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Suguru flops down in a chair in Shoko’s working space without so much as greeting her.
“Wow, you sure are in a mood,” she drawls out and raises an eyebrow at him, clearly expecting him to explain himself.
“Satoru’s out on a solo mission,” Suguru says in answer and he refuses to acknowledge the pit of dread in his stomach.
Solo missions are happening more and more for the both of them lately, after Satoru managed to kill Toji and Suguru can’t say that he likes it much.
In all honesty, it’s making him worry and with every new assignment that sends them to different parts of the town or the country, the dread continues to grow stronger.
“So? You’re not worried about him, are you?” Shoko asks and the thought is ridiculous enough to make him scoff.
They both know that Satoru is stronger than anyone, especially after he unleashed his full potential after Toji nearly killed him.
“I’m not,” Suguru sighs out and Shoko levels him with a look.
“Either you tell me right now what has you in this mood or you take your sorry ass out of here, because this is where I work, you know. I’m not here to pity your pathetic self.”
“Ouch,” Suguru whispers but he knows that she’s right. He came here for a reason, even if he doesn’t quite yet want to admit it to himself and moping silently to himself is certainly not it.
“I’m just—worried,” Suguru finally admits and to Shoko’s credit, she immediately knows that this is no longer about Satoru. At least, not only.
“About what?” she asks with more patience than he thought she could muster and Suguru closes his eyes as he pinches the bridge of his nose.
“That Satoru is going to forget all about me,” he quietly admits and the silence in the room is deafening.
“You might want to say that again, because that literally makes zero sense,” Shoko finally says and Suguru sighs again.
“It’s just—”
“You know that Gojo is obsessed with you, right?” Shoko interrupts him and Suguru presses his lips together.
He knows. And for now, it’s even true. But—
“For how long though?” he bitterly mutters and tips his head back when he can feel Shoko’s eyes burning into him. “One of these days the novelty of me is going to wear off and then what?”
“The novelty of you? Geto, you might as well speak in tongues, cause none of what you say makes a lick of sense,” Shoko tells him and Suguru wishes she would understand him like Satoru does, so he doesn’t have to explain every last one of his thoughts.
“Satoru likes me because I’m new, so to speak. He’s never met anyone who could keep up with him, however briefly. And with how he was brought up he’s also never met anyone who didn’t cower in front of him, so of course he’d take a liking to me,” he says, his voice barely audible in the otherwise quiet room. “But he’s pulling so far ahead of me and one day he’s going to realise that I’m just like everyone else. And then what? He’s going to lose his interest in me and these solo missions are only speeding that process along.”
Something hits him square in the forehead.
“Ouch, Shoko, what?” he gets out, rubbing the stinging spot and glaring at the pen she threw at him.
“I hate to say this but you’re almost smarter when you’re goofing off with Gojo. What the hell are you even talking about? That guy adores you. He’s so head over heels in love with you that none of your words make a lick of sense!”
“But for how long?” Suguru whispers out, because he’s so scared that it’ll happen sooner rather than later.
One of these days Satoru will wake up and realise that Suguru is a nobody, that he’s like everyone else, and then he’ll turn away from him. For now, Suguru might have his love, but he doubts it’s going to be true for much longer.
“You do know that the guy quite literally has your wedding planned out, right?” Shoko wants to know and now that makes Suguru’s head snap up in surprise.
“What?” he breathes out and Shoko rolls her eyes at him.
“Remember that very first mission you were sent on?” she asks as if Suguru could ever forget any mission he was sent on together with Satoru.
“Of course I do.”
It was a relatively low-level curse, just something to test them and their teamwork barely two days after introducing them to each other and at that point Suguru had thought it went quite horribly. They had clashed more with each other than the curse, yelling insults across the field instead of fighting but of course in the end it had all worked out, just like it always does with them.
“After that mission he barged right in here and said ‘Shoko, I’m going to marry that guy’. It was the first full sentence he ever said to me that wasn’t dripping with condescension.”
“He was just joking,” Suguru whispers and this time when Shoko throws something at him he dodges it easily.
“Like hell he was. He hasn’t stopped talking about it since. If you think that guy is going to let you go, ever, then you’re thoroughly mistaken. I don’t think even death could make him part from you so I really don’t know what you’re on about when you say you’re losing your shine. To him, you’re not a goddamn toy he’s going to get bored of.”
It’s nice to hear, Suguru has to admit that but he can’t quite believe it.
“Are you sure?” He hates that his voice is shaking the tiniest bit, but the thought that one day Satoru could wake up and realise that he played with Suguru as much as he could, that Suguru is old news now has been eating away at him for a while now.
