Archive of Our Own

“If you’re going to want to dorm with me and the others, then forget about that shit,” Kevin said while narrowing his eyes.

Neil raised an eyebrow while he ate his chips, purposefully brushing the crumbs on his brother’s bed.

Neil, who was a senior at the local high school in South Carolina and was graduating next month, received his Palmetto State University acceptance letter in the mail only a few weeks ago. With his horrifyingly traumatic backstory on a piece of paper, average grades, and being an Exy prodigy at only eighteen, it gained him a spot on the roster and an Exy scholarship along with it. Even though Kevin, Neil’s older brother, reminds him that because of his own popularity and Exy stats, the university was obligated to allow his younger brother in too. Neil just ignored him, someone has to humble Kevin, and that someone was Neil.

“Who said I was rooming with you?” Neil smirked, taking a bite out of a chip dramatically. Kevin glared at his younger brother because of the crunch. It wasn’t satisfying in any way; if anything, it was extremely obnoxious.

“Ugh. Whatever, also stop eating like that.” Kevin rolled his eyes once he caught Neil's devious smirk. Victory.

"Mom! I’m going out,” he yelled out of his and Neil’s shared room. Once Kevin left for university, Neil felt grateful that he would have the room to himself, though staring at the other bed beside him only made him miss his brother more.

“Okay!” Abby, their mother, shouted back. “Take your brother with you!”

“What?” Kevin’s eyebrows raised in disbelief. He was always around Neil, and in the past, Abby let him go out without him, but why now does she want him to go?

“Yeah, Kevin. Bring your brother with you,” Neil teased; he didn’t want to go with Kevin. He didn’t even know where he was going, but just to spite his brother, he put on a white hoodie and waited for Kevin to leave their room first.

“But mom!” Kevin whined, stepping into the living room.

“Listen to your mother,” David, their father, said. He didn’t care if his children were together or not; he only stepped in when the two brothers tried defying Abby.

“Mooooooom,” Kevin whined again.

“Keeeeevin.” Abby chuckled. “Take Neil with you.”

“Fuck,” Kevin said under his breath.

“Kevin swore.” Neil pointed at his older brother.

“Wow, Kevin.” Abby rolled her eyes.

“I’m literally twenty.” Kevin glared at Neil. “I’ll say fuck if I want to.”

“Can you two just leave already?” Wymack said, cracking open a beer and sitting down on the couch next to Abby. Kevin rolled his eyes, but he listened to his father and made for the door. Neil followed shortly after, grabbing a can of Coke from the fridge with him.

“Get in,” Kevin demanded, opening the car door and inserting his keys in the ignition to start it up. The car turned on with a roar while Kevin was switching radio channels. Neil sat in the passenger seat, adjusting the seat so it would fit his height. Kevin most definitely had someone who was taller, like Jeremy or Jean, in this seat. Neil pushed the seat forward and pulled down the wing mirror so that the setting sun wouldn’t hit his eyes.

“I was going to go to Jere’s house to get ready for a party; guess you’re coming along too,” Kevin said while pressing on the gas so that the car would leave the driveway.

“Sorry to cockblock, I guess,” Neil said unapologetically.

“You’re not sorry.” Kevin glared at his brother.

“I’m not,” Neil confirmed.

Kevin and Jeremy have been a couple for almost three months now; that’s three months more than Neil initially expected. Though Jeremy was a nice guy, he visited for spring break and gave the entire Wymack family gifts, including a brand new Exy racket for Neil (which he still uses). Jeremy was a good match for Kevin; his good sportsmanship didn't clash with Kevin's competitiveness. It only made their teamwork on the court and love for each other even stronger. Neil was a fan of their relationship; he has said this before to Jeremy, but never to Kevin.

“Jeremy was asking about you.” Kevin eyed Neil.

“What did he say?” Neil asked. He did want to get closer with Jeremy; he was a good friend to have and an exceptional Exy player.

“He was wondering if you got into PSU. I told him it was a surprise; you can tell him yourself once you get there.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Jean’s going to be there too.”

Jean was Kevin’s best friend from high school; he visited the Wymack’s frequently and has been playing Exy with Kevin ever since freshman year. Jean is an exceptional backliner and gives Neil tips whenever he has to play backliner (he plays striker mostly, but sometimes he fills in for defensive roles). When Jean and Kevin found out they were both attending PSU with an Exy scholarship, they started hanging around each other more often. Jean also introduced Kevin to Jeremy, so Kevin basically owns the Frenchman his life.

“Oh good. I’m not third-wheeling.” Neil sighed in relief. Kevin just shook his head, smiling.

“We’re here,” Kevin said, parking the car in Jeremy’s driveway.

After getting accepted into PSU, Jeremy (who has a job at the local public pool) and his parents put together money so that he could get his own flat. Sometimes Kevin spends time in his house, but he has his own dorm with three others. Kevin doesn’t really talk about the other two roommates, but he mostly complains about his third: Andrew Dobson.

Andrew Dobson, number three, is a top goalie in the college Exy League while only being a freshman (although Kevin constantly complains about how he doesn’t try during the games). Neil has watched some PSU Exy games in person but has mostly watched them on the TV. Neil thought that whenever Andrew did put his heart into the game, he was amazing.

Neil has never seen the blonde boy up close; he mostly watched the strikers and the opponent team to pick up strategies for his own games; the goalkeepers were the least of his concerns. All he knew was that Andrew was blonde, short, and (according to Kevin) obnoxious.

