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Aylin dreams of craters to sleep in.
Snugly-fitting, her body, limp and fatigued from the world, rests in the crater’s nook. She initially flinched from its cold touch, much too electrifying, like a chill zapped into her spine. But the little nook beckons, and she soon finds warmth in it as the rounds wrap around her like a cosy bubble, sheltering her from the brutalities of the world.
“Alien!!!”
“Weirdo”
“E.T freak.”
The world is a vile and ruthless place, nowhere a safe haven for her who has a penchant for terrestrial beings and the otherworldly. She ignores the snide remarks about her eccentricities and tries to go about the day unnoticed and unbothered, but it is hard to when the world, her school, is a tightly-knitted web of social circles where you cannot evade interactions, and it is a place where anomalies stand out more often than not, (simply) for not fitting in, for causing a nick in the web of what could have been a perfect, functioning society.
So Aylin makes haste home, where beyond the spaceship-decorated door lies a universe she can find respite in. She dwells in the chill and soft humming of the aircon, watches the jellyfishes float along, suspended in the vacuum of her glass jar, as the luminous alien-shaped light glows and her planet-orbbed lights twinkle above her. She closes her eyes and dreams of a universe beyond the one that anchors her to disparaging comments by students and unnecessary, meaningless rules that define what a “good student”, “model citizen” should be.
Aylin dreams, and falls asleep in the arms of the moon’s warm embrace.
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As if life isn’t hard enough, Luna comes crashing into Aylin’s life, quite like an asteroid strike. The reverberations are unending, and Aylin doesn’t quite know how to stop it, much less get away from it. It blinds her, hot white and leaves her squinting, and she feels its seismic waves hit her, rolling over and over.
She ( politely ) coerces Aylin to join the school’s Astronomy Club, following her from the school’s corridor to library to even the rooftop, with some half-assed excuse of trying to “get some air”. Aylin wants none of this worldly nonsense, snaps at Luna “to get fresh air somewhere else”, but to no avail. Luna is persistent and hangs onto the firm belief that Aylin will be the reason the club is saved from its potential dissolution.
“I reopened the astronomy club, because I too believe that we are not the only ones in the universe.”
Aylin is faced away from her, but her ears are perked up at the slightest idea someone would finally be able to understand her. Luna comes closer, looks at her from her side and smiles a smile that sends a little feeling down her chest she can’t quite pinpoint yet. Aylin continues to fiddle with her remote controller designed to connect with terrestrial beings from space.
“Exploring space on your own can be lonely. Do you want to explore it with me?”
Aylin looks away, but Luna rushes off to class, just narrowly missing the quirk of an eyebrow and tug of Aylin’s lips that show how she is now considering this pretty enticing proposal.
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The worst part is Luna doesn’t leave her side, even when by forecast and prediction with her human statistics, she should have, quite some time ago. Aylin is weird and a freak. So why is Luna still here?
After snatching the photos taken by P’Alpha in the council room and perusing them, Aylin is adamant about finding the source of the eerie-green light that emits in one of the classrooms tucked in the corners of the school building. She is certain aliens will be there to greet her, invite her up to their UFO and bring her to a space she can find comfort in. She starts unloading her belongings in the Astronomy Club’s room, ready to spend the night in school against her teacher’s permission. Luna catches her red-handed, and Luna too, is adamant in going with her. Aylin is annoyed, because why won’t this girl just leave her alone? And yet when Luna firmly states “I’m coming with you. I want to see more aliens, I want to see if they’re as stubborn as you,” Aylin can’t help but shyly look down, and suddenly she is a little more excited at the prospect of finding her friends, but with the company of the school’s favourite senior.
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It’s a mess.
It’s ruined.
Aylin throws Luna’s hand aside, ignoring Luna’s shocked gasp and slumps on the school’s concrete ground in defeat after narrowly escaping the security guard who was chasing down all the students who were trying to uncover the Mystery of the Green Light.
“Everything’s gone wrong. I thought I would get to see my friends,” Aylin says as she sobs into the ground.
“Then let’s be friends.”
“I don’t want to be your friend, human-senior.”
“Who said I was human?”
Aylin looks up, confused. What is this popular well-liked senior, with looks to die for, high up in the rungs of the social hierarchy, trying to say?
Luna continues, “I am a moon. An alien can be friends with a moon right?”
Luna sticks out her pointer finger, in true E.T. fashion, and reaches out for Aylin’s. Aylin feels a tiny spark zip from Luna’s to Aylin’s fingertip. She smiles a glowingly-blinding crescent smile at Aylin.
Maybe the night wasn’t that ruined after all.
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Comet crashes come and go, but Luna is the moon that seems to love orbiting around Aylin. If Aylin had known better, she would think Luna was flirting with her. But who’s she to know? She’s an alien with no heartbeat.
Until—
“What you take an interest in is cool. There’s no need to be embarrassed about it.
