Chapter Text
“I’m pregnant. 7 months along to be precise, I didn’t want to call you up and do this, and your mom said you’ve not been back in a while and I’d find you at this address.” Jiaying rambled, leaning against the wall, hand on her ever growing bump. Phil glanced over, hesitant to reply, “Right…. And… look I don’t know what to say, this is- i- forgive me if I insult you but it’s mine? My baby? You’re sure?” Phil stood at the opposite end of the hallway, holding onto the banister like a life line.
“Phil, I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t your baby. I know we didn’t plan this and I mean it was a one night thing… but I’m.. i-i-i… I don’t want the baby, I have plans, this was never in my plans, but I couldn’t give her up for adoption without telling you, it didn’t feel right.”
Jiaying shifts slightly, swaying herself side to side in discomfort, head down at the floor not daring to make eye contact with the Phillip Coulson.
“I… what? Adoption? You’re-wait…..it’s a girl?!” Phil looks up, a slight smile on his lips, he shuffles a few steps closer to where Jiaying is leant, and holds out a hand towards the scan photos she’s got poking out the top of her bag the strap across her shoulder. Jiaying looks up slightly and reaches to grab the photos from her bag, taking a quick glance before she holds them out to him, “Yes. It’s a girl, they told me at my 20 week scan. I… I know this is all so much to take in, I just I had to tell you.” Jiaying looks back down.
Phil’s fingers brush over the little features of a nose, grinning to himself in happiness, a thousand thoughts going through his mind, my baby, a little baby girl, mine. All mine. Yet she wants to get rid of her? I’m her dad. She’s my baby. But Melinda, oh god, Melinda may. What am I supposed to say to her? Do I want to risk losing her for a baby I had on a one night stand?
Phil rips off the top photo slowly, passing back the other two to Jiaying, “Look, me and Melinda have been together for 5 months now, this house.. we bought together, 5 bedrooms, 5 acre of land and we.. well we love each other. But I can’t- this- it’s just- OH DAMN” Phil’s slams his hand on the closest wall and stands frozen, his heart beating out his chest, the air thick with tension and grief from all that’s just finally fully caught up with him.
“I’m so sorry Phil. I shouldn’t of come, I’m gonna go” Jiaying whispers, resting a hand on his shoulder, with a gentle tap, she turns to go towards the door, hand reaching for the doorknob, she pulls it open, she’s half way out as Phil turns, eyes wild, “NO WAIT.” Jiaying stops, glancing at him over her shoulder.
“I can’t let you do this. She’s my baby too. I know- look I know you’ve said you’re not ready, and that’s okay. I know you’ve clearly thought about this and you’ve made a choice but don’t I get the same courtesy? You can’t just come here, tell me I’m going to be a dad and snatch that away? I want her, I want to be her dad.” He almost shouts out, the words coming out almost too fast, in his haste to get it all out before she left.
Jiaying stares at him for what feels like forever, “What?” She laughs slightly, “It’s not official, I haven’t signed anything yet, but I had to make plans, if I’d have come here and you said you didn’t want to know then what? I had to think about me Phil. I know that’s selfish, but I was too late for a termination. And I don’t know if I could have gone through with it anyways.” She trails off, looking up with watery eyes, hand going back to her bump.
“I do love her but I’m not ready, and it’s selfish of me to keep her when I’ve no money, a job that I could lose tomorrow, no proper house, I mean, Wow Phil. Look at this, you’re living a dream, and the Melinda May? We all know how long you two have been dancing around each other, I’m glad you finally got it together.” She smiles, making eye contact with him for a slight second before she glances up to the ceiling and back down, “Where do we go from here?” She sighs.
Phil shakes his head, “I don’t.. I don’t know-“ he stops, there’s footsteps and then a creak, and the front door opens, “Melinda.” Phil says, his voice a few octaves higher than usual. Melinda slowly walks in, hanging her leather jacket on the hook, and placing her bag on the shelf above the radiator, she turns to face them, glancing back and forth between the pair of them, “Phil. What’s going on?”. The silence overcomes them all, nobody knowing what to properly say.
“Melinda. This is Jiaying, you know I told you I went on a few dates before we got together? Well, this is her. Jiaying.” He sighs, feeling as though he can’t explain this good enough for Melinda to not be pissed. Melinda flicks her eyes to Phil, and raises an eyebrow in question, we will be talking about this later, Phil shudders, knowing full well the look she was giving off.
Melinda holds a hand out to Jiaying, “Hello. Nice to meet you.” They both shake hands, “Hi. Phil speaks highly of you, you’ve got a lovely house.” Jaiying releases her hand, slowly creeping back a bit, trying to hide her bump with no avail. Melinda’s eyes flicker to the bump, and back up to Jiaying then to Phil, “Congratulations.” She offers, the barely visible smile gracing her lips.
“Thank you. Look I should go. Phil, I’ll call you? Maybe we can meet again to talk?” Jaiying walks back to the front door, turning to look at Phil awaiting an answer before she leaves.
“Yes. I’ll be in touch asap. Please don’t do anything rash before we can talk again. I meant what I said. I want her.” Phil speaks, casting a look at Melinda, who stands arms folded, staring between the two, she raises another eyebrow in question at him, her eyes asking him to fill her in desperately.
“I won’t Phil. You have my word, I want us to sort this, I’ll speak to you soon. It was nice to meet you Melinda, hopefully I’ll get to speak to you soon. Have a nice weekend.” Jaiying opens the door, stepping out, with a quick last smile to Phil and Melinda, she shuts the door and walks to her car.
