Work Text:
The first meeting:
"Has she lost her mind?" Kate asks as she watches Violet show a hedgehog off to all her family. "I have checked the law so many times and isn't illegal, but a hedgehog? Who just adopts a hedgehog? How is that normal?"
Penelope chuckles, clearly enjoying this. "I wouldn't call any Bridgerton normal." She points out watching as her husband angrily yells at his brother for cheating at scrabble. Colin accusing Gregory of messing with his tiles, Gregory laughing because Colin got the bad tiles. No one bothers to intervene. Best to let it play out. Penelope is certain that the truth is a combination of Colin's bad luck and the tiles being swapped, but she is almost certain it is Benedict responsible for the swapping based on the way he is hunched over laughing on the sofa opposite his brothers.
"You can't walk a hedgehog, you can't play with it, what do you even feed it?" Kate continues angrily. "And who names a hedgehog Fluffy?" She adds bitterly. Penelope can't work out why Kate dislikes the hedgehog so much, it's an unusual choice of pet but other then it's prickles Penelope thinks it's actually quite cute. Not that she would dare to admit that to Kate and she supposes that her and Colin don't yet have kids and Kate does. She wonders if Kate worries about one of her children impaling their foot on Fluffy's spikes.
"Mummy I love Fluffy." Edmund Bridgerton skips over to them. "Can we have a Fluffy?"
Kate groans. "No darling we have a Newton."
The first incident:
A cry of pain fills the Bridgerton house and everyone comes running. Kate, Anthony and the kids are at Violet's house for tea. Gregory and Hyacinth have taken the kids on a walk so only Kate, Anthony and Violet are in the house. The pair come rushing into the living room to find Kate glowering at Fluffy the hedgehog, who was stretched out in his box looking completely innocent, her finger bleeding. "He did it on purpose." Kate points at the hedgehog. "He was laid down when I went to pick up the stupid paper and then suddenly he was spiking me. I told you he doesn't like me." She gives Fluffy a pointed look. Violet sighs unsure of what to say and Anthony does his best not to laugh at how irrational his wife is being.
"It's a hedgehog Kate, his brain his tiny. I'm not sure he is capable of malice." Anthony calmly states, still looking amused. "Now I think I have a plaster in my pocket." He rummages in the pocket of his jeans and pulls out a Peppa Pig plaster, waving it triumphantly. Kate sighs. She is sure her husband is making a point. Even worse when she looks over at Fluffy she is almost certain he is smirking at her.
The second incident:
The stupid hedgehog her mother in law was still insisting on keeping munched happily on whatever green leaf violet had given him. The house was empty, Kate had only popped in to pick up something for Edmund but now she was tempted. Next door's cat might enjoy a tasty hedgehog or she could just take it to the animal sanctuary where it would be happy but no where near her or her family. She is so tempted, but then she reminds herself that she would be upset if someone made Newton disappear and she refrains from going near it. She refuses to call it him. It has a vendetta against her she is sure and she wont give it the dignity of treating it like a pet. She absolutely will not call it Fluffy. Even if she liked it Fluffy would still be a terrible name, but she loathes it. At first she wasn't sure why, but then she knew it was a violent thing and it seemed to hate only her. The feeling was mutual.
She gathers up the papers and is heading down the hall to where she left her shoes when he attacks. She steps on the prickles and cries out in pain. She looks down to see Fluffy underneath her. The stupid thing looking incredibly smug as it rolled onto his back just like Newton did when he wanted his belly tickled. "I will not pet you." She glares at him, hobbling to the stairs where she can sit down and inspect her foot better. The stupid thing follows her. She didn't even know hedgehogs could move with any speed. It was still looking smug. Her foot is bleeding, although not badly and she now notices Violet's cream carpet is stained with drops of red. "See what you've done." She yells at the smug bastard. Now she has to clean the carpets. Violet only recently had them put in now that her kids are older, still with grandchildren Kate didn't think it was a wise idea. It doesn't matter though because it is a daughter in law who has stained them.
When the carpets are cleaned she sighs, treading carefully as she makes her way to the door. Sat by it, if you could call it sitting, was a still far to smug looking Fluffy clearly very proud of himself.
The third incident:
"That's it." Kate shrieks as she storms through her front door, Anthony and all three of his brothers are sat in their living room as she storms in.
"What have you done?" Benedict asks his brother, he doesn't think he has ever seen his sister in law so angry and Anthony has done many stupid things.
"You," She points at poor Colin who visibly gulps. "tell your mother it is Fluffy or me!" She screeches. She is aware she sounds insane but she doesn't care. The stupid hedgehog had gone too far this time.
"Darling," Anthony uses a voice he uses on his children and Kate could murder him. "did you step on him again?"
Kate flips out. "Step on him?" She shouts. "Step on him?" She repeats, Benedict now looks amused, Colin looks flabbergasted, Gregory is watching and Anthony's face tells her he knows he has messed up. "That stupid thing impaled my leg, and don't you dare blame me. It knows exactly what it's doing." She adds. All she had done was sit on the sofa and it had spiked the back of her knee. It was his most painful attack yet and she was not going to put up with it.
"And what if our mother chooses her hedgehog over you?" Benedict has the audacity to ask. Anthony and Kate both turn to glare at him, Colin laughs, Gregory looks like he's gone into shock. He has never seen Kate angry.
"Then I will take her grandchildren and move them as far away from here as possible." Kate replies.
"And Anthony?" Colin asks. "Because if you say you'll take him I might just fill Mothers house with hedgehogs." Anthony glowers at his brother. Kate chuckles.
"It would be his choice." Kate responds.
Anthony turns to her. "You'd leave me over a hedgehog?" He blinks at her as though she has lost her mind and maybe she has.
"It is not a hedgehog it is a spawn of satan sent to break me." She states calmly. Her husband and brothers in law all give her looks, but she shrugs. "And I will not let it win."
Kate's revenge:
It is a new level of chaos in Violet's house as team in law set about replacing Fluffy the hedgehog with the hedgehog Kate had replaced which would also be called Fluffy or Fluffy II. It is already so much cuter then the original Fluffy and Kate can now see the appeal of owning a hedgehog as new Fluffy stretches out his paws and makes himself at home in old Fluffy's box, but everyone is frantic checking just to be sure Fluffy isn't still there. The situation isn't really Penelope's fault. She had left on Tuesday evening having fed and watered Fluffy and come back Wednesday to find him gone, but she couldn't tell the Bridgerton family they would not be happy. Quietly Kate thinks Anthony would incorrectly assume she had taken her revenge on the animal and she didn't need that accusation or following argument.
While everyone is searching she steps on something prickly. Original Fluffy is curled up behind the sofa, sleeping, and he only slightly opens an eye when Kate appears. This is her chance she thinks. Once everyone is satisfied that original Fluffy won't be returning Kate scoops him into an old shoe box in her car and taken him to nature reserve her client worked at. She hands him over and leaves. She'll take this secret to her grave.
Old Fluffy with a vendetta was gone, new Fluffy was actually rather cute and she could give him a chance and Violet will never know. She doesn't feel guilty and even if she did she could have done something a lot worse to that stupid thing. At least old Fluffy was still alive and even better she would never have to see him again.