaaaaaaa

I’m so bored

Are you still asleep

Cheth (13:45)

Goodness I’m so HUNGRY

Cheth (15:12)

Would you mind if I used your pool

Phaedra (16:15)

yes

Cheth (17:36)

Cool thanks can you open the gates I’ve got my swimsuit on and everything

Phaedra (17:36)

public indecency?

Cheth (17:37)

Come on I’m already here

You can’t strand my magnificent self on the sidewalk

I need my beauty water like you need your beauty sleep

I miss the sea so bad Phaedra

This landlocked life is so depressing

Phaedra (17:37)

the gate’s open why are you still texting

Cheth (17:38)

Not coming down to greet me?

Phaedra (17:38)

no

I told Cal not to go near the pool when you’re there

no one will bother you

Cheth (17:38)

Come on, at least look out your window

Wave

Say hi

There, see

Hi Phaedra!

Worth it. Right?

Do you like this swimsuit 

Phaedra?

Phaedra???

(September 6th)

“Good morning!”

The smile on her mother’s face made her feel both happy and sad. Phaedra waved for all reply, leaning against the bathroom door. She knew she looked like a mess. Felt like one, too.

Daphne wasn’t put off by the silence. “You’re up early. Plans?”

“Just… felt dirty.” Phaedra’s throat felt raw and dry, and her tongue tasted terrible, making it more difficult to speak. “I’m going to shower.”

“Some hot water will do you some good. I have to go, but I’ll see you soon, alright? Cal is with the dogs in the yard, so you won’t be alone. You can reheat lasagna for lunch, it’s in the fridge.”

Phaedra nodded. As she watched her mother saunter away, her phone hung limply in her hand. 

Cheth (10:51)

I’m soooo bored

Entertain me

How are you doing 

She brought it up to type a reply.

Phaedra (11:03)

got out of bed today

Cheth (11:04)

!!!!

Congratulations to the starfish

Phaedra (11:04)

shut

I’m trying to be better about it

can’t stay depressed forever can I

Cheth (11:05)

Were you staying in bed all day??

Goodness I wish

I’d lose my job

Phaedra (11:05)

dropped out of college anyway

Cheth (11:06)

you too??????

Phaedra (11:06)

I’ll keep going later!

they said I should take a break

I was seeing a therapist since.

you know

gave me a note

Cheth (11:07)

That does explain how much free time you’ve been having to reply to every single one of my headcanon posts when the rest of the world dies in September…

Phaedra (11:07)

you could just block me 

unlike some people

I don’t have infinite sockpuppets

Cheth (11:08)

Nah

Phaedra (11:10)

nah?

Cheth (11:10)

I wouldn’t be talking to you if I didn’t enjoy it at least a little bit

You’re fun to bully ✨ 

Dummy

Phaedra (11:11)

oh

right

don’t call me a dummy

(September 7th)

“Phaedra! I haven’t seen you in so long!”

On the threshold of the church, a young woman was promptly squashed into a hug. “H-Hi. Sorry.” Indeed. She had slept through Mass the previous week, and guilt had gnawed through her like a worm gutting an apple. So there she was— early, even. She’d felt good about it when she woke up, washed her face and put on nice clean clothes, but the pit in her stomach had grown deeper, heavier the closer she came to the building.

Blind, Halea ruffled her goddaughter’s hair. “It’s so good to see you. Take a seat. Do you want to stay after the service? We could eat lunch together.”

For seemingly no reason at all, panic clawed at Phaedra’s throat. “I— have plans. Sorry.” Lies lies lies lies lies. Why did she lie? Now Halea would be disappointed. Why did she lie in church ? What kind of freak—

She felt hot and cold at the same time. Maybe she was sick.

“That’s alright. You have been going through a lot… it is a blessing to hear that you are finding your place again.” Halea had known her all her life, yet she didn’t see through Phaedra’s silent distress at all. “I heard from Daphie that you made a new friend, is that right?”

Were they even friends? Cheth had texted her nonsense every day since that day, even when she didn’t reply. Was that friendship or harassment?

(She was a bad friend anyway.)

“Something like that,” she answered vaguely, because she didn’t want to leave her godmother hanging.

“A kind young man, I heard.” There was no judgment in Halea’s tone, but the guilt constricted the poor girl’s lungs further. Even that was a lie. “You should introduce him to Lani soon! I know she’s been terribly busy… but she misses you a lot.”

More like Phaedra had pushed her and Irving away until they stopped calling her at all. (They were probably better off not dealing with her mess, anyway.) More like she was incapable of not messing up every single one of her relationships. Her chest hurt, and her throat was so tight that it made it hard to breathe, but her pain was invisible. Halea’s smile never wavered.

Phaedra did try to reply, but she found her voice gone, so she only nodded. Awkwardly, the young woman backstepped further into the church, waving with a stiff smile.

Thankfully, Halea didn’t find her rude. “Right, take your seat, Phae. I’ll see you later.”

