Work Text:
“Safest way outta here,” Bode says, and Cal’s stomach churns as he looks at the Imperial sign on the escape pod bay door in front of him.
“Sure about that?” Cal says, looking over at the merc who’s just saved his life several times over.
“No,” Bode says with a shrug and a cheeky smile.
“Okay then,” Cal manages, but Zee calls him on the stress in his voice.
“You seem nervous,” the droid says. “I’m going with him.” She maneuvers her chassis over to Bode’s pod.
“After you,” Bode says, gesturing to the open door. Cal catches his concerned look out of the corner of his eye, but he’s momentarily frozen in front of his pod. BD chitters a query in Binary, and his little weight shifts onto Cal’s right shoulder as he beeps another question in Bode’s direction.
It’s that little shift that makes Cal rock back on his heels and trot to the other pod. If BD wants to stay with Zee, Cal doesn’t have to choose this solitary pod, and then Cal doesn’t feel so bad about his sudden need to not be alone. And if Bode is there, well…
Cal boosts his speed with the Force so he can slip between the pod doors as they close. Bode’s eyes immediately meet his, widened in surprise, his hands on the straps of Zee’s restraints. Their gaze holds for a moment before Zee raises a hand and waves. “Bode is being such a gentleman, securing my seat. But there’s plenty of room for you too, Cal!” she says. She waves a hand at the chairs across from her.
BD chirps and jets himself over to the small platform between the other chairs. Cal frowns. He knows exactly how many steps it will take to get from the door to the chairs, and how many jumps his younger self would need to boost himself over his Master’s dead body. Cal doesn’t want to take those steps. He knows, he knows, there’s nothing here to harm him, not this time. Bode’s right, these pods are the safest way to get out of the Lucrehulk without fighting their way through the Raiders and droids trying to steal Zee away from them again, but Cal can’t make himself move.
All Imperial tech is laid out the same way. Cal could walk the halls of this ship blindfolded and find his way to every refresher, even without the Force. One little escape pod is nothing. Zee is sitting in the exact same seat where Cal had huddled, Master Tapal’s broken saber clutched in his hands, Master Tapal’s broken body at his feet, and Cal lifts his chin, refusing to look at the floor. But he still can’t take that first step.
It’s Bode’s hand on his shoulder that jerks him out of that paralysis, soft words he can’t quite comprehend murmured near his ear, a gentle push on the middle of his back that has him almost falling forward towards BD, who lets out a sad bwoo before Bode catches his elbow with a gloved hand.
“Doing okay there, scrapper?” Bode says, and Cal can only nod. He lets Bode turn him, obeys when Bode tells him to sit, hearing only static as his eyes drift to the pod floor. The floor, which is pristine and white and not covered by a fast-cooling Lasat body.
Bode’s hands are sure, efficient, as he pulls the restraints around Cal’s unresisting form, repeating the motions he’s just done for Zee, who’s stayed uncharacteristically silent throughout all of this. Cal closes his eyes and imagines he’s somewhere, anywhere, else. Sorc Tormo’s fighting pit, even—that hadn’t frozen him so badly as this. BD thrusts his head under Cal’s fist, and he looks over and unclenches his hand enough to pat his droid, then drops his head to the pod wall, gaze drifting to Bode’s broad chest in front of him, focusing on the collar of his shirt, how it stretches as Bode’s arms move, at the shifting line of skin that shows there. Better that than Zee’s unblinking optics or the empty floor.
“You can do this, scrapper,” Bode says, tightening the restraints and grabbing Cal by the shoulders. Cal’s eyes drift up to Bode’s, and suddenly there’s nothing else in his view.
The mercenary kneels, and Cal blinks owlishly down at him and their suddenly entwined hands. He can feel the warmth through the well-worn leather, echoes of its use fluttering their memories at his psychometry. Cal’s glad they’re not stronger, grateful a carefully exhaled breath blows them away. “I don’t know what happened to you, but I swear you’re gonna be safe here with me,” Bode says, squeezing their hands together.
