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Edwin emerged from the mirror in the office, groaning heavily. His eyes had become shadowed and dark, and he slunk to the couch against the left wall, falling heavily into it.
The case he and Charles had just successfully closed had pushed him and his companion to the very end of their mental and spectoral limits. Never mind the fact that it involved mistreated children, something that Edwin knew was a sore spot for Charles, but it also involved having to exorcise an angry spirit from a haunted doll.
Despite the fact that the Dead Boy Detectives were now back in London, their home turf, surrounded by more friends and allies than they had ever had before, overall things for the two ghost boys were…not so good.
Crystal was away from the office more days than not, trying to reconnect with her parents. Jenny tried her best to avoid interacting with anything supernatural in an attempt to maintain a shred of sanity. The night nurse was…nice. But also a terrible nag. This left the boys mostly alone together, which wasn’t a problem in and of itself. After all, they had been solving ghostly crimes mostly by themselves for 30 odd years.
The problem stemmed from the fact that Edwin had confessed his feelings for Charles the day they escaped hell together. And now, Edwin had no idea how he was supposed to act around his companion. He second guessed every move he made, worrying that he was being too obvious or too forward. He knew that Charles was still figuring his feelings out, and wanted to give him plenty of space, but he suspected that Charles didn’t know how to act around Edwin, either.
And to top it all off, their arrival back in London after a few weeks in Port Townsend brought with it an influx of needy ghosts with pressing cases, giving them no time to talk. This latest escapade was only the tip of the iceberg.
Edwin watched lazily as Charles emerged from the mirror just behind him, and followed him in a similarly drained manner, to the couch. Edwin shuffled himself over so Charles could slump down next to him, and together the boys sighed.
“That was shit.” Charles grumbled, his voice lacking the usual hint of sunshine that Edwin had unconsciously come to rely on.
“Indeed.” he replied. He glanced briefly to the side, spying his partner out of the corner of his eye. Charles’ eyes were just as shadowed and baggy as Edwin’s own, maybe even more so. Edwin contemplated slipping his hand into Charles’ to offer some comfort. But images of his experiences in Hell attacked Edwin’s own mind. Flashes of the doll-spider monster mingled with images of the haunted doll they had vanquished. It was all he could do to keep himself from slipping into a panic. And besides, it might come off as pushy, which was the last thing Edwin wanted to be at a time like this.
The taller boy scrunched his eyes shut, trying to banish the discourse from his mind. Charles turned to him, looking concerned. Almost as if he could hear what Edwin was thinking, he moved his hand to sit gently atop Edwin’s as it rested in a fist on the couch. Edwin’s eyes shot open to catch Charles’ smiling gaze, and the exhausted ghost immediately relaxed. Even though neither of them could physically feel their hands touching, it released a warmth in their spirits that was comforting at the very least.
“You alright, mate?” Charles asked.
“Perfectly splendid.” Edwin replied, only half sarcastically.
Charles squeezed his hand reassuringly, and Edwin sighed, letting his head fall back against the backrest.
“I’ve got something that might cheer us up a tad.” Charles’ smile was infectious. Edwin grinned at him through his eyelashes, not quite willing to move yet.
“What is it this time?” Edwin asked. Charles rose from the couch to crouch beside his bag of tricks that he had discarded on the floor. He rummaged in it for a short moment, before producing a large glass jar filled with what looked like tiny golden-yellow cotton balls.
“Check it out.” Charles held up the jar so Edwin could read the label. The taller ghost reluctantly pulled himself forward to squint at the faded lettering.
“Marinder Pollen?” Edwin read.
“Marinder. Like Marigold and Lavender, get it? I got it from Tragic Mick, before we left Port Townsend. He said it's pollen from a rare flower that only blooms in areas of great spiritual activity.” Charles explained.
“Normally I wouldn’t believe such a flower exists. But if Tragic Mick sold you this, I have no choice but to believe you.” Edwin said, eyebrows raised.
“Actually, he gave it to me for free.” Charles began unscrewing the metal lid “He said it would help us feel better.”