The young woman ran away. Church was supposed to be a safe space. Once Mass started, no one talked to her there. Even if it wasn’t her room, even if God thought she was disgusting, she had always felt protected within these stone walls. It didn’t even matter if she couldn’t hear a single word of the sermons. For years and years and years, this place had filled her with a sense of peace and belonging and wonder…

…but now, all that filled her brain was pain and guilt and self-hatred. Church was no comfort at all. The wooden benches were just stiff and cold. Trapped in a whirlpool, she was drowning alone, unable to tell which way she was supposed to swim to breach the horizon line.

I’m in public. Get a grip. Halea’s right there, what if she sees me crying?

Phaedra’s nails dug into her palm, physical pain just barely enough of an anchor for the tears to stay put. When Phaedra waved Halea goodbye, an hour later, unable to recall a single word that had been said— she hid her bloody hand behind her back.

(September 9th)

Cheth (8:34)

Gooood morning sunshine

Cheth (12:23)

Coming over tomorrow

That is not a question

Today was horrible

You know what a Karen is?

Imagine a Goth Karen

Actually, no.

You Don’t want to imagine a Goth Karen

Just remember Goth Karen is the worst

I need Pool Time

May the water absorb my grief and turn it into bubbles

Cheth (18:54)

Didd you niot see that post @opinionswarning made

Thougt you wiuld have replid by npw

Cheth (20:08)

OK 

SO

Your CLEARLY just ignorng me

Phaedra (23:27)

are you drunk?? 

Cheth (23:33)

Nooooooooooo

Yes

Maybe

Do I gotbe druink for you to not ignote me :(((((

Phaedra (23:34)

sorry

tired

slept all day

Cheth (23:35)

Oh shot ok

Rest uppp

(September 10th)

Cheth (07:35)

EWWW HANGOVER

OW OW OW

LIGHT MY ENEMY

Good morning.

Cheth (12:46)

[Cheth sent a picture]

CAT!!!

Cheth (18:22)

Just so you know your mom let me in

Could’ve told me she was home today

Dw I was clothed lol

No pool time :/

Cheth (18:34)

She wants me to stay for dinner

Don’t you want to come down?

Cheth (18:35)

You trust me alone with your mom?

What if she’s taken by my dastardly charm uh

What if your dogs start liking me more than you

Cheth (19:01)

Hey

Phaedra

I think your mom’s pretty concerned

You haven’t left your bed at all?

Do you want to talk about what’s going on?

Just you and me?

I won’t tell her if you don’t want me to

Phaedra (19:34)

just go home

Cheth (19:35)

…ok.

(September 11th)

Cheth (08:32)

Hi

Cheth (10:45)

Boooooored

Also hungry

Did you see the leaks

Announcement next month??

Spinoff books maybe

Cheth (17:34)

You should enjoy your pool while it’s still warm

I’m having a greaaaat time

Your mom is so nice when she heard I like to swim she registered me in your fancy gate system. I ain’t need no key

Well I can’t actually swim while she’s there anyway 

But now YOU have no power over me

I’m the pool king

Regardless I will allow you to keep me company

Pspspspsp

Phaedra (17:35)

I am not stepping out while you’re in a bikini

Cheth (17:35)

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasp

SHE SPEAKS

Fair enough

I’m very hot

Wouldn’t want you to get heat stroke

One look at me and the pool turns into a jacuzzi

Sooooo cozy

(Phaedra is typing…)

(Phaedra is typing…)

(Phaedra is typing…)

Cheth (17:38)

You keep typing and stopping

Struggling for a retort?

Phaedra (17:39)

insufferable.

just

enjoy yourself I guess

Cheth (17:39)

Will do ✨ 

(September 14th)

Cheth (10:27)

Yo

Phaedra (10:27)

Mass about to start

Cheth (10:28)

Ew nevermind

Phaedra (10:28)

come on

Cheth (10:28)

I’ll just be a godless heathen over there

In your pool

Water up to my hell-hot shoulders

Phaedra (10:29)

if you have nothing to say you can just stop texting me

why do you even bother?

(September 15th)

“Heyyyyy! Good morning!”

It was, in fact, two in the afternoon, but Phaedra was still in bed, so as far as Cheth was concerned, it was close enough to use as she kicked her bedroom door open.

Sleeping beauty nearly hissed. “What are you doing in my room?”

“I got Monday off this week,” Cheth declared cheekily.

They’d known each other online for months, and in real life, it had already been a few weeks; yet this was only their second proper meeting. Well, third, if she counted waking up in the same bed… but in Cheth’s mind, this was only the second time. 

Somehow, Phaedra looked worse than after a night spent shitfaced. Not physically, of course, but the way she was looking at Cheth— on the defensive, alone in the dark, it reminded her of terrible days. Mentally, she didn’t look all the way there, more keen on sinking into a mire than greeting her guests, blankets and stuffed animals an army between her and the world.

Truth be told, Cheth had wanted to meet again face to face earlier, she had just chickened out every time. Swimming away the blistering September heat was a thin excuse: Daphne’s request gnawed at her constantly. I can’t get through to her, but maybe you can? Please?

(No! How could she fix anyone when she couldn’t even fix herself?)

So here she was, swaying on her feet in the lion’s den without a plan while Phaedra looked like absolute shit.

“We once bonded through a night of drinking and cuddling,” Cheth proclaimed. Theatrically, she made her way through the bedroom, all the way to the windows. Was there a button to open the blinds? That’s how loaded people did that, right? “Can’t leave you to rot forever in your depression nest, can I?”