Kevin lost it whenever Dobson would let goals in on purpose. The team knew this too, based on their indifferent reactions to Andrew moving out of the way simply to piss off Kevin. Watching Andrew made Neil surprised that someone so good at something just doesn’t care at all. A universe where Neil doesn’t like Exy seemed to never exist; his obsession exceeded parallel worlds.

(“Andrew plays loud music; Andrew did this in practice; Andrew…” was all Kevin talked about. Neil was convinced that Kevin was obsessed with the shorter man, but Kevin quickly denied it with a punch to Neil’s shoulder.)

Neil wonders if he’ll ever see the goalkeeper around once he attends Palmetto in the fall, especially since he’s planning to dorm with Kevin. Would he be as annoying as Kevin insists, or was Kevin blind?

“We’re here,” Kevin said, parking the car in Jeremy’s driveway. The brothers got out of the car and went up to Jeremy’s door. Kevin knocked twice, and at the second time, his boyfriend answered.

“Kev!” Jeremy beamed, then glanced down at Neil. “Hey, Neil.”

“Hey,” Neil greeted, looking away from Kevin and Jeremy, giving each other a peck. He’d rather be tortured than see his brother kiss someone.

“Come in,” Jeremy said, moving out of the way to let the brothers in.

In Jeremy’s dorm, it was quite clean; he had posters, a huge closet, and a neatly made bed. Jean was lying down on the bed, texting somebody on his phone; most likely his girlfriend based on the grin on his face. He glanced up at three and gave a slight smile.

“So? Neil. College decisions?” Jeremy asked, sitting down on the bed but not before moving Jean’s leg out of the way.

“Roll foxes.” Neil grinned.

“Oh shit, actually?” Jeremy’s eyes widened.

“Yeah,” Neil confirmed. Jeremy got up and hugged Neil. The fake-blonde did give really good hugs. When they met for the first time, Jeremy awkwardly put his hands out to give Neil a hug, though Neil doesn’t necessarily do that to strangers (blame the trauma), so he just stared at Jeremy. Looking back at it, Neil sort of felt bad, but now that they were closer, Neil allowed the hugs.

“And on Exy scholarship,” Neil said, hugging Jeremy back.

“Of course, I can’t wait to see you. Hopefully you’ll replace your brother as the queen of Exy,” Jeremy teased.

“Hey!” Kevin pouted.

"Oh, I will.” Neil smirked, letting go of Jeremy.

“Surprised you even got in; you would call me at one in the morning for history help,” Kevin said smugly.

“Hey!” Neil narrowed his eyes. “Not my fault; history is hard.”

“It’s really not,” Kevin said, rolling his eyes.

"Neil, are you coming to the party?” Jean spoke up from his texting.

“I guess,” Neil replied.

“Mom wanted me to bring him along.” Kevin rolled his eyes for the millionth time today.

“Neil’s an honorary freshman anyway.” Jeremy winked. “Want to borrow an outfit?” He asks, turning to Neil.

“Erm, yeah,” Neil said, his slight accent making an appearance. Living across the globe did wonders for his mental state and his choice in speech, his accent was mixed with British, German, and other countries. Though the most prominent was British, whenever somebody asked where he was from, he’d just say England instead of explaining that he had only been in the UK for a year.

“Here,” Jeremy said, digging into his closet to find a pair of black cargo pants and a purple shirt to match. He also brought out a black belt; both boys were nowhere near each other in size, though he was the better option since both Kevin and Jean were taller than Jeremy too.

“Thanks.” Neil smiled crookedly.

“No problem,” Jeremy smiled. “The bathroom is to the right.”

Neil took the clothes and made his way to the bathroom. The shirt was a bit large, but with the belt, the cargo pants were a good fit. Even though Neil wanted to be there to embarrass Kevin, he was a bit nervous about being in a place with so many people. When he traveled to different countries with his mother to escape his abusive father, Neil was always isolated from the general population. He always stayed inside, and whenever he had to be outside, he covered his face with a hood or a hat. Even though he was eighteen, he still hasn’t gotten used to the presence of people.

Neil went back to Jeremy’s room; Jean and Jeremy were already wearing their outfits for the party, and Kevin just put on one of Jeremy’s sweaters and called it a day. Jeremy smiled once he made eye contact with Neil, seeing that the outfit was a good fit.

“You look good, Neil. Let’s go,” Jeremy complimented, twirling his car keys. The four Exy players left the house and got in Jeremy’s white car. Kevin was in the passenger seat, while Neil and Jean sat in the backseat.

“Are you going to play backliner?” Jean asked Neil.

“I dunno,” Neil replied. “Whatever dad wants me to do.”

“I would like for you to play defense, but somebody has to knock Kevin out of his position; Seth’s not doing the trick.” Jean grinned mischievously.

“Jean!” Kevin huffed. "Jere, stop laughing!”

“Sorry! I can’t help it,” Jeremy said, wiping his tears while giggling.

“Kev, how much are you going to drink this time?” Jean teased.

“Too much; gonna try to forget Neil’s here,” Kevin joked.

“Wow,” Neil said sarcastically.

“Neil needs to be my brother, not yours,” Jeremy said.

“Right. I hate Kevin,” Neil agreed.

