Work Text:
I stare at him through a lab window - frozen, indecisive.
It's an all too familiar place. An all too familiar feeling. Frustrated not knowing what to say to him; not being able to explain my feelings and thoughts to him. In the past, talking to Fitz was as natural as breathing. That all changed during one of the longest days of my life. The powers to be called me into their office and handed me...
Read it. Memorize it, they said.
***
So here I am, once again bound by guidelines dictated by a bunch of sadistic writers. If I had my way, I would have told Fitz how I feel a long time ago.
Rule #4:
No, absolutely no admissions of love!!
~Vague “read between the lines” admissions are fine~
Exceptions: Third parties
I breathe out a long sigh and glance down at the phone in my hand. I've thought about giving it to Fitz. I'm certain he can recover the content. Especially the video I made, knowing I might never see him again. Only, someone borrowed it right after I returned so I've reluctantly kept the phone and its content to myself. I'm at my wits end though. My efforts, figuring out a way to convey my love to Fitz, has been utterly fruitless.
I muster the strength and courage I need and head into the lab. I give him my phone hoping he can decipher the meaning behind my words. Please let there be a video for him to find.
***
I rub my eyes and stifle a yawn. I've been staring at the simulations for hours. Didn't help. No shit moron. I hear footsteps approaching. It's Jemma. She hasn't been much in the lab lately. I can't blame her, poor thing still getting use to the sounds and smells of planet Earth.
She wants me to recover data from her phone. I oblige but I gotta wonder.. why?.... why now?
Then the selfie pops up on the screen.
Good one Whedon! A shiv in my heart wasn’t enough for you, was it? You had to twist it!
***
As I’m waiting for the sunrise, he sneaks up on me. He rambles about dehydration and fatigue. He gives me an out. One I quickly turn down. I ask him what we should do about it, hoping he gets the clue…
***
I stare at her. God, she is beautiful. Kiss her! This is the moment! Kiss her!
“Don’t”, Lauren says. How did you …
“It’s written all over your face.” Oh..
I sigh deeply. “For now… Let’s just watch the sunrise.” Nice save! Let's just enjoy the moment.. ... Unless... Unless... Is she thinking of him now?.... Stupid rules!
***
… He doesn't. He doesn't kiss me! It was a perfect moment for a perfect kiss. I flash a little smile but I’m boiling on the inside as I recall...
Rule #1:
Perfect, happiness, joy, awwww … NO!!!!
Bittersweet, heartbreaking, agony, tragic, despair, pain… HELL YES!!!
~Tears are obligatory~
Exceptions: None.
Stupid rules. Yes, I said it. I, Jemma Simmons, for whom rules gives structure and meaning, hate these stupid rules.
***
A few days pass and the guilt is eating me up. Even knowing how I feel, he still soldiers on in our quest like nothing has changed.
I’m finally able to be in the lab for longer periods of time so this morning I’m here, getting an early start. I want to start pulling my weight. I almost trip over the tablet, containing our research, laying on the floor. It has an odd note on it in an handwriting I don’t recognize.
Confused, I pick it up and turn it on. Shocked, I almost drop it. Me.. and Will?... I don’t remember… I mean... What?!
WHEEDOON!
...So that’s why…
Fitz yelling at a poor intern brings be back. Oh Fitz, quit wailing at innocent bystanders. I’m right here! The person you SHOULD be mad at!
***
Later, in the midst of a quarrel on past vague admissions of love and obstacles of cosmic proportions, he asks me. Do I love Will? I hesitate long enough for the writers in my ear to speak.
"Say yes!,” Doyle says.
So I do, but I'm not happy about it. Apparently it's perfectly okay to admit you love the other guy, elevating the angst level to unbearable. I can practically hear the writers rubbing their hands together in an evil gesture, pleased with the situation.
I snap out of it as Fitz is ranting about how perfect Will is. Perfection… Look in a mirror Fitz!
How he saved me. How he did everything right and I want to grab him by his shoulders and shake him. I want to shout from the top of my lungs that I love him too.
Fuck, I really hate that book.
In a desperate attempt to get my feelings across I parallel his words about Will.
"And you dove through a hole in the universe for me!”
That seemed to do the trick, because the next thing I know, he is kissing me. It's not perfect but I'll take it! When he pulls away, I take the chance to show him how I feel. I pull him back in.
As we rest our foreheads together, I hope this means we have taken a step forward.
"We're cursed."
AAARGGH!
I let out a frustrated groan and swear that someday, when I get the chance, I will burn the damn handbook! Fitz's too!
*** *** ***
Bonus scene:
As a belated Christmas gift from me to you, I present you with a scene I really want in 3B. I'm sure you can guess the context. :)
***
She is smiling from ear to ear. It had been way too long since she’d laid eyes upon this particular spectacle.
Familiar voices and the sound of footsteps quickly approaching wakes her from her daze. She turns to see May and AC approaching and motions them to bite their tongues, pointing in the direction she's been staring. The two senior agents is taken aback but their frowns quickly disappears when they follow Daisy’s finger and gaze into the lab. Without taking their eyes of the welcomed sight of two scientists working together, smiling and laughing, they walk to stand beside the once delinquent hacker, now leader in training.
Comfortable silence falls upon the trio as they relish in the scene unfolding in front of them.
“FitzSimmons’s back”, Daisy deadpans, but can't help but smile.
A knowing smirk creeps upon the face of Melinda May as the former director utters, “About damn time”.