Chapter Text
Take a deep breath. Open your eyes. It's only your first day of being here, and the lights can be disorientating. It's like staring at a God in her eyes, begging her for salvation while going blind by her presence. Take comfort in the pain. Slowly open your eyes. Notice the ebb and flow of the blue around the bright heavenly whites that surround this subliminal space, those that could remind you of an ocean, a coral reef that is just a bit too far out of your reach to grab. Your oxygen tank will not let you dive that far. So you stay floating in the in-between with me. Now lose the fish, and lose the scuba metaphors, and rather imagine you have been shackled. Your arms and legs are bound to a single deadweight, something you cannot pull but can try to pull against. You trusted them to take the shackles off eventually, but they did not and instead, you tumbled overboard into the bright sea of holy light and particle clouds that only remind you of water so that you stay sane. You cannot go crazy yet. They need you here to regulate the power.
Well, they don't need you, they need me.
You are some strange particle who has approached me. I wonder who sent you my way? For me, in this black hole equivalent of a God's ancient punishment for those who stuck their nose too far into forbidden business, time may move differently. It has been weeks. However, the true Circadian Clock, the one gifted to me to always understand the time as accurately as it is back home, only says it has been one true day. The needle moves slow, like snails and injured prey, and yet I move even slower, caught in a beartrap I should have expected. Is it foolish for prey to trust the predator? I believed they had good intentions, even when the feeling was off. I could sense its want to pounce, to grab me in its talons, and fly away, but I still trusted it. I am naive, and a fool, but I do not regret being her friend.
I am also called Chèshk. You cannot tell me your name, particle cloud, but perhaps you can comprehend mine.
...you cannot see, can you? I am very foreign to your types of understanding, and although you have been moving and flowing as does the rest of these clouds, you only seem to digest words in a hungry manner, and not my looks. I fear what would happen if you would devour my looks, so perhaps I shall keep feeding you words.
It is... difficult to see. When I was tossed in here, apprehended by cold, non-negotiable hands that knew of the knowledge I held, I lost my grip on my glasses and therefore could not see. My hair is a bit more unkempt, as unfortunately this limbo I am stuck in does not provide the homemade hair products I typically use, but it is still short, side-swept, and blue. The shaved parts along my neck tickle nicely. The texture was always a comfort. My skin is red and built of chitin, though I suppose it is more pinkish-red than pure red. The sweater I wear is blue with black dots, some faded from the bleaching the light must be inflicting. I do have a jacket, too, that is cut just below my collarbone and still stretches enough to reach all four of my wrists on the sleeves. There are pockets along my arms as well. I cannot reach them. My limbs, by the wrist, and my ankles, near the digging claws I have instead of feet, hold me suspended in the air, captive to only the angry and jealous higher-ups and backstabbing traitors I may have mistaken for a friend before. My armored skirt, cobalt blue and black in its steel, still holds its toughness, thankfully. The pincers on the corners of my mouth twitch as I speak these words to you. I hope they feed you well.
I have not felt hungry. I have felt rather light, like a feather, an atomized particle being excited enough to constantly keep moving, but somehow still limited to a room of mirrors to keep bouncing off of. Is it odd to say I wish I felt hungry? My people need to eat. To harvest food. I have been stripped of my folk's wants and needs by being put here. I feel... like I should not reside from a Moon, that my personhood has been stripped from me. I feel less like my bug ancestors, who developed into me, and feel more... empty. I wish to hunger again. Like you, but for food instead of words. You glow a proud cyan color. Does this feed you, dear friend?
For if you feed on words, do I have stories to tell! I was a respected scientist, once in a while, a few weeks for us, two days for them, according to the clock. There was a lot of build-up before I was oh so suddenly grabbed by the talons of the bird, scooped up as if they had no other hope for the goal they wished to achieve. They shackled me and shoved me where they found suited me, amongst this God's haven, a safe place not made for the likes of me. I may be holding this place together, and if I am, I do not wish to test that theory by attempting to escape. The neon blue cuffs that hold my arms, two across my stomach, two in front of my face, and the others around my ankles, I never fancied myself a prisoner but I suppose even a good farmer can overwater his crops.