“Well, that’s very kind of him.” Edwin scoffed. “But a little bit of pollen won’t help me feel better after that absolute ordeal of a case. That was almost as traumatising as the Devlin Murders.”
“No, you don’t understand.” Charles explained. “I mean, this stuff makes ghosts feel things better. As in, it can give us our sense of touch back, like we had when we were still alive.”
Edwin scoffed. “Now I know there’s no way that can be true.” After a short pause, Edwin second guessed himself. “Is there?”
“Only one way to find out.” Without wasting another moment, Charles reached a few fingers into the jar. The fluffy, sticky pollen inside stuck to his fingertips like glue. When he removed his hand, it was covered in tiny flounces of golden yellow. Charles met eyes with Edwin for only a fraction of a second, before he rubbed his fingers together. Then he used his other hand to rub his palms together, coating his hands in a dusting of pollen.
“What does it feel like?” Edwin had to know.
“Nothing.” Charles said, disappointed. “Just like usua-”
The younger boy was cut off when a bright golden glow suddenly erupted from his palms, drowning the office in light. But just as quickly as the light appeared, it faded. The two boys stared at each other, aghast. After a moment, Charles began to tentatively brush his fingertips over the opposite palm, to see if his touch had returned. He gasped.
“W-What?” Edwin demanded. "Does it hurt?"
“I-...I can feel it!” Charles exclaimed.
“Impossible.” Edwin replied.
Charles touched his face, eyes wide. His fingers felt warm. His face felt warm. He could feel his fingertips pressing into his skin for the first time in 30 years. He ran a hand through his hair, pinched his earlobes, brushed his eyelashes. He let out an amazed laugh. “This feels amazing! It’s just like how I remember! Edwin you have to try this.”
Edwin, still shocked, didn’t move. Charles dipped a hand into the jar of pollen and once again coated his palm in the substance. Then, he held his hand up, palm out, to Edwin. The taller boy finally snapped into the present and lifted himself off the couch, joining Charles as he knelt on the floor. He slowly raised his hand to meet Charles’, who was grinning like an excited child. After only a moment’s hesitation, Edwin pressed his hand into Charles’. The area of contact between their palms glowed gold, and Edwin’s skin seemed to burst to life. He felt Charles’ warm hand against his own, for the first time.
“Oh my goodness.” Edwin gasped.
“I know, right?”
“I can feel your hand. I can actually feel you touching me.”
Charles couldn’t stop laughing. He laced his fingers into Edwin’s, squeezing. “It’s so warm, aye?”
Edwin lifted his other hand, and Charles followed. It glowed when they touched as before. And as before, their senses burned to life like they were living, breathing boys.
They caught each other’s gaze, the golden glow from the magic pollen sending flecks of light dancing across their eyes. They grinned wide at each other, and they both knew they had to make the most of this.
Before either of the two boys knew it, they had dusted themselves all over with golden pollen and run out into the streets of London, screaming and laughing together like they had never done before. They ran their hands over the rough, rocky bricks of the old buildings. They dipped their bare feet into the cold river waters. Charles ripped off his jacket to feel the chilly breeze brush his skin. Edwin rigorously swished his arms through hedges and bushes.
“Hey, Edwin! Check this out!” Charles ran to the roadside as a large bus approached, about to zoom past. As it did, it's wheels hit a deep puddle in the gutter, spraying it out and showering Charles with water. The now drenched boy laughed maniacally at the feeling of the water chilling his skin.
Edwin gasped. “Oh, disgusting! What the devil are you doing?!”
“This is fucking incredible.” Charles hummed, jumping around, unable to remain still. He grabbed hold of a metal lamp post and twirled around it gleefully. “How have we never heard of this stuff before?”
“I think I have read about it, to be honest. I just didn’t believe it.” Edwin admitted, giving Charles a wide berth to avoid getting splashed with dirty London gutter water.
“But, yes. It is amazing to be able to touch things again.” Edwin chuckled to himself. “I never thought I’d say that.”
