Chapter Text
Outside his window, the world lay quiet, as if still dreaming. Taesan's alarm clock pierced the silence, a real herald of morning misery. From under his comforter, he groggily reached for the snooze button, his hand searching the bedside table in protest. Reluctantly, he cracked open his eyes, surrendering to the streaks of sunlight sneaking through a gap in the curtain.
He lay there for a moment, his bed a makeshift raft adrift in a sea of textbooks, pens, and snack wrappers, evidence of his late-night study session. The birds outside chirped like gossiping aunties, squabbling over the last crumb of bread. To Taesan, they were the true early risers on campus, while he was merely dragged into an unwritten agreement to get up and go again.
Navigating his cluttered room felt like tiptoeing through a minefield, dodging laundry piles and teetering stacks of books. He blamed the chaos on his heavy coursework load–it sounded better than admitting he was naturally messy.
Pulling on a hoodie that still held the faint scent of home, thanks to the laundry detergent his mother had slyly packed for him, Taesan slung his backpack over one shoulder and ventured into the crisp morning air. The chilly breeze nipped at his face, making him second-guess his wardrobe choices as he made his way to the social sciences building.
Lost in thought, Taesan wondered about the birds again, did they feel the weight of the sky as they soared? He scoffed, quickly dismissing his own poetic notions–it was too early for philosophy, too early for just about anything really. That included Professor Lee’s Introduction to Microeconomics, a class Taesan felt was best left for any time other than now.
Before entering the building, he noticed a group of students laughing and taking selfies with a campus statue. Walking past the lively group, he muttered under his breath, “Seriously, even the statues are more popular than me.” The sight sparked a pang of envy in him. Why can’t I be like that? he wondered. The ease with which everyone else mingled made him feel painfully alone.
Continuing on, his envy dissolved into a quiet sadness. If only I were more outgoing and charming–I might be laughing with them. He let out a sigh. It was a familiar ache, the wish to fit in more effortlessly with his classmates. But he quickly shook off the thought. Pretending to be someone he wasn't wouldn't solve anything.
As he slipped into the lecture hall, making a bee-line for his usual spot in the back, he made a small promise to himself to try a little harder. Maybe today he'd raise his hand in class, a small step towards closing the gap between his longing and his reality.
The room buzzed with a restless energy, as Taesan settled into his seat, pulling out his notebook and pen, more out of habit than necessity. From his vantage point he couldn't help but notice Myung Jaehyun a few rows ahead. Jaehyun's effortless charisma stood out in the mundane atmosphere of the lecture hall. Taesan had heard that Jaehyun was only taking the class as a credit filler, which amused him. While he was genuinely interested in the inner workings of economies–perhaps a little too enthusiastically for someone his age–Jaehyun was only here because he had no other option, yet he still managed to transform the dreary subject of economics into a social event.
Taesan tapped his pen against the edge of his notebook, watching as Jaehyun interacted with a couple of classmates, his laughter reaching even the distant corners of the room. It was a light, infectious sound that seemed to make the early hour a little less depressing.
Must be nice, Taesan mused wistfully, t o brighten a room just by showing up.
As Professor Lee began the lecture, speaking about some sort of economic models, Taesan's thoughts lingered for a moment longer on Jaehyun, before refocusing on the material. The complexity of the numbers and graphs provided a familiar comfort.
****
As the lecture ended, Taesan felt a wave of relief wash over him. He started following the crowd out of the lecture hall, his mind already on the solitude of the campus library.
Halfway down the stairs, he felt his backpack unzip slightly. In his attempt to secure it, his pen slipped from an outer pocket and clattered down the steps. He winced, watching it stop a few feet away. Before he could react, a figure swooped in, grabbing the pen with a fluid motion.
“Looks like you dropped this,” Jaehyun said casually, holding out the pen.
Caught off guard, his words lodged in his throat, Taesan could only nod silently and take the pen from Jaehyun's outstretched hand. As they locked eyes their fingers brushed briefly, a jolt of surprise surged through his body, leaving him flustered. Hastily, he left the lecture hall, not daring to look back.