“You piece of—” Kevin started, but before he could even finish his sentence, Jeremy turned the music all the way up. The music blending in with the soft pitter-patter of the rain hitting the window created the perfect atmosphere for Neil to close his eyes just for a while.

Neil did not know how he got here.

One minute he was sleeping, and the next he was trying to not become deaf from all of the booming music. Surrounding him were his brother, Jeremy, Jean, and a small group of the Palmetto Exy foxes that Neil had never spoken to. He only knew names, not faces. Also, Neil didn’t really care about any of their introductions, so he just nodded along, pretending to pay attention. Neil was seriously starting to regret coming along.

"So, Neil, you’re joining the team next year?” A girl spoke up, most likely Dan Wilds, the captain.

“Uh, yeah.” Neil nodded. 

“What position?” The second tallest boy said, based on the bruise on his face (he got into a brawl with an opponent from USC the last game), he was Seth Gordon.

“Erm, I don’t know yet.” Neil looked around, everywhere but in the eyes of the upperclassmen. This conversation felt like an FBI interrogation rather than getting to know Neil.

“He plays striker and backliner,” Kevin explained, noticing the confused looks on the others’ faces.

“So, like, where are you from?” Allison Reyolds asked him. Neil knew her face already from the pictures on Kevin’s phone with her on it. She also does exceptional plays on the Exy field, though she could be harsh during the interviews.

“England.” Neil stuttered, his legs were shaking like crazy. Could they please stop looking at him?

“Just wondering; I couldn’t really recognize your accents. It’s kind of…unique?” Allison tried.

“Ally.” Renee glanced at her, giving an unspoken message. Neil knew Renee a little; they interacted a few times because she and Jean have been dating since high school. Both of them made a good match, but with Renee’s soft personality and Jean’s sarcastic one, it looked like they wouldn’t get along. However, they have enjoyed each other’s company for quite some time, not even thinking about leaving it.

The upperclassmen stared at Neil, trying to figure him out, trying to analyze him. The younger boy shifted uncomfortably; he couldn’t go to Mary to hide; he couldn’t go into the closet at the orphanage to hide; and he especially couldn’t hide behind his brother, who towered over most of the foxes in front of him.

Jeremy and Renee both looked at him with a kind smile on their faces, the fake blonde boy rubbing his shoulder for comfort, while Jean just gave Allison a confused look. Though looking closer, it was more angry than puzzled.

“How’d you get that?” Seth asked, narrowing his eyebrows while pointing at the left side of Neil’s face. The exact spot where there was a huge burn mark.

When Neil was adopted by the Wymacks, he learned to do regular house chores instead of learning how to search for exits and move silently. Once, while ironing his clothes, Neil suddenly had something he had never experienced before: a panic attack.

He couldn’t stand the sight of an iron. Not after Nathan Wesninski placed one on his son’s chest while he squirmed during a police investigation when Nathan was facing a charge for domestic violence. Neil can’t see irons the same, never again.

The iron hit his skin, burning away the flesh of Neil’s cheek while he cried. Not because of the pain, but because he thought he saw Nathan behind the machine. He will never use an iron again.
The burn made him self-conscious; it was a constant reminder of weakness and the PTSD Neil couldn’t shake away. The PTSD he gained from simply being in his father’s presence.

The mark was too huge; Neil couldn’t hide it. Even a hat couldn’t cover the burn spreading to his jawline like a disease. Abby said they were like battle scars, and Kevin said they made him look badass. But was that really true?

Neil just stared at Seth. Why would he give him the time of day? Why would he tell someone he just met his business?

Kevin’s face went dark in warning, “Seth.”

The two strikers did not have a relationship that consisted of sunshine and rainbows; there were brawls in and out of the court. They disagreed on everything from game strategy to studying methods. If you put the two in a room, they would come out with matching black eyes and at least one broken limb each. The weird comment towards Neil was going to cause something negative to brew in the air, and the younger boy did not want to witness any of it.

Neil huffed, ignoring the “wait, Neil!” from his brother and walking away from the posse of foxes towards the place opposite the entrance: the kitchen. Why did these people ask so many questions? Yes, Neil is sort of British. Yes, Neil is adopted. And yes, he didn't know what was going to come next. Neil didn’t expect Kevin’s friends to be so overbearing. It was good that Kevin defended him, but it wasn’t enough for Neil to stop the tears from running down his face.

The music was loud, and those screaming the song lyrics out of tune were louder. It all made Neil feel unsure—strange, even. He couldn’t imagine being that type of person. He couldn’t imagine leaving high school and transitioning to college life, especially since his brother was an Exy superstar and was a popular “campus crush.” Even though Neil has his own strengths in Exy and in school, sometimes he felt as if he was hiding behind his older brother’s shadow while not looking even remotely the same.

Would Neil be as good as Kevin? Would Neil make friends? Would Neil survive this frat house? Those were things that only the universe knew.

Neil sat down against the countertop of the kitchen; he couldn’t see who was above him on the dance floor or whoever was right next to him because of the auburn strands falling on his face and his rough, scarred hands making contact with his burnt face, hiding away the college students and the purple lights.

The smell of alcohol and smoke surrounded the room. Neil started choking, but it wasn’t from the strong aroma of a cigarette; it was because he was trying to hold in his sobs.