To say Phaedra was displeased was understatement. “There was no cuddling— no, nevermind.” She shook her head. “You can go, I’m not your responsibility.”

Cheth hit the open blinds button on the third try, unimpressed. Vrrrrrr… Sunlight broke into the room, shining golden light on dust particles.

“Leave.” The stubborn princess’s eyes were thin slits, more blinded than hostile, but her voice was firm.

The dragon in the way of Phaedra’s fretful rest dropped on the edge of the bed and crossed her legs. She passed a hand through her dark locks— she’d made sure to tie it up and wear pants in case she bumped into Daphne, last time she’d been a lucky lad. She wasn’t stupid , she knew when to be careful to stay safe, but since they were alone… she wanted her hair loose right now. Wasn’t she so pretty like that?

Oooh. Maybe Phaedra could be seduced out of bed? No, that usually got people into bed. Infuriating her out of bed would probably work better.

“Have you considered that I have nothing better to do than to bother you in person?” Her hair free, she performed a little flourish with the purple hair tie. Cheth tapped her lips thoughtfully. “Besides. Every day I’ve come over you haven’t left your room at all. You never say hi to your guests! You’re so rude .”

Phaedra bit her lip. Touché. “Sorry.”

“I thought you liked me!” Cheth leaned closer to the girl, smiling too wide. “Didn’t think I’d even miss your mental gymnastics. Just a little.” She giggled to herself, kicking her feet.

From guilty, Phaedra was quick to become annoyed. “Don’t call my headcanons mental gymnastics.” She crawled out from under the covers (victory!) all the way to where Cheth was sitting, to… try and push her off the bed.

Before she could physically shove her out of the bedroom, however, Phaedra was all too quickly distracted by a lingering scent. “…are you drunk ?”

“Yeah! Just a little!” Cheth grimaced. “Liquid courage to climb some stairs and open a door!”

“You got drunk to talk to me ?” Phaedra stared, uncomprehending, but Cheth didn’t have any explanation to provide. What? She was an adult. Her liver was her own business. “…did you at least have lunch?”

Good question. Did she? Cheth tried to remember. She’d spent the morning agonizing about their last text exchange. Probably not. Ah, she was kind of hungry. Definitely not then. She winked for all reply.

“Do you skip meals a lot?”

Cheth shrugged, smirking with a tinge of bitter irony, a hand pressed against her forehead theatrically. “I love eating, but it’s a commitment for us depressed, lowly peasants. I can’t afford takeout everyday, a warm meal needs time. Energy. Groceries.” She slipped and dropped her back onto the covers (“ Oof!”) , but, undeterred, she started counting on her fingers. “I eat before work if I’m not late… lunch break if it’s not too busy… on days I don’t work I've got to remember…”

She lost count when Phaedra sighed and slid her legs off the bed. There. Feet on the ground, check. Take that, depression. Actually Cheth was totally so good at this.

Predictably, Phaedra only got off her mattress to drag her stumbling, uninvited guest out of the room, but she had a surprise in store— she didn’t let go on the threshold. 

“Don’t get drunk on an empty stomach,” Phaedra mumbled. “We’ll eat lunch and then you’ll leave me alone.”

(September 16th)

Cheth (7:22)

Goooood morning

Cheth (13:22)

AAAAAAAAA

Coworker couldn’t make her shift

Will be out by four

LET ME OUUUT

I’m starviiiiing

Phaedra (13:25)

does that happen a lot

Cheth (13:26)

Nah not really

I can usually grab a sandwich

Unfortunately ✨ we are not allowed to close the store at lunchtime

Which is stupid

We don’t sell food or anything

Most clients show up in the afternoon anyway

Kinda need the hours though $$$

Phaedra (13:28)

do you

want to eat together

cafe at four?

I never repaid you for the pancakes

Cheth (13:28)

!!!

Oh yes! It’s a date!

Phaedra (13:29)

it is not!!!

Cheth (13:29)

But you’ll sugar me??

Phaedra (13:30)

you

only if you don’t call it that.

At four o’clock Cheth hopped back home to shower, so Phaedra found herself waiting at the café. Nervous. Feeling particularly stupid, too. Not that she was afraid of being stood up… Rather, because she found herself in a strange situation where pushing someone away didn’t work. 

It just didn’t. Cheth kept coming after her, checking on her, never respecting the boundaries she tried to impose. Go away just wouldn’t work— so if she stopped running away, would Cheth stop chasing, or feel encouraged? Which one was she even hoping for?

The retail worker showed up with damp locks, the eternal leather jacket, and a massive smile. “Hello~ How do I look?”

Cheth looked like hell on wheels. Phaedra sipped up some tea. “You’re decent.” Outwardly, she was the picture of dignity. Inwardly she wanted to curl up like a deceased cockroach. Cause of death: crushed.

Cheth sat down, immediately making a grab for a scone she’d ordered. Some confusing words were spoken with a mouth full. “Hey. Guess my gender.”

Phaedra raised an eyebrow.

“Come on. Your best guess.”

Phaedra bit her lip, setting down her teacup. She’d been hoping for civil conversation, but she was being put on the spot there. She hadn’t seen Cheth face to face that much, so she usually didn’t need to think about… whatever that was about.