Behind him, he heard a faint ripple of laughter from Jaehyun's friends. The sound made his cheeks burn with shame, and he could feel the weight of their amusement pressing uncomfortably against chest. Taesan chastised himself for his awkwardness, wishing he could have at least managed a coherent sentence in reply.
Outside, the cooler, less crowded corridor offered a moment of relief. Taesan's heart still raced from the encounter. Clutching the pen a bit too tightly, he reminded himself to breathe, unsettled by how such a minor incident had unnerved him.
As Taesan made his way toward the library, his path was obstructed by a gauntlet of over-enthusiastic club recruiters that lined the main walkway. Each one wielded clipboards like shields and flyers like swords, ready to conscript any passing student into their ranks. Taesan, who found the mere idea of social clubs as appealing as a surprise quiz on quantum physics, had honed his ability to dodge these people with skills that could rival an Olympic gymnast. He zigzagged through the corridor, ducking under the outstretched arm of someone singing the praises of ultimate frisbee—a sport that combined all the things Taesan avoided: sunlight, exertion, and overly spirited teamwork—and allowed himself a brief moment of pride in his escape before pushing through the double doors.
****
Exhausted after a day of lectures, Taesan trudged toward his locker, hoping to grab his textbooks for another late-night cram session. The corridors were deserted now, with most students having migrated towards the dorms or the library, leaving behind a calm that suited his tired mind.
He spun the combination lock and pulled open the door, expecting nothing more than the familiar disarray of scattered notes and dog-eared textbooks. Instead, something unexpected caught his eye.
Nestled among the usual mess was a neatly wrapped package, resting against one of his textbooks. Taesan's eyebrows shot up in surprise. His first instinct was suspicion. Perhaps it was a mistake or a prank; after all, who would leave a present for him, the master of blending into the background?
A perfect bow tied with plain string, held a small card in place, the size of those typically tucked into a bouquet of flowers. Taesan lifted it, noting the handwriting; slightly messy but careful, as if the sender wasn't used to such delicate tasks.
To the one who silently appreciates the world - someone notices
The simplicity of the message was touching, yet it left him with more questions than answers. Who could have noticed him? And why?
With curiosity and a rising flush of excitement, Taesan tore open the package. Inside was a book he had long admired in the campus bookstore but had never indulged in buying for himself: a collection of essays on philosophy and life. His heart thumped rapidly. The idea that someone had noticed such a small detail, and cared enough to give it to him was bewildering.
He scanned the empty hallway, half-expecting the mysterious gift giver to step forward from a shadowy corner, but there was no one. Whoever had left the gift was not interested in revealing themselves yet.
Clutching the book to his chest, Taesan closed his locker with a soft click. The book felt heavier than he expected, like it was loaded with more than just paper and ink. This mystery person had turned the end of a tiring day into the beginning of an intriguing puzzle. As he walked home, a slight smile tugged at his lips as he stepped into the cool air, clutching the book a little tighter. The card’s message replayed on a loop in his mind.
Someone notices .
****
Taesan sat cross-legged on his bed, flipping through a detective novel, hoping to glean some wisdom from the protagonist's sharp manoeuvres, but the pages offered little insight. With a sigh he tossed the book aside, running a hand through his hair in frustration.
"Really, Taesan? You thought Sherlock Holmes had all the answers?” he muttered, his brow furrowing gently. The idea that solutions to his real-life problems might be hidden in fiction now seemed ridiculous.
Propped up against his pillows, he stared at the ceiling, his cluttered room casting shadows around him. He glanced at the abandoned book,“If only my mystery was as simple as footprints in the snow,” he said wryly. But no, the clues to his secret admirer’s identity were subtler, woven unnoticed into his daily life.
With a resigned sigh, he rose from the bed, ready to face another day armed with nothing but a keen eye and determination. Maybe today would bring him closer to unravelling the mystery.
****
Taesan commenced his covert mission, feigning interest in improving his tablet's Wi-Fi signal, while discreetly studying his classmates’ handwriting for a match to the note. His attempts at stealth left much to be desired, earning him baffled glances and even an irritated “can I help you?” from a girl whose personal space he invaded a little too closely.
