Chapter Text
Sometime in the fresh beginning, when the boys were still getting the wraps of being a trio together and relationships had yet to be established....
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Kane had been unusually under the weather as of late, and it was starting to affect the things around him, and that included the people around him too. Kane, in his paranoia, had concerns that his buddies might start catching on to his troubledness, so he stopped showing up to hangouts with them.
It was a bit of a ritual for him to be awoken by Leland sometime during the AMs, and they would talk for a while at Kane’s apartment(that Leland often welcomed himself into), and then they would leave and go visit Finn for a bit. Kane typically stayed longer than Leland, who usually hung around for an hour or so. This occurred nearly daily, so Kane’s repeated absence caused some questioning. The first few were just some doubts, while Kane insisted that he was simply just sick, but the longer it went on, the more unsure Kane appeared about his answers. Kane should’ve known better than to think that he could get away with bluffing to two spies, he was a spy himself after all. However, it didn’t help that Leland and Finn were some of the most advanced spies, and probably caught on a lot sooner than Kane intended.
Leland, had once more barged his way into Kane’s apartment, and, to his surprise, Kane was already awake and hanging out in his little apartment kitchen. Kane lived in quite a small apartment, and if you stood in the living room of it and stretched your arms out and spun around, you could nearly touch every wall, give or take a foot or so. The kitchen was about a similar size as well.
“Kane?” Leland quietly called out, not wanting to be too loud so early in the morning.
Kane ever so slightly turned his head to the side, indicating that he heard Leland, but he didn’t respond any further than that.
Leland stepped forward with a bit of a worried look on his face, “Kane, are you alright?” he asked once more.
“Mm..” Kane mumbled out, staring down into his cup of water, messily trying to swirl it around, and taking a sip from it. “I’m good,” Kane wasn’t even trying to be convincing anymore.
Leland huffed and sighed at Kane’s meek response, crossing his arms, “Kane…” Leland wasn’t even sure of what he wanted to say, and his words trailed off. Kane still understood what he wanted through the silence.
Kane visibly took a deep breath, his eyebrows furrowed and some sort of emotion seemed to be cracking out, whether he wanted it to or not.
Leland wanted to say something, but he didn’t want to accidentally be making his friend feel guilty in the process. He wanted to tell Kane about how he and Finn missed him, that it felt off when Kane’s presence was gone. Even if Kane was a bit quiet on the verbal side, something about the house had a bit of a lack-luster feeling to it. Not hearing the TV flip through channels and seeing Kane only letting each channel play for a second till he changed it, and did this until something caught his eye, Kane wandering about and poking and prodding at all the different things laying around, Kane staring at the stairs to the second floor like it was some mystical passage way that only people with a certain right could access, Kane just being…Kane. Even if Leland had visited Finn’s house in the same fashion ages before Kane came around, Kane had been incorporated into it now, he was a part of the process and skipping over a step felt wrong.
“Hi, Leland.” Kane mumbled, greeting Leland after all the silence that they were sitting through.
“Hi, Kane.” Leland had paused for a moment, mulling over his thoughts, “You coming? We wouldn’t want to be late,” he commented, as though there was nothing different than their usual routine. Leland sat himself down on the small sofa Kane had, wanting to ease up any pressure that Kane might be feeling. Many things in Kane’s flat were Kane sized, so everything felt a bit small to Leland, who was nearly a foot taller than Kane.
“Leland,” Kane had held his breath through his statement, “I don’t wanna go.” He could feel his own heart ache at the situation.
“Why not?” Leland asked, visibly concerned. “Kane,” he said, getting up, not being able to sit still, “What’s going on? You always want to visit Finn, and you enjoy our little trips over to his place, what’s wrong?” You could hear the soft concern in Leland’s voice. Him and Kane would take different methods of going to Finn’s house. Sometimes driving, sometimes walking, sometimes going by transit, and every time they would spend the whole trip there laughing and talking over things.
Kane was having to mentally argue with himself over opening up or not. He wanted to so badly tell Leland everything and spill about how he was feeling unwell, about how he wasn’t physically sick per se, but it was more so something else. He wanted to be able to air out his woes, but his past was messing with his perception of what might really actually happen.
Leland sat down at one of the bar stools set at a small bar that separated Kane’s kitchen from his living room, not taking his eyes off of Kane.
Kane sighed, giving in. Leland was his friend, and quite a good one, it was probably in his best interest to trust that Leland was going to be kind, or at least honest in his response. “Leland,” Kane began, visibly anxious, “I… I don’t want to go to Finn’s because I don’t want him to have to see me like this,” Kane had stumbled over his words a little, intentionally avoiding eye contact, as opposed to how he is just naturally bad with it.
Leland seemed nearly relieved at Kanes answer. Even if he was a spy, he was still only human, and hearing Kane’s answer put all his other ponderings to rest. “You don’t want him to see you like what?” Leland asked.
