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Heaven was a cage that trapped the freedom he once had. Hell was the cage that walled him in to keep from the outside.
Aziraphale and Crowley, now known as the archangel and the duke. All their existence they spent intertwined, and know they lived in different sides. The good and the bad, black and white, no more in between. No more shared wine or good music, no more meals at the ritz or walks in the park, everything was dull, lifeless, and dark.
Aziraphale spent his time sitting at a desk they said he deserved. He spent his time being filled with their false praise and a faux cheery smile. The angels around him wore white, a symbol of purity and innocence, how deceiving it was.
He was neither blind nor deaf, he could see their stares, he could hear their quiet teasing. An angel who fell in love with a fallen angel, a demon. They looked at him as if he were tainted, maybe he was, god, how he missed it, how he missed the mess of it. Everyday was like a splash of colour, filled with chaos yet liberty made it worthwhile, Crowley was his freedom, two things he gave up and could never have again.
Amidst their judgement however, he felt sympathy, how they were just as caged as he was, how the others never got to feel the winds that combed through your feathers. But Aziraphale actually tasted it, making heaven a bitter decision to swallow.
Everyday, when he was alone, he would pick his wings, pluck the feathers that once gave him freedom, until all he had were scars that he hid from the rest of heaven. A flightless bird he was, caged and kept away, chained to the floor and pulled to their whims. There were days when it was all too much, how he would pluck fist full of feathers from his wings, and watch as the white feathers gently hit the floor. Maybe if he wasn't a bird anymore, they wouldn't have a reason to keep him caged.
Crowley came down to hell and took the offer. It was a distraction perhaps, but it was more like protection more than anything. Being a duke of hell meant he was untouchable, the walls of hell caged him in, protected him from the cruelty that waited for him in the outside.
Yet, even through the evil he convinced himself he was, the angel haunted him, in his dreams, his thoughts, every waking moment he was consumed by him.
The demons beyond their teasing understood to a degree. They all knew the pain of falling, they knew how agony felt, they could barely fathom falling in love with something they deemed was forbidden. Amongst their wicked ways, they had a tiny space for sympathy for the duke that fell twice.
Crowley always thought he was brave, how he dived head first, damming the consequences, especially when it meant it was for Aziraphale. But that kiss was his last moment of true courage, most of the time he hid away among the shadows, rebuilding defenses he once demolished for him, hiding behind his evil smile, masking the grief and isolation he felt in the cage he built for himself to keep himself safe.
Aziraphale lost all sense of time, everything was one blurry and depressing mush. Every meeting, every encounter, every thing he did he could barely remember. It was suffocating, how the walls threatened to crush him, lost track of why he was here and who he was.
What did he say? 'make change'? He laughed maniacally at the memory. "We could make a difference." He said to him, how stupid he was. You can make change if you had power, what he had was an illusion of power, there was no magic, it was merely a trap. He chose an illusion over something that was real, how imbecilic. One day, on a rare occasion the metatron visited, he likes to check if the shackles were still in place.
"Archangel Aziraphale! How have you been?" They said, Aziraphale found his voice rather annoying and shrill.
"Alright."
"How have been your plans coming along?"
"What plans?"
"Oh dear, your time on earth has made you forgetful." They laughed. "The second coming, how is that going along?"
"Oh. Well, I haven't really started."
"What do you mean... Haven't started?"
"I mean, should we really do it? This will destroy earth-
"That's the point darling."
Aziraphale closed his eyes and breathed. He hated it, he hated when they would call him names. "I don't think this is a good idea."
"Well it's not for you to decide."
"WELL WHAT IS THE POINT OF ME THEN?!" Aziraphale screamed, taking the Metatron by suprise. The archangel took calming breaths. "Why did you invite me to be the archangel? I agreed to this to make a difference, i wanted peace-
"This is peace-
"NO, this is a war you want to entain yourselves! You want to look down and reign suffering to the mortals for what exactly? What do you want from them? You want to make them suffer because they are sinners? That is big coming from creatures who pride themselves for being proformatively righteous."
"That's ENOUGH. How dare you speak like that, you know what happens to angels who questions the divine. You don't want to fall like that filthy demon Crowley."
Aziraphale snapped, he pushed them against the wall, pinning him against him, spreading his scarred wings, more red than white. "Dont you dare speak about him." He growled. He swore he could see the flash of fear in the Metatron's eyes. "He has twice more good than you."
The Metatron scoffed. "Please. If he was why is he wreaking havoc on earth right now? He took up being the duke of hell, because he's a demon, and he is filled with evil, always was, always will be.
"That's not...no."
"See for yourself." Aziraphale shook his head in disbelief. "Why are you acting so surprised?"
"Crowley would never- stop feeding me with your lies."
