Chapter Text
Baji Keisuke didn’t sleep very well normally. He never could fall asleep fast enough and was always grouchy in the mornings. Not to mention the nightmares. However, tonight was supposed to be different. He had just been in a fight, so he was nice and worn out, and he had even drunk some warm milk! But nope, he couldn’t fall asleep.
Because some asshat was playing booming ass music!
Baji’s fingers kept curling into fists, until he was so fucking annoyed that he jumped out of bed, slammed every door open, and stomped downstairs. He was going to fucking kill this asshole.
Diffused light shone over the stairs as Baji’s slippers slid against the concrete steps. The music got louder and louder as he stepped onto the lower floor. The lyrics were muffled, but it didn't stop the song form being so fucking annoying .
A bug flew past Baji as he held his ear to each door he passed. Who was playing this music?
About halfway through the doors, Baji pressed his ear against one, and yes here it was, the asshole with bad music. He looked at the number before kicking open the door and—
Wait a fucking second.
This was Chifuyu’s apartment .
The fuck??
Baji quickly felt behind the letter box next to the door, pulling out the key, and letting himself inside. Once inside, Baji scowled. It was so much louder in here. Fucking stupid. But, annoyance (and maybe a little bit of worry, because Chifuyu had never played music this late, especially on a school night , what the fuck had happened—) pushed him forward.
“Chifuyu? Is everything all right?” Baji slowly opened Chifuyu’s door, peering and seeing..
Chifuyu crying?! Baji froze, his foot still in the air. What had happened ? Baji pushed his way further into the room. Chifuyu continued sobbing, curled up in his bed away from Baji. Baji felt an unfamiliar seed of anxiety plant itself into his stomach.
Sniffling sounded from Chifuyu’s bed. Baji was now almost standing right over Chifuyu’s pitiful form, which was probably the only reason he was able to hear the whispered, “ I thought it was true love .”
Baji tapped Chifuyu’s shoulder, but the blonde didn’t seem to notice. Fuck .
Baji quickly spun on his heel, rushing into the kitchen and grabbing a snack bar and a glass of water. Right now, he was going to make sure Chifuyu wasn’t miserable when he came back to himself. Right now, he was not going to think about why exactly Chifuyu was heartbroken, and why Baji hadn’t known that—
The cup started overflowing, the cold water rushing over Baji’s hand and snapping him out of his fugue. He tsk-ed, and walked back into Chifuyu’s room, careful this time to not disturb him. He left the food and water on Chifuyu’s nightstand, and then softly closed the door.
As soon as Baji got back into his room, however, he exploded .
WHO THE FUCK HAD BROKEN CHIFUYU’S HEART?!
Baji paced around his room, turning circles and circles and circles like a trapped tiger. This was fucking serious. The only hurt that Chifuyu should ever have would be caused by gang -related-violence . Not—not something like this! Not emotional hurt . This was underhanded. A despicable act by a dishonorable coward that deserved to die .
Now all Baji needed to do was find out who the fucker was and kill them . (Not literally, of course. He wasn’t going to do something that was like—Shinichiro. Obviously).
But either way he was going to make whoever fucking rejected an angel on earth wish they were dead.
(In the back of Baji’s mind, something whispered that the overwhelming anger in his stomach might be partly jealousy, but he quickly slapped that whisper away). Right now, he needed to focus. Who rejected Chifuyu .
Baji yawned as he got out a piece of paper. He looked at the clock, and quickly concluded that he would not be getting any more than an hour of sleep tonight.
Now, he needed to figure out who was close enough to Chifuyu to seduce him.
Hm…
Chifuyu had become suspiciously close to that fucker Take-something-something recently. Baji grounded his teeth together. If that shitweed had rejected him… he was gonna be so sorry. No matter if Mikey and Draken thought he was nice, that nerd was not nice.
Other people… hmm. There was a girl that was always glaring at him. She was also in Chifuyu’s class. That was plausible. But… she was so lame . Not cool at all. She wasn't even in a gang! Chifuyu… could he really be in love with her?
Of course, if he was going by coolness… Mitsuya and Yazuha had been hanging out with Chifuyu a lot at arcades for the last month. One of them definitely could’ve stolen Chifuyu's precious heart during that time. They'd be hard to beat up, but no matter. He would do it.