“Do I look like Gojo to you?” Shoko demands to know and Suguru frowns.
“Huh?”
“You really should talk about this with him, you know,” Shoko gives back and Suguru hates that she’s right but it’s not as if it’s that easy.
“So he can tell me that we’re not going to last sooner?” Suguru scoffs out and has to dive out of his seat when a whole tray of medical equipment comes flying his way.
“So he can put that stupid, overthinking brain of yours to rest and maybe propose in the same breath. Geto, seriously. Does he really strike you as the kind of person who’s just going to discard those he cares about?”
Suguru opens his mouth to answer with a resounding yes, but he knows that it’s unfair. Satoru might have child-like excitement for the most random things—sweets especially—but if he cares for someone he’s ride or die for them, no matter what. He might try to pretend that he isn’t, might joke and wave it off, but in the end he’d kill for all of them.
And that holds especially true for Suguru.
“No,” Suguru admits and Shoko nods.
“Exactly. And since my words can only hold so much weight in a relationship I’m not even involved in, maybe go talk to him now.”
“Ah, but Shoko, you’re our honorary third, don’t you know that?” Suguru jokes and Shoko makes an exaggerated retching sound.
“Gross. I want nothing to do with either of you,” she immediately replies and shoos him out of her space. “Now get lost, I’m sick and tired of your face.”
“You love my face, or otherwise you would have kicked me out the second I stepped foot into this room,” Suguru confidently says and knows he’s right when Shoko only rolls her eyes and turns her back on him.
“If you breathe a word of this to Gojo, I’ll dismember you. See how long it’ll take him to piece you back together,” she threatens and Suguru knows better than to test her patience past a certain limit.
“Alright, alright,” he easily says. “Thanks, Shoko.”
“Whatever,” she grumbles but waves at him over her shoulder so he knows she’s not really mad.
But now that he’s done here, that only leaves him with one thing to do: waiting for Satoru to come back, so he can talk to him.
~*~*~
It doesn’t take Satoru long at all to wrap up his mission—barely two hours—but it feels like an eternity to Suguru. It’s certainly long enough for him to change his mind several times and when Satoru finally bursts into his room, a happy smile on his face, Suguru still doesn’t know what he’s going to do now.
“Suguru!” Satoru cries out, and almost flies across the room to crash into Suguru. “I have missed you,” he says, just like he always does when a solo mission forces them apart and without a conscious thought, Suguru speaks.
“Are you going to get tired of me?” his mouth blurts out and Suguru wonders if there’s a curse in his arsenal that could swallow him whole, just to escape those wide, confused eyes that are now trained on him.
“What the hell are you talking about?” Satoru demands to know, pulling far enough away to better glare at Suguru and then he reaches out to take his temperature. “Are you sick? Did you hit your head? What’s going on?”
“Shoko said you have our wedding planned out?” Suguru blurts out next and that’s not much better.
Satoru narrows his eyes at him.
“I don’t see how one relates to the other, and don’t think I forgot your previous question, but yes, I have,” he easily admits and takes the opportunity to topple Suguru over on the bed so he can better snuggle up to his side. “It’s going to be a fall wedding.”
“Why? You love spring. If anything it should be when the cherry blossoms bloom.”
“Too hard to plan for and besides. You love autumn. So it’s going to happen then.”
Satoru has his head pillowed on Suguru’s chest and almost on autopilot Suguru’s hand moves to scratch at his scalp, even as his chest feels close to bursting.
“Is there no doubt in your mind that we’re going to marry?” he asks after a short moment and Satoru makes a happy noise in the back of his throat.
“None.”
“How can you be so sure?” Suguru whispers out and now this prompts Satoru to turn his head so he can look at Suguru again.
“Easy. Because I love you.”
It’s not the first time Satoru has said it but it still takes Suguru’s breath away.
“Is it really that easy?” he mutters and Satoru frowns at him.
“Suguru, what’s going on?” he wants to know and rearranges himself so he’s laying on top of Suguru, his pointy chin almost painfully digging into his sternum.
Still, Suguru doesn’t push him off, too caught up in that gaze on him.
“I’ve just been thinking,” Suguru admits and Satoru gives him a cheeky smile.
“Always dangerous. You’re prone to too many thoughts.”
“Have to make up for the lack of thoughts in you,” Suguru immediately gives back, falling back into the banter as easy as breathing and some of the tension leaks out of him.
When Satoru’s eyes sparkle, Suguru knows that this was his intention all along.
“And now tell me what’s going to make you wrinkle before your time,” Satoru says and Suguru sighs.