"I'm an angel, I do not lie..."
Aziraphale closed his eyes once again and moved away. "Why did you do it? Why me? Why did you ask me?"
"Why are you acting like it is my fault? You took the offer."
"Because you manipulated me... I just wanted him to be happy." He sighed. "I can't do this anymore... I shouldn't have gone up here in the first place-
"You can't quit being an archangel!" They said, panic raising in his voice a little. Aziraphale didn't respond, he just marched up to the elevator. "Archangel Aziraphale!"
Crowley never did like hell, that's why he chose to be on earth, it was beautiful there, he has always appreciated beauty. He would usually sneak up to earth and drive around, and every time he was there, he would always end up back at the book shop. Sometimes he would talk to Muriel, they'd have tea or sometimes wine, well Crowley would have wine, and Muriel drank juice. Sometimes, he would even listen to what Muriel knew about the archangel, it was always the same, he looked tired, like everything in him was drained. Crowley tried not to care, but he always failed.
One night he drove to the bookshop like he always did, and entered, the lights were dimmed a little. "Muriel?"
No answer.
His panic started to rise a little. "Muriel?"
"She's not here." Crowley whipped his head around to the sound of a familiar voice. "She went out to buy cake or something, for the tea." He chucked softly. "I think she forgot that she's an angel and can just miracle one."
Crowley stared in disbelief. He tried to speak but perplexed sounds came out instead.
"Hello Crowley." He said with amusement laced in his voice. Crowley looked at him until he met his now purple eyes, a sign of his new status. That seemed to pull him out, and he stood straight.
"What are you doing here?" The duke said flatly.
"Paying a visit I suppose."
"Right. Okay, then I'll leave-
"You don't have to do that."
"I think I do."
"Please... Don't leave."
Crowley chuckled. "Why should I stay when you didn't?"
"I... I deserve that."
"You deserve a lot more."
"Hm." The angel hummed in agreement. "I do. I don't think I even deserve you talking to me right now."
"You don't."
"Yet here we are."
Crowley signed in resignation. "Here we are."
They were ingulfed in silence.
"So it's true... You're now the duke of hell."
"I couldn't just stay here drowning in my sorrows couldn't I?"
"I suppose so. It's just funny."
"What's funny."
"I thought we didn't need heaven or hell."
"We didn't, until you chose heaven over me."
"I... I actually chose heaven for you."
"Oh don't feed me that bullshit."
"I just, wanted us to be together, as angels."
"Why couldn't we just be together as we were? Why can't you just accept that I'm a demon Aziraphale, and you can't change that, centuries you have always reminded me time and time again that you're good and I'm the evil one, you never really accepted me, so you wanted me to be an angel because you couldn't fathom being with a demon."
"Is that what you think?"
"What else is there to think?"
"Crowley... I wanted us to be angels because you were so happy when all you did was create stars, I remember your face, how bright your smile was... I just wanted to give that back to you."
"But I was happy as we were angel. I was happy with the quiet nights here, the shared wine, the walks in the park, the lunch at the ritz. I was happy because I was with you."
"Oh..." The angel had to sit down. "I just- i thought, oh dear." He buried his face into his hands. It took everything in Crowley not to comfort him. "I'm sorry Crowley... I- dear, I'm so very sorry."
Crowley nodded jerkily. "I think it's too late for that."
The angel's head snapped up. "Please, please what can I do to make it up to you." At that moment, Crowley could feel his walls crumbling down, he was petrified at how easily the angel demolished the walls he's built up for months. Crowley walked to him cautiously, and the archangel followed him with his eyes, he watched as Crowley kneeled, and gasped softly when he held his hands.
"Just... Hold me Angel."
Aziraphale surged forward and wrapped his arms around him, sobbing in relief. Crowley buried his face into the angel's neck, for now, letting go of grievances. "Missed you so much angel."
"I missed you too."
Crowley snaked his arms around Aziraphale until it reached his back, and jumped a little when the angel hissed. "What's wrong."
"Nothing, it's just my wings they're a little sore."
"Let me see."
"Crowley they're fine-
"Let me see." He said, this time stern.
Aziraphale sighed and spread his wings, Crowley gasped as he saw it, they, were scarred and devoid of feathers, like it was plucked. "Oh angel, you idiot, what did you do?" He ran his hand on the feathers that were still there.
"I just... Got stressed. It will grow back."
Crowley sighed and let Aziraphale hide them. "What did they do to you up there?"
"I don't want to talk about heaven or hell Crowley, I just want to be with you right now."
"...okay angel." He said softly. "Are you going back?"
"Crowley-
"I know, no heaven or hell talk... Buta are you?"
"I suppose I have to."
"Why? They treat you like shit."