Neil felt something right beside him. Mary would be rolling in her grave once she found out that her son was not on high alert. But right now, Neil didn’t care who was next to him. He had to let out his emotions quickly and then move on. What he was feeling was stupid; there was no time for sadness, anger, or love while running. There was only time for strategy and instinct, something that Neil lost throughout his time with the Wymacks. He felt safe with them, but right now he needed to stay away from Kevin. Neil couldn’t stand him.

“You okay?” The voice next to Neil asked. The voice was monotony and raspy; and Neil picked up the smell of smoke and sweat, but the sweat might’ve been from the bodies grinding against each other on the dance floor. The boy stayed silent, waiting for Neil’s answer. He was almost convinced that the boy was speaking to somebody else. But Neil, a risk-taker, answered anyway.

“No! I’m not okay,” Neil cried, breaking out into tears again. He started sniffling, but the boy next to him didn’t dare touch him or comfort him. He just stayed there, waiting for something to happen. The boy didn’t ask where Neil was from, if his brother was really the Kevin Day, or why Neil was crying. He waited patiently. Neil thought it was kind of endearing.

The lights above the two shone different colors; the most prominent were black and purple even though those were far from the school’s colors. The music got louder, and Neil’s headache started getting worse. He felt drunk, but not in a happy way; he was miserable.

“Want some?” The boy broke the silence. Neil picked his head up so he could see what the guy was offering (as well as his face). From what Neil could tell, the boy was blonde, had a collection of piercings on his ears and eyebrows, and was wearing an all-black outfit, quite similar to Neil’s. He was pretty, and he was handing Neil a cigarette.

Now, Neil hasn’t smoked in a while, but he has done it. It was an unhealthy habit—a strange coping mechanism, if you will—for dealing with Mary’s death and living in an orphanage, waiting for adoption. The boys at the home had cigarettes that Neil would steal, and as he robbed people while on the run, he used some of the money to buy cigarettes at a nearby gas station. After being adopted by the Wymacks, he learned other strategies like scrapbooking (Neil makes his notebook covered in foxes and paw prints), talking about his feelings, and taking his anger out on the Exy field.

His parents forbid smoking cigarettes, so Neil hasn’t done so in fear that they would throw him out if he disobeyed them, even though that wasn’t the case. They loved him unconditionally, but he still couldn’t grasp that idea. He was an inconvenience to Mary; he was just another mouth to feed, and Nathan wanted to hunt him for sport.

Even though Neil was not allowed to, he took the cigarette from the blonde’s calloused fingers anyway. The two made eye contact during the exchange. It wasn’t awkward, like when strangers stared at Neil while he was bruised and bloodied. It wasn’t pity when nurses stitched him up after Mary’s death. It wasn’t analytical, like Kevin’s friends searching for Neil’s backstory through his eyes and skin. It was something comforting. The blonde didn’t utter a word, but his gaze alone made Neil feel something new.

“Thanks,” Neil said, sniffling. The blonde placed his black lighter on the cigar in Neil’s mouth while pretty boy’s golden eyes were staring into his blue eyes. It felt oddly intimate, but Neil didn’t mind. He took a hit, and the smoke left his nostrils, blending together with the smoke machines and the strange smell of weed throughout the frat house. Looking to his left, pretty boy was lighting the cigarette as well, but his stare never left Neil.

Pretty boy looked out of place in this setting; he seemed like a metal concert type of guy, assuming from the black Korn t-shirt he was wearing and his collection of silver rings. Neil wanted to know more about him, but he knew more than anyone not to pry.

“You go here?” The blonde said the burning cigarette was in between his lips while he moved his fingers to take a drag. Neil was mesmerized; even though the tears in his eyes made his vision blurry, he could still see how gorgeous the mystery boy was.

“No, next year,” Neil replied truthfully. He was trying to get rid of his pathological liar tendencies ever since he was adopted, and he also couldn’t resist lying to this man’s face. “You?”

“Freshman,” he said, looking up at the ceiling. The black and purple lights shone on the dance floor, this time making the atmosphere feel calmer. But maybe it was because of the pretty boy right beside him.

“I’m, uh, with my brother,” Neil clarified, his thick accent making an appearance, but the pretty boy didn’t bother asking Neil any questions about it.

Pretty boy hummed once again, but he still snuck glances at Neil. It made the younger boy feel warm.

“I’m with mine too,” pretty boy replied. Neil took another drag of his cigarette, and the boys couldn’t keep their eyes off each other. Neil wonders if pretty boy was staring at him for the same reason as he is.

“Out of all schools to go to, you pick this one?” The blonde asked with a hint of disgust.

Neil shrugged, wiping the tears that resided on his cheeks. “It’s closer to home, plus it’s the only school that offered an Exy scholarship.”

Pretty boy wrinkled his nose at the mention of the sport. Neil didn’t expect that sort of reaction. Exy was extremely popular, especially in America. Why did the mention of the sport make pretty boy turn green?

“Of course you’re an Exy junkie,” he said.

“Hey!” Neil’s voice cracked embarrassingly. The blonde turned away; at this angle, he could see his piercings along with the red tint of his ears. At the corner of Neil’s eye, he could see the slight upward movement of the boy’s lips.

“Now, why were you hiding, junkie?” Pretty boy asked. The now-yellow lights shone on the boy, making him seem more angelic, and making Neil want to kiss him even more.

Neil wanted to share all of his secrets with pretty boy, but it came with a price. “If you tell me why you’re hiding too.”

