Chapter Text
"You know, I don't like your boyfriend."
Keigo paused in the kitchen, throwing a glance over his shoulder at Touya who was sitting at the counter. He lightly chuckled and shook his head.
"I know. It's not the first time you told me this.”
"Well, because I mean it," Touya grumbled under his breath, frowning at nothing in particular.
"But why?" Keigo asked absent-mindedly. "You keep saying you can't stand him and whenever I ask you why, you don't give me a reason."
Touya let out a sigh, watching Keigo resume opening the cabinets to find what he needed.
He pulled out two mugs and a jar of sugar and started to make coffee for both of them.
He moved around Touya's apartment with ease, without bumping into anything or lingering awkwardly in a corner. He knew where to look for what he needed.
It wasn’t a surprise. Not really.
After all, Keigo used to live here with Touya before.
They had been friends since they were kids. Grew up together, went to the same school, moved in together after college.
At some point during all of this, Touya had fallen for Keigo.
He didn't know what he should do with his feelings. He was afraid of Keigo leaving him if Touya were to tell him how he felt about him. That Keigo wouldn’t love him the way Touya did. Touya was afraid of rejection, so he had kept his secret close to his heart, loved Keigo in silence, and longed for more but never said anything.
If anything, from an early age, Touya had learned that he had no rights to ask for more, to be content with whatever little the world threw at him. Whether it was his father’s conditional attention, his mother’s rare stable moods, his siblings’ tolerance towards him. Keigo’s presence in his life.
Then, Keigo started to date someone. After a while, he told Touya he was planning to move out.
Now, there was an empty place left by Keigo in Touya's apartment.
When Keigo was packing his belongings, he had decided to keep his favourite mug behind.
"It belongs here," Keigo had said, looking at his and Touya's mugs: one was painted with red feathers and the other with blue flames. "I want it to be here."
You belong here too, were the words touya had swallowed back.
There were many reasons Touya could give as to why he didn't like Keigo's boyfriend, but each of them would sound like a love confession.
"I just don't like him. No reason," Touya said instead.
"He's not a bad guy," Keigo poured hot coffee into their mugs. "And besides, I like him.”
His last line was like a dagger piercing Touya's heart, but he supposed he deserved the pain for being too coward to talk to Keigo when he should have, when he could, when his eyes would meet Keigo's from across the room, when Keigo's hand would linger on his for a bit too long.
(When Keigo would rest his head on Touya’s shoulder, both of them staying up to talk about anything and everything. Instead of cracking a lame joke back then, Touya should’ve said something else.)
Alas, Touya was a coward.
A hand touched Touya's cheek lightly, pulling him away from his thoughts. Keigo gave him a small smile, sliding Touya's mug across the counter towards him.
"He's not a bad guy, Tou,'' Keigo repeated and Touya wished they could stop talking about his boyfriend already. Even though it was him who started this conversation. "I really wish you could get along with him.”
"Not a chance. I don't have to like him," Touya said stubbornly, picked up his mug and gulped down his coffee to avoid answering Keigo.
He welcomed the burn.