Was that what I did? Did I love too much, overwatering my cares and affections, to the point where I caused some astronomical abstract event? ...no, that doesn't make sense. And I'm a much better gardener than that. I think the only thing going for that metaphor is that the flowers I used to be in charge of watering are now dying of thirst and nobody has probably even cared to check up on them. My plants, for your craving, starving, needy nature for information, were and still are my friends. We watered each other, all helped each other grow. I fancied myself a white lily but to each their own. I could recall a simple story about them for now for you, how does that sound? Or maybe, I should just explain the world. In the beginning, there was nothing, I think that is a constant variable, but where we are overlooks the planet I know and love. The Moon I grew up on, the Moons my friends come from. Please, come a little closer. You glow with interest, and for that I'm glad! It has been a little bit since I've had a captive audience that wasn't the scientists I did my work with, and that's such an interesting thought... I ought to tell them how boring they are compared to a cosmic interdimensional being of dust such as you when I get back. If I get back.
In a large galaxy, one we both reside in now but are being prevented from viewing due to these blinding lights, censoring what we know of truth. is a large planet. Called Rendezvroria. That place is a social hotspot, known for its large theaters, stores, social hangout spots, and places to do hobbies or work. I always loved this little library not too far from my dormitory. They had so many books, a shocker, I know, but they date back farther than any other books I've seen. The folk that ran the place were sweet as sugar, too. Just imagine a high-class, fantastical library, with three floors and that fresh book smell and the quiet sounds of computers whirring and people murmuring and perhaps two kids from school giggling over something you don't know. ...sorry, off-topic. But yes, the planet holds most higher education, like colleges, as well. It's not too pleasant for living though, I fear. Tourist spots and all that. Me and my science group lived together in a dorm, just to keep everything cheap. It was nice. Had a good, home-like feel.
Around Rendezvroria are four Moons. Those places are where a majority of the population lives. They all have their specialties, people, and cultures. There are a lot of different methods of transportation to get around, we consider ourselves an... "advanced" society. It only takes maybe a half hour to get to the main planet using varying travel methods. Like the Night Freight Train, or just space shuttles. Hm, the Moons... Where do I even start?
I suppose the Moon I reside from! Hemiptera. The soil there is rich and great for vegetation, so we find ourselves the biggest exporter of crops and adjacent things to that. I always did fancy to stop by and drink a bit of coffee from a nice cafe near my home before a larger project. There's also big forests and flower fields, though they're on the other side of the Moon compared to where I grew up! Very beautiful nonetheless. My partner and I went to one of the large tulip fields for a photo shoot on our anniversary. That's the day she figured out she had a pollen allergy, hah! ...Also, The people there tend to present similarly to me, a way our history books in ancient times refer to creatures named "insectoids". I have antennae, pincers, and hard skin, just like those old depictions of my evolutionary ancestors. Crazy, isn't it?
Another one, the closest to Hemiptera travel-time-wise, is Anthrozoa. It's this wonderful Moon, covered in abstract, creatively constructed buildings of sea glass, blue bricks, and other delicate materials. The place always has this sort of... wet environment to it, seeing as the place is this large ball of water. There's a thin layer of crust covered by about a few inches of water where a lot of the mainland stores and places reside, but there are tubes that lead under the surface. It's completely water. All the folk there are descended from what was called "aquatic animals"! They breathe the water they live in and have all their buildings and houses floating around on the inside. There are walkways and swimming suits for people who breathe air to get around, all lit up with soft lighting and clear glass. It's a downright elevating experience, and trust me, I've seen. That place is where the most creative outlets are born, considering Anthrozoans have a very close tie with expressing themselves and their true spirits. They show it in artwork and other presentations, but most specifically their clothing. Clothing capital of all the Moons, and their biggest export!