“Oh?” Pretty boy smirked, evidently interested. “Okay. I’m hiding from my cousin, who is trying to set me up with some guy.”

Pretty boy gazed at Neil, awaiting a response from him, as if Neil’s comment was going to ruin what they had right now.

Neil just nodded. “I’m hiding from my brother and his friends. They were being…overbearing.”

“And I’m not?” Pretty boy asked. His face was stern, but his golden eyes showed a hint of worry.

“No,” Neil immediately said. “We’re just getting to know each other. It’s different.”

Pretty boy nodded his head, taking another drag of his cigarette. Something strange was that he moved closer, but he left some distance between them. Their shoulders didn’t touch, but Neil could feel pretty boy’s breath and smell a hint of cologne. Neil wishes that the blonde boy could close the distance between them, but that might just be the high talking.

“What’s your favorite color?” Neil asked, immediately grimacing once he realized that was a stupid question. Though pretty boy somehow found it charming, his lips curled at the question, and his golden eyes met Neil’s icy blue for the millionth time tonight, but Neil still felt his heart drop and his chest go warm like it was the first time all over again.

“Guess,” pretty boy said simply.

“Pink?” Neil teased, looking pretty boy up and down. His entire outfit was different shades of black, from his piercings to his shoes.

Pretty boy huffed, which is the closest thing Neil will get to a laugh. “Black.”

“Of course.” Neil smiled, the first time he had done so since he arrived at the party.

“Of course,” pretty boy mocked. It felt like they'd been friends for years instead of just a few minutes. Neil wanted to get closer to the blonde; hopefully he feels the same.

“If you were in a zombie apocalypse, what is the first thing you’re doing?” Pretty boy asked. Neil started laughing so hard that he banged his head on the counter. Pretty boy tried stifling his laughter by biting the inside of his cheek once Neil started rubbing the back of his head in pain. He didn’t know if it was the high or the fact that he felt strangely comfortable around the blonde, but everything seemed funny.

“First thing I’m doing,” Neil giggled. “Is playing…Exy.”

Pretty boy shook his head while smiling. His dimples made Neil go crazy. “Really?”

“No—” Neil cut himself off by laughing. “Seriously, hah! Don’t laugh.” He whined. Pretty boy was covering his grin with his freckled hands; his cigarette was long ditched on the floor and somehow the air between them was just enough to increase their dopamine levels.

“Ha! Okay. Erm, stop laughing! Anyway, why did you pick Palmetto?” Neil raised an eyebrow. Pretty boy took his hand off his mouth, revealing his all-teeth smile along with his smiley piercing on to Neil, who melted at the sight.

Pretty boy looked down, eyeing the black converse Neil was wearing, and mumbled, “Stickball scholarship.”

Neil almost sprung up. “Exy? You play? What’s your position? What’s your favorite team?”

“One at a time,” pretty boy gave him a blank stare. “It’s my turn now.”

Neil slouched, looking everywhere but pretty boy. “Sorry.”

Pretty boy shrugged with indifference, he couldn’t care less. “Will you ever go to one of these parties again?” He asked, glancing at Neil.

Neil twisted the cigarette in between his pointer and middle fingers. Will he? Pretty boy asks good questions; they make Neil think. Even though he laughed at the zombie apocalypse question, it was something unique, just like pretty boy. Will Neil ever do this again? Not even an hour ago, he was crying and begging mentally for someone to take him home. But if he went home, he would’ve never spoken to pretty boy. It seemed that this party was both a blessing and a curse.

“I don’t know,” Neil admitted. Pretty boy nodded, finding his answer satisfactory.

“So, what Exy position do you play?” Neil asked, trying to keep his Exy statistics to himself to not scare pretty boy away.

Pretty boy now moved closer; now both of their shoulders were touching. Somehow, Neil’s boring personality and his obsession with Exy allowed the pretty boy to gain the confidence to move closer and never break eye contact with Neil. If it were anyone else, Neil would’ve left with an excuse, but he stared back. Neil was just as guilty.

“Goalkeeper,” pretty boy answered, positioning himself a good 45 degrees so that he was facing Neil.

“Oh.” Neil blushed. He didn’t expect to get this much attention from the boy. “That’s cool, really cool.”

“Mm,” Pretty boy mumbled. Were his eyelashes always this long?

Neil positioned himself much straighter; now that he wasn’t slouching, he realized that he was a few inches taller than pretty boy and that pretty boy was biting the fleshy part of his lips, almost drawing blood.

“Why do you like Exy so much?” Pretty boy asked. Neil didn’t know if it was delusion, but it looked like the blonde moved forward a bit. Most likely to hear Neil over the booming music or to smell the scent of ashtrays. The blonde was so close that Neil noticed the faint brown freckles peppered on pretty boy’s face. Neil also noticed faint cuts on his cheek and eyelids and his bleached eyebrows; one had a scar right through the middle. Somehow, these silly flaws made the pretty boy look perfect.

“I’ve been playing it ever since I was adopted. My family’s very pro-Exy, especially my brother,” Neil answered truthfully. He gave pretty boy two truths, but that’s okay, Neil just wanted him closer.

“Oh?” Pretty boy raised an eyebrow (the one with the scar). “I was adopted too.”

Now, that was something Neil didn’t expect. It’s not every day you run into another person from foster care, though Neil didn’t want to pry. Adoption stories were difficult—a tough pill to swallow. Even though the Wymacks adopting him was the best thing Neil had ever gotten, the memories of his days spent in the orphanage were engraved in his mind. He gained silly fears and enemies while in there; his stories were something Neil would never give away for free.