Baji fumed as he finished the list of shaky kanji. Only two and a half hours until school. Fuck .
Baji was going to bed.
—
Once morning came, in its horrifying brutality, Baji rolled out of bed with a groan and grabbed the crumpled paper that had drifted to the ground. He frowned as he scooped dry cereal into his mouth, and continued frowning as he walked downstairs.
“Baji-san!” Baji’s frown was immediately alleviated as Chifuyu opened up his apartment. Ah, Chifuyu was the best. Poor Chifuyu.
“Yo.”
Chifuyu didn’t look Baji in the eyes as they walked down the last flight of stairs, but as they opened the condominium door, Chifuyu suddenly spoke up, “Baji-san… you probably want uh… an explanation for last night. I found the water and food you left for me, so—”
“You don't need to explain anything, it’s fine,” Baji quickly cut in, his mood souring. This conversation was just a harsh reminder of Chifuyu’s pain, and how useless Baji had been so far in helping.
Chifuyu just laughed awkwardly in response, and then sped up, not even getting his usual onigiri at the 7-11 they passed on the way to school.
Once they got to school, however, everything changed. It seemed that everyone was trying to seduce Chifuyu.
Exhibit One: Chifuyu and Baji were entering school, stepping up the entrance, when Chifuyu’s foot caught. His eyes widened as he fell, waving his arm dramatically. Baji, obviously, quickly stepped forward with his arm outstretched to catch Chifuyu. But Chifuyu, instead of being safely caught by Baji, fell straight into the chest of a random girl . It was a scene straight out of Chifuyu’s shoujo. The beautiful, wide eyed main character, crashing into the arms of their future spouse, who would ask in a handsome voice, are you alright?
“Are you alright?” FUCK! The girl even said the lines in a handsome voice!!
Of course, Chifuyu was still heartbroken by the yet-to-be-pummeled asshole, so he didn’t fall for her, simply muttering that he was fine. The girl quickly left, probably dejected that Chifuyu wasn’t interested in them. Anyone would be.
And, as regular as this may seem by itself, there was still…
Exhibit Two: As Baji walked with Chifuyu to his classroom, glaring at anyone that seemed to want to approach Chifuyu and make his day worse, Baji glanced over and saw… him. Ugly-Face .
That bastard had been trying to seduce Chifuyu all year, not that Chifuyu noticed. Chifuyu had even brought up how annoying Ugly-Face was a few weeks ago, ranting about how ‘He always asks me the most annoying questions about how my day is going and if I’m hanging out with you today, like fuck off dude, just use your fucking eyes! I always hang out with Baji-san!’
Baji’s patience was wearing thin by then, and he quickly realized that, with so many lovestruck fools vying for Chifuyu’s heart, it was going to become very difficult to find the one person who had seduced and then rejected him. Which brings us to…
Exhibit Three: Chifuyu had already gone to his and Baji’s place in the courtyard when a fashionable guy walked up to him and smiled. Obviously, this was normal. Chifuyu could make anyone smile. Honestly, it was a surprise that Chifuyu hadn’t already collected a harem or something. But then, the fashionable guy—who was looking less and less fashionable to Baji the longer that he stood in front of Chifuyu—bowed and stretched out his hand, holding a card .
That was it.
Baji, who had previously been simply strolling towards the unfashionable guy and Chifuyu, started speedwalking . (Yes, that meant he was still walking, but it also meant he was going faster without seeming like a weirdo to Chifuyu). Baji quickly arrived behind the gaudily-dressed guy, and shoved him out of the way, quickly sitting next to Chifuyu.
“Ah, Baji-san!” Chifuyu smiled up at Baji, which made Baji feel a little flustered (because who wouldn’t) and also made him feel quite superior to the disgusting guy in front of him, who had earned nothing more than a polite smile and none of Chifuyu’s respect.
Baji smiled at Chifuyu in response. “Wanna leave?”
Chifuyu tilted his head, and replied, “Sure.”
The downright-horrifyingly dressed guy watched them leave with a forlorn expression.
Baji and Chifuyu skipped the rest of the school day.