Let’s see. At first glance… well she couldn’t tell at all. Cheth had redone the makeup after showering, but as fancy as the eyeliner was, the intent wasn’t as obvious as what she’d seen when they’d met up before. The voice wasn’t particularly deep, but it wasn’t the same voice Cheth played a girl, either. A pretty boy or a somewhat masculine girl, both roles fit, so she shot her dart at random.

“Boy..?”

Cheth made a surprisingly realistic buzzer sound. “Wrong!”

“Girl then?”

Another buzzer sound. Phaedra frowned and crossed her arms. “You’re cheating.”

“Oh no! I never said that was a binary question.” They were always scheming and pushing — despite being called out, Cheth didn’t stop grinning. In fact? They were downright gleeful. “What a grumpy face. You’re so fun to mess with ♡”

Phaedra really considered standing up and leaving right then, but she knew they would give chase again, so she didn’t. Her skin was thicker than that, dang it.

That said, Phaedra still rolled her eyes, because that was clearly a game she’s been meant to lose from the start. Fine! She could play along! “What are you today then? Dinosaur? Do I have to refer to you in past tense?”

But as soon as the words left her mouth, she wanted to bite them back. Wasn’t that really rude? What if they got angry? What if this was important to them, they went out in public like this all the time, even at work…

Cheth was infuriating, but she bit and clawed them over and over like a feral cat. She should treat them better than that. She pushed away her mother, she pushed away Irving and Lani. Why was she like this? Why couldn’t she—

Her turmoil was only punished with a pout. “Not a dinosaur…” Cheth didn’t laugh it off, but they chewed on their scone thoughtfully. “That does sound kind of fun though.”

Alright. They weren’t mad. Phaedra’s shoulders sagged in relief and she took a long sip from her drink. Thank God for tea. The anchor of her sanity in this dark and hostile world… gentle warmth down her throat amidst the cold, uncaring realities of life…

So she breathed in a deep, calming breath. She could be on her best behavior. At least for a little while. Come on. This wasn’t her first conversational minefield. “Explain it to me then. How are you not crossdressing as a boy or a girl today?”

But, bizarrely, Phaedra’s olive branch was met with even less enthusiasm than her tasteless comment. Cheth answered nothing at all. “Don’t make that weird face,” she grumbled.

Cheth rolled their eyes and shrugged. “None of your business. Look it up if you’re interested in us freaks. I’m not wasting my time.”

What?

Why were they growing aloof now if they didn’t care for a mean joke? Phaedra gestured at their ungrateful ass. “Wasting your time? You agreed to meet with me. I am literally paying for your scones.”

The truth did not rattle her companion. Cheth just sulked, sucking crumbs off their fingers. She couldn’t believe this… fish. Anger simmered beneath her nails, they were ignoring her. “I can’t just look it up.” Phaedra forced her voice steady, pushing down her temper, lacing her fingers in front of her face. “I want to know about you , not some stranger.”

A chunk of pastry fell back onto their plate as Cheth crunched on it too hard. They stared at her, hesitating, and for a second, she thought they would relent and explain… but their expression closed up all over again.

The prick returned to eating without speaking.

By now, Phaedra was losing patience. “ You brought this up first, but you don’t want to talk about it? What the hell do you want from me?” Cheth had the decency to look a little embarrassed, so she pressed on. “Do you not trust me? Fine. I earned that, but can you at least tell me why you don’t want to talk about it? You don’t exactly hide that you’re…” she realized she didn’t have the words. She tried to remember what they’d called themself before. Was queer a slur or was it okay for her to say? Phaedra trailed off awkwardly, gesturing at Cheth’s conspicuous hair, makeup, outfit… everything.

The longer her ill-silent pause went on, the darker Cheth’s expression became.

They put down their half eaten scone and stood. They were so much taller than her, especially since she was still sitting down— a looming shadow.

“You see fit for me to hide.” They poked at her solar plexus, a jab that hurt a little bit. “—and, you know what? That’s fair enough, I’ve been burned by not hiding before.”

They turned around, hair swishing behind them, and raised a finger. “…but I am not without pride.” Their back faced her, so she couldn’t see their expression when they glanced back at Phaedra over their shoulder. “I don’t need your gawking nor your pity. I’m not a zoo animal.”

They were going to leave dramatically? Just like that, explaining nothing? Phaedra had enough of this dance. The girl stood abruptly, and her chair nearly toppled— she grabbed Cheth’s arm and yanked them back around to face her properly. “You will not claim I gawk .” She was nothing like those paparazzi that sank their fangs into the meat of people’s suffering. “I am looking right at you, in the eyes!” She held onto Cheth too tight, because she was sure they were strong enough to break away; she might leave bruises, but if she held back they would just shrug her off. “I don’t get you! If you don’t want to be friends why do you refuse to leave me alone?!” 

The goth stared at her. Their eyes darted off to the side, then back to her gray eyes, then somewhere distant again, before finally landing onto the plate full of crumbs that they left on their table. “Let go of me,” they said without bite. Phaedra didn’t. They gritted their teeth and sat back down, prying her fingers off their arm. “You’re serious? About getting to know me?”