“Really?” Neil said in disbelief.

“Yes,” Pretty boy replied. “Tilda gave me and my brother up, but we were adopted by my mom. We started playing in middle school for an after-school club. Worst mistake of my life.”

“What? But Exy is so fun!” Neil exclaimed.

“To you, junkie,” pretty boy deadpans.

“I’m not a junkie.” Neil glared at the blonde.

“Okay.” Pretty boy rolled his eyes. “Anyway—”

“—It’s my turn.” Neil cut him off.

Pretty boy raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“It’s my turn,” Neil repeated.

“You’re taking this little game so seriously,” pretty boy stated. He was grinning, and his dimples made a quick appearance once again.

“I guess it's the competitiveness in me,” Neil smirked back.

“So this is a competition?”

“I guess now it is.”

“Okay.” Pretty boy leaned forward, his grin getting so large that Neil could see the smiley piercing and his sharp canines. “Shoot.”

Neil cleared his throat; he was so close that Neil felt warm all over his body, and it wasn’t from the summer South Carolina air; it was anxiety. But not the type while on the run—something different; something new.

“Why did you sit next to me?” Neil asked.
Pretty boy leaned back ('wait, come back’ Neil thought) and stared at Neil. It wasn’t a look of disgust, like the kids at school gave him for the burns on his face, or pity when the teachers caught him sleeping in class. It was like he was holding something back.

“You’ll hate me,” pretty boy assumed.

“Nothing's worse than foster care; just tell me,” Neil said in an attempt at a joke. He glanced down, looking at pretty boy’s hands. They were both small and chubby at the same time; they had freckles and healing paper cuts on them, and they had a large number of black and red rings on them.

“I wanted to blow you,” pretty boy admitted.

‘Wow.’ Neil thought before malfunctioning.

It wasn’t a sick prank or a lie. Neil could tell. The pretty boy’s lips were pierced, his eyebrows didn’t move, and his golden eyes never left Neil’s blue. The colorful lights shone on them once more while Neil processed this information.

“Do…” Neil stuttered, trying to find the right words. “Do you like me?”

Pretty boy scoffed, looking away. “You’re pushing it.”

“So, like, wait. Wait, look at me.” Pretty boy obeyed, his golden eyes looking at Neil’s blue with an emotion he couldn’t put his finger on.

“You were, hold on, um, you were just searching around, and you found me crying and were like, 'yeah, him’?” Neil teased.

“No, stop,” pretty boy groaned. “You’re making me feel like a dick.”

“So, what do you mean?” Neil asked.

“Jesus, uh. I was looking at you as soon as you stepped in,” pretty boy mumbled, clearing his throat. It seemed out of character; the blonde was more blunt and sarcastic, but now he was different—a good difference, of course. Any version of pretty boy is Neil’s favorite.

“Wow. You really like me?” Neil was astounded. Pretty boy was way too good for someone like him.

“No,” the blonde denied. “Next question? Or did I make you uncomfortable?”

“Oh. Of course not,” Neil reassured, the British accent more prominent. “Erm, next question.”

“I feel embarrassed,” pretty boy groaned into his hands. His rings hit his scarred cheeks, blood quickly spread to them, making them a light shade of pink. It was adorable.

“What?” Neil raised an eyebrow, wondering why he felt embarrassed.

Pretty boy took his hands off his face to stare at Neil. “Mom says I should use  more ‘I feel’ statements,” he said, rolling his eyes.

“Oh. I wouldn’t know; therapy isn’t for me,” Neil admitted. The Wymacks tried booking him appointments, but the story of running to different countries to escape an abusive father seemed otherworldly. It was strange; Neil couldn’t imagine spilling his secrets to somebody behind a notebook, trying to psychoanalyze his actions. But then again, he was spilling his guts to a pretty college boy.

“Can I ask you a question?” Neil asked, starting to pick at his scars anxiously. He wanted to ask this ever since the blonde gave him a cigarette and asked the first question that started the exchange of truths.

“Okay,” pretty boy breathed. He was backing away slowly, but Neil wanted to pull him in closer, by the waist preferably. He was backing away, but Neil wanted to hear more about him and listen to his truths. He was backing away, but Neil wanted to kiss him until they lost all five senses.

“Can I kiss you? Yes or no?” Neil blurted out.

Pretty boy was… stunned to say the least. Both of his eyebrows shot up, his gold eyes widened, and he was blinking a few times, as if this party were only a dream. Like the idea of Neil agreeing to such a thing was only seen in fantasy novels.

“What?” Pretty boy blinked.

“Can I kiss you? Yes or no?” Neil repeated with a firm look on his face, so pretty boy will know he’s completely serious.

Pretty boy cleared his throat. “Yes. Sorry, yes.”

Neil was sweating bullets. Why did he ask that? He has never kissed anyone before, let alone a cute guy. What if his inexperience drives the blonde away? What if the blonde changes his mind and doesn’t want to suck face with a freaky, scarred loser like Neil? What if they never see each other again?

“I never did this before,” Neil revealed, anxiously picking at his scars and trying to get rid of the nervousness eating away his skin.

Pretty boy just gave him a slight smile, his dimples welcoming Neil like a warm embrace. “It’s okay.”