"Duty."
"Oh screw that angel." He shook his head and twisted his face and stood up. "Look what they did to your wings-
"I technically did that-
"What reason do you have to go there!"
"I can stop it... Stop the second coming, keep earth safe, keep the things you love safe, the wine, the music, everything."
"But you're wrong! You'll be putting in danger what I care most in this damn universe."
Aziraphale looked at him, he looked for a long time, Crowley didn't understand what the look was, he was usually good at reading him, maybe a few months of not being around him changed things. "I just... I just want things to be perfect for you."
"The world's not perfect Aziraphale."
"No, no I suppose not."
Crowley approached slowly. " But what I had..." He cusped Aziraphale's cheek. "Was pretty damn close."
"Had?"
The demon shrugged. "I learned not to get my hopes up."
"You're defeated already."
"I know what happened the last time... I won't be surprised if it happened together."
"Hm." Aziraphale hummed in understanding. He slowly leans forward and pressed his temple against the other. "What do I have to do to hear nightingales again?"
"Stay."
"Crowley-
"We can stop it, like we always have, together."
There was silence for a moment.
"And hell?"
"Can go fuck themselves, I don't care, they have a million of demons lined up to take my place."
"I hate this." Aziraphale sighed.
Crowley pulled away. "Oh...sorry I-
"No! No, not this, It's- i hate that you're doing this again, doing all the fighting, ready to drop everything for me."
"I'm not dropping anything... I really don't want to be in that slump. I miss your shop."
"You could have stayed you know?" The angel said with a watery smile.
"Nah, too much bad memories."
"You do know... The only way to erase bad memories is to replace them with good ones. May I?" Crowley spluttered, before nodding. Aziraphale gave him a smile and leaned in slowly, giving Crowley time to pull away. But he didn't, so their lips met. It was tentative, soft, gentle, a striking difference from the desperate, hard, and forceful kiss they first shared, but whatever the circumstances were, kissing Crowley was just the same everytime, perfect. They pulled away shortly after.
"Now look who's fighting."
"I'm quitting being an archangel."
"And dropping everything."
"I am not dropping anything, because you are quite literally everything." He took Crowley's hands.
"Sap."
Aziraphale chuckled. "I just... Can we take it slow?" The demon bit his lip, anxious for the answer.
"You've waited years my dear boy, it is my turn to wait for a hundred more." Aziraphale said. "But please don't let it be that long." The bookshop filled with laughter.
"So what's the plan with this second coming?"
"Can we talk about that later dear? I'm awfully hungry, heaven hasn't been allowing me to eat."
Crowley smiled, but in his head he was already planning to say some stuff to the angels, especially to the metatron, something very strongly worded. "Of course, what are you up for angel?"
"Crapes?"
"We can do that." They left the shop, when they got outside they met a grinning Muriel.
"Oh, hello Muriel." Aziraphale greeted.
"You two made up."
The two looked at each other
"I suppose we have."
"That's good, now mister Crowley can stop crying."
"Muriel-
Aziraphale turned to him quickly. "Oh Crowley dear... I'm -
"Angel, it's alright, all is well now, fixed, in tip top shape."
"Even I know you cannot erase sadness that easily, it leaves... Scars." Aziraphale sighed. "I'm sorry Crowley, I really am."
"Well you have forever to make it up to me."
"That I do...
"And eternity to do the dance."
"Absolutely not-
"Aziraphale..."
"Fine, everything ten years."
"Two."
"Eight."
"Five."
"... fine. But crepes first."
"We're going out for a bit Muriel."
"Okay mister Crowley, have fun." Muriel grinned and went inside the shop.
"Oh dear... I hope she didn't sell any of my books." Aziraphale said worriedly.
"She didn't, I threatened to discorporate her if she sells any."
Aziraphale gasped. "You did not!'
"I didn't, but I left her a little of this to do and not do."
Something bubbled inside Aziraphale, it was something akin to how he felt that day he was surrounded by the rubbles of that church. Crowley whistled and the Bentley came rolling in.
"Oh the Bentley! How I missed you!" Crowley smiled at the sight of the angel hugging the car, and throwing glares at people who looked at him funny. "One of these days I'll convince you to turn it yellow." Aziraphale said as he climbed the passenger seat."
"Never gonna happen angel."
"You may find I can be very... Tempting."
"Welcome to the dark side."
"I prefer to call it our side."
Crowley looked at him, and their eyes met. "Our side." The demon repeated, and drived off with a smile.
The shackles broke, and defences crumbled as they grasped each other's hands, and looked at each other as if they were the world, and for them, they kind of were each other's worlds.
Somewhere in Barkley square, a nightingale hatched and started to cry, soon it will grow and sing a song once more.