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The morning never looked so beautiful. That was what Alice thought as she stood in the doorway of her spare room, a mug in each hand. She had come to wake up her guest with the promise of coffee - though it was the instant kind, but Monika insisted she didn’t mind that. Not right now though, because she was asleep. Alice knew that because she was stuck there staring at her.
It was honestly something she tried to avoid; Monika was very tall and muscular, and she liked working hard, which often showed off her muscles, so it was hard not to. Sometimes Alice wondered if it was on purpose, and then she thought again. Monika definitely wouldn’t want that, she was quite shy really. Apparently not when she was sleeping though.
It was summer, and Alice did keep her little house on the warm side either way, but it seemed to prove too much for Monika, who had removed her shirt during the night, and was now sleeping sprawled on her stomach. The sunlight peeked out of the slats of the blinds, bouncing its rays over Monika’s bare back, and casting sharp shadows that carved out her muscles so well. It was like a perfect painting. She slept so peacefully, her face relaxed as she hugged the pillow under her cheek, her lips just barely parted as she slept.
Then there was something Alice really knew she shouldn’t be looking at. It felt crass, unbecoming of her, but the way Monika’s chest pushed against the mattress was enough to make anyone blush, yet without it, this beautiful painting of an image would be much less enticing. The soft curves contrasted beautifully with her defined muscles, and somewhere in Alice’s head she could come up with 100 different ways to describe it and fit it into some poem or prose, and yet every time she began to think of it, she pushed away those thoughts. There was nothing worse than allowing her thoughts to sound like some man describing someone’s tits with some pretentious poetry.
Besides, she hardly had time when Monika stirred from her sleep, awoken by the feeling of eyes on her.
Alice jumped into action and pretended she hadn’t been standing there for the better half of 5 minutes.
“I brought you coffee!” She chirped, “I mean. I was making myself tea and I thought it would be rude not to make you some too, but then I remembered you don’t like tea, so I did my best to make some instant coffee. I know you don’t like that kind, but you said it was alright yesterday so I thought, hey, might as well!” She rambled on, her eyes darting around the room to avoid looking at her friend. They were just friends. Monika was out of her league.
“... Thank you.” Monika waited until the rambles had trailed off before speaking. She pulled the bed cover over herself and blushed a little.
“Um. Sorry.” Alice stepped into the room more and handed her the coffee while still avoiding her eyes.
“It’s ok… I got too hot. in the night.”
“No no, you’re fine.” She waved a hand as if it was nothing. At least Monika was covered now. Alice chanced sitting on the bed, she wasn’t sure if she was invited to have their morning together, but it didn’t seem unwelcomed.
They sat there silently for a minute, both either staring into their drinks or out of the window, taking the occasional sip. Usually it was Alice who broke the silence, she couldn’t shut her mouth when Monika was there, something about how intently she would listen, and how Alice just didn’t want their interaction to end.
“It’s nice.” Monika said, much to both of their surprise. It had taken a lot of courage to start the conversation, it wasn’t something she was used to, “I like spending time with you.”
Alice felt her ears start to burn as her heart jumped into her throat, “Oh. Y… yeah. It’s nice. You’re nice.”
“Thank you.”
It was a genuine compliment, and its polite acceptance made Alice smile a little, as awkward as they both were.
In the end, it was really the silence they both appreciated, even if Alice felt so often she needed to fill it, just sitting there in the morning with their drinks, it felt right. She wanted to be more than friends, though she was so sure Monika would never feel the same. Friends met up every so often together, on their own, without other friends. They went out to coffee and sometimes dinner or a walk… those weren’t dates. When they held hands it was just the most efficient way to get through a crowd without losing each other, even if Monika’s firm grip made Alice’s heart skip a beat.
“Did you like the flowers?”
“Huh?” Alice looked up from the cup she had been staring into so intensely.
“The flowers… Felicia told me I should bring them.”
“Oh! yes they were really lovely, I’ve put them in the kitchen.”
Monika seemed to beam at that. As much as she could beam anyway. Her facial expressions were always so slight, before they got to know each other, Alice was sure she didn’t have any, but now she could pick them out so easily.
“Why did she tell you to bring them?” Alice asked light heartedly, expecting a simple and innocent answer.
“She… said that if you’ve been seeing someone for a few months that you should.”
Alice spluttered, almost choking on her tea.
“S..seeing someone? Like. Like seeing seeing someone?” Panic set in. Was she wrong? this whole damn time?
Monika’s face went pink, “I um. I don’t know. She. She probably just got the wrong idea.” She tried to wave it off, bringing her knees to her chest to keep herself covered. Suddenly they were both very aware that she wasn’t wearing a top and only had the bed covers to hide herself in.
“Friends can give friends flowers.”
“Yeah!” Alice barked out a very awkward laugh, “They’re just flowers. Very nice flowers! I didn’t take it any kind of way, don’t worry.”
“Ok.” Monika said a little too quickly.
Neither of them were entirely aware of each other’s feelings, both of them had some notion that the other wouldn’t like them in that same way. This cycle had been going on for months to the point both of their friends were sick of seeing them dance around it.
“Well. I’ll um. I’ll leave you to it.” Alice awkwardly patted her friend’s (definitely just friend’s) knee and hopped up, excusing herself out of the room. She closed the door and leaned against it, trying to catch her breath. She thought about those flowers on her table, thought about how they could have meant something and she had just blown it.
On the other side of the door, Monika had hidden her face in her knees. There were feelings there, she knew it, she felt it every time she saw Alice and wanted nothing more than to pick her up and carry her around forever, but as if Alice would like something like that. At least she liked the flowers. If they had nothing romantic, at least they had these mornings, and those flowers.