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Your funeral was today...
The sky was an ugly shade of gray. Thick storm clouds mingled amongst the once clear sky. It felt almost stereotypical...A stormy day for a funeral shrouded in despair.
It still doesn’t feel real…
Two figures lingered outside. They didn't say much, idling in silence. Neither wanted to go inside. They knew if they did it would be real...It would be real, and they'd have to accept it. Their baby brother was dead...He died at the ripe age of 18, at the hands of a murderer. They knew Wayne had been involved, but unanimously refused to accept that as a fact. It just didn't make sense...Wayne had never shown homicidal tendencies before so why the hell were people saying he was now!? Not likely. His eldest sister, Lindsay Cooper, fiddled with her gloves and stared at the drooping flowers in her hand. She squeezed them a little tighter, eyes threatening to fill with tears again. Her cheeks were flushed a miserable red, and her eyes were puffy. Her make up was streaked with tear tracks as she blinked her eyes rapidly. Beside her was Aiden, the middle child. He kept a stoic exterior, but the puffiness around his eyes told you how sad he really was. His hair was tousled from how many times he'd run his hand through it. He too held limp flowers, twirling the stems in his fingertips. They felt empty. Like a void was overtaking their souls.
To think the last time I saw you, that you were smiling…
Lindsay started crying again and Aiden wordlessly pulled her against him in a tight embrace. She wailed into his shoulder, as he swayed them slowly from side to side. This whole event felt wrong…press was everywhere, and it was a miracle neither sibling had been approached yet. This whole thing had become nothing more than a spectacle for people who didn’t know Wayne to celebrate his death…to rejoice in the downfall of what the media dubbed “another example of troubled youth snapping.” Wayne wasn’t “troubled youth,” he was a beautiful soul…That just reminded them what he’d apparently done…
Saying you loved us…and that you’d be home soon…
The rain began to fall and that pushed the two to finally go into the church. Lindsay forced herself to swallow her sobs and Aiden felt like he was choking on sand. The idled at the back, eyeing the coffin at the end of the aisle. Inside was just a jersey and a hat…Wayne’s body had never been found. Only Wayne and Emma hadn’t been accounted for…it was assumed that their bodies were taken. Lindsay liked to believe they were still alive somewhere, but Aiden knew the truth. They’d most likely been sold on the dark web to some weird collector…that made Aiden feel sick. His baby brother in a glass case somewhere…he bit back a gag and closed his eyes. James had talked him through so many nightmares of his baby brother’s face, bloody and contorted…it haunted him. He hadn’t told Lindsay about these dreams. She was already going through her own grief…
But when I got the call, It didn’t make sense…
Lindsay found her footing first, slowly walking down the dreary aisle, a look of misery in her eyes. Her gaze remained forward; eyes locked on the casket. She felt a creeping sense of dread run up her back as she reached the wooden box. Hearing cameras shutter and faint clicking sounds, she lowered her head, raising a hand to rest on the lid. Lindsay let out a shuddery exhale, fresh tears dripping down her face, as she leaned to rest her forehead against the wood. From her lips fell a loud anguished wail of despair as she hugged on the casket. One wail turned to full heart-breaking sobs. The sound echoing throughout the small chapel as she cried out her grief. Tyler was by her side immediately, holding her as she partially fell into him. He softly whispered in her ear, what he was saying nobody was quite sure. Aiden stood frozen at the top of the aisle. He wanted to go hold Lindsay, tell her it would be okay, but he felt as if his shoes were glued to the floor.
I didn't want to believe you could be so cruel…
Tyler slowly led Lindsay to sit down, but her legs gave out along the way, and Tyler followed her down. They stayed on the floor for a moment, the brunette shielding the blonde from view as she sobbed against his chest. He rubbed her back and kissed the top of her head, soothing her softly. She spoke quietly and incoherently as she reached for the wooden box for her brother. Her poor sweet brother…the youngest…the one Lindsay remembered helping take care of.