“Wh— Yes!” Phaedra exclaimed, and she found that… it was actually true. Was that not obvious? Did they doubt it because of their longstanding fandom enmity? Or was it only the crossdressing they felt weird about… well, she was confused by it, but it wasn’t the strangest thing about Cheth. Cheth was also a furry. (Why would you want to be a dinosaur?)

She didn’t understand them, but for all she knew they just liked wearing different clothes that much, she’d seen their apartment. They’d been odd and annoying long before she learned of their IRL habits. 

Cheth was making a weird face again, but it was a more subdued one. They grabbed a scone and snapped it in two, handing her half. “To our budding friendship,” they claimed very seriously.

Baffled, the girl took and ate it.

(September 17th)

Cheth (14:32)

[Cheth sent a photo]

Alright

Let’s start your training arc

Guess what gender I am today

Phaedra (14:36)

??

Cheth (14:36)

AHA YOU WERE AWAKE

Warning I get to make fun of you if you get it wrong

Phaedra (14:37)

you’re insufferable.

girl?

Cheth (14:37)

Wrong~

Phaedra (14:37)

you’re literally wearing a dress

Cheth (14:37)

This is my day off. It’s called being fashionable .

anyway I’m a he today

Phaedra (14:38)

so you’re in drag right now?

Cheth (14:38)

I can’t do powerpoint over text so let’s not get into the semantics of what counts as drag or crossdressing

More importantly:

You know that word??????!!!!

Phaedra (14:39)

…how sheltered do you think I am?

Cheth (14:44)

I will not answer that

Do you think I’m pretty?

(Phaedra is typing…)

(Phaedra is typing…)

(Phaedra is typing…)

Cheth (14:48)

Snrk

Phaedra (14:48)

well then I will not answer that either

are you coming over today?

Cheth (14:49)

Yeah

Weather’s not looking good next week

I want to swim before it gets bad

Phaedra (14:50)

ok mom’s not home

just don’t bother me

i’m locking my door

(September 20th)

The Samoyeds weren’t exactly attack dogs, but they had been trained to chase out intruders. That morning, Phaedra was woken up by barking that just wouldn’t stop; groggy, she wondered if her pups were mauling some thief right outside her window. Cal would have usually calmed them down by now.

Although the sun was hiding behind heavy clouds, no volume of pillow could successfully dampen the noise. Urgh. Fine. What could it be? Cheth certainly wouldn’t be able to use the pool in this weather.

Morning chill staved off by her blanket, Phaedra trudged downstairs to assess the situation. Situ-bark-tion? She quickly found out the dogs had indeed caught someone red-handed in the yard. Thankfully, it didn’t look like they saw this person as an intruder at all.

Of course. Of course it was them. Yet, again, Cheth wouldn’t be able to swim today. Not wearing a swimsuit, either, from what little she could tell underneath the fluffy white bodies. “Why are you here?”

“Can’t I just want to visit you?” Although half buried in a pack of very happy clouds, the answer was nothing short of outrage. “I have zero ulterior motive!” 

Unfortunately, the uninvited guest’s credibility was undermined by the vigor with which the dogs were being petted. With a solid five of them begging for attention, Cheth just didn’t have enough hands. 

“I’m counting a few motives right here. A whole seven.” Phaedra’s flat answer got a grin out of her visitor. “Watch out for Lief.”

“Which dog is— Don’t lick my mouth!”

Cheth had bitten more than anyone could chew.

Ah well. Alive was good enough. There would be no mercy on her part. Spluttering and mildly distressed, Cheth was swallowed by the white fluff, and she watched without intervening. A tattooed arm was still visible between wagging tails and eager muzzles, waving wildly, but it found no sufficient leverage to extricate its owner.

Instead of retreating all the way back to her bedroom, Phaedra sat down to watch the disaster. Her phone counted sixteen minutes between the initial assault and the dogs growing bored enough of Cheth to wander away, freeing their victim and running back to Cal deeper in the garden.

Covered in fur and shiny with dog slobber, the intruder had been thoroughly defeated. 

The sight had the girl snorting. Cheth attempted to pick white fluff out of otherwise silky black locks of hair, but she knew all efforts of that nature were fruitless. The fluff was eternal and never ending. You had to take a bath. 

Well, she should at least give out the bare minimum of courtesy. “Do you want to come inside or did you have enough social interaction with my dogs?”

At her taunt, Cheth rose from the grass, disheveled but proud. Surprisingly resilient. That was almost an air of dignity. “I’m done petting the puppers, but I suppose the grouchy cat deserves some love too.” 

“I don’t have a—” Cheth ruffled up her hair, messing up her hasty ponytail on purpose. “Don’t touch me!”

She kicked the asshole in the shin.

(September 21st)

Cheth (10:31)

Hello there Princess

Cheth (10:45)

Right, it’s Sunday, I’m going to go ahead and guess you’re all at mass again

Even Cal’s gone

I’ll just go home for today

Phaedra (11:36)

hello

Cheth (11:38)

Hi~

wHat’s up

Miss meeeee?????

As if lol

Phaedra (11:39)

we literally saw each other yesterday

I was at church

Cheth (11:39)

Ofcourse Ofcourse figured cant miss one of thsoe again

Phaedra (11:40)

are you drunk again?