One day, you’ll find someone who shares the same interest as you…
Like right now. I also like what you like.”
She remembers when Luna started to peek around her room, like the little jellyfish floating about in her jar: boundless, free. She remembers extending her hand out, covering her eyes because she does not want Luna to be privy to her room, her identity, her innermost thoughts, her feelings . An arm’s length - lightyears away in another universe perhaps: Aylin wants that distance because it’s scary when she’s been alone for forever and suddenly someone manages to come close. She splits her fingers apart ever so slightly, Luna's bright eyes peeking from behind. It’s an itch Aylin just can’t seem to scratch off. It’s worse when the itch travels to her chest and feels a little prickle that makes her want to hear Luna say words like these over and over again.
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It’s worse when Luna comes crashing in at the most (in)opportune time, when juniors are awed by the Astronomy’s Club horoscope reading event that they want to change clubs. They turn to the only hapless soul, Aylin, by the club door and demand to change clubs.
“What are you doing? Why are you surrounding her like that?”
Aylin looks up, overwhelmed and trembling, to find Luna in her midst, with P’Alpha sternly reminding them they are only allowed to make swaps next semester. Luna runs over, and the breeze that accompanies her envelopes Aylin in a warm fuzzy way as she softly asks “are you ok?” But she is much too in shock to process anything, and runs away after mumbling about how she shouldn’t be talking to humans.
Luna crashes into her right again when junior year bullies march their way to Aylin in the quiet library and tease her about her nickname while showing her a mocking drawing of her as an alien, before snarkily requesting for her to help them put back their library books while they muck around elsewhere. The rest of them snicker about her and Aylin freezes, the noise drowning her inside out.
Luna is livid.
She stomps over where Aylin sits, frozen solid and mum, her voice reverberating in the silence of the library, “What are you doing?”
“You are too old to be this childish.”
“You think it’s cool to harass other people?”
Aylin’s eyes dart around as she becomes more overwhelmed by the commotion.
“What a loser. If I could just punch—” A fist is raised, and she doesn’t think she has seen Luna this angry. And for her .
“Human-senior, stop. It’s a library, keep your voice down.”
“Why should I?” Everyone should know that this bunch of youngsters think it’s cool to mock and harass others. Just because she doesn’t respond means that you can do that.” Luna turns to the bullies, huffing, as she ends her sentence.
“I’m sorry,” the boy, now embarrassed and head hung low, scrambles to leave with his peers, but not before Luna ends her fierce monologue with a “Don’t let me catch you doing this again.”
Aylin leaves in a rush to a corner in the library and Luna follows after. Aylin confronts her for being loud, as if the more she asks the lame questions, she will be able to ignore the growing beating in her chest.
“You shouldn’t put up with things like this.”
“I don’t care. I’m an alien, they can’t hurt me.”
“Ok, if you don’t care then I’ll be the one who cares. We’re friends after all, remember? You know there are lots of holes on the moon?”
Aylin can only nod quietly, astounded by what Luna is saying. A heart quietly pulses.
“Maybe… They are shelters for aliens to hide from danger.”
Her heart beats louder, and Luna’s eyes draw galaxies beyond the browns of her pupils. She blinks slowly in steadfast promise and Aylin can imagine herself, a terrestrial being, suspended in that warm galactic vacuum.
Aylin feels like she dreams too in the real world.
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Aylin doesn’t know how, but suddenly she’s included in the school’s social events. The worst part? A tiny (moon-crater) part of her actually enjoys it.
She is busy with shredding blue raffia strings to make pompoms for the annual Sports Day. Seated just a little off from Luna’s side, she’s completely forgotten about the social anxiety she usually has, and quietly goes about tearing apart the strings and passing them to Luna to bound into a pompom.
Until Tinh breaks the peaceful silence.
“Aylin, aren’t you on the Green team?”
Charoen shushes Tinh and chides him for being insensitive. They both look over at Aylin, Charoen in concern, Tinh in guilt.
Aylin fiddles with her raffia string nervously. Yes, w-why am I here?
“Well… I like the Blue team.” And she looks over to Luna like she’s the whole Blue team. Luna, who encompasses all of her mind recently and she doesn’t know why. Luna who lets her feel little fingertip zaps and a steady heartbeat, and it’s too un-alien, too human, too much connection to this world, supposedly too much and too uncomfortable.
But Luna makes it feel just enough.
“I like the Blue team, too.”
Luna whispers back, smiles into her palms.
Luna makes her feel enough.
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Something in her veins compels her to ask Luna out to watch the meteor shower.
No, it has nothing to do at all with Teacher Bam Bam sharing the story about how their first school principal got married after confessing to his lover during a meteor shower, and so couples who watch it together will experience a lucky love life.
Why is it so hard to be human?!
Aylin huffs in exasperation when she throws 2 scrunched up papers torn out from her notebook with the pink-inked “Will you watch the stars with me?” completely out of Luna’s direction and sight, the paper balls falling limply on the sides of the bleachers Luna sits away from.