“I’m wondering if you’re going to lose interest in me, one of these days. I’m a novelty for you, don’t think I forgot you said that, and I’m like a shiny new toy, but eventually you’ll get bored by me.”
Satoru blinks at him. And then he blinks some more.
“Say what now?” he eventually manages and Suguru bites at his lower lip.
“Satoru—”
“You think I see you as some kind of—what? Toy? Some new distraction, something to have fun with until you break?”
It’s basically just what Suguru said moments before and still his heart squeezes painfully in his chest when he hears Satoru talk like that.
“Yeah,” he admits, his voice just a whisper of a sound and Satoru’s eyes blaze in anger.
“You’re a goddamn fucking idiot,” he hisses out, digging his chin even more painfully into Suguru’s chest.
“Ouch, Satoru, stop that!”
“It’s what you deserve! I cannot believe you just said that!”
“Well, is it true?” Suguru demands to know and Satoru’s cursed energy flares as if he’s about to hollow purple Suguru into next life.
“It’s fucking not, and you know it!” he yells out and Suguru’s ears ring. “It’s not like that at all, why would you even say that?”
“I just—I don’t know,” Suguru admits, because he lacks the words to explain what’s going on in his head. “Why do you love me?”
“Because you’re you,” Satoru immediately says and that clears up exactly nothing. “How do I even explain this?” Satoru mutters before Suguru can say anything else. “It’s like—you don’t ask someone why they breathe air, right? It’s just what you do, because you need it to survive and it’s an instinct and there’s nothing in this world that could substitute that and you’re also never going to grow bored of it, or stop doing it because that would mean death. It’s the same with you.”
“The same with me?”
“Loving you is just what I do. There’s no reason for it, at least not just one. I just do. The moment I saw you I knew and then after that first mission I definitely knew. And it’s not just because you’re strong, or because you don’t take my shit, or you’re nice to me without the sickening sucking up my clan used to do, or because you’re hot as hell. It’s all of that together and then some,” Satoru tries to explain and in all honesty, it makes Suguru’s head spin.
“You’re worried that you can’t keep up, right, you said that last week, but Suguru. It’s not just your strength, it’s all of it, together. It’s all of you. And even if you weren’t as strong as me, you’d still be one of the strongest out there, so why would that even matter?”
It’s Suguru’s time to blink at Satoru now because how can he so easily cut through all of Suguru’s thoughts and hone in on the one thing that bugs Suguru to no end?
“A fall wedding, huh?” he says, because acknowledging everything else Satoru just said feels like too much at the moment and this, at least, makes Satoru smile again.
“A fall wedding,” he nods and then his face softens as he reaches out to cup Suguru’s face in his hand. “No more stupid thoughts, okay? I love you. I love you. And nothing is going to change that.”
“You know, if you could channel this eloquence for your essays, Yaga would yell less at you,” Suguru chokes out, desperate to lighten the mood because he feels as if he’s going to burst into tears any moment now.
“Yeah, well, I don’t love Yaga, so he can suck it up,” Satoru carelessly gives back and Suguru chuckles, his eyes still suspiciously wet. “Okay now?” Satoru then asks him and Suguru nods.
“Okay now,” he agrees because he is. “I love you, too, you know,” he adds, because somehow it feels as if he doesn’t say it enough but Satoru only gives him his brightest grin.
“I know. I definitely know. It’s in everything you do,” he says as if he never doubted that for even a single moment and now Suguru almost feels bad for doubting Satoru.
“It is,” he still agrees, because some days it feels as if he’s made out of love for Satoru, as if that’s his sole purpose for being and now he finally understands what Satoru was trying to say.
It’s the same for him.
“I’m sorry I’m being stupid,” Suguru whispers out, turning his head so he can press a kiss to Satoru’s palm.
“Apology accepted,” Satoru easily says, smirking at Suguru. “But if you doubt me or my love for you again, I’m going to be upset, just so you know.”
“It won’t happen again,” Suguru promises, because how can it, now that he finally understands? “I promise.”
“Good, good,” Satoru says and finally takes his chin out of Suguru’s chest, turning his head and rubbing his cheek against Suguru’s pec as if he’s a cat. “Now, can you please welcome me back home? I did just come back from a gruelling mission after all.”
A mission that took him less than three hours to clear but Suguru smiles indulgently at him anyway.
“Welcome home, Satoru. You did well,” he says, just like he always does when Satoru comes home and Suguru isn’t being too busy being stupid and Satoru makes a sound that could almost be classified as a purr.
“Mh, better,” he decides and presses a kiss to Suguru’s chest. “Love you.”
“Love you, too,” Suguru replies and he knows, deep down to his bones, that it’s true.
And that this is never going to change.