Cheth (11:42)

theres wine at church too right

It’s SUNDAY

We cna just call its my own pritave mass

Phaedra (11:42)

:/

(October 1st)

Cheth (11:35)

Urgh

Freeeeeee

How is it only 11

Can I come over

It’s that or I’m drinking the rest of the day away ;P

Phaedra (11:37)

you need hobbies that aren’t destroying your liver

Cheth (11:37)

That’s where you’re wrong, Princess

I have tons of hobbies

Too many even

I can draw

I can paint

I can sew

I can crochet

I can dance

I can play the piano

I can sing

Okay no I can’t sing

Don’t ask me to sing

You get it

Phaedra (11:39)

then why don’t you do any of that?

Cheth (11:40)

I do sometimes

I don’t want to right now

What’s the point

Phaedra (11:40)

you’d bother me less 

Cheth (11:41)

You are so mean to me.

Phaedra (11:42)

ok whatever

just come over

October started on a somewhat conflictual note.

FayeFiletMignon (14:34)

which means Nothing! Nothing at all! friends do that all the time! can’t people be friends anymore?

Can’tThinkOfANickname (14:35)

uh huh yeah ok i’m just gonna block you now

but before i do

just sayin

you need to get your eyes looked at

if it was a boy and a girl 

hello? the underwater scene??

anyway bye bitch

“Ohhh the b-word. Damn.”

Phaedra elbowed Cheth.They were upside down on her couch, legs dangling off the backrest and braided hair picking up dust on the carpet, so their hip was the level spot. “Stop looking.” To make her point, she dimmed her laptop screen. 

“What? You won’t let me check out the gossip? I hang out with you out of the goodness of my sober heart and this is the thanks I get?”

Phaedra poked their ribs the second time. A little too thin. “Don’t think I didn’t see you eyeing my mom’s wine cabinet.”

Cheth smirked upside down, which didn’t make it look like a frown, but did have Phaedra half-heartedly pretending their eyebrows were a silly mustache. “I wasn’t hiding. I have nothing to hide. She has decent taste.”

The cheapest wine in the cabinet was at least fifty bucks, but Phaedra didn’t really care for alcohol, so she didn’t try to argue. Fighting about an endless list of regions and vineyards she only half-remembered would be a losing battle. Phaedra didn’t like fighting losing battles. Phaedra was also a little concerned and wanted to drag the topic away from the bottle.

“You listed quite the impressive list of hobbies earlier,” she remarked. “Any proof of your diverse qualifications?”

Cheth snorted. They crossed their arms, still smirking, looking incredibly silly upside down. “I’m an artist, princess, not an academic. I’m afraid I don’t have a certificate to show you.”

“You could demonstrate. Or are you a coward?”

Cheth stared, eyes round. They bobbed their head side to side. She waited.

“Demonstrate what?”

Phaedra hummed. The fish was nibbling on the bait, successfully distracted. “We have a piano. You could play something.”

Her guest pouted, considering it. Then, they let themself slump fully off the sofa and rolled back to their feet. “Lead the way,” they commanded, dusting their clothes.

The piano was tucked in a corner of the living room on the first floor, a beautiful, precious wood instrument that was meticulously maintained yet went unused for years at a time. Phaedra’s grandfather (her grandmother’s third husband) had played, and when he passed neither Daphne nor Euphemia had the heart to rid themselves of it.

Phaedra only barely remembered hearing the wooden hammers hit those strings. She knew there was a video somewhere, where she sat on her grandpa’s knees and played a nonsense racket with her baby fists. Then Mom pulled her into her arms so Grandpa could play properly, and they listened to his hands together.

Phaedra’s father was holding the camera. His face never appeared in the video. A snake squeezed her heart, coils tight as to wring tears out of her eyes, but she kept on breathing, focusing on Cheth’s flourishes opening up the keyboard instead.

For a second they looked a little nervous. They glanced over their shoulder. She shared an unimpressed expression. Seeing her lack of expectations, they regained their footing; the nervous grin morphed into a smirk, and they were playing at the jerk with a hyperinflated ego again.

There was no partition. Their fingers hit the notes immediately, playing out an unknown melody they knew by heart.

Phaedra had rarely seen this piano play, but she had been witness to some rather posh concerts before— events related to her mom’s movies, galas she was always pushed to go to… She’d heard some geniuses play live, and people who’d made it their job for twenty years.

By comparison, Cheth’s playing was slower and sloppier. They missed a couple of notes, and they hit the keys too hard, hands tense and rigid…

Yet, as the song unraveled into the air, her heart beat harder and harder. Cheth was so focused on the music that they’d stopped smiling altogether, teeth clenched in concentration, and their downturned mouth, their lidded eyes were perhaps a little sad… she didn’t know if there was a story behind the song, or if the emotions were from elsewhere, but she had an inkling that this was important to them.

Although the technical aspects weren’t impressive by Phaedra’s standards… when the final note faded, and Cheth lifted their hands off the keyboard, Phaedra clapped sincerely.

“That…” They cringed, conscious that their little show had hardly been perfect. “I’m out of practice.”

Why were they making excuses? Phaedra huffed. “I wouldn’t clap sarcastically. I liked it.”