Phil stands with a sheepish smile, “Well. How was work?” He offers, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. Melinda pulls away, walking down the hallway into the kitchen, she grabs a water from the fridge, opening it and taking a few gulps.
“Dont you dare, Phillip. What the hell was that?!” She says with a hard edge to her voice. Phil’s smile drops, he reaches to grab her hands, Melinda allows him too. “Look… I-god Lin this is all such a mess but I want you to know I love you.” Phil says lowly, staring Melinda straight in the eyes with every word.
“Phil…. You’re scarring me. What is it? What’s going on? Are you leaving me?” Melinda whispers. Phil laughs, shaking his head slowly, he reaches his hand up to brush her cheek, “God Melinda. No. Never. You’re my life. I will never leave you. I need to tell you something.. I had no idea up until today, and I want you to listen okay? I really need to just say it and I hope with everything, it’s you who doesn’t decide to leave me.”
Melinda leans closer, their noses touching slightly. “Phil. I love you too. But I’m so scared of what you’re going to say. So just spit it out already.” She sighs, pecking him on the cheek.
“Right. Ok. So me and Jaiying, we dated for a while, and then we had a one night stand 7 months ago. Well we’ve not spoke since, I wouldn’t- couldn’t Lin. I want a future with you. You know I do. But… the baby.. Mel.. the baby is mine.” He doesn’t dare look up, not daring to see her face.
Melinda pulls away abruptly, she gasps, hands clenched into fists, she turns her head away, facing the kitchen sink, her hands slamming onto the sides, to grip. “She’s having your baby?!” She questions, her voice lower than Phil’s ever heard it.
“I know. Melinda believe me, I know. This- it wasn’t planned ok? I only just found out myself. It’s a massive shock to me. It’s a girl by the way.. a girl.. a little girl. I’m gonna have a little gir-“
He’s cut off mid sentence by Melinda slamming her hand on the kitchen side, she turns round, a smirk on her face, “How perfect Phil. How lovely for the pair of you. Congratulations. So what’s the plan? I leave. She moves in, you both get married, turn one of the bedrooms into a nursery? I mean- ha.. that’s the perfect scenario isn’t it. You always wanted kids. Seems to me you got your dreams come true all rolled together.” Shes nearly shouting at this point, her breathing unsteady, she clench’s and unclenches her fists, looking at the floor, 1,2,3. 1,2.3her breathing not listening to her thoughts of calming down.
Phil reaches for her again, grabbing her hands and slowly unclenching her fists, whilst pulling her away from the kitchen side into him. He stares at her face, waiting to see the flicker of her eyes into his. Melinda sighs, looking up to see him staring back, the tears filling her eyes as she bites her lip, willing herself not to cry. Not to show emotion. If this is how she loses Phil, then so be it.
Phil smiles, letting go of one of her hands, he brushes her lip, forcing Melinda to release her grip of biting down on it. “Melinda May. You’re who I want. I want to marry YOU. I don’t want anyone else. Least of all Jiaying. But… this is my baby. Yes, you’re right. I always wanted to be a dad, when I pictured that future, it was always you who I did it with. Mine and your kids.” He trails his fingers up to her cheek, leaning in, his lips gently pressing against hers, in a soft kiss.
“I can’t ask you to stay Mel. But I can’t walk away from the baby. She’s mine Melinda. And Jiaying she wants to give her up for adoption. I can’t- the idea of my daughter having another dad that isn’t me… that idea Mel… I can’t live like that. She needs me. I think a part of me needs her too. She’s not even born yet and her mother is leaving her, I’m sorry Melinda but I can’t walk out on her too.”
Melinda steps back.. walking out of the kitchen, she grabs her bag, rooting through for her car keys, “I don’t.. this is so out of the blue Phil. I know you. I know you’ll be an amazing dad. And a part of me understands it, she’s your daughter and you want to raise her, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I can’t- she’s losing her mother, she doesn’t need to lose her father too. You’re a good man Phil.” She steps closer, squeezing Phil’s arm. “But I have to question if you’re raising this baby.. where does that leave me? Us even?” She nods at him, and turns to head towards the front door.
“Please. Please. Don’t walk out the door Melinda. I want her but DAMMNIT, I want you too. Me and you against the world yeah? We can do this. We can raise her together. I’m her dad and you-“. Melinda laughs, her shoulders shaking as she does, she holds her arm out, pulling Phil to her as she does, “I love you Phillip J Coulson .But I don’t want to be just a step mom, just here bc her dad wants me around. I- wanted it to be me and you, the parents. Mom and dad..” She links their hands together, squeezing it gently, kissing him on the cheek, she turns to once again walk out the door.
“You won’t be. You’ll never be just her step mom. You could never just be anything. I promise. You’ll be the closest thing to a mom she’ll have. If-if you want? I mean, hell… Jiaying won’t be around. And I don’t even have a clue what I’m doing. I just know in my heart, I can’t let you walk out that door and leave me.”
Phil closes his eyes, running his hands over his face, his speech seeming to be not as much as he wants to say, he can’t look at her, in fear of seeing her disgust, or anger or even the loss of the sparkle of love that she usually showed him in through her eyes.
The click of a door shutting sounds throughout the hallway, Phil opens his eyes, he’s alone. Shes gone. She’s gone. “No.” He whispers, pulling the door open, he runs out the house, his head whipping across to look at where their S.U.V was once parked. The spot alarmingly vacant. Phil falls to his knees onto the gravel, head in his hands.
“GOD DAMMIT. FUCK. MELINDA.” He bellows. Grabbing at the stones and throwing them into the air across the drive. He sniffles, the sniffles turn into sobs.
Shes gone.