BD trills agreement at his side, confident and reassuring. The ghost of a smile pulls at Cal’s mouth.
“And with me!” Zee says, holding up a finger. Cal has to laugh, though it’s a strained one.
“Ah, there you are, scrapper,” Bode says, and Cal wonders if he really can feel the relief pouring off of Bode, or if he’s just projecting his own. He’s stuck on the smile the mercenary gives him, the flash of teeth bared in a grin.
Bode gives him one more squeeze, then gets to his feet, moving toward the pilot’s chair. Cal holds onto Bode’s hand a moment longer than he should, trapping the don’t leave me behind his teeth. It’s childish, he’s a Knight, for void’s sake, he’s safe and of course someone has to start the ejection sequence. BD butts his head into Cal’s thigh with a Binary whistle, and Cal looks down at his droid with a tremulous smile. “I know I’m safe, buddy. Thanks.”
“This Empire has not been kind to you, Cal Kestis, has it?” Zee says, for once the enthusiasm in her voice gone. Cal presses his lips together; there’s no need to tell her his life story, not when it’s carved into his face.
The pod jolts and Cal’s hands go to his restraints. Bode takes the seat across from Cal, buckling his belt with quick movements. Not a moment too soon—the pod jerks them sideways, and they’re high enough that Cal’s stomach seems to press into his throat as they fall, as BD clamps onto his arm, as the lights flicker, as the wind rushes by the pod, driving the scent of blasterfire and blood into his nose, as the too large form at his feet is pushed to the rear of the pod with the speed—Master Tapal had always said Cal would be able to look him in the eye one day but this isn’t the way he wanted to do it—
“Look at me, Cal,” Bode’s voice says, and Cal has to obey. He finds Bode’s eyes in the strobing light and stares at reality.
“You’re safe, scrapper, safer than a tooka kit in its den. Just a little while longer, yeah?” Bode’s voice is soothing, low, just audible over the escape pod engines, and Cal blinks, letting the words wash over him.
Another jolt, this one stronger than any of the others, has Cal raising his hands to protect himself, and BD slides off his arm with a startled beep. That first pod had driven itself deep into the mud, shattering the windows, and Cal had to climb out the back, stepping on his Master’s body to reach the hatch—the sob he’d let out then matches the one he can’t stop now—
Bode’s hands are on his—when did he get out of his seat? How long have they been stopped?--and Cal realizes Bode is speaking to him in that same calming voice, you’re safe, it’s over, whatever happened to you was then and this is now and you’re safe with me, scrapper.
Gloved hands release Cal from his restraints, and he falls forward, into Bode’s arms. BD hops on his back, chattering in Binary as Bode chuckles and lifts Cal’s elbows, helping him stand.
Cal lets himself stand there for a moment, huddled in the circle of Bode’s embrace, and Bode allows it. He’s still murmuring soft words into Cal’s hair, his comforting voice bringing back memories of the Temple and his Master after a particularly bad echo had left him voiceless with remembered screams. Cal does what his Master had done then, letting a tendril of his Force curl around Bode. He won’t be able to feel it, but it’s all the thanks Cal can manage as his muscles slowly start to obey his wishes after being locked up for so long.
“Brothers indeed,” Zee announces, and Bode stiffens, pulls away, giving Cal a crooked smile and a wink before turning to the droid. Cal keeps that light Force touch on Bode’s shoulders while the mercenary helps Zee out of her restraints, offering a hand to help her stand.
BD whistles a happy line as Bode ushers Zee out of the pod; thankfully it landed rather level, so there’s no giant jump outside the hatch. Then the mercenary turns and looks back at Cal, holding out his hand, beckoning.
“You’re safe now, scrapper,” Bode says, and Cal smiles for the first time since Dagan tried to drop a piece of machinery on his head.
Cal thinks safe and takes Bode’s hand as he exits the pod. He looks back at the gaping hatch, once, as they begin the limping trek back to Rambler’s Reach, and misses Bode’s shiver as Cal withdraws his fiery touch.