Kane gnawed at the corner of his lip, getting mixed feelings over whether he wanted to talk about this or not., “I just…” Kane paused, trying to find words for his feelings, “This. I don’t wanna have to be seen like this. I just don’t feel good at all about myself and I don’t want Finn to have to see me so unwell.”
“Kane, wouldn’t you want Finn to go to you if he was feeling unwell?” Leland gently asked, and when Kane responded with a quick glance at him, he continued, “Kane, Finn wants to take care of you, he loves you. That man would probably enjoy it more than you think.” Leland had an entire speech of what he wanted to say in response to Kane’s problem, but Kane was already looking quite convinced.
Kane couldn’t help but admit it sounded very fitting for Finn’s personality. Finn just seemed like someone that wanted to spoil someone special and close to him. Plus, Leland had a point. Kane would want Finn to go to him if he was upset, Kane should probably do the same in return. Even though the three of them were quite close, Kane had yet to entirely reveal how emotional he can really be. He would let his mask slip every now and then to test the waters, but the worry of his full personality being too much for the people closest to him was a fear he had to fight tooth and nail to get over.
Leland anxiously studied Kane, trying to read what was going on through his head. “I won’t be there for long,” Leland said, incase that might convince Kane more, “I’ll be super quick, then you and Finn can have some private time allll to yourselves.” he nervously smiled, he just wanted to get Kane out of this stuffy cramped apartment.
Kane was nearly upset at the fact of how quickly he had been convinced, though a bit of it probably had to do with how much he missed going as well. Kane was hesitant to respond, but he could feel his want being pulled towards going, he just hoped that Finn wouldn’t be upset with him for it.
Kane must’ve made it aware that he was begging to change his mind, considering the big geniune grin that Leland had. Kane sighed and couldn’t help but smile.
“Okay, okay, I’m going, I’m going!” he said, putting his hands up in a playfully defensive manner and running off to his room to grab stuff he wanted to bring along, stifling any potential giggles. Kane had already been wearing his suit, after he had slept in it the previous night.
Leland squealed and clapped his hands joyously, “Oh good, Kane is back!” he cheered. Kane couldn’t help but shake his head at the other man’s response.
Leland was quick to push Kane out of the door and on the way to Finn’s house before any objections could begin to even consider festering. Leland didn’t want Kane to grow willing to turn back for a fraction of a second, so instead of their usual debate for what transport they should take for the day, Leland pushed Kane into his car and took off. Kane was nearly startled seeing Leland be in such a hurry and rush for something. Although Leland was incredibly punctual, he never seemed to be in too much of a rush to be getting anywhere.
This drive felt particularly short to Kane. Normally every trip felt short to Kane, as he was used to taking nearly 20 minute drives everywhere, but this one was an exceptionally short feeling. He felt his fingertips get a bit chilled, Kane would always send Finn a message letting him know they were on their way, and his instinct seemed to be reminding him of this habit. However, Kane felt a bit reluctant about it, nearly nervous over the idea of it and hesitated.
Out of panic, Kane sent a message stating: "Just in case you were wondering, I'm tagging along this time." And he anxiously stuffed his phone into his lap. He couldn’t tell if he regretted it or not. Regardless of if he did get a message in return, he couldn’t stand the thought of checking it at the moment.
Before Kane knew it, they were stopped outside of Finn’s house, and Kane peered at it like he’d never been there once in his life. Leland got out of the car and walked up to the door, and Kane followed suit. Kane couldn’t keep his hands still and anxiously fidgeted with the cuffs of his sleeves and messed with his own hair. Leland knocked the door knocker, and Kane stared at the doorbell buzzer that he always enjoyed messing with. He nearly wanted to burst the door open himself, he couldn’t stand the anxious waiting for a second longer.
The door open, and their routine greeting unfolded like it always has. Leland gave Finn a hearty hand shake, and Kane was always greeted with a hug. Kane saw Finn get a particular look in his eyes that he couldn’t identify, it nearly looked like surprise, but there was some warmth of familiarity to it. Finn tugged Kane into a hug more roughly than he normally would, and lightly kicked the door close behind them. Leland had already planted himself on the couch, figuring Kane and Finn would want to have their personal moment.
Kane almost felt like he didn’t have a right to wrap his arms around Finn and hug him back, and having his body pressed so closely to Finn’s, with the state he was currently in, made every insecurity make its way to Kane’s mind. But Finn’s comforting embrace had silenced everything. He had his face tightly nestled into Kane’s neck with his eyes tightly shut, and Kane could feel him take a deep breath and relax. Everything in Kane relaxed, he finally gave in, all the stubborn trauma in him had been defeated. He rested his head against Finn’s shoulder and wrapped his arms around Finn, slowly squeezing him.
Kane almost wanted to say something, part of him felt the urge to apologize for some inexplicable reason, but he remained silent. He couldn’t help but wonder what he was even ever worried about, why he hadn’t come here sooner. Finn was a gentleman for a reason, and it certainly wasn’t because he isn’t so soft and, well, gentle. He was already an incredibly kind man, it didn't help that he turned into a total sweetheart and his kindness and flattery doubled when he's with Kane.