They crossed their arms. Okay, they didn’t believe her. Way to ruin the moment by being a jerk. She rolled her eyes.

They threw jabs back and forth, frustrated with each other, but Cheth agreed to come around and practice playing every other day now that the pool was out of question, so Phaedra decided this was her win.

(October 6th)

Cheth (03:45)

[Cheth sent a photo]

Cheth (03:45)

CAT outside my window

Phaedra (03:46)

why are you awake???

Cheth (03:46)

Maybe the cat woke me up

Maybe I wanted to tell YOU to go to bed instead of feeding trolls

Who knows

Phaedra (03:47)

hm

what did you stay up watching

Cheth (03:47)

Horror movie

Phaedra (03:47)

was it too scary cheth

are you too scared to fall asleep

do you need a kiss goodnight

Cheth (03:48)

Shut up and go to bed

(October 11th)

“Aaaalmost there!”

This had to be a strange sight. Out in the garden, a tall goth was straining and stretching his arm into a tree to reach a dog toy; the young lady of the house was in charge of keeping a stool steady, her arms half-wrapped around his legs and forehead inches from touching his pant leg.

“Got it!”

The pink frisbee was dislodged from the branch with one last huff, and Cheth held it up in victory, but when he glanced down, he realized Phaedra’s face was flushed red. “I’m not even touching you… I know you have a crush on me, but you can handle this much physical contact, can’t you?”

Phaedra squeaked. Her ears were scarlet. “Can you not bring that up so casually?” She looked about two seconds away from bolting, but with Cheth still perched on the unsteady stool, she was condemned to staying rooted right where she was, lest he risk falling off.

“Oh, alright. I can bring it up more seriously, dear~” Cheth intentionally lowered his voice, bending in two over her. His hair slipped off his shoulder to form a dark, intimate curtain. “Want me to get down on one knee?”

“I take it back. That’s worse.” The young woman wore such a deadpan expression that Cheth’s face split apart into a grin. “Jump off there before I decide to let you stumble to your death.”

(October 16th)

Phaedra (15:47)

mom’s here all day today fyi

Cheth (16:56)

Daphne! Got it, I’ll wear pants

Phaedra (16:57)

you’re a girl today?

Cheth (16:59)

[Cheth sent a photo]

Bingo!! Thanks for noticing ✨ 

Phaedra (16:59)

why?

Cheth (16:59)

Hm! I was expecting “you’re welcome”, Princess

Phaedra (17:00)

you know what I mean

Cheth (17:02)

I still don’t owe you an explanation.

Phaedra (17:02)

I know

I’m not demanding one!

you’re just confusing

you’ll wear a dress but say you’re a boy one day

the next you say you’re a girl and you look exactly the same

and then you change your face with makeup so half the time you come over you look like a different person!

Cheth (17:05)

Cranky because you’re not a shapeshifter aren’t you

Phaedra (17:06)

nevermind don’t even come over today

Cheth (17:07)

I don’t need your permission, I’m in the security system :)))

Besides I haven’t said hi to Lady Daphne in a while~

Phaedra (17:08)

ew do NOT flirt with my mom

Cheth (17:09)

Sadly, I don’t think Daphne Philemon is into goth girls.

Your hot mom is safe for today.

Would sure make an interesting tabloid though

Phaedra (17:09)

do not call my mom hot

shut up!

Cheth (17:09)

My lips are sealed.

Phaedra (17:12)

wait 

you were just dodging my questions again!

why do I even TRY

go to hell

Cheth stared at her phone, chewing on her lip.

Daphne Philemon had greeted her warmly, but Cheth’s heart wasn’t in it, so she’d quickly excused herself to hide in the garden— she seated herself near the closed pool, right on the resting grass, and groaned into her hand. Her hair band went around her wrist, but freeing her hair did little to make her feel better.

The screen taunted her with her own stupidity.

To be honest with herself, Cheth already knew that the little bigot was just innocently curious. If only because of her silly crush, Phaedra was giving her a chance, trying to connect with her, understand her better.

And Cheth did her best to ruin it, as usual.

That the internal workings of her gender fuckery were none of Phaedra’s business was true. That the silly girl was clueless about Cheth’s baggage, however, was true as well, so perhaps she didn’t deserve to get blown off like that. Why the hell was Cheth joking about making passes at a widow to the daughter??? She was the worst.

Phaedra had even been nice about the piano, the days she bothered to step out of her room. There were a couple of times Cheth was pretty sure Phaedra had gotten dressed because Cheth was playing and she wanted to listen. That was incredibly flattering! The validation warmed her bones, made her want to get serious about it again. Without Shoshi, Cheth hadn’t thought she’d ever want to play…

Perhaps Cheth was scared, on some level. This wasn’t just about Daphne’s request to help Phaedra anymore. She’d been coming here more and more often over the past couple of months, straying from her established habits, craving companionship like a flower bends towards sunlight. Changing. Healing? Change scary.

After all, Cheth didn’t have any friends in this town until now. She’d left it all behind when she moved— the connections, the memories, the remnant of her family… maybe that was it. Even if it was some local rich zealots of all people, it was a genuine connection like she hadn’t had in years.

(Was it genuine if she had to hide, though?)

“May I join you?”