“Are you sure about wanting to do this?” Neil asked.

“Yes,” the blonde said firmly. “I never agree to things I don’t want to do.”

“Okay,” Neil breathed. “But—”

“Hey.” The blonde cut Neil off, trying to get the taller boy’s attention. “It’s okay,” he said softer.

“Okay,” Neil sighed.

“Can I touch you, yes or no?” Pretty boy asked; his voice was like honey, and his eye color matched as well. The music was long gone in Neil’s ears; whatever his pretty boy said was his music, along with his drug.

“Yes,” Neil said, trying to not sound too excited. He was definitely excited but he wanted to show pretty boy that he was cool. 

Pretty boy moved closer, leaning on top of Neil and in between his legs. The blonde grabbed the taller boy’s waist carefully, rubbing circles on it. Before two boys began, they breathed like they just won an Exy championship. They were in each other’s space, like they were cherishing it before it will fade away once the party ended.

The blonde placed his freckled hand on Neil’s jaw. Nobody ever touched him with that amount of care; of course doctors did when stitching him, but the blonde didn’t touch Neil like he was going to crack. Pretty boy touched his face like he was the glue that would mend Neil.

“Can I touch you?” Neil asked.

“Yes, waist and up.” Pretty boy’s eyelashes fluttered while he placed his other hand from Neil’s waist on the other side of Neil’s jawline. He was ethereal, like an angel. Pretty boy was his.

“One more question,” Neil said.

“Hm?” Pretty boy purred, looking Neil up and down.

“What’s your name?” Neil asked, touching the exposed skin on the pretty boy’s waist. The blonde’s ears turned red at this while he cleared his throat and stared into Neil’s eyes, trying to distract himself.

“What’s yours?” Pretty boy countered.

“Neil,” Neil answered.

Pretty boy grinned, leaning in to bite Neil’s lip, just to tease him. “Andrew.”

Andrew smiled while closing the aggravating distance between the two boys. He was an experienced kisser, while Neil looked like a fool. No matter the experience, it felt like a breath of fresh air while his chapped lips connected with Andrew’s soft, pink ones. The blonde had to tilt Neil’s head, not only to connect the lips the right way but also because Neil was trying to strain his neck to reach the boy. Andrew’s laugh was like a song, he giggled while moving onto Neil’s lap, kissing the taller boy’s collarbone area and gave it soft bites.

Neil picked up Andrew’s head with his scarred fingers, redirecting the shorter boy’s attention from his collarbone to his lips once again to kiss passionately.

Neil never got tired of it; he wanted Andrew so bad. His truths, his lips, and his—

Andrew grazed his tongue, trying to open up Neil’s lips. The taller boy let out a whine once Andrew moved his hands from Neil’s face to tugging on Neil’s auburn curls, while not making any effort to break the romantic spell between them; if anything, he made it more intense.

The two kissed like they were hungry, battling for who would have the reddest lips and who wouldn’t resist the urge to lean in for another taste. As Neil got the hang of kissing, he tilted Andrew’s face so he could make the blonde stop nipping at his jawline. Andrew licked Neil’s mouth again, not only to open Neil’s mouth wider but so their tongues could connect as well.

Now, their kisses were less fast and intense and rather more slower-paced and intimate, like they were doing this forever.

Neil didn’t expect their bodies to press even closer; at this point, the two boys felt as if they were one. Andrew’s chest was breathing at the same face pace as Neil’s. Their hearts throbbed as if it were just one; the jointed organ even skipped a beat once Neil bruised Andrew’s lips, or if the Andrew tugs Neil’s hair harder than usual. The blonde's thighs were moving closer to straddle Neil’s waist. Neil moved his hands from Andrew’s jaw to grabbing his waist to support him, which made the goalkeeper let out a whimper.

Neil let out a laugh, but he still made sure to grab Andrew’s waist tighter while he repositioned himself on Neil’s lap, moving impossibly close. They needed each other; they needed to breathe in the sweat and smoke between them, or else the magic would cease. Or else life would be normal; Andrew would go back to his family, and Neil would be begging to go home.

Though the younger boy was having the time of his life, kissing a pretty boy while hiding from the rest of the frat and sororities in the house, Neil wondered what would happen next. He liked Andrew and wanted to know more about him. But does Andrew feel the same? Will Andrew want to talk to him in the future? Or was Neil just a hookup? The idea made Neil feel anxious, which Andrew quickly sensed because he broke the kiss and grabbed Neil’s jaw, positioning his face so they could stare into each other’s eyes.

With the lightning, the blonde’s eyes looked purple, and his dilated pupils looked black. It made him look more stunning. Andrew’s now-red lips parted as he breathed through his mouth to catch his breath; their chests panted as they never broke eye contact, the strip of saliva being the last thing that connected the two.

“You okay?” Andrew whispered.

Neil was getting deja vu. “Yes.”

Andrew repositioned his left hand from Neil’s hair to under the thin fabric of the striker’s shirt, feeling up the faint outlines of Neil’s abs. He worked out often, especially because Exy relied heavily on the legs and the upper parts of the body, and also it was a good way to release his anger and let him take a breather once something stressful comes up. The blonde’s face moved towards Neil to bite his jaw.

“Good,” Andrew purred, sinking his teeth into Neil’s skin.

“Drew!” Neil whined. Andrew grinned at the noise, reconnecting their lips. The blonde’s hand under Neil’s shirt crept closer and closer to the upper part of his body, causing the shirt to crease and Neil’s tan skin to quickly turn red.