“Oh, perfect timing!” Charles suddenly ran out onto a road, staring up at the sky. “This will wash me off.”
Edwin noticed raindrops beginning to sprinkle onto his face and hair. He instinctively pulled his jacket collar up over his head to protect himself from the rain, but then he saw Charles, completely care-free, his arms out wide, welcoming the raindrops as they fell onto his body. Edwin realized, he was having an incredibly fun night with his best friend and first love. They were together, and no one, not hell or high heaven, not the Lost and Found Department, not even Death herself, had managed to separate them. That knowledge alone was enough to make him want to dance in the rain beside his beloved partner. So, he discarded his jacket, and ran out onto the wet pavement with Charles, welcoming the rain.
It quickly changed from light shower to heavy downpour, but this didn't deter the teen boys as they acted out. No one could see or hear them, but this only made them more keen to cut loose.
The drops on Edwin’s face were like tiny bullets of freezing ice hitting his skin, but he loved it. Every single drop lifted him further and further into a state of true bliss, washing away the stresses and trauma they had been subjected to of late. The boys danced and laughed together on the dark London streets, screaming into the night air, daring the sky to rain on them more. The light from the streetlamps reflected off the droplets in the air, the wet ground, their skin, coating their whole perfect world in a golden blaze. Soon their clothes were soaked through, and they were drenched to the bone.
The whooping ceased, and Edwin glanced down from the dark sky and saw Charles’ head rolled back on his shoulders, eyes closed and peaceful as he let the rain hit his face and run down his neck. His chest rose and fell as he panted in the effort of jumping around. He was beautiful.
Suddenly Edwin noticed a tiny trail of golden pollen washing down Charles' jaw. Without thinking, he grabbed his friend's wrist and dragged him under a nearby awning, pulling him close, out of the rain.
“Woah, what's up?” Charles asked, still grinning.
“No, it's nothing. I just didn’t want the pollen to wash away. We’re having so much fun.” Edwin chuckled.
That was when he noticed just how close they were. The entire right side of his body suddenly glowed a magical gold as the pollen activated in the contact. The heat that rose from Charles' body seemed like enough to turn the water they were drenched with to steam. Edwin felt his cheeks grow hot.
Charles stared up at him. His hair was sticking to his forehead. Edwin absentmindedly reached out and touched the mop of wet hair on Charles’ head, feeling it leave trails of water over his fingers. Charles grabbed his wrist, guiding his hand down from his forehead to his cheek, pressing his face into Edwin’s palm.
“Warm.” Charles hummed, smirking. “See? No harm done. We can still feel each other. Looks like water doesn't affect the pollen.”
Edwin grinned back, his heart beginning to race. He wanted to feel more. As much as he was feeling in that moment, and it was quite overwhelming, he found himself wanting more, as if he knew it couldn’t last. As if he was trying to squeeze a thousand lifetime’s worth of touch into one magical night. He wanted to burn the memory of this feeling into his mind where he could keep hold of it forever, where it would never fade away.
This might be his one and only chance.
At some stage, the boys had gotten closer. Now Edwin could feel Charles’ breath brushing against his cheeks. He let his fingers slip down from Charles’ cheek to his collarbone. He took his partner’s signature gold chain between his fingers, feeling the link clink together. He slipped under Charles’ collar, feeling the hard bumps of his shoulder blades.
Then Edwin stifled a gasp as Charles in turn, put his hands flat against the taller boy’s chest. They slid upwards, going over his shoulders, straightening his bowtie, fixing his collar. Then they continued up, to his neck, his jaw, and finally to lace into the hair at the back of Edwin’s head.
Edwin shivered. Never in his life had he known this feeling, even when he was alive. He’d never felt this need. How to proceed? Did Charles even want to proceed? Or was this opportunistic? The effects of the pollen could wear out at any moment. Before they knew it, their sense of touch may dull once more, leaving them with a hunger they would be unable to satiate. Were they just doing this because they could?
“Edwin.” Charles almost whispered. “You good?”