She composes herself and with a final grunt of determination, walks over to Luna and puts the balled up paper on her side, puffing out cutely. What was supposed to be a distant attempt at asking the senior out now brings her closer to her than ever.
“Oh? Wh-?”
Luna only catches a glimpse of Aylin scurrying away. She picks up the squished paper ball, unravels it to find what she will now deem as the most romantic way to ask someone out. She sees Aylin peek her head back onto bleachers, and slowly make her way back to her. Face to face with Luna again.
“That’s cute.”
Me? A blush creeps up Aylin’s face and she twiddles her fingers, eyes darting about to try and ease the nervousness.
“Rooftop. Only the two of us ok?” Aylin tries to be as assertive as she can be while she dons an alien cap and a trembling lip.
“Only the two of us.” Luna gleams back, looks at Aylin as if she’s the only one who matters in the world. Aylin can’t hold back a smile at the affirmation but jolts back in surprise when Luna goes further to assert that “It’ll be like a date.”
Aylin is a ball of nerves as her mind gets sent into an overdrive, suddenly filled with thoughts of all things and activities human.
Like a human mouth on a human mouth.
Suddenly she’s no longer consumed with wondering why humans would want to do that. She wants to try it.
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The concrete floor feels cold to the touch and the night breeze raises the hairs on Aylin’s arms. Yet seated beside her date for the night, the stars flickering brightly above them, swathes of meteors fall swiftly at intermittent intervals and Aylin smiles in contentment and awe.
Luna excitedly points to and catches the fall of a meteor and asks Aylin to make a wish together. Aylin looks over to see Luna closing her eyes and clasping her hands before silently making a wish.
Blink and you would miss a falling meteor.
It feels a lot like realising she has feelings for Luna.
Aylin once learnt that a meteor shower happens when the Earth passes through the path of a comet. When this happens, the bits of comet debris, called meteors, create streaks of light in the night sky as they burn up in Earth's atmosphere. And so Luna came crashing into Aylin’s space bubble, wrapped her up in cosmic embrace and set something alight in Aylin’s heart, throbbing so blissfully to the curve of Luna’s crescent smile that seems to only be reserved for her.
Too much. Tingling in her veins. Tingling in her heart.
She begins taking a chalk and writing on the ground.
“Why are you writing on the floor?”
“I'm making a wish in Morse code.”
Luna picks her phone up to decipher the code. Aylin stares ahead blankly, heart beating out of her chest and pupils scampering.
“I love U?” Luna turns her head so fast Aylin thinks from her corner of eyes she might have suffered from whiplash.
“Human-senior, tell me, how do you feel about me?”
She’s probably imagined a million alternate universes of what could possibly be Luna’s response, but none comes quite close to this. Luna kneels up, leans over so quickly she has no time to react before she feels a kiss pressed to her cheek. Firm. But also soft. Very soft.
Aylin thinks she could get used to this.
Surprised, though, still, she hunches up her shoulders, jaw dropped and pupils wide open. She is unable to react when Luna seems to want one in return. Luna calmly, tenderly brings her back to Earth, joining their pointer fingers together. The little zaps happen again. Tingling in her fingertips. Tingling in her veins. Tingling in her heart. It’s not a tingling that electrifies but warms, a soft incandescent glow that reminds her of far-away dreams where she nestles herself along the milky way, tucked snugly into the moon’s hollow.
It feels a lot like home.
It feels a lot like love.
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Back in the safety and comfort of her room, decked in their pyjamas, Aylin reads to Luna a book about the skies and galaxies. She rambles on and realises the most beautiful galaxy is really right next to her. So Aylin leans in with as much bravado as she can put up, an arm extended to pull Luna close by the neck, because there’s an ardent longing in the recesses of her heart (and also that whole human thing about human mouths) that needs to feel the answer. She smells muted tones of sakura from the soap Luna used when showering, and a hint of mint from her toothpaste. She presses in as softly and slowly as she thinks she can, and cumulus clouds in the sky could never compare to the way Luna feels against her lips. She can hear her heart beating in her ears, but she can also feel the pounding of Luna’s heartbeat on the length of her neck. That gives her the confidence she’s done something right and it spurs her on, angling her head a little more to the right as she presses deeper. Luna’s gasp is hushed and she reciprocates, leaning in and kissing Aylin back with more fervour than before. It’s nothing too much: languid and loving.
Just enough.
They pull apart and there’re quiet pants, meteor showers in Aylin’s veins, twinkling in Luna’s eyes.
Luna makes her feel just enough.
Luna makes her feel galaxies.
It's space-cold in her room, the aircon droning on and on and the jellyfish jar bubbles away softly, but nestled in Luna's arms, Aylin feels warmer than ever. Tucked underneath the sheets, her inflatable aliens beside her and Luna holding her close, breath hot against her neck, Aylin sleeps soundly.
Aylin no longer feels the need to dream.