“Mm,” Neil hummed against Andrew’s lips rather loudly.

“Shh, junkie,” Andrew said, attempting to be the leader, but the breathiness of his voices showed that both he and Neil were equally as excited. “You’re so loud.”

“Neil!” A voice spoke up. Neil stopped trying to suck Andrew’s face to take a look at whoever called his name. The taller boy didn’t comment on how Andrew chased after his lips or how the blonde recognized the person’s voice as well, giving them a death glare.

“Oh my god, that’s disgusting. Andrew, get off my brother,” Kevin groaned, trying to cover his eyes.

“I’m not even on him,” Andrew lied, leaning in for another kiss. It’s like they had opposite charges; no matter what, they were bound to be attracted to each other. Their lips linked for only thirty seconds until Kevin groaned once more.

“Stop! Neil, we need to get home; you’re driving. I’m fucked up. It’s like two in the morning,” his brother slurred, clearly drunk and out of his mind.

“But—” Neil protested, glancing down at Andrew’s hand still up his shirt, feeling him up. Neil had to fight back a groan while Andrew smiled at him cheekily.

“Neil,” Kevin said sternly, borrowing Abby’s choice of speech for a just a moment.

Neil sighed, feeling like he just got lectured. “Fine, give me your keys.”

Kevin looked away, throwing his car keys at a random angle. Luckily, before they could hit one of the two boys, Neil caught them. The eldest brother ran away immediately, not wanting to look at the two on the floor any longer. Thanks to Kevin walking in on them, the boys were left with an indescribable awkwardness.

“Um,” Neil started.

Andrew snorted, taking his hands off Neil, though he would still be in his lap. Looking around, there were significantly fewer lights and people, and the music was lowered. People still partied and drank on the dance floor, but it wasn’t obnoxious like it was before.

Neil cleared his throat to speak. “Did you know Kevin’s my brother?”

Not even a few hours ago, Neil was talking about how Exy “junkie” (in Andrew’s words) he was. Who knew Neil would be making out with Kevin’s roommate and biggest thorn on his side? But what Kevin didn’t know was that Neil would do it a thousand times again.

“I knew you existed, but I didn’t know you were this...” Andrew looked him up and down, almost like he was checking Neil out.

“This…?”

Andrew grinned from ear to ear as he leaned in to give Neil a soft, chaste kiss. Neil never got a response, but he loved the kiss so he didn't care.

The two continued to kiss just for a few seconds longer, Andrew tugged on Neil’s auburn curls in just the right placed while Neil’s hands resided on Andrew’s sharp jawline. Again, Andrew tried opening Neil’s lips wider so his tongue could go inside and explore his mouth once again. Neil let out more embarrassing, shameful noises, but he couldn’t help it.

“I expect you have a phone,” Andrew breathed, breaking the kiss. Neil could see a glimpse of his red tongue as he panted for air. Adorable.

Neil reached into his pocket to pull out his cracked, almost dead phone and handed it to Andrew. The blonde unlocked it, typed in his number, and sent a fox emoji and a knife emoji to his own phone.

Andrew gave Neil his phone and got off Neil’s lap to stand up. Neil’s legs felt dead, but if Andrew wanted to sit on him like that again, then forget about the legs. They’ll live.

“I’ll, um, see you around,” Neil said nervously while standing up. The sight of Andrew’s blonde strands sticking out, his red lips, and his bruised neck made him feel something new—something strange.

“Yeah?” Andrew teased, leaning in for another kiss. Now that they were standing up, Andrew had to stand on his tiptoes to even touch Neil’s bottom lip. After giggling, Neil leaned down to help the shorter boy, connecting their lips for a short kiss for the last time. Andrew caressed Neil’s cheeks as he let out an adorable whimper as Neil’s nails were digging into Andrew’s waist pleasurably.

The two broke the kiss and stared into each other's eyes. Blue meeting gold once again. The previously loud music fully died down, leaving only the chatter of groups of people on the dance floor. The lights shut off as soon as the boys were finished with their romantic exchange, but it wasn’t awkward. It was kind of nice; they were in their own little world.

“I can’t get enough of you,” Neil confessed to his pretty boy.

“Neil! Come on, seriously!” Kevin called out from across the house. Neil rolled his eyes, why can’t he have anything?

Andrew grinned. “So call me.”

“I’ll make sure to,” Neil affirmed. Even though he had a bad habit of not charging it, he’ll turn it around. Just for Andrew. Just for his pretty boy.

“Okay,” Andrew breathed, letting out of Neil’s face. The taller boy immediately missed the warmth. Neil smiled as his hands dropped from the blonde’s waist, Andrew gave him a smile back.

“I’ll see you around.” Andrew said.

“Bye, Drew,” Neil said.

“Bye, junkie,” Andrew said, his ears turning red for the last time.

Neil waved before running to Kevin, who was waiting at the front of the frat house. His brother’s black hair was all over his face, and his face was sweaty from all of the dancing he did with his friends and boyfriend.

Kevin glanced at his younger brother with a disapproving look. “Really? Andrew?”

“Yeah,” Neil swooned, changing Andrew’s contact name to ‘Pretty boy’ with a red heart.

Once he was done, he glanced behind him, watching Andrew’s noticeable silhouette through the lights and smoke machines.