Edwin blinked as if he’d been slapped. “Oh, yes…Um, actually, no.” Edwin stumbled over his words, unsure how to proceed.
Charles let his hand rest draped over Edwin’s shoulders, patiently allowing his friend to finish.
“Are you… are we…?” Edwin paused, then swallowed, and steeled himself. “I would very much like to kiss you.”
Charles looked dazed for a moment, blinking away the droplets in his eyelashes, as if he were warring with himself internally. A tiny part of Edwin panicked, wondering if he had just ruined everything.
“We don’t have to.” He corrected, hastily. “I just…was wondering what it felt like. I never kissed anyone when I was alive.”
Almost as if it would help him decide, Charles brushed a finger over Edwin’s slightly parted lips, making a shiver run up the older boy’s spine.
“Sod it.” He said.
Charles grabbed Edwin’s collar and pushed him flush against the wall behind him. Edwin gasped, then swallowed hard at the sight of Charles’ arms either side of his head, caging him in. Only when they were so close that their breaths were indistinguishable did Charles finally speak.
“You ready?” He whispered.
“Um. Yes.”
He finally closed the gap between them and kissed Edwin hard. Edwin let out a tiny sound. Charles felt it vibrate through his jaw, and something exploded within him. He breathed in, leaning in further, causing Edwin to squeak again. He wanted more. He placed a firm hand at the back of Edwin’s head and the other on his hip. Edwin could only grasp at the fabric of Charles’ shirt, holding on till his knuckles turned white. He felt his face burning, his eyes watering, his knees buckling. With every movement Charles made, he felt like he was melting into the bricks behind him. All of it put together felt like his world was spinning, crumbling, then rebuilding all at once.
Charles forced Edwin’s mouth open and wasted no time in inserting his tongue. Edwin continued to make small, embarrassing sounds, only serving to encourage Charles to kiss him harder. Eventually the younger boy finally broke the kiss and Edwin sighed, catching his partner’s gaze.
“So, this is how it feels.” He observed, all breathy and dreamy. “I never knew it would be so…nice.”
“Can I try something else?” Charles asked, a little panty.
“What?” Edwin asked, only very slightly worried.
But he had no time to deliberate, as Charles leaned in once more, this time catching the soft skin of Edwin’s neck between his teeth.
Edwin gasped. “Oh. Oh my.”
All he could see was Charles’ dark hair as his head bobbed, biting at Edwin’s neck like he was ravenous. He began to feel a heat rising in the pit of his stomach that was terrifying and yet thrilling all at the same time. The way that Charles seemed to lose himself over him made Edwin want to faint. He couldn’t believe he had never tried this when he was alive.
After no time at all they were a mess of hands, breaths and moans. Charles’ hands had at some point settled on Edwin’s hips, where he squeezed intermittently, making Edwin’s knees buckle. Edwin grasped at clumps of fabric from the back of Charles’ shirt, as the desperate teen moved from Edwin’s neck to his jaw, and then his ears.
Suddenly, Charles slipped his knee in between Edwin’s thighs and pressed forward, causing a jolt of pleasure to run through the inexperienced ghost’s entire body.
“Charles.” Edwin gasped between kisses.
“Mmm…Yeah?” Charles replied as he took Edwin’s earlobe between his lips.
“Let's find a mirror.”
“You ok?” Charles paused, glancing at Edwin’s face.
“Oh, yeah. Yes.” Edwin was almost panting. “I’m just…not sure how long I can remain standing."
Charles let out a deep laugh that made Edwin want to bury himself in Charles’ body.
“You are so cute.” Charles smirked. Edwin blushed. “At least tell me if you liked it.”
“I-...Yes! I loved it.” Edwin blurted out.
Charles grinned at him cockily.
“I mean…as far as my experience goes, it was the best kiss I’ve ever had.” Edwin added, sassily.
“Alright, we get it, you’re new to this.” Charles laughed. “Well, at least I thought it was brills.”