As he neared Jaehyun and his friends, his nerves betrayed him resulting in an accidental collision with Jaehyun's chair. Papers rusted, pens clinked and Taesan's cheeks flushed with embarrassment as he stammered apologies.
"Whoa, careful there," Jaehyun said with a quick, easy grin as he steadied his chair.
"Sorry!" Taesan blurted out once more. "I was just–um, not looking."
"You seem a little lost. Hunting for treasure?" Jaehyun smiled.
"Yeah, something like that. Just trying to, uh, get a good stretch in between notes." Taesan replied sheepishly.
Jaehyun chuckled, brushing off the awkward moment. "Well, if you're stretching, you’re doing it wrong. Need a quick tutorial?" His tone was light, teasing, making it clear he found the situation more amusing than annoying.
"No, no, I’m good. Just lost in thought and... stuff," Taesan replied, his voice trailing off as he realised how weird he must have looked, darting around the room.
"Stuff, huh?" Jaehyun echoed, still smiling. "Well, if you ever need a less chaotic way to look over notes, you’re welcome to join us here anytime." He gestured to an empty seat beside him.
Grateful for the friendly escape from his clumsy detective work, Taesan nodded, "Thanks. I appreciate it. Sorry again for the bump."
Despite the open invitation, Taesan had no intentions of accepting the offer. He'd embarrassed himself enough in front of Jaehyun.
Retreating to his seat he inwardly cursed at himself. He couldn't stop himself from glancing back at Jaehyun, who was collecting the scattered papers from his table, still smiling. These little moments only seemed to fuel his crush on his kind-hearted classmate.
****
Taesan shifted uneasily in his seat, his chopsticks idly pushing the food around on his plate, his eyes darting across the cafeteria. Every lingering gaze sent his heart racing, Is that guy staring at me because he knows something, or is he just spacing out? He tugged at the collar of his shirt, suddenly feeling constricted. That girl over there giggled when she looked this way; could she be the one? His mind kept concocting wild theories about potential admirers, which had him nervously chewing at his lip. Stop that, Taesan—no one here is watching you that closely. But the reassurance did little to calm the jittery feeling in his stomach.
His thoughts were abruptly interrupted by the sound of trays clattering down onto his table. Looking up, he saw Jaehyun, along with his friends Sungho and Riwoo, settling into the seats around him.
"Hope you don’t mind the company, it's packed in here today," Jaehyun said cheerfully, not really asking for permission but offering a friendly smile as if to compensate.
As Taesan adjusted to the unexpected company, Jaehyun smiled and began talking. “So, Taesan, how is your war with Economics going? Still on top of those supply-demand curves?” He asked, stirring his noodles casually.
"Uh, yeah, mostly just trying to keep up," Taesan said, his voice wavering under their intense stares. He couldn't help but notice Jaehyun's tone; was it pleasant banter, or something more probing?
Jaehyun? Interested in me? No, he's only being friendly.
Riwoo leaned in with a chuckle, angling his phone towards Taesan to share a funny YouTube video he was watching. "How about Professor Lee’s pop quizzes? I heard you nailed the last one. Have you got any tips for the rest of us?”
Taesan shifted uncomfortably, confused by how much Riwoo appeared to know about his academic record. "Just, um, read the material, I guess," he mumbled, scrutinising Riwoo’s face for any hidden meaning.
Sungho, who had been scrolling through his phone, glanced up. "Talking about reading material, I saw you at the library the other night. Working late or just looking for a quiet place to escape?" His tone was casual, but his eyes were sharply focused.
Taesan's thoughts raced as he considered their questions. Each appeared harmless enough, but their combined curiosity seemed particularly directed. Was this just typical interest or were they looking for something deeper?
He laughed awkwardly, attempting to keep things pleasant. "Yeah, I just needed a change of scenery from my dorm room walls, you know?”
As the polite laughter died down and the trio resumed chatting, Taesan's initial intrigue turned to distrust. Part of him couldn't shake the feeling there was more to this casual meal than meets the eye.
As the conversation lulled, Taesan saw his opportunity to slip away. “I've got a pile of reading to do. See you guys around,” he added hurriedly, trying to stay calm as he packed his belongings. Inside, his thoughts were spinning. Why in the world are they so interested all of a sudden?
