Chapter Text
"Dazai, what are you doing?" A blonde, who went by the name Elise, asked, tugging on the hem of Dazai's shirt in hopes of getting the brunette's attention.
Osamu Dazai had been working at Port Mafia Tattoos for a little over a year. The name, in all honestly, wasn't very misleading. Though they gave tattoos to people of all ages, the Port Mafia specialized in giving tattoos to children--- teenagers who just barley crossed the threshold from pre-teen to full on adolescence.
He didn't care much for the nature of the work; he didn't care much for anything. The boss, Mori, who had killed the previous boss, didn't let Dazai leave his cage very often. He was stuck baby-sitting Elise, or, as he was currently doing, scouting.
Yep, the boss had long ago decided that Dazai was too good at his job and had decided he was perfect for scouting out new recruits; people who had a rocky past and would do anything--- no matter how illegal, to make a little money.
"Dazai!" Elise whined again, stomping her feet as she puffs her cheeks out.
"I'm scouting. Now leave me alone, go gouge yourself or whatever kids like you are doing these days." He passes Elise a credit card that she recognizes easily as one of Mori's, and wordlessly escapes to go taste a plethora of confections.
He had no such interest in the current targets; a gang of thugs no older than Dazai himself he went by The Sheep. The pink-haired girl, Yuan, seemed to have no interest and the actual activities and was only making herself by serving as arm candy for whoever gave her the affection.
There was one, however, mockingly short, with auburn hair. Though Dazai couldn't stand the yipping of him, and he had been subjected to it for months against his will, he had to admit the boy showed promise.
The Sheep King. The title was hilariously domestic, the name alone wasn't enough to strike fear into anybody's hear-
"Oi. You there, in the suit. Who the fuck are you?"
Well, shit, that wasn't good.
Dazai took a long, mocking sip of his drink (Cola, he couldn't stand the taste of much else.) "The pleasantries aren't important."
"Yeah, they fucking are. You've been stalking us for a long fucking time, what the hell do you want?"
"I want you to stop barking."
Well, he hadn't thought that response out very thoroughly.
Clearly, because the boy had him totally pinned to the wall, a small dagger pointed at his neck, the placement of his knee sure to bruise Dazai.
"The fuck did you say to me!? You got a death wish or somethin'!?"
"I want you to know I really don't like pain."
Dazai easily swiped the dagger from the boy's hand and tossed it to the side, causing him to whip her head around and-
An old man appeared behind the boy and dragged him from Dazai by the arms, he served as Dazai's babysitter and personal bodyguard, one of Mori's dogs.
"Let go of me you old shit! I'm fucking serious I-"
"Hirotsu, let him go but stay nearby." Dazai ordered.
Chuuya sucked his teeth. "Now answer my damn question!"
"How much do you make as a little Sheepdog?" Dazai countered, his face painfully unreadable.
"I earn a ceiling over my damn head, why does it matter to you, moron?"
"What if I could offer you a job where you get not only a roof under your head but you could make a fortune?"
"Not interested."
"Ah. I think you misunderstood. Hirotsu, the phone, please?"
Hirotsu wordlessly hands Dazai the phone and, with a few clicks, the sound of voices fills the room.
"Chuuya! We need your help!"
The boy, who now had a name, glared at Dazai. "What the fuck did you do!?"
"We were just-" Replied the voice.
"Not you!" Chuuya yelled, "wait. What did you dumbasses do!?"
"We just wanted some booze!"
"How many times have I told you not to-" Dazai hung the phone up. "Oi! Jackass!"
"Such a yippy pup. Tell you what, I'll put in a call to free them right now if you come with me."
"Fine. Okay. Whatever. Just- don't hurt them, ya hear me?"
With another few clicks another voice fills the room.
"Osamu?"
Dazai visibly recoils. "Yes, hello."
"I take it you've completed your mission."
"Free the Sheep."
"As you wish. I take it you have a plan?"
"You overestimate me, Ougai."
A sigh. "Very well."
The sound of the call ending is heard. "Happy now?"
"No. Not at all you bastard."
"Don't you have any, I don't know, creative insults? Surely there's something going on in that chibi-sized brain of yours."
"Lay off my height! I'm fifteen damnit, I'm still growing!"
"Whatever you say~" Dazai lulls.
"So. Chuuya Nakahara, Sheep King." Mori begun, reading off from a file Dazai had been creating.
"Don't fucking call me that."
"Can we keep him?" Elise asks, sitting on Mori's desk as she kicked her feet back and forth.
"That's up to him, dear."
"Dazai, can we keep him?"
"Why do you want a stupid slug like him around?"
"He's cute! And funny! And he's mean to Mintauro!"
Chuuya snickers. "I like you. What's your name, beautiful?"
Dazai's face scrunches up. "You think that's beautiful? She's the spawn of satan."
"My name's Elise!"
"Nice to meet you, Elise."
"Can we please keep him!"
Dazai rolls his eyes. "Someone needs to train him."
"Hey! Don't go making choices for me, Shitty Dazai!"
"Please keep the cursing the minimum in front of my daughter" Mori says, a bit exhausted from the duo's antics. "You two will be working together. Dazai, you do know the basics, don't you?"
Dazai pauses, "Does that mean I'll actually get to work? No stupid errands? No more baby-sitting?"
"Yes, Osamu."
"Don't call me that."
Mori pays no attention to his request. "Chuuya, is this okay with you?"
"Not like I have a fucking choice," Chuuya mumbles. "Sorry, freaking choice."
"Very good. You are to get started right away, Hirotsu will show you two to your office."
"Wait," The two say in perfect harmony, "I have to share with him!?"