They found a nearby puddle of water that reflected the world above. The raindrops created a beautiful pattern that danced over its surface, like the way the boys had danced on the streets together. They stepped up, ready to plunge into it together to travel back to the office.
“I, um…” Edwin said before they could jump, looking down into the tiny pool of water. “I just wanted to say that, I love you Charles. And no matter what happens tonight, I won’t hold it against you.”
“What do you mean, ‘hold it against me’?” Charles replied, cocking his head to one side.
“I-I just…” Edwin stuttered. “I just mean…I accept that you’re still…unsure about your feelings towards me. So, if you would prefer, we can call tonight's events simply…making use of the pollen’s effects, I suppose. No need to…label it. As they say.”
Edwin was expecting Charles to laugh at him again. After all, he was just being silly. Silly, cute, inexperienced Edwin, a complete novice to the world of intimate relationships. Everything he said probably sounded stupid. However, this time Charles didn’t laugh, or scoff. In fact, he looked concerned. He stepped forward, and took Edwin’s hand gently in his.
“Edwin.” He said calmly. “Do you honestly think, after what we just did, that I’m still not sure how I feel about you?”
“I-...” Edwin stammered.
Before he could say anything else, Charles placed a tender kiss on Edwin’s lips, and the taller boy closed his eyes, savouring every last microsecond of it.
“I love you, Edwin. Like, for real.” Charles confessed.
“You…you do? Like, as more than a friend?” Edwin was struggling to stop himself from grinning like an idiot.
“Yes. As in, I’m in love with you. So anything that happens tonight…” Charles briefly glanced at the ground with a mischievous grin, before catching Edwin’s gaze once more. “...is happening between two ghost boyfriends in love. Got it?”
Edwin squeezed Charles’ hand, grinning from ear to ear, and nodded.
Finally they took the plunge together, diving into the reflective surface of the puddle, emerging from the mirror in the office and immediately falling to the floor in a tangle of limbs.
“So this is what this carpet feels like.” Charles wondered aloud, running the backs of his hands over it as he lay on his back. Edwin moved to untangle himself from his friend.
“And now it's soaked with dirty rainwater.” Edwin complained.
He got up onto his knees and tried to stand, but Charles wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him back down.
“Wha-...Charles! Are we doing…’it’...here?” Edwin whispered urgently, straddling Charles’ body involuntarily.
“Yeah. What's the problem?” Charles said from under Edwin, his arms still hanging lazily over his partner’s shoulders.
“What if someone comes in?!”
“We’ll just phase through the floor.”
“I-I don’t even know how to-...!”
“I’ll walk you through it.”
There was a short pause, Edwin stared gobsmacked at the smirking boy beneath him, his dark eyes hungry with desire, and sighed.
“Very well then. Walk me through it.”
An hour or so later, Edwin's head rested comfortably atop Charles’ bare chest, listening to his still pounding heart. His mind, now completely blank, warm like his body in the afterglow, and so saturated with content, could process nothing but the feeling of that heartbeat thumping against his ear, and the rise and fall of Charles' chest as he panted.
“Holy shit.” Charles hummed. “I’ve never done it like that before.”
“How is it usually done?” Edwin asked.
“Well, I mean, I’ve never done it with another boy before.” Charles explained.
“So, you’re basically just as inexperienced as me. Good to know.”
“Oh come off it.” Charles let out a chuckle.
“How do you feel now?” Edwin asked.
“I’m aces.”
“No, I mean, can you still feel? Is the pollen wearing off yet?”
“Hmmm…maybe a little. But, it’s okay.” Charles bent his head back to look across the floor at the glass jar full of golden pollen that still stood where he had left it. “There’s plenty more left.”
He tangled his fingers in Edwin’s hair, and the taller boy sighed at the feeling. He would never forget this night, no matter how much time passed. No amount of eternity could dull his love for this ghost boy. Especially if he could spend it with him.
“We should probably get off the floor.” Charles groaned.
“I love you.” Edwin whispered. “I want to stay with you. Forever.”
Charles hummed contentedly, and Edwin wondered how many more of these nights were in store for them.
“Same.”