Chapter Text
The air still felt slightly heavy whenever her name was brought up. Louis would flinch at it, feeling a louder thump of his heart against his ribs. It didn't hurt as much as it had the five months before, but it was all too much for him.
His relationship with Eleanor came to an end after 2 years of ups and downs when the girl said she was 'fed up' with all the rumours going around about him and Harry, his bandmate. Louis had tried to calm her down, thinking she was only on a bad day and that this would be one of their 'normal' fights.
But it wasn't.
The beautiful brunette had started crying and said it was over. Said she was done. She couldn't make it anymore, as she felt that Louis was, indeed, closer to his friend than her.
She was sweet enough to tell Louis that she loved every minute spent with him, and she would never make him choose between his friends and her, but she also added that she knew the truth. He just had to figure it out yet, even though it was pretty obvious to everyone else.
Then, Eleanor left the room and, consequently, Louis's life.
Five months later, here Louis was, feeling slightly better, but still with a broken heart. His hair was slightly greasy and his clothes were the same he had chosen two days ago.
He looked through the many channels on the TV, not finding anything interesting.
Louis thought. He thought long and hard. About him and Eleanor. About their relationship. About it's ending. About this 'truth' Eleanor had mentioned. About her insecurities due to his and Harry's close friendship. And, eventually, about him and Harry.
Was his ex-girlfriend referring to them when she said she knew that he still had to organise his thought and find out who he was?
In all honesty, Louis was devastated. He didn't know what to do, or even think anymore! There was Eleanor and everything they had been through. And he was so hurt about it all that he was almost 100% sure he was still in love with her.
But then... Harry.
No! Never! Harry was his best friend, for crying out loud! And he was a guy! Like Louis! He had wiped his tears when Louis came home with a broken heart!
This whole 'Larry' bullshit had to end! He was so tired that it almost made him hate Harry! And that was saying a lot!
As the thought flooded the blue eyed boy's mind, he felt his anger pumping through his veins, his fists clenching on his leg and the TV remote.
It was all his own fault for being so touchy with Harry! He wasn't gay, for God's sake! Hell no!
He didn't have anything against gays or whatever, but him?! No! He couldn't! He wasn't! He loved Eleanor!
Infuriated by all the things flying around his head, Louis stood up and went to his room, where he took a small box out from under his bed, peeking inside of it.
The tears started running down his cheeks involuntarily as he was faced with pictures of him and the curly, green eyed boy that had made him smile since the day they met in the bathrooms of the singing competition.
Louis fiercely wiped them away and sniffled. He threw the small pictures out of the box and ran to his desk, picking a scissor up and going back to the bed.
And the truth, at that moment, was one: he wasn't thinking. He wasn't controlling himself when he did it.
He quickly cut them all into tiny shreds, just like he felt his heart. He cried loudly, reducing the beautiful memories into little nothings.
"L-Lou?", a weak voice cut his movements.
Louis's head snapped up and he gasped, feeling the scissor slipping out of his fingers. "H-Harry...", he sobbed out, trying to hold in his tears.
Even though Louis's vision was blurry and his eyes stung from crying so hard, he could perfectly make out Harry's outlines as he raised a hand to his mouth.
And then he heard him. His broken voice reaching Louis's heart like a thousand knifes.
"What did you do, Lou?", his voice strained at the end, the lump evidently growing in his throat.
Louis shook his head and stood up, the anger at himself providing him enough adrenaline to the point he wasn't filtering what he said anymore. "Shut up! You don't know what I feel!", he yelled, clenching his fists by his sides.
Harry was too shocked to talk for the next ten minutes, just letting Louis babble on about what a miserable life he had, how shitty he felt after his harsh breakup with Miss Perfection (Harry did /not/ hate Eleanor, at all! She was a very nice girl. It was just Louis. It was always Louis...).
But one statement slipped out of Louis's lips that made Harry let his tears finally fall.
"You know nothing, Styles! I had the perfect girlfriend but because of you being so fucking touchy she broke up with me! And now I have nothing, get it?! Nothing!", he shouted, feeling his vocal chords failing. "I feel like shit and--"
"Well, now you know how I felt when you two started dating!", Harry interrupted him with a shout, louder than any of Louis's.
The boy's blue eyes widened at Harry's harsh tone and statement. He stepped back, afraid that Harry was actually losing control on himself.
"How do you think I feel, Louis?! I've always been here! Always for you! Do you even imagine how many times I neglected myself just to help /you/? And you know why?", he paused to take a deep breath. "Because I fucking love you, Louis Tomlinson!", he broke into tears, bitting his bottom lip every time a louder sob threatened to escape his throat. "I love you so much it hurts! It hurts because I know you don't love me and--", he cut himself off to cry harder.
"Harry, I--"
"Shut up, Tomlinson! Just shut up! Shut up!", Harry yelled furiously. He stared into Louis's soul with his deep green eyes (almost black now). He silently looked over the shorter boy's shoulder and walked over to the bed.
Louis turned around and watched his every move carefully.
Harry sniffled, picking up the larger pieces there were left from the pictures they had collected along the years. He closed his hand around one of them. It was a piece of a picture where their hands were intertwined.
The curly boy inhaled deeply and looked up at Louis. "I don't know if you think this is wrong - y'know, being gay or bi or whatever - but I don't really care right now... You're just lucky I love you too much to even hate you at this point.", he said while he stood up and walked closer to Louis, stopping right in front of him. "But believe me when I say there's nothing I want more right now than to hate you, Louis.", he coldly said while he walked past the boy.
The older boy stood there, shaking uncontrollably, heartbroken. And he knew now. It wasn't because of Eleanor.
It was Harry.
Louis fell to his knees and cried in his hands.
"I love you Harry...", he whispered to himself, knowing he was alone in the house again after hearing the front door slam shut.