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A retired highwayman and a crusader were getting their clothes back on while sitting on the old bed.

The older man looked over his shoulder to the younger man, face buried into his hands. He sighed, shaking his head while speaking in his deep baritone,

"Don't force yourself, kid. Some days ain't it."

"Dismas...I'm sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry for, Reynauld."

The knight coughed out his words, stuttering,

"...Dismas. I...I still love her."

The old brigand's eyes went wide open.

Santamaría

(EN: Holy Mary)

There were a few people who had to stop the scuffle in the room.

First came good sister Junia, in sadness and tears that her close friends were yelling.

"Stop it you two! Stop it!!"

Next came the brave-heart Boudica, a heathen pagan but a watcher to keep all under control.

"What is going on here?! Someone pull these guys away!"

Lastly was the wise leper Baldwin, formidable and strong, his hands strong to break the fight but his voice calm and composed.

"Maybe let's start with what's going on here."

The retired highwayman Dismas was the one more riled up, heaving in anger but finally trying to calm down, amidst Junia's tears.

"What were you thinking, Reynauld?"

"Dismas--"

"Why did you lead me on like this?"

"I--"

"It was you who asked, you who told me that-that we...we could...if we wanted to...

These are real feelings, Reynauld!"

His face was pained, his voice strained.

"Why didn't you say anything sooner? "

The crusader knight, Reynauld, opened his mouth to interject but the words couldn't find the power to escape his throat.

Nothing except a soft "I am sorry."

"I am sorry? That's all? This all amounts to a 'sorry', Reynauld!?"

The knight closed his eyes in pain.

Junia shook her head,

"Paracelsus, that Plague Doctor, may God bless her soul, she won't want to see us like this.

Even so, Reynauld, why did you hide your feelings from Dismas?

It was you who told me your hidden love first, was that a lie as well? This wound is my wound too."

Reynauld's eyes widened in sadness,

"Junia, no..."

Boudica frowned in confusion,

"No? Wait, then what's, what's going on here then?

So did tin can here lie or not? Who's pulling who's wool over who's eyes--"

Only Baldwin took a glance at Reynauld and nodded at him, not in reassurance but in chance.

"Speak, and let's listen."

People come and go from the Hamlet all the time. "Heroes" looking to make their mark, and later leaving broken, battered, shattered.

All hope died in the Hamlet, the stench of death permanently wafting through the air. If it wasn't physical injuries, it was madness. If it wasn't madness, it was to be damned.

There's was, however, a consistent source of light that kept the Hamlet and its inhabitants going. Previously, all shops were closed and no one dared open their doors.

After two heroes arrived to the Hamlet, and later a party of four clearing the Warrens, people started to have hope again.

The killer rogue.

The stalwart sister.

The clever doctor.

The valiant knight.

The doctor has passed on, and now the knight was leaving.

The people of the Hamlet and heroes alike, both fledglings and experienced, grouped together to the entrance of the village to watch a legend leave.

Reynauld smiled and shook hands, thanking everyone for helping him survive this far. He gave words of encouragement to the new heroes, and imparted his knowledge to the experienced.

Junia prayed for him,

"Oh Lord, please bless this knight's journey, and may he return home safely."

The knight was smiling, but he kept looking around for faces in the crowd. That familiar weathered face of a retired old brigand, yet nowhere to be found.

A whack of guilt.

"Junia, he's not here, isn't he?"

The good sister bowed her head low,

"No, he said he was getting some fresh air. Too crowded."

"I...understand. I wish I could speak to him more, now that my head is clearer, but..."

"There's no going back, isn't it, Reynauld? You're really returning to your family? Your wife, your son? I cannot blame you."

Junia looked at Reynauld, his helmet masking his expression. But underneath those dark slits in his helmet, she spotted eyes with a mysterious yet kind understanding.

"Thank you, Junia. I can't say what happens next, but I also know what I must do."

 

What happened to Mother Mary after the birth of Jesus? Venerated Saint, Holy Mother.

 

Because she deserved better. Because she deserved to know the truth. Her husband lives.

 

Should she weep, carrying the corpse of Christ the Savior.

Jesus Christ, the Savior, rose again by the love of God!

The Son who was crucified, should he have suffered for his Father?

 

Because a boy shouldn't grow up with paternal absence, just because of his father's selfish wishes.

Because he is my son.

 

Mother Mary,

he was a holy man.

Holy Mary,

is he still?

Reynauld closed his eyes and spoke his quick prayers. Before he left for good, before saddling up his horse, he looked behind one last time.

Don't do this to yourself, he won't come.

He bit his lip and closed his eyes, trying to hide a tear. Just then, a familiar voice rang out.

Dismas's voice.

"Reynauld."

The crusader's eyes went wide and he turned around quickly, to only see the old bandit moving through the crowd.

"Dismas!"

Both Junia and Reynauld exclaimed, before Reynauld awkwardly coughs and adjusts himself.

"I uh, I thought you were still mad so...uh...you know I..."

"I still am, Reynauld."

His face stern and frowning, as always.

The crusader paused awkwardly, his helmet still hiding his face but very obviously was making a big "ohhh" expression.

He awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck, but quickly took a deep breath and firmed himself up, thinking of a good response.

Finally, he let go and stood at ease.

"Dismas, thank you for everything. It's just, I need to think this through, you know?