I’ve known you my whole life…so what could have possibly changed?
Lindsay remembered the first time she held Wayne in her arms. She was sixteen, preparing to leave for an important audition for a reality show. He was so little…so fragile…innocent…the world hadn’t burned him yet…he still had hope for the future. As a kid Wayne was never afraid. He was a confident child with a toothy grin and a booming laugh like their dads. Had he been scared when he died? What had he thought about? She knew his last words. Had he thought about her and Aiden? Raj had said he had mentioned them, but she wasn’t too sure. Raj never told her what Wayne had said, so while she hoped he had said something, she wouldn’t be upset to know he hadn’t. She hoped wherever he was that he was safe. That he was being taken care of…that he was okay…that’s all she wanted. She wanted him to be okay…even if she’d never get to hear about hockey again or be swept up in one of his big warm hugs…it’d be nice to know he was in a better place.
Was there anything we could have done to save you?
Aiden remained in place, starling slightly when arms were wrapped around his shoulder, and his lower back. The shorter male turned to look back and forth. On his left was Lake, James was on his right. Neither spoke, just held Aiden from the side as he blinked back tears. He didn’t want to approach. He couldn’t bring himself to. He knew there wasn’t a body in there, but his brain kept telling him that inside that box was Wayne, rotting away. It made his stomach churn. A small part of him wanted to crawl into that box with Wayne’s stuff. He didn’t want to be the youngest again. He wanted his little brother back…tears finally began to roll down the man’s cheeks as he stared at the wooden box. His vision clouded and he lifted his hands to cover his eyes. James moved to fully hug him now, leaning to ask if Aiden wanted to walk to the casket too. Lake joined the hug and said they’d help him get to it if he wanted. Aiden nodded and wiped at his eyes.
To bring you down a different path…?
James and Lake slowly led Aiden down the aisle, helping keep him up and moving as he stared at what awaited him at the end of the aisle. He shivered and his feet abruptly paused, his legs locking in place as he stared in wide eye. He trembled and shook his head, more tears rolling down his rosy cheeks. His hands pressed to his mouth, and he let out a shuddery breath behind it. James embraced him as he shook, with Lake joining in soon after. Aiden's sobs became slightly more audible which pulled Lindsay from her own tears. She stood, stumbling to her living brother, wiping at her eyes. Aiden looked at her, heartbroken, slowly stepping out of James and Lake's embraces. Lindsay pulled him into her own arms, softly soothing him as he silently cried. She pulled away to gently kiss his forehead, then rest hers against his. They exchanged no words, but their body language spoke for itself. The grieving duo remained there for a little longer, before Aiden gathered his bearings. He took a deep breath and peered over Lindsay's shoulder. She went to look too and understood. She asked if he wanted her to walk with him and he nodded.
It’s selfish but we can’t help it. Were you’re siblings…
With their hands clasped together, the siblings approached the casket, Lindsay's eyes were squeezed shut as she focused on the sound of her breathing. Aiden however was laser focused on it. His eyes bore holes through the wooden cover, hardened gaze holding him there. He felt like he couldn't breathe, like the air had been sucked from his lungs. He squeezed Lindsay's hand tightly and she squeezed back. The shorter male finally reached a hand out to touch the box. It made his heart slam against his ribcage. This was wrong. They shouldn't be here...They should leave while they still had the chance. He ripped his hand from the lid and shook it like he'd been burned, silent tears rolling down his cheeks as he finally pulled his gaze away, muttering a soft profanity under his breath. He told Lindsay he was ready to sit. So, they went to sit. Neither could bring themselves to look at the casket again after they were settled. Even as the service began, both stared at the floor. Lindsay leaning on Tyler, and Aiden holding James' hand in his lap.
