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The war was sudden; no one really thought it would blow up to this kind of proportion. One day everyone was walking around like they hadn’t a care in the world, the next thing we knew all our men above the age of eighteen were being rounded up onto shipping boats ready to be sent out to the slaughter for the sake of the government.
Mothers watched sons and husbands go, children said goodbye to fathers and I sent off my brother and boyfriend with dry eyes and a strong smile, orders to return home whispered into their ears. Hands clasped around hands tightly, too scared to let go, but never wavering when it was time to say goodbye. The ones that remained had to stay strong for the soldiers.
I remember returning home that day and curling up in my bed, crying and crying because now none of them could see my tears, none of them could feel bad for leaving me.
A week after they had left, Terezi, Dave’s girlfriend had moved in. She was blind and had no one to care for her at home. I had promised him she would be under my care until he returned. We exchanged grave looks that day, with him muttering and cursing.
“Rose, what if I don’t come back… what will happen to her?” He whispered while Terezi hugged Karkat and wished him a safe trip, remaining as strong as I had.
Instead of indulging in his worries, I merely shook my head and brushed back his blonde bangs. “Nonsense, you’ll be home in two years, you and John both. You know that I’ll take care of her.” I don’t think he believed he would be coming back, but I wouldn’t listen to it.
John, on the other hand, was glad to hear my optimism. I was never one for lying for the sake of others, it made him smile to see me smile. I kissed both of his cheeks and the tip of his nose and smiled from ear to ear. It was hard to watch him go; the house would be empty without his cheerful laugh.
He promised to write and I promised to send care packages, I would even try to make him biscuits to enjoy in the trenches. Slipping a picture of us both into his pocket, I reluctantly let him go after one last quick hug and a kiss and waved him off as he boarded the boat.
It was two weeks since the boys left until Terezi and I received our first letters. She got three, one from Dave, one from Karkat and one from Sollux. I had to read them out to her; all were heart felt and sad. She did her best to smile but I could see the small tears bubbling out of the corner of her eyes.
Terezi quickly collected them in her arms after thanking me and headed for her room, presumably to stash them away in a safe box. I took the time while she was gone to read the first of, hopefully, many letters from John and Dave.
Dave’s letter was short and simple and snarky, bringing a smile to my face in the way only he could. John’s was much longer, John’s made me cry.
Dear Rose,
It’s been two weeks since you kissed me goodbye and I already miss home so much. How are you? How is Terezi?
I, myself, am a little less than well. We’ve gotten used to the ringing left in our ears after the bombs go off and the feel of a gun in our hands but I don’t think we’ll ever get used to seeing people die.
Our days are long and hard and noisy, but we’re doing our best. Dave and I talk often about home and about you and Terezi and Jade and everyone back there. We know you’re all waiting for us. The thought of coming home that’s what keeps us going, that and the promise of your care packages (don't forget!)
The trenches are cramped and squishy and we’ve gotten to know our trench mates really well, whether we want to or not. There is this one guy, his name is Jack Noir; he intimidates both me and Dave. Imagine that, someone breaking Dave’s poker face.
He probably didn’t say in his letter much, but he misses you a lot. He isn’t allowed to wear his shades out here, and a few of the guys have called him a freak. He punched them in the nose. It was great.
I don’t have a lot of time to write these letters, but I’ll write as often as I can. I’m about to be moved back to the front line with Dave and Sollux. Wish us luck!
See you in two years!
Love, John Egbert.
From then on, the letters continued, back and forth, back and forth. John and I spoke of everything, the war, work, home, family and friends and what we would do when he returned home. John insisted on us getting married, it was hard to refuse him when he was fighting for the country. But I kept my doubts on the marriage tucked away. To be honest, marrying John was one thing I could hope for.
It was a happy thing to look forward to after the years of violence and despair. The wedding was my happy thought away from everything else.
Well, it was until the letters started to become less and less frequent. It started a little after Christmas. His letters grew shorter and shorter, his hand writing became messier. Both of theirs did, John and Dave. Tremors from shock and trauma and the bombs. It made my heart sink.
Things were calm for a while, John’s letters picked back up for a short while and I was pleased and Terezi was pleased and things were going well. Until they came.
Enemy soldiers had made their way into our town, attacking the defenceless, raping the women and destroying everything. Men would return home to find their children gone or their wives dead, girlfriend’s bodies buried beneath the ground.
Terezi was the one that made me write the letter to Sollux. There was nothing we could have done, we told him. There was no one here to protect us; she was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
We held Aradia’s funeral beneath the tall oak tree out the back of the Cemetery that evening.
Days passed, weeks passed and months passed, until there were no more letters from John. He and Dave had been split up in their schedules. He had no idea where John was, what he was doing. All we knew was that he would be coming home in two months, both of them would be coming home.
And when they got home, we would all get together, John and I, Dave and Terezi, Karkat, Jade and Sollux and we’d take him to see Aradia one last time. That’s what we hoped.
Two months passed and Terezi, Jade and I stood anxiously amidst the crowd of children and mothers and fathers and grandparents as we watched the large ship come pulling into the harbour, soldiers standing on the deck waving their hands and flags, people crying out as they saw their beloved ones.
Terezi tugged on my skirt, looking around in a daze. “Are they there, can you see them there?” She asked nervously.
My voice had escaped me. I couldn’t see them on the deck, perhaps they were down below – and then, I saw that unmistakable messy platinum blonde hair. Without a word, I pushed my way through the crowds, going as fast as I could until my arms closed around Dave’s lanky body.
Slowly, his arms, no, arm wrapped around me, the other hanging by his side wrapped up tightly in bandages and gauze. He pressed his lips to the top of my head and I could feel his chest shake with tears and sobs. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Rose…” he muttered, voice muffled in my hair.
Pulling away from him, I looked up at his red and watery eyes, searching for some explanation. From behind me I could hear Jade and Terezi exclaiming with joy at the sight of Dave and apparently Karkat, but I could hear Jade stop her cheers and whisper something to Terezi.
Dave’s red eyes locked with my own purple ones and I managed to choke out a single word; “John?” With a slight shake of the head I could feel my world crashing around me. No more letters, no word from him, the separation.
“He went MIA after we got separated… they found his body the week before we were about to be sent home. Shot in the middle of the trenches… the commanding officer identified his body.” Dave whispered, voice hoarse.
Clutching his shirt, I shook my head feeling the burning hot tears run down my cheeks. “No… Dave, No.” I cried, over and over.
Hands, not Dave’s and not Jade’s, but Terezi’s closed around my shoulders as the small girl pulled me in close for a hug, stroking the top of my head whilst I cried into her chest, tears staining the front of her dress.
There were to be two memorials that night, both and Aradia’s and John’s.
A dream of mine ended that night.
A hope in me died that night.
I miss you every day, my dear, sweet, John.