I'm a little more confident now, still not sure how it'll go but...I know I have also lo--"

"It's okay, Reynauld. You don't have to tell me anything else. After everything, you still deserve my goodbye."

"Dismas..."

"But one last thing, why are you still wearing your helmet?"

The crusader was a little surprised, and so was the sister.

"What's wrong with his helmet, Dismas?"

Dismas came forward, and took the helmet off, revealing the look on the surprised young knight.

"When you return to your family, don't come back a knight. Come back a father, come back a husband."

He grunted, letting his leftover annoyance show.

"Come back a man, Reynauld. Promise me that at least."

It was ridiculous how Dismas could speak that way with so much calm and seriousness. Reynauld squeezed his eyes, and finally nodded and smiled.

"I promise. For real this time."

"Travel safely then."

He returned his helmet, a sign for the knight to be off.

With a signal and a wave, the gallant hero waved a goodbye to the masses and finally took off, his war companion galloping into the woods,

leaving behind a cloud of dust and dirt.

He rides on, pass the woods, the treacherous cliffs, the rolling verdant plains, and finally, home.

Her eyes, lost to herself, watching a small boy, chained to her sacred duty of matrimony and motherhood.

Her face turning around, her eyes brightened, mouth in total shock.

The small boy was confused at first, then turned to face the same horizon as his mother and his eyes went wide.

Riding against the sunset, his valiant gaze, shining sword, helmet down and that familiar golden smile,

her crusader, the boy's hero.

Saint Madonna.

It was in the evening when the weekly carriage arrived, bringing along a new group of bright-eyed heroes looking for a purpose.

Used to be that Reynauld and Junia, the veterans of the posse, would invite the fresh meat and screen them through. If they pass the requirements, they get to enter the Hamlet, join the fame.

If they fail, well, it's sad but at least there's beds and an inn before the next carriage comes.

With Reynauld gone, Boudica offered to help replace him, but Dismas went up instead.

"It's alright, I'll handle it."

"You? Thought you'd be in the brothel by now, HAR!"

Junia smiled gently, organising the application papers before the carriage arrived.

"Thank you, Dismas. I understand it must be difficult for you."

"You're a hard worker, Junia. This is nothing compared to what you handle for everyone else."

Stern and curt as always, and not one to prattle on. She appreciated the help, but did miss Reynauld's constant chattering. It made the nights go by faster.

The bell tower rang and the carriage eventually came to town while they were sorting application papers.

"Oh, so quickly this time!"

"Let's go meet our sorry sods."

Not an impressive group, although one of the knights did stood out.

The highwayman did notice the shining amour, but grunted under his breath, "he'll never beat him."

Junia scanned over the knight's application,

"And you said you're from the 2nd Crusade? Impressive! What brought you here then?"

"Oh I heard there's monsters here, dark creatures you know? It would be against my belief of all things holy to not vanquish these foes!"

The fiery knight struck a pose, which got Junia to laugh a little, although it barely amused the cranky former bandit, folding his arms with a stern and rigid scowl.

"Make this a holy mission for all you like, knight, but this isn't a game. Lives are at stake here, do you understand that?"

"Oh...oh yes! Yes of course!"

The knight held up his large broadsword in a defensive pose,

"That's why I'm also here to sell my skills as a defender! If you need a guy who can take the hit, I'm your man! That's what I promised at least."

Junia tilted her head in confusion,

"Promise?"

"Yeah. Promised to return to my family, not as a knight.

And here I come back, your man."

The two heroes' eyes widened in shock.

"That's right, isn't it, Dismas?"

Time waits for no man, my friends!

I married my wife young, both of us eager to run away and make new lives for ourselves.

My son was barely a toddler before I left to join the Second Crusade. We were legendary, and I became one of their captains. But we were ruined men.

Crusade in name only, we plundered and sacked, my lust for treasure insatiable.

 

When I came back, I knew I couldn't face her. She was still so lovely, but I wasn't the same. Common bandit I am, I fled like a coward.

All these years later, she still waited with my son, but time has made its permanent mark.

Ti's is true, I love the woman I married. She loves the man she married. We love our son, our growing pride.

 

But I'm not the man she married. And I won't marry the woman she is. In truth, I am relieved that she has healed and moved on.

But I'm still stuck in time, in love with the idea of her but not her.

 

"Heal from your scars, Reynauld", she pleads. Her crusader, but not her saint.

Madonna as you are, but not my Mary.

 

"But what of you, my son?"

 

"And I'll be fine, because I know who you are. You're a Crusader! You have won a hundred battles, and you'll keep fighting and winning more of them, because that's what heroes do right?"

 

"I'm no hero,"

 

"But I know your friends think you are!"

 

Dismas, I still love her. I love the memories we had together, and I won't trade them for anything else.

"Reynauld, you...but why?"

Dismas was at a lost for words, but his expression grew so soft, his eyes misty.

But I would be lying if I told you that I didn't mean what I said,

"Oh, I did tell you that I would return home, but I didn't say for good, didn't I? Haha!"

Because you deserved better. Because you deserved to know the truth. The knight returns.

Junia groaned as Dismas's face went hot red, grabbing and shaking him,

"We thought you're gone for good, crusader! You have a lot to answer for!"

"Hey but I really didn't know if I can settle things properly there!"

And I promise, for real this time, to come back for you, my love,

Venerated Saint, the Immaculate Virgin, Queen of Heaven, Madonna and the Child.

...Santamaría.

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