He slung his bag over his shoulder and walked away, feeling the weight of their eyes on his back. As he exited the cafeteria, he couldn't stop thinking about what they had said. Is this just me overthinking it or are they trying to figure out something?
Approaching his locker, he took advantage of the chance to speak to Mina, the girl with the locker next to his, in hopes of receiving some reassurance.
"Hey, Mina, have you seen anyone unusual lurking around here, maybe someone snooping at the lockers?"
Mina seemed surprised and slightly concerned. "No, nothing like that. Is everything okay with yours?" she asked, her forehead creased with worry.
"It's all good. Just double-checking something," Taesan said with a phoney smile before fleeing, feeling embarrassed by his paranoia.
****
Taesan is deeply immersed in his study materials in the library when he notices Jaehyun taking the seat across from him. The newcomer had broken his focus but he wore a polite grin as he glanced at him.
“Hey,” Taesan says, shifting his books slightly to make room.
“Hi,” Jaehyun responded with a friendly smile as he organised his own
materials on the table. "How's the studying going?"
"Not too bad today, I'm getting through a lot," Taesan stated, feeling more at ease.
After a minute, Jaehyun leaned forward, his voice a low murmur against the calm background of the library. "By the way, you seem like you enjoy reading, you into any good books lately?”
Taesan stopped; surprised by the personal attention. He had already dismissed the prospect of Jaehyun being his admirer, blaming it on his own wishful thinking. Keeping his surprise hidden, he offers up the name of a book, but not the one his secret admirer had left for him. Inside, his heart fluttered with faint hope, wondering if Jaehyun's interest extended beyond small talk.
****
Alone in his dorm room, Taesan retrieved an old sketch pad from the bottom drawer of his desk, a relic from a high school year’s impulse to take up art. He sharpened a pencil and began drawing caricatures of the people who had piqued his interest throughout the day: Jaehyun, Sungho and Riwoo.
He started with Jaehyun, trying to replicate that charming grin that made everyone feel like they were longtime friends.
“Jaehyun noticing me is like a celebrity spotting someone in the nosebleed seats at a performance. It's an entertaining thought, but let’s not kid ourselves,” Taesan remarked as he sketched. Nonetheless, a part of him fluttered slightly at the prospect, perhaps the same part that bought lottery tickets once in a blue moon.
After finishing his sketches, Taesan's pencil paused over the surface of the paper while he studied the others: Sungho and Riwoo. Their features were there, expressions captured in graphite, but he couldn't tell what was beyond their eyes. Their behaviour had been unusual, for sure.
Taesan laughed softly; why would anyone notice anything about him? What would they actually see? A professional procrastinator who tends to overthink and underdo?
Taesan reclined back in his chair, his eyes moving from one sketch to the next. The mystery of the hidden admirer hung in the air, tangible as the pencil smudges on his fingertips. Further observations and interaction were required, the puzzle was not going to solve itself, but at least he had a place to start.
Taesan remained at his desk, casually twirling a pencil between his fingers, while the night grew quieter and more sombre. His mind spun with thoughts, each one more ludicrous than the last. Finally, he came to a decision that would either reveal the mystery or embarrass him further.
Taesan picked a blank sheet of paper and started writing a note using slow, deliberate strokes.
Thanks for such a great gift. It was very unexpected and I appreciate the thought. I would love to thank you in person. Let’s meet. Just choose a time and place and drop me a note here.
He reread the message multiple times while tracing the letters with the tip of his finger, considering whether to soften the words or keep them firm and clear. Is this too forward? What if this scares them off? With every read, the decision to send the note became more real.
He exhaled slowly, his hands shaking slightly as he carefully folded the note. The silence in his bedroom seemed to amp up the beating of his heart. What happens if they don't respond? What if they didn't want to be discovered? The doubt gnawed at him; he desperately wanted confirmation that he wasn't misinterpreting the signals, that he was actually seen and understood.
With a final, long breath, he stood up, holding the note securely between his fingertips. As he stepped out into the hallway to hand over his future to an unknown admirer, he reflected on how this could change everything.