The second closest to Hemiptera, on the east instead of the west this time, is Circadia. One of the busiest places when it comes to transporting people around since they value their time immensely. That Moon raises its culture up and around time, and the shifting from day to night, beliefs built like a strong castle that's held for thousands, millions, of years. The buildings there are made from a well-developed and constructed technology, one that causes the color scheme and resistance to sunbeams or moonbeams to switch once it's hit a certain time. It is a part of their culture to watch and perceive this change, as the time spent is an ethereal experience for them. I've been there quite a bit to visit my partner, Harlow, I'll tell you more about her later, but she runs the train systems there. It's one of the most relaxing things to experience, especially on the Night Freight Train, though I suppose if you're more of an early bird type, the Daytime Express is great for getting you all woken up in the morning. Oh, how could I forget! Circadia's biggest exports are these items called true Circadian Clocks. They adjust to the time on whatever Moon you choose, and will always tell time from that set point while telling the time of your location in the upper corner. That's what's kept me sane here. She bestowed me one of these for my birthday one year, and I've kept it close ever since.
It's been two weeks here, but only three days for them. How astounding is that fact? I find it horrifying, personally, but I suppose you must believe it is an interesting change in the metric of time. To each their own, cosmic cloud. Finally, completely across from Hemiptera is Porphyritic. I don't visit that place a lot, solely due to the extreme temperatures. It's like a consistent sauna to keep up with their crystal and rock productions in certain deposits. Though, I suppose I don't complain as much about the heat anymore now that I've seen the beautiful jewelry those conditions make. Nothing like what was made in the ancient days. Anyway, the people there value fighting strength over everything. People who are the strongest there lead the Moon on their council, The Black Belts. They're actually really kind, and they encourage learning martial arts at your own pace. I've been to a class or two, and it wasn't quite for me, but my friend loved it. He broke one of their punching bags, which is irrelevant, but funny. The buildings there are made pridefully with strong stone materials, which typically means their homes are made of beautiful marble. It's a beautiful sight, and if I had the right wits to live there, I would. Otherwise, I'd have to sell two arms and a leg to be able to afford to make my house out of that! Obviously, their biggest exports are their rocks, minerals, and gemstones, constructing the finest of buildings and crystals so that I have a perfect last-minute response of what to buy my friends if I forget their birthdays.
Kidding, kidding! ...kind of. Not important.
There it is. Just out in the distance, from outside this star, is a large planet revolved by four moons. That's where I grew up, and that's what I know. What else would you possibly want to hear? I can feel the cold breaths and wisps of air brushing against me as you glow curious colors. Did I say I would explain something..?
My friends! Oh, that's what I'm missing, how dare I. Thank you, weird little blue cosmic cloud floating around me and feeding off of every word. There were... four of them. Were, is the key word there. We were a big science group in college, and hung out all of the time, inside and outside of school. Harlow's the one I was talking about before, she's that operator of the train on Circadia. Intelligent as all hell when it comes to robotics and engineering, while also being so sweet and compassionate... And then there's Scampi, oh, such a fighting spirit on that one. Despite being from Anthrozoa, he chose to pursue the warrior lifestyle on the Porphyritic Moon instead. That's the type of dedication and devotion to a craft I've ever seen in someone. Reynard was always managing to get themself into odd predicaments, but I'd be wrong to say he wasn't the best team organizer we ever had. He color-coded the plans we had for experiments and work that day, and annotated every book he ever owned. It was just sort of their thing to do. And... Cozbi. She was hardworking and obviously always in pursuit of good things, but…
She was in over her head. What she did to me, to our group, I can't even begin to fathom how much I wish I could tell her how much it hurt us all. I have a feeling she already knows, though, and for that, I would spare her those sentences. That criticism. Cozbi was a smart kid. It was just always in pursuit of something a little higher than what it had, though.
That's why I'm here. I hope the reward it got was good enough.
...what's wrong? You've stopped glowing, and you're drifting further away. Have you gotten what you would have wanted from me? Will you return? I don't know how long this place may hold up with its instabilities, but please, do come back if you find yourself wanting more stories. I wonder where you are going. I wonder how long it will be until you return, glowing with your ethereal hunger for more words and stories and details. Please, although I am not aware of how stable you are as an observer, I have done enough research to know the collapsing infrastructure of all that surrounds us. Do not get caught up in the falling stars.
Take care. I'll see you soon.