Cheth nearly jumped out of her skin, but it was only Cal. The dogs weren’t with him today. Maybe they were taking a training class or something. Those puppers had more diplomas than Cheth, that was for sure.

She nodded, and the old man sat next to her. He wore a gentle smile behind his beard, and he looked like he wanted to enter her space to comfort her, but he kept a respectful distance between them. They weren’t quite strangers, but they didn’t know each other; Cal chose to use words.

“Are you perhaps fighting with Miss Philemon?”

Cheth shrugged, but she knew her expression said yes .

“She can be rather stubborn. I hope you do not take it to heart.”

Cheth cringed. “Oh no. This one was all my fault.” She gestured wildly at the air, as if to shred apart the nasty weight on her shoulders. “My one talent is self-sabotaging.”

“Now, that cannot be true,” Cal chastised. “I am certain that you have many talents, and qualities even more plentiful.”

Cheth leveled a doubtful stare at the old man. After all, they didn’t know each other.

Cal, however, wasn’t intimidated. His voice ever soft, he kept talking without missing a beat. “I cannot boast having known you for a long time, but I know for a fact that you are kind to Miss Philemon.”

“I’m not,” Cheth denied immediately, fingers clawing into the earth. “I can't help her, or anyone. I can’t even help myself !” Urgh. What was she even saying to a stranger? She wanted to take the outburst back, backpedal, raise her walls high again; Cal’s expression made her hesitate.

“It is no one’s responsibility to fix the world alone,” he spoke softly, “much less a person. This can only be achieved as a collective effort. You needn’t force yourself, Miss, it is more than enough to be a good friend.”

Cheth gripped the grass, not ripping it, just to feel something solid under her palm. “I’m not forcing myself, I just…” What Cal had said only caught up to her after a moment, interrupting her train of thought.

“Miss?”

Seeing her aghast, Cal raised his hands. “I apologize if I misunderstood… is that not what you prefer to be called?”

Did Phaedra go and babble about her? No, she wouldn’t, she was the one who told her to keep it down. Cheth didn’t know what to say. She liked the old man well enough; he wasn’t around often, preferring to disappear so as to not bother guests, but he was nice and she loved what he did with his tattoos.

But she certainly hadn’t told him anything. She grappled with the loss of control, uncertain. Did Daphne also know? Wouldn’t she have brought it up?

Cal misunderstood her silence. “Is it not Miss? Anything comfortable for you is fine by me. Young people have come up with a lot of new words, I’m afraid you may need to explain some of them… but what you are comfortable with sharing, I will do my best to respect.”

“I— Miss is fine. It… depends.” She passed a hand through her hair. The milk had been spilled one way or another, and he wasn’t reacting badly. She shouldn’t overthink it. “Right now, Miss is fine.”

“May I inquire what it depends on?”

Cheth’s eyes fell on Cal’s beautiful tattooed vines. Don’t make the same mistake twice in a row. Come on. “Just my mood, I guess.”

Cal didn’t complain about her vague answer, he just watched her. With interest, if she had to guess. “How curious… and fascinating.”

“I’m a capricious drama queen, can’t settle on just being one thing,” Cheth elaborated with a flourish of her hair. Then her shoulders sagged. “It’s not linear .”

“Few things are linear.” Cal gestured to the patch of nature around them. “Recovery isn’t linear, either, but inch by inch the road leads one forward.” Cheth had no idea how much he was privy to, but it was clearly way more than she thought. Phaedra had seemed close to him, the day he gave them a ride, so perhaps she shouldn’t be too surprised.

“...how did you know?” She looked queer any day, so maybe that was a stupid question, but she was still rather uncomfortable with what people might speculate behind her back. She knew by experience how unpleasant that could get.

So Cal smiled, perhaps hoping to reassure her. “Just an old man’s hunch. You are hardly unique. I have had friends who wished to sculpt themselves into a new shape, to better reflect who they felt they were. You intentionally change the pitch of your voice, among other things, that reminded me of them.” Cheth blanked out, instinctively reaching for her throat. “You can rest assured that I would not share private matters without your permission.”

Cheth nodded. Okay. Right. Her skin itched. Time to change the subject. “What should I do about Phaedra?”

“Miss Philemon…” Cal gracefully accepted the change of topic. “If you spoke words that you regret, should you not begin with apologizing to her?”

Cheth (17:09)

So.

Are you there

Can I come in?

Phaedra (17:10)

come in where

Cheth (17:10)

Your room? So we can talk face to face?

Phaedra (17:10)

one word about my mom and I’m throwing you out

make it count

Cheth (17:11)

Fair enough.

The door opened without noise. The bedroom was dark, only illuminated by Phaedra’s computer screen; Cheth didn’t turn on the lights, guided by the corridor’s glow towards the center of the room.

She was carrying a tray. Two empty cups, a teapot, a small box. She set it down on the desk. “I don’t have your expertise, so if you want it to taste good, you’ll have to tell me what I need to do or do it yourself.”

The little mouse bundled in blankets glared at her.

“Come on, I know you love tea more than life itself.”

Phaedra rolled her eyes, but she did slink off the bed. “Give me that. Is the water still boiling?”

Cheth sat on the bed to let her work, a small smile on her face.