Work Text:
Yoshka was simply attempting to make a sandwich in the kitchen, when Zara walks in.
"Hey, Yosh. Can ya stop your.. Thing, real quick?? We need to go to the, eh-.. Object food store..? Walmart, or somethin'."
Yoshka quickly perks up and brushes aside his sandwich, raising an eyebrow in Zara's direction.
"Object food store? Don't we already have food..?"
Zara rolls his eyes, whilst responding with an annoyed hint to his tone.
"We did, but then that fuckface Az literally stole it all for, like, I don't fuckin' know.. He said it was important, but I have reason to think otherwise."
Yoshka then glanced towards his sandwich, then back to Zara. He looks between the two of them for a minute or two, before shoving his sandwich into his mouth and giving Zara a thumbs up.
"Then of course I can go to Walmart with you! But why specifically Walmart? Don't we usually, like, have a guy who brings food to us?"
Zara just side-eyes the wall, before returning his gaze to Yoshka's and speaking in a deadpan.
"Dead."
Yoshka just stares at him for a moment in mild concern, before returning his deadpan with his own.
"Oh. ..Okay then."
The room then just fills with awkward silence for a good while, before Zara interjects back into the quiet.
"Just come to Walmart already. I don't want anything to do with the objects or their stuff, I'm already annoyed we have to go there in the first place."
Yoshka quickly nods and then hops after Zara, as the two of them walk out of the kitchen to the front door.
A long while of flying to Walmart later..
Yoshka quickly lands his footing in front of the Walmart doors, Zara not far behind.
"Eh.. Zara, I can feel the other objects staring. It's a little scary.."
Zara just crosses his arms in annoyance, before responding to Yoshka with an undertone.
"Get over it. They can't hurt us anyway, we're Symbolars. You know this.."
Yoshka just sighs and then turns around and skips across the road to go to where the shopping carts are.
Zara just stands from afar, watching as Yoshka struggles to push the shopping cart free before giving up and just using his wand to pull it free, before he quickly rushes back to Zara with the shopping cart.
"Okay, I saw the other objects with these things, and they had the food in them. I think we need it for our Walmart venture. Carts, I believe they're called?"
Zara raises an eyebrow, inspecting the shopping cart from afar.
"It looks weird. Is it supposed to be full of that many holes?"
Yoshka just stares at the shopping cart for a minute, before humming in thought to himself.
"Wait, you're right.. The holes are weird, but, like.. I guess they're needed? I dunno. They've gotta be there for a reason."
"Fuck the holes. In that sense, if you wanted. But I still hate the holes. Fuck those bitches."
Yoshka just stands there quietly, half-frozen, squinting and mildly blushing in terror, whilst Zara starts trying to aggressively bite the shopping cart's spaces.
Yoshka watches him do this for a while, before he quietly attempts to drag Zara back from the cart.
"Don't do that.. When we put the things in the cart, they're gonna fall through if you chew more holes into the cart."
Zara just stares at him ominously, before grumbling and getting up, gesturing for Yoshka to go inside with the cart.
"Can we just get this over with already?"
"Oh, yeah! Sorry.."
Yoshka quickly pushes the cart into the Walmart, Zara tailing behind with his arms crossed.
"Uh.. What are we supposed to be getting here?"
Zara then pulls a piece of paper out of his tail, and unrolls it.
"Here."
He then hands Yoshka the paper, to which he just awkwardly stands there attempting to read it.
"..your handwriting is a mess, Zara.. I can't read this..."
Zara just scoffs and rolls his eyes.
"Jeez, not my fault I can't write coherently while jacking off."
Yoshka just stares at him for a minute, frozen, squinting, audibly blushing.
"Bro-bro, I.. Don't think you're supposed to.. do that... -Writing food lists while doing that, I mean!! Not the other thing!!! You, can, uh-.. Do whatever you want, hehe.."
He then just quickly glances around the store for a minute before just quickly handing back Zara the paper and putting his hands into his face.
"Just read it out on your own.."
Zara just snickers, before staring back at his list.
"Uh, so first, I think we need, like.. Bread and shit like that."
Yoshka pushes himself up off the cart, and then tilts his head in curiosity.
"Just bread, or like, bread products? Like tortillas and other things."
"Yeah, like all that."
Yoshka nods, and then starts attempting to direct the cart to the grain aisle.
"Uh, bread, bread, breaadd.. C'mon, buddies..."
He mumbles to himself, parking his cart by the end of the aisle as he looks through the different types of bread.
"I didn't even know objects had this many types of bread. I just thought they ate, like, grass and stuff.. Not food like us."
Zara just stares at Yoshka, standing next to the cart.
"I thought you already knew that objects ate normal food. Didn't you, like, give the objects in Kratcy's stupid show thing real food?"
"..well, yeah..-BUT I THOUGHT THEY WERE SPECIAL!!!!! I thought they, were, like.. Different from other objects. Further palates. You know what I mean.."
"Well, yeah, no shit, you knew Kratcy was giving those bitches straight up sawdust to eat. Fucking SAWDUST. Did they ever even eat it?? I doubt they did, of course they eat normal food, not grass and shit like that."
"What about Spraysh?? I think she willingly drank the birch sap from that one elimination.."
"The purple spray bottle girl?? I'm pretty sure I heard that she literally thought Kratcy's millions of thousands was millions of thousands of lunch coupons or some crazy shit like that. I'm convinced she'd eat anything."
"..oh yeah, right.. Well, uh-.. Back to bread."