Despite what you’ve done, we will always love you…
When asked if anyone wanted to give a speech, Lindsay was the first to stand. She talked about Wayne's childhood. What it was like to watch him grow up, compete on the show, meet his best friend...every achievement or milestone she could think of, she shared. Her voice cracked a few times and she'd let out the occasional shuddery breath, but she was smiling. A fond nostalgic smile, remembering the memories she had of Wayne and how much each one meant to her. She told story after story, taking up the better part of a half hour with her tales. She only wrapped up when she saw Aiden glancing at a piece of paper hesitantly. She thanked the few people in attendance and excused herself. She walked on shaking legs back to her seat and motioned for Aiden to go. He shook his head. He wasn't ready. So, their mother went. She spoke similarly to how Lindsay had. But looked as if a part of her had died. When she finished, Aiden finally willed himself to move. He stood, eyes already glossing with tears.
You'll always be our baby brother…
Aiden started by apologizing to Wayne. They had their moments where they hadn't gotten along, and the guilt had been eating Aiden alive since he got the call that Wayne had died. He continued on, saying he'd instead written a small letter to his baby brother. He looked at the small sheet of paper in his hands and started to read. "Your funeral was today...it still doesn't feel real..." Tears pricked the corners of his eyes again as he continued reading. He gripped the paper tighter, his hands trembling as he spoke, His voice failed him several times and by the end he'd been gripping the podium, wiping at his eyes. He chanced another look at the casket and finally stepped up to it fully, pressing his fingertips to his lips and lowering them down to rest on the lid. Then he was heading back to his seat, trying to seem more stoic than he looked. Lindsay hugged him from the side, resting her head on top of his.
Even if what you did was so messed up...
Watching the casket be lowered into the ground was a distressing sight. The siblings stood side by side, hands clasped together, tears streaming down their faces. The stone in front of the grave was sickening to look at. Wayne Gordon Cooper- Number 17, 13/07/2006, 24/07/2024- Son, Brother, Cherished friend. Hoot Hoot. It was impossible to look away. Even long after the others had walked away, the dirt had been placed back in the grave, and the rain had picked back up. They remained in place. Neither spoke, they didn't have the words. Wayne was dead and they'd never see him again. No more late nights at 24-hour diners, no more shopping trips, no more phone calls, game nights...no more fights, no more hugs, they'd never hear his voice again. They'd never feel the warmth of his presence. They'd never hear his boisterous laugh...A part of them died the day they got the call. Another died today. They shared an empty feeling. The sight of the grave was too much to bear. Even after everything he'd done...they wanted him back. He was the light of the family. He was the glue; he was the pride and joy...now he was gone. He was gone and left his big brother and sister to pick up the pieces together. He'd died eleven days after his birthday...He'd been actively killing people around his birthday...it was a sick gift to give.
Goodbye Gordie…see you when we see you…
The duo sat in the rain by the grave and swapped stories, talking about Wayne while the rain soaked them through. Neither cared about the rain. Wayne mattered more than the rain. James had draped his suit jacket over Aiden's shoulders before he left, and Tyler had given his to Lindsay when they'd first arrived at the graveyard. The siblings were wrapped in the coats, pretending that they kept them dry. It was dark when they finally left. Instead of going to their respective homes, they went to that same 24-hour diner they always did and kept talking. They laughed, they cried, and they split Wayne's favorite menu items. The booth felt emptier without Wayne there. But the stories seemed endless. Even if the food they were eating was gross or too much to eat in full, they did their best, considering it a last hurrah for Wayne's sake. When they left, the sun was starting to come up. They parted with a long hug outside Aiden's apartment building with the promise of meeting up again soon. Even if the grief they felt was slowly chipping away at the comforting nostalgia, it felt right to focus on the good times then the bad. Even if he'd done something so abhorrent...he was still their baby brother...he'd been dragged in unwillingly they knew that. Yet, they both knew, that even if Wayne had done this willingly, they'd still love him. Afterall, he was their baby brother. Forever and always...and they'd love him for the rest of their lives.
All our love- LiLi and Shrimp