Work Text:
A fairly average day with the Rebellion, was certainly not normal for the average human—or, well… the average pet-human. Two specific guys got up to some crazy shenanigans to say the very least. Culprit number one being the infamous platinum blond-haired gymrat Dewey, and culprit number two being the dark brunet-haired Isaac.
And it was going to be a fairly normal day, until Isaac approached Dewey, Hyuna, Ivan, Till, Sua, and Mizi, who were playing a card game—Luka wasn’t invited. He slowly curled his hand around Dewey’s shoulder one finger at a time, gripping his phone tightly in his other hand with the microphone end towards his mouth. Dewey’s eyes widened as he slowly turned around, his head stopping about halfway when he saw Isaac all up in his space, practically pressing his forehead into Dewey’s.
“Yes…?” Dewey nearly whispered out, staring into Isaac’s eyes. The brunet took a large inhale, looking like he was… sniffing the phone—? What the fuck???
“Who am I here with today?” Isaac grumbled in Dewey’s ear. He seemed to be shaking and breathing heavily… there HAD to be something wrong with him.
“What?” Dewey said confused, looking at everyone else in the room for any kind of explanation. He got nothing. Everyone was just as confused as him.
“Answer the question. Who am I here with today?” He grumbled again, leaning closer into Dewey as he turned the phone microphone to face the other man.
“Dewey.” He nervously snickered, though deciding to play the part and go with it.
“Alright, now, what are your thoughts and opinions on tax evasion?” Isaac muttered out, not exactly taking himself fully seriously even though it was far from the crazier questions he was going to ask.
“Uh… I guess it’s pretty uh— okay? I mean we don’t pay taxes, we’re basically illegal.” Dewey chirped in response.
“Mhm, mhm.” Isaac hummed, nodding his head. “Next question.”
He paused as he looked at a list on his phone, looking for a new question to bombard Dewey with.
“What are your thoughts and opinions on… queers?” He slightly smiled, but quickly wiped it off his face to return that same stern face he was previously wearing.
Dewey was a bit dumbfounded by this question, as the two of them were… literally married??? “Ah, man, I can't stand them.”
Isaac nodded, trying not to laugh as everyone else in the room looked at each other with utter confusion. He flicked through the list again, slipping out a giggle before collecting himself again.
“Last question. What are your thoughts and opinions on… edging?” Isaac tried so hard to keep his cool, his inner immature teenager mindset heavily intact even at the ripe age of thirty-two.
Dewey’s eyes widened and he had to fight the urge to burst out laughing, though he didn’t exactly know how to feel hearing those words falling from his husband’s mouth. He decided to commit to it and keep up the act a little more.
“Oh… wow. Yeah, uh… I personally find it very amusing! A bit time-consuming, but it’s fun when you’ve got nothing better to do.” Dewey chirped, a bit shocked at first, though speaking almost nonchalantly. “It’s my favorite thing to do whenever my husband is out of the house.”
Isaac’s eyes widened, he didn’t know whether or not Dewey was being serious. Everyone else’s faces twisted to nothing but pure and utter shock. Especially Hyuna’s.
“YOU’RE GAY??!” Mizi shouted, staring wide-eyed at Dewey.
“You do WHAT WHEN MY BROTHER'S NOT HOME?” Hyuna gasped, dropping her cards onto the table while inconveniently choking on her own laughter.
Dewey turned to look at Mizi, as well as the rest of the crew, all just as confused as her.
“You didn't know...? ” He said, dumbfounded, as he palmed his face from the sheer oblivion of his friends.
“NO…?” Mizi started, though was quickly cut off.
“We were ALL at the wedding??” Isaac chirped.
“We were???” She scratched her head in confusion, mumbling her words as if she was trying to remember literally being the officiant.
Dewey let out a sigh, and Isaac palmed his face.
"You helped Hyuna set us up... YOU said we would look good together... YOU HELPED ME PICK OUT THE RING??!" Dewey recounted, astounded by how forgetful she was appearing to be right now.
"Oh yeahhhh...!" Mizi hummed, remembering again as she seemed to ignore her previous reactions.
A silence filled the air for a moment, everyone exchanging awkward glances every other second.
“Anywho… one more question,” Isaac grinned at Dewey mischievously. “What are your thoughts and opinions on breeding?”
“WHAT.”