Yoshka then quickly spots out the bread the Symbolars usually had, and puts a few loaves into the cart before grabbing some other bread products and placing them delicately atop the loaves.
"Okay, what now?"
Zara looks back down to his list, and then glances back up to Yoshka.
"Snacks? I dunno, not even I can really make out a lot of the shit on this list. You know what, just wander and get whatever."
Yoshka just stands there silently, with a straight face, before shrugging and turning the cart out of the grain aisle into some other random aisle.
"Ooooh, juice.. сок.. сок... сок...... Why's there an entire aisle dedicated to just juice? I'm not complaining or anything, it's just surreal. Do the objects like juice? Maybe I should get juice for the CFMOT contestants."
"Yosh, don't get distracted."
"Oh-! Right, sorry.."
Yoshka quickly shakes off his thoughts and puts some juice cartons in the shopping cart, alongside applesauce, fruit snacks, and other such.
"There's way more food here than I expected there to be.. I don't recognize a lot of this. I'm just putting whatever in the shoppy cart."
Zara just glances over to the things in the cart, then looks over to Yoshka.
"Is that really all that good of a decision? What if we don't like most of this stuff?"
"Well, I know about some foods.. Like, uh.. Tea, chocolate, juice, bread, fruit... Other stuff. We don't leave the house often, and that one delivery guy only ever brought stuff that Cheppy asked for. Maybe Cheppy would know more about this place, or just.. Food. Can you call Cheppy?"
"I'm not fucking doing that. I hate phones, Kira made them annoying for me."
"Then just call out for Cheppy? Like, verbally..?"
"I'm not screaming out for Cheppy in the middle of a place I know next to nothing about, never-the-less a place RIDDEN with objects."
"Uh.. You could go back to the house and get Cheppy over here?"
"He's probably busy right now. Also, I refuse to leave you alone in the store, because knowing you, you're probably going to somehow get lost in this place, stuck in a lawn chair."
"Hey, that's mean, bro-bro.."
"Am I wrong?"
"..well, no.."
"Then you know, no Cheppy."
Yoshka just sighs lightly and then wheels the cart through a few more aisles, grabbing whatever seems the most appetizing. He feels a little paranoid about the fact that there's a ton of objects casually just watching him and his brother, who are both colorful puffy russian letters, casually dump tons of snacks intended for kids into a shopping cart covered in bite marks, but Zara constantly assures him that they wouldn't dare to judge them. They're Symbolars! Powerful, great, majestic.. If any object was to ever defy them, they wouldn't get to live.
Eventually, after wandering through enough aisles, Yoshka comes face-to-face with the frozen aisle.
"Oooh, what's this place..? It's cold."
Yoshka starts opening and closing the door to the ice cream over and over again, enjoying the random thud noises that the door makes, and the sudden blasts of cold air half-clashing with the room-temperature air.
Zara just watches from afar with a blank expression, mostly just wondering what in the fuck Yoshka's doing.
"Yosh?"
"да..?"
"What are you doing?"
"..I dunno?"
Zara then just sighs and grabs Yoshka's arm off the door.
"We're here for a reason, Yoshka. Food. Don't get distracted, please."
"Right!! Sorry, bro-bro.."
Yoshka then starts putting random things from the freezers into the cart, before coming across some lasagna.
"Ooooh.. Lasagna... I remember this! Remember when Cheppy made it that one time? As, like, celebration food?"
"Uh, yeah.. Vaguely."
"Can we get some??"
"I don't fuckin' care??? I've been letting you put whatever in the cart for a reason. It's not like we're paying for any of this anyway."
"Wait, we're stealing all this? Isn't stealing wrong?"
"Usually, yes, but neither of us have money. Also, I still don't like objects. I'm not giving a single fucking Armaturian any of my money, even if I had any."
Yoshka just stares at him for a moment, before shrugging and looking back to the lasagna.
He quickly gets stuck with a decision about the lasagna, though.
"Yosh, what are you doing?"
"I can't decide between these two lasagna brands.. Which do I get?
"I don't care, you decide."
"But I can't decide, bro-bro.."
"Yes you can."
"What if I can't?"
"Can you?"
"No!!"
"I'm fairly certain you can."
"Well, I can, it's just that.. I don't know which to choose right now."
"Oh my fucking god, I swear to Sushigod.. Just get the fucking lasagna, Yoshka. I don't care which one."
Yoshka then just sighs and grabs one of them at random, before placing it in the cart and starting to wheel it out the back door.
"HEY!!"
Yoshka quickly perks up. Better start running. Can't thieve if you're slow.
Zara and Yoshka quickly grab together the cart and fly up into the air, before heading all the way back to the house.
Yoshka then places the cart into the house, and wheels it over to Cheppy's workspace.
"Hi, Cheppy! We went to the Walmart for the first time and got stuff."
Cheppy quickly perks up from what he was doing and smiles.
"Oh, thanks, Yoshky! I'm sure whatever you got will be quite helpful.."
"You're welcome!!"
Cheppy then takes all the stuff out of the cart and starts organizing all the food, while Yoshka takes the cart back to Zara.
"What am I supposed to do with this..? I don't wanna take it back to Walmart, the objects might get mad at us for stealing and use the shoppy cart against us.."
Zara just stares at the cart, before holding out his hand.
"Gimme the cart. That shit's holes deserve to DIE."
"Are you still on that?"
"Да."
Yoshka then just quietly pushes the cart towards him, before going back to his room. Nap time! It's been a long day.